A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am currently in a long distance relationship and last weekend went out with some friends. I was quite drunk and so was one of my friends and she kissed me. It took me a couple of seconds to react mainly due to my drunkeness but I pushed her away. I then proceeded to call my gf and explain to her that this girl tried to kiss me. She seemed ok about it but I'm not sure that she totally understood that there were a few seconds before I pushed her away. I have no feelings for this other girl at all and love my gf. I'm not sure whether I should bring the subject up again to try and make sure she understands or just leave it? I'm scared that if I bring up the subject again changing the story she'll think I've been lying about it all causing further harm.
View related questions:
drunk, long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours  +, writes (9 March 2011):
 Was it a few seconds of you sitting there, blank stare, gettng kissed, or a few seconds of you kissing back?
If the first, then don't worry about it, because the point is, as soon as you realised what was happening, you pushed her away.
If it was the latter, then you should be worried about your loyalties.
But you seem very loyal and I'm sure she knows that. YOu maybe feeling anxious because you still have guilt. It's really not possible for us to by flushed of our guilt until we can forgive ourselves. Others can forgive us, but that never makes it go away completely, until we are able to do the same.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 March 2011):
 The average reaction time in a sober person is one second. While driving a car, that's the main reason why tailgating is so dangerous. In a drunk person, that can increase to two or even three seconds, so I do believe you when you say that it took a couple of seconds to register a kiss before you pushed her away. 5-10 seconds, and that's a tiny bit more questionable and might result in temptation you wrestled with before pushing her away.
She seemed okay, but it's okay to re-bring it up. I'm sure she's mulling it over, and your earnestness is a truthful trait, as opposed to a "eh, it happened" stance. Give her a chance to talk to you about it if she wants to, and just reassure her that the contact was very much unwanted.
It also might help to lay off too much alcohol for a bit until any hurt feelings, if any, on her part cool off.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2011): Don't worry about it. You obviously are very loyal to her and she probably can sense that. If you bring it up again I think you will come across as needy.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2011): I think she will be ok. But if you guys ever get married you do know that you will never be able go to sleep in the same room with her ever again.
...............................
|
