A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Need help. I have dated a guy for two years. Since i was 16 and he was 19. He always told me he loved me, that he wanted to marry me and he treated me well. We have been through a lot but i can honestly say i love him. A few months ago he went abroad and hes parents told him they wanted him to marry a girl fo their choice. He knew this was a possibility before he left and reassured me plenty of time he wouldnt do it. When we argued he said he didnt know why he shouldnt but whenever we sorted it out he told me he wouldnt. Now hes been gone a couple of months for the first few weeks we stayed in touch. Then he stopped taking my calls. When he finally picked up he told me he was engaged and to be married soon. He told me not to call him again. I believed he loved me and cant imagine what we had being in the slightest way fake. Hes back in two weeks. How should i handle it. If hes married how do i let go?
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male
reader, uncle bob  +, writes (24 March 2011):
 From the way you word this, it sounds like he comes from a culture far different from yours. He is willing to let his parents choose his bride for him. If this is so, then there's no way either of you would be happy if he chose to go against his parents. If he chose you, I can almost guarantee his parents will never accept you, and they might even "disown" him. This is no way to start a relationship.
It's best if you just remember the good times you had with him, and get on with your life.
(yes, I know it hurts, but it doesn't last forever)
Look to guys that have a similar upbringing and culture to your own.
You'll be much happier.
A
female
reader, amazingk +, writes (24 March 2011):
 You "let go" by honoring what he asked and not calling anymore. Don't show up on his doorstep, either. It's over. Stay moving on. All you can possibly be from here if you do get back in touch with him is "the other woman" and that's a painfully degrading role that no woman should have to play.
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (24 March 2011):
 Getting over someone is really just a one-day-at-a-time kind of thing. Everyday, you have to occupy yourself and keep yourself busy enough that you're not thinking about him all the time. After trying to keep your mind off of him for a few weeks, it'll get easier. After a few months, you won't have to try... you just won't think of him everyday. As time goes on, you'll miss him less and less and slowly get over him. During this process, you just have to wake up everyday looking forward to the future, when things will be better for you. There really isn't any other way that i've ever heard of.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2011): It sounds like this guy may have been presured into marrying someone else, however if he did not notifie you straight away that make thing alot worse, the best advice i could give you is to walk away and dont have any contact what so ever with this guy, when he returns keep your head held high and show him that he lost a keeper, its going to be very hard to get over it and im in d process of getting over a simular cituation but time is a great healer, and you will find a guy who you deserve and will treat you properly...
Hope this helps x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2011): let him go he doesnt care about you. move on.
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A
male
reader, yazanco  +, writes (24 March 2011):
Men sometime they are cheap i agree, although i am a man, they look for only for their interests.
if he is married what to do!, i suggest you start to forget him.
it is very hard i know, but, life has to go on.
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A
female
reader, girlwhoneedshelp  +, writes (23 March 2011):
 I'm so sorry for you that you are in this situation. If this was an arranged marriage, which it sounds like then I don't think there is going to be much hope for you, especially if he has gone along with it. I know that families like that can put a lot of pressure on their children and unfortunately they have won this one.
He has asked you not to call him again which I think you should take as the end. If he really loved you I don't think he would have let this get in the way. If you continue after him you would be making a big mistake and opening yourself up to even more hurt.
I know it will be hard but you've got to let him go and try and move on. Please don't spend your life chasing a man that can't be yours when there could be another out there who can be.
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