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| | *incerely Yours's profile:I deleted my account once before. This is my second account. I regret deleting it, because I would like to see the things I wrote 6 years ago. I would like to see my progression or regression of wisdom. I've gone through phases of cynicism and optimism. Despite the enormity of my traumatic experiences, I almost think I'm too optimistic to give advice. I guess I have, if nothing else, a varied perspective to add to situations. Take it or leave it I guess.
Please feel free to PM for an elaboration of something I've written. However I am not comfortable being contacted for my sole advice. I am not all-knowing, nor an MD or psychologist and part of this site is getting different opinions. So please, for your own sake, if you have a question, post it publicly to get a better response.
Thanks :] ~Sy |
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I waited faithfully for him while he was deployed but now he says he only loves our daughter
Q. Help. I waited.. i've been waiting faithfuly since Jan 09. I sent him packages, took good care of our daughter, was nice, honest, affectionate. But then he came home, and he says he's too different to love me anymore. He says the only person he ...
A. 7 June 2010: That is a good suggestion. I will look into Miamine. Thank you.... (read in full...)
I waited faithfully for him while he was deployed but now he says he only loves our daughter
Q. Help. I waited.. i've been waiting faithfuly since Jan 09. I sent him packages, took good care of our daughter, was nice, honest, affectionate. But then he came home, and he says he's too different to love me anymore. He says the only person he ...
A. 7 June 2010: Counselling.. I have thought about it. I have an inability to talk to counsellors though. My mom tried putting me in in HS, but he refused to see me after 3 weeks because he knew I couldn't talk to him. And hub would never go for it. He's far too ... (read in full...)
Pregnant girlfriend...adoption, abortion, or keeping it.. I need advice when none are options!
Q. hi, so i have been going out with my girlfriend for a year and two months. This past week she took a pregnancy test and it came out positive. We discussed our options with ourselves and somewhat agreed that we were going to keep it. The next day i ...
A. 7 June 2010: I don't think it's likely she shut you out forever. I'm sure she's just mad. Does she still live at home?
You could just go to her house. Give her time to cool off though.
You have a right to your child, if that's what you want.
She asked... (read in full...)
How important is the "spark"? Can a relationship work without it?
Q. I have a question about the "spark." For those of you who are in good stable happy relationship, do you still feel a spark after years and years of being together? I am wondering how important this spark is. I'm with a guy and we have admitted...
A. 7 June 2010: You should stop listening to what you hear on the streets, and statistics. The "sparks" between you and your boyfriend will depend on the two of you. If your relationship consists mainly of sitting on the couch watching tv, then don't expect that ... (read in full...)
My husband's lack of romance and affection is so neglecting for me!
Q. What do you do about a man who just does not show his feelings of love/acts romantce/flirtations/etc.... I really am lacking attention!! So I guess I knew what I was getting into ten years ago when we got together... I was a newly divorcee... And ...
A. 7 June 2010: You might want to look into "aspergers" Maybe spelled "aspergurs" Not sure. Google it, research it, get broshures on it. I know o people who have this. Both of them were unable to convey to their friends or loved ones that they cared. The guy I know ... (read in full...)
My dad was such a jerk! How do I deal with this and stop my annoyance from consuming me?
Q. Grrr.. In so frustrated at what happened last night after going for a meal with my family! It was my boyfriends birthday and we decided to take him out to eat, I said it'd be my treat because my bf always pays for everything when we go out. ...
A. 7 June 2010: Yes.. that's.. hilariously selfish and rude. That's a comedy show type story.
No offense.
You can't get passed it if you don't have a go at him yourself. ... (read in full...)
Is my internet boyfriend better as just a friend?
Q. For almost seven months now I’ve been in an internet/long distance relationship with a man 3000 miles away. Back in March, he came to visit me for a week and it was the best week of my life (we did everything we could possibly do in a week ...
A. 7 June 2010: I'm afraid there's some info missing here. Why do you assume your parents would hate him? Is he much older than you are? Does he have a criminal record? Is his hair too long? ... (read in full...)
Suddenly , 4months into our relationship, he now lets me know that he has a child!!
Q. Okay Im in a four month relationship. I am 20 years old. I found old yesterday my boyfriend has a five year old child. I am blown away by this and devastated. I feel too young to be with someone who has baggage but I also feel tricked that he waited ...
A. 7 June 2010: I wouldn't trust him. If it were just the child, then I could understand his fear of telling you, not that I would condone the lie. But if he has lied to you several times before and it's only been four months... eeeehhhhh slippery slope. A ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend got drunk and took her top off with a group of other people. Should I be worried??
Q. My girlfriend and I recently attended my best friends wedding. After the reception, everyone was pretty drunk. And myself along with several other people (two who were good friends of mine) continued drinking and partying in the hotel (we had the ...
A. 7 June 2010: She might not remember, but I suspect she does remember, in which case she lied. In my experince, people lie when they are sincerely ashamed. I forgive liars who lie for reasons like this because its not my business to judge them on things that they ... (read in full...)
I waited faithfully for him while he was deployed but now he says he only loves our daughter
Q. Help. I waited.. i've been waiting faithfuly since Jan 09. I sent him packages, took good care of our daughter, was nice, honest, affectionate. But then he came home, and he says he's too different to love me anymore. He says the only person he ...
A. 7 June 2010: No divorce here. He's kind of become a little abusive.. But it's mostly when he drinks too much. He says he loves me now. ... (read in full...)
I waited faithfully for him while he was deployed but now he says he only loves our daughter
Q. Help. I waited.. i've been waiting faithfuly since Jan 09. I sent him packages, took good care of our daughter, was nice, honest, affectionate. But then he came home, and he says he's too different to love me anymore. He says the only person he ...
A. 10 May 2010: Partly why I am in shock is because he needed me and loved me so much while he was there. I wasn't the kind of wife he sheilded from horror stories. He confided in me. Today he discussed who would get what ina divorce. I told him I dontt care if you ... (read in full...)
I waited faithfully for him while he was deployed but now he says he only loves our daughter
Q. Help. I waited.. i've been waiting faithfuly since Jan 09. I sent him packages, took good care of our daughter, was nice, honest, affectionate. But then he came home, and he says he's too different to love me anymore. He says the only person he ...
A. 9 May 2010: Thank you so much for that little twinge of hope. I will read your post over and over as needed, to help me get through days. I hope he loves me again. He is the one for me.. he's it. Without him, there would only be me. And that's not really good ... (read in full...)
Do guys ever just want to stay friends?
Q. Will guys ever CHOOSE to be just friends with a girl? If he finds her beautiful inside and out- nice, sweet, amazing looks, smart, etc- and they're both single? There's sexual tension. Can he ever just want it to stay platonic? Happened with ...
A. 1 April 2010: I don't think so.
I had this guy friend who i was so happy to have because he never seemed to want anything more and that was a nice change. Then four years later, after I broke up with my ex, he randomly tried to make out with me.
Yup..... (read in full...)
Would you be offended if someone put you in a situation like this?
Q. Imagine this situation: you are walking down the street with a close friend, lets call her Jane, and the two of you run into an old friend of Jane's, whom you've never met before. The two of them start catching up and end up talking for half an ...
A. 1 April 2010: I wouldn't do that to any one else and i wouldn't like that done to me.
~sy... (read in full...)
Sorry... wrong hole!
Q. Me and my GF were having sex last night and I slipped in to the wrong hole. Well she winced at first but didn't yell or object too strongly, so I rolled with the punches and continued in her rear. I thought it was great and she seemed to enjoy it ...
A. 1 April 2010: Well that's not fair.
Yes, you should have actually asked her if you could continue instead of making the assumption, but she should have said something if she wanted you to stop.
I doesn't seem fair that she is so mad at you for continue... (read in full...)
I've been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend for months,but I did take 3 contraceptive pills at once, could I be pregnant?
Q. im a bit confused.... 2 days before i was due on my period i took 3 conterception pills in one night, i heard that by doing that it can delay your period for a couple of days, is that true? but im now 5 days late on my period, these past few m...
A. 1 April 2010: If your pregnant, come back and talk to us. We'll help you through that proccess. ... (read in full...)
Am I still a virgin?
Q. i want to know if im still a virgin or not i had some sort of sex today lol his penis didnt go fully into my vagina, it just slide on my vagina, n mayb a tiny bit went inside, and that lasted like 2 minutes lol i still think im a virgin but i ...
A. 1 April 2010: Yeah hymen has nothing to do with virginity. Some girls' hymens break when they excerise to hard, use a tampon, dildo, vibrator and some don't even have one. Let's kill that myth.
If his penis was inside of you for two mintues then I'd say you ... (read in full...)
I feel like I married a pimp!
Q. Before my husband and i were married we were out one evening drinking and i picked up a woman mostly to please my husband. We ended going back to her hotel and even as drunk as I was I was very uncomfortable when I saw him touching her and I ran ...
A. 1 April 2010: He doesn't sound like he's making you happy in any way whatsoever. You've gotta get crackin on that family because if he puts it off for too long, it'll be too late for you and then you'll hate him on a whole new level. Get a job, save up money, get ... (read in full...)
He never invites me out, and then expects me to pick him up drunk at 6 am!
Q. Why does my husband do this?? He goes out with the guys about once a month. Most of them are the guys he works with. He never invites me and I know that there are other women there because when he calls me I can hear the laughing in the backgrou...
A. 1 April 2010: I'd say he just wants that one night a month away from his wife and kid to hang with the guys. No harm.
Don't wake up the poor kid in the future. That's what public tranportation is for. ... (read in full...)
How can I convince him to take the next step?
Q. i in iove with a married man and he feels the same but he is afraid to leave his wife. we get on together and share a lot. how can i convince him to take the next step? We are same age, we trust each other too....
A. 31 March 2010: How can you trust someone who is cheating on his wife?
I hope he leaves her. That poor woman needs to find someone who isn't jerk enough to cheat on her.
You could always call her and relieve her of her burdon. ... (read in full...)
I've been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend for months,but I did take 3 contraceptive pills at once, could I be pregnant?
Q. im a bit confused.... 2 days before i was due on my period i took 3 conterception pills in one night, i heard that by doing that it can delay your period for a couple of days, is that true? but im now 5 days late on my period, these past few m...
A. 31 March 2010: Um..
Did you know that sex is actually for the purpose of procreating?
90% of teens who are sexually active fall pregnant within the first year.
~sy... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my husband want any children??
Q. my husband and i have been together for 13 yrs now. we have 2 children although only one is biologically his. we have currently come across a problem. when i bring up the subject of another child, he says he doesnt want anymore. he knows that this ...
A. 31 March 2010: A person who does not want a child, is someone who should not have a child. This is absolutely not something you should force.I don't have proof and I haven't done research, but logically, i'd say that unwatned children is where a lot of neglect, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is in the army and I miss him like crazy.
Q. Hey, I have a boyfriend, and he is now in the army. He hasn't left yet but he will in August. He just turned 18 in March. Lets call him....Rambo XD. I love Rambo with all my heart and soul. He says his job doesn't involve any combat so he cant ge...
A. 30 March 2010: Oh, sorry.
THEY ARE WRONG.
If you want it to work and you are strong, then it will work.
Trust me.
But you really do have to understand how hard it is before you make that committment. Being in the Army family is not easy. Not in the least... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is in the army and I miss him like crazy.
Q. Hey, I have a boyfriend, and he is now in the army. He hasn't left yet but he will in August. He just turned 18 in March. Lets call him....Rambo XD. I love Rambo with all my heart and soul. He says his job doesn't involve any combat so he cant ge...
A. 30 March 2010: She sounds like she's 13-15.
"I hope I can stay faithful."
Cheating isn't something that takes over you. You have a choice. If you don't stay faithful, it's because you weren't strong enough. And if you go into this thinking "i hope I can s... (read in full...)
Is it appropriate to go to a guys house on a second date?
Q. BIG question...What's appropriate for a first or second date? I went to dinner with this guy for our first date and now, he wants me to come over his house and he admitted that he was really attracted to him and joked we might end up in bed or ...
A. 30 March 2010: Sorry, didn't see your follow up. Yes you can mail tish-01 (hope she doesn't mind my saying but i know she's very open about being a mod)
and I believe she can unapprove your question.
But there's nothing to be embarrassed about at all. ... (read in full...)
Is it appropriate to go to a guys house on a second date?
Q. BIG question...What's appropriate for a first or second date? I went to dinner with this guy for our first date and now, he wants me to come over his house and he admitted that he was really attracted to him and joked we might end up in bed or ...
A. 30 March 2010: You should never be in an isolated, secluded area alone with someone who you've only met once or even a couple of times. Even putting the safety aspect aside, I personally wouldn't go over on a second date, because that might tempt us to move things ... (read in full...)
He was bummed, and seemed disappointed. What can I do to help our budding relationship?
Q. So the other night this guy who I really like and me had sex for the first time. I was a little confused because I couldnt tell if he was enjoying it or not... it was hard to see any facial expressions in the dark but I could feel that he was ...
A. 30 March 2010: It's rather difficult for women to escalate during sex without other stimulation. I've done it before a few times, it has to be very deep and I have to be on top, controlling what spot his tip hits. I guess there "size matters" comes in, because if ... (read in full...)
Do men become possesive after sex?
Q. Do men become possesive after sex? I've been with a guy for nearly a year now, and we recently started having sex around the beginning of the year. I've noticed now he occasionally refers to me as me 'my girl' . He wants to see me the whole weekend ...
A. 29 March 2010: Well.. you know what everyone said something slightly different based on their own experience. If nothing else, this should teach you, OP, not to ask a question like "do MEN get possessive" because that refers to all men and the resulting answer ... (read in full...)
Hurt and betrayed by his text messages to another woman
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 11 years now and on the weekend of my birthday we rented a resort and invited some friends to celebrate. Well when he fell asleep something told me to check his phone and I did. That's when I found out! I h...
A. 29 March 2010: The next step? I guess.. he needs to understand that you are hurt because of him and that you will be untrusting and maybe even slightly paranoid for a while. He has to be patient and understanding and when you question him every time he texts ... (read in full...)
What can be done about my hair?
Q. Ok, this isn't a relationship question but I'm so upset that I can't stand it. I'm upset about my hair, that I'm just crying my heart to pieces as I write this. I'm in tears because I'm so miserable and I need help. It looks shit ugly and I'...
A. 29 March 2010: Yeah, I kind of have to agree with Marieclaire. As harsh as it is, I was thinking of all the people who are so much worse off than you and how you should be grateful as I was reading your post. I would love to be teaching right now but my hub is ... (read in full...)
Hurt and betrayed by his text messages to another woman
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 11 years now and on the weekend of my birthday we rented a resort and invited some friends to celebrate. Well when he fell asleep something told me to check his phone and I did. That's when I found out! I h...
A. 29 March 2010: Well that's completely different.
They aren't "just words." They came from feelings and turned into words and therefore reflect what he wants and feels.
That in my book, is cheating and a whole other story. I don't think I would divorce my husba... (read in full...)
What can be done about my hair?
Q. Ok, this isn't a relationship question but I'm so upset that I can't stand it. I'm upset about my hair, that I'm just crying my heart to pieces as I write this. I'm in tears because I'm so miserable and I need help. It looks shit ugly and I'...
A. 28 March 2010: When is your birthday? I'd ask for a gift card for a clothes store and a hair place.
Also, set aside say, 15 dollars a month or sometimes that you would normally spend on fastfood or soda or something sweet. After a few months you can go give your... (read in full...)
Hurt and betrayed by his text messages to another woman
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 11 years now and on the weekend of my birthday we rented a resort and invited some friends to celebrate. Well when he fell asleep something told me to check his phone and I did. That's when I found out! I h...
A. 28 March 2010: Oh I just had to take a nice, long break. Been a little busy. Started online school and the hub came back to the states so I've been driving 600 miles every weekend to go see him. Also had a homeless person move in with me for a couple months so I ... (read in full...)
Why did he start a conversation, only to ignore me half way thru it?
Q. hiya im 17 On thurs night i went to a party n got with this guy who i had been talking to for the past 6 months on and off, there being a definate spark. He wouldnt leave my side and held my hand. But was very into 'going somewhere else' ...
A. 28 March 2010: Yeah, some people aren't too bright so maybe he forgot he was talking to you. Maybe he drooled on his keboard and got scared and hid under his bed. Maybe a shiny popup came on his screen and he got distracted. Or maybe he came across some porn and ... (read in full...)
I called him up and a girl answered.
Q. is he playing me or what? ok so me and my bf has been together for 18 months, he was my first everything. i truly feel like he loves me. he does the littlest things that make me feel special, all though he is in a different state he still...
A. 28 March 2010: There are only two reasons that come to mind that a girl would call you back. And those would be that 1. you called the wrong number, or 2. He is in a relationship with someone else as well, who doesn't know that there's another woman. If he is ... (read in full...)
How can I get my mum to want to talk to my boyfriend?
Q. hey guys i dont know how good you guys are at thinking but i need some ideas and fast ... the thing is that me and my boyfriend have been going out for three months now and my mum still doesnt want to meet him and she wont let him in the house...
A. 28 March 2010: I have found that the best way to get people to listen to you is to write it out and give it to them to read on their own time. That way they don't feel the need to interupt you with their thoughts or to immediately reject any ideas they don't ... (read in full...)
Do men become possesive after sex?
Q. Do men become possesive after sex? I've been with a guy for nearly a year now, and we recently started having sex around the beginning of the year. I've noticed now he occasionally refers to me as me 'my girl' . He wants to see me the whole weekend ...
A. 28 March 2010: Hey, whoa. My husband is so sweet. He doesn't like guys looking at me and he and pretty much every other guy I've met call their girl friends "my girl." I don't think those are signs that you should leave him because he will beat you one day. That's ... (read in full...)
Non-savoury discharge... what can this be?
Q. Hi, I'm 16 years old and i've noticed that there is an odd White discharge coming from my vagina and there seem to be small clumps around my clitoris. If I wipe it away it comes back And it's not particularly savoury. I have never had sex or any ...
A. 28 March 2010: It could be an infection and may mean that the ph balance in your vagina is off. That can cause bacterial vaginosis or other infections. No big. Just tell your mom or call a doctor and ask for the nurse. I remember seeing that a ton when I was ... (read in full...)
My molester is going to be at this dinner. Should I go?
Q. today me and my boyfriend will be going out to dinner along with his mother and brother it was all payed for his brother's company. ok here is were it get's interesting i found out last night that my mother whom i dont get along with will be there ...
A. 28 March 2010: I don't think your mental health and the pain you'll experience after seeing their faces again together, especially his, will be worth a little annoyance in his head that you are fine. If that's even what he'll get from it. If you want him to hear ... (read in full...)
Hurt and betrayed by his text messages to another woman
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 11 years now and on the weekend of my birthday we rented a resort and invited some friends to celebrate. Well when he fell asleep something told me to check his phone and I did. That's when I found out! I h...
A. 28 March 2010: Oh, by the way q1605, I read that first line of your post without seeing your screen name and thought to myself "that's got to be q."
Just thought you should know what distinctive diction you have.
Love, ~sy ... (read in full...)
Hurt and betrayed by his text messages to another woman
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 11 years now and on the weekend of my birthday we rented a resort and invited some friends to celebrate. Well when he fell asleep something told me to check his phone and I did. That's when I found out! I h...
A. 28 March 2010: I'm sorry that you are hurt.
I don't see how you can stop yourself from thinking about it honestly, so you'll just have to give it time.
I'm guessing he just became friends with this woman and found comfort in talking to her above other people, ... (read in full...)
I know its selfish but I want him to come home
Q. how can i persuade him to come home My boyfriend and i have been together for alomost a year now but hes taken a job oppertunity in the states for 8 months. weve been through so much together and it was so hard for me to watch him go. i miss h...
A. 28 March 2010: The decision is completely his own. It's his career, relationship and family. You have to stand by and let him do what his heart and head tells him to do. A decision that big is something that he needs to be respondible for, whether it's a good or a ... (read in full...)
Do men become possesive after sex?
Q. Do men become possesive after sex? I've been with a guy for nearly a year now, and we recently started having sex around the beginning of the year. I've noticed now he occasionally refers to me as me 'my girl' . He wants to see me the whole weekend ...
A. 28 March 2010: Some men want their girl's on display and some men go with the "hands off, eyes off" way of thinking. Personally, I'm happier with my husband's approach of standing behind me so no one can look at my butt, kind of thing. It's so cute, and manly if ... (read in full...)
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