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| | *incerely Yours's profile:I deleted my account once before. This is my second account. I regret deleting it, because I would like to see the things I wrote 6 years ago. I would like to see my progression or regression of wisdom. I've gone through phases of cynicism and optimism. Despite the enormity of my traumatic experiences, I almost think I'm too optimistic to give advice. I guess I have, if nothing else, a varied perspective to add to situations. Take it or leave it I guess.
Please feel free to PM for an elaboration of something I've written. However I am not comfortable being contacted for my sole advice. I am not all-knowing, nor an MD or psychologist and part of this site is getting different opinions. So please, for your own sake, if you have a question, post it publicly to get a better response.
Thanks :] ~Sy |
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I found out my boyfriend is cheating, how do I handle it?
Q. My boyfriend of 5 months has been acting strange he used to reply to my messages within an hour at the most but usually straight away but now he keeps coming up with stupid reasons like his phone needs charging I can charge my phone and still reply ...
A. 4 January 2015: You don't owe him any fancy explanation. Simply state your reason and go. Your relationship is still so young, you're lucky not to have found out after a year. ... (read in full...)
My b/f is unemployed and we had a fight over me spending money. How do I make things right?
Q. i'll try to make this short: my boyfriend and I have been together for little over a year. Everything's perfect. However, he's broke and unemployed and that means I take the financial burden. We both live with our parents, as we're in our 20s...
A. 4 January 2015: He is taking advantage of you. And now he's guilt tripping you. Sorry. If he wanted you to save your money, he would tell you in a genuine way. Not tell you to do whatever you want and leave him alone. And you really don't need to be putting all ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my ex-friend from telling this guy I like him?
Q. Well, I like my best friends twin brother, and she knows and is cool with it, but I really don't want him to know. my ex friend keeps threatning to tell him and he's also one of my best friends so I don't want him to know, as I don't want it to come ...
A. 4 January 2015: That's awesome! I think you did a good job handling that ! ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my ex-friend from telling this guy I like him?
Q. Well, I like my best friends twin brother, and she knows and is cool with it, but I really don't want him to know. my ex friend keeps threatning to tell him and he's also one of my best friends so I don't want him to know, as I don't want it to come ...
A. 4 January 2015: You can't force her to or not to tell. What has she threatened you with, or what is she demanding in exchange for not telling?dont circulate your life for fear of her. It may help you to come to terms with the idea of him finding out, so if she does ... (read in full...)
He says he will support my decision, but I feel he is pushing for an abortion.
Q. I met a guy over the summer while we were both vacationing. We kept in touch and he has visited me since then every other weekend and sometimes those in between. Although he lives in the next state over we keep in contact daily have great ...
A. 3 January 2015: He may have doubt in his voice and he may ask you to consider abortion, but he's stated he will support you either way so I wouldn't question it. ... (read in full...)
The more she drinks the more obnoxious she becomes, should I tell her?
Q. I met this lady at a social function. She was the life of the party funny witty and outgoing. She seriously could be a professional comic. We have hung out about 7X since our meeting. These hang outs have been scattered over 3-4 years. Casual ...
A. 3 January 2015: I think she would benefit from hearing that she's bothering other people. It's certainly no benefit to her to not know. If she's a mature adult, she can take it and reflect on it. If she can't handle it and gets offended and angry, it's not your ... (read in full...)
Could his online message have been meant for me?
Q. I met someone a few months ago. He is very attracted to me (and I to him), and I recently went out of my way to do something nice for him to thank him for something he did. We are just friends and neither of us has said anything...yet. I am still in ...
A. 3 January 2015: I'm not really sure anyone expects to be googled and I'm confused about what aspect he would tell you not to give up on. It's possible he was thinking of you when he wrote it, but I wouldn't get too caught up in this. There's really no way to tell ... (read in full...)
I texted her "thanks for ruining my relationship" and she just lolled!
Q. My gf of a year broke up with me due to my friendship with a girl. On hindsight I was more emotionally invested in her than my gf and I do regret my actions. A few days back I texted her (out of anger) "thanks for ruining my relationship". (When ...
A. 3 January 2015: I don't think she took your message seriously, probably saw it as ridiculous and didn't have much of a response to give. You may consider issuing her an apology for putting sole blame on her for destruction of your relationship.
~SY
... (read in full...)
Is there some way to tell if he's ready for a girl friend?
Q. I met this guy in 2013 (he's 45, I'm 42) and we've stayed in touch, texting back and forth. When I met him, he was going through his first year of separation, waiting to be divorced. We met at the worst possible time. This year in Aug-Sept, we ...
A. 29 December 2014: I can't be sure, but just in general, it seems dangerous to settle down with a freshly divorced person. It seems it could potentially be somewhat like letting a dog out of the cage (not that he's a dog or marriage is a cage, but you get it). You ... (read in full...)
Why does he keep me on Facebook if he doesn't want to be with me?
Q. Hi. After having a brief fling with a guy who I met, I called it off as he was losing interest in me and he has moved onto someone else now instead. The thing is - even though we don't have contact like we used to - we are still friends on Facebook...
A. 29 December 2014: He probably didn't give it much thought or deem it necessary to remove you as it would just come off as cold or rude. You have more reason to remove him than he does, so my opinion is to go ahead and do it yourself. That way you're not thinking of ... (read in full...)
Where can I go to meet girls appropriate for my age?
Q. Can't login because my email "isn't in the right format". But whatever... I've been feeling a bit isolated since I left my high school during my sophomore year to go to school online. Long story short (well, not really short), it's gotten kind of ...
A. 29 December 2014: I think you're being a little restricting. Unfortunately we don't come with age labels. Some girls in high school will be 18, some girls in college will be 18-20. I think it's ok for you to date a 20 year old! A lot of those 17 year olds will be 18 ... (read in full...)
I am falling in love with an internet friend.
Q. I met a guy on an advice site kinda like this one, and we've gotten really close. Originally he just messaged me to answer my question, and usually I don't respond to messages but he was so nice, so we became pretty close friends. We've only been ...
A. 29 December 2014: I guess I would feel better for you about it if there was a way for you to see his face while he talks. Does he have a smart phone? A Facebook with his life and past on it, pictures videos, anything? People do form relationships over he internet and ... (read in full...)
Moving on from FWB -- do you think he'll understand?
Q. I sent a goodbye email to a guy in my life that is not healthy for me. We have known each other for 4 years but never had relationship. We only had physical only FWB. I caught feelings he didn't so we decided not to be physical or talk anymore. ...
A. 28 December 2014: Don't worry about what he will think. In my opinion, he should not have contacted you especially on valentines day, knowing you had feelings for him. I'm sure he is a sweet guy, but that was thoughtless. Worry about yourself and leave him to his. ... (read in full...)
I am falling in love with an internet friend.
Q. I met a guy on an advice site kinda like this one, and we've gotten really close. Originally he just messaged me to answer my question, and usually I don't respond to messages but he was so nice, so we became pretty close friends. We've only been ...
A. 28 December 2014: You ought to be careful meeting a guy on an advice site. I've witnissed many trolls who charm with intentions. I would like to hear that scenario that led him to telling you he has feelings for you but he doesn't want to start a relationship.
~... (read in full...)
She left me at Christmas
Q. So my girlfriend and I have been off and on the past year. Everything seemed alright she had been staying at my house for the past week. She got a DUI and has been worried, Christmas time makes her depressed. Any way I woke up at 5 am and she was ...
A. 28 December 2014: Yup yup don't throw her shiz out! That's not helpful and is one way to make things worse. ... (read in full...)
My friend's boyfriend isn't good for her
Q. I'm worried about my friend, she met a guy of plenty of fish 5 years ago,she practically speaks or txt every day with him,he's moved in with her 2times for a couple of months even her toddler loves him(dad doesn't see her child) Anyways last Yr ...
A. 28 December 2014: Second wise_owl. Don't be pushy because you won't be heard but definitely speak your truth when it comes welcome.
~SY... (read in full...)
My brother and sister-in-law are keeping their new baby away from family
Q. Hello and thank you for taking the time to read this in advance. My brother just recently had a baby, its his first and the first grandchild. We have a beautiful little 5 week old baby in our family and everyone adores him. Is it normal to not ...
A. 28 December 2014: I like that Celtic_tiger.
~SY... (read in full...)
My brother and sister-in-law are keeping their new baby away from family
Q. Hello and thank you for taking the time to read this in advance. My brother just recently had a baby, its his first and the first grandchild. We have a beautiful little 5 week old baby in our family and everyone adores him. Is it normal to not ...
A. 28 December 2014: It sounds like they live in fear. I wonder if they have a reason for being so afraid of where the pictures end up or what could happen if someone else handles the baby?
~SY... (read in full...)
Is she being selfish and should I bring it up in such a new relationship?
Q. To cut straight to the chase, I think my girlfriend is selfish. But is she? Is it just me overreacting? Basically I really like this girl. We've been together about 2 months. We've told each other that we like each other and were not trying to me...
A. 28 December 2014: It's not a good idea to do any thing while expecting a verbal gratuity in exchange, nor an apology for your time. Although a "thank you" was not said, it was most likely felt by her. People too often forget to express their feelings, whether ... (read in full...)
Are these signals he likes me?
Q. *OP's original title* Are these signs coworker likes me? He gently nudged me on the back and when I turned he smiled and walked away He hits the back of my chair so I'll look up and notice him He stood in my way in the lunchroom, he got...
A. 28 December 2014: Sounds like flirting :) dont take it too seriously but don't take it as nothing. Id say smile and flirt back!
~SY... (read in full...)
Why does living with your parents look much worse in guys than it does in girls? for guys it usually kills their chances of having a dating life/sex life, for girls not so much
Q. If a guy lives with his parents, usually it seems if the guy is past a certain age and lives with his parents, he won't get a second look from most women, but if a woman lives with her parents regardless of her age, it's usually not a deal-breaker ...
A. 28 December 2014: If so, I do not believe that's a good plan. If you spend any time with that woman, she will find out eventually. I suppose if you were just having a guest for only one night and had no concerns for the repercussions of lying, then that would be your ... (read in full...)
Why does living with your parents look much worse in guys than it does in girls? for guys it usually kills their chances of having a dating life/sex life, for girls not so much
Q. If a guy lives with his parents, usually it seems if the guy is past a certain age and lives with his parents, he won't get a second look from most women, but if a woman lives with her parents regardless of her age, it's usually not a deal-breaker ...
A. 28 December 2014: Are you asking if it's a good idea to tell women that your parents are just "roommates?"
~SY... (read in full...)
My friend doesn't feel the same way about me as I do about her
Q. i have been friend with a girl for over an year,i liked her from start but die to our families, we certainly cat get married.so i never told her that i like her,we both knew it but still my feelings for her grew, now i am cmpletely in love with her ...
A. 28 December 2014: There's not a lot you can do. You may want to cut off your friendship. I don't see now you can end your infatuation if you continue to see her.
~SY... (read in full...)
I'm devasted after my soul mate dumped me 2 months ago
Q. I am so screwed up. My lovely bloke broke up with me 2 months ago. We were together 3 years and he was my soulmate.unfortunately we had 2 years of abuse from my ex. He stood by me but over last,12 months I saw his personality change and I think he ...
A. 28 December 2014: What does 2 years of abuse from your ex mean? What are his tactless words that upset you? What behaviors resembling ADHD disturb you?
~SY... (read in full...)
Should I text my crush "Merry Christmas"?
Q. So there's this guy who I have a crush on. He's about 5 months younger than me. We have a common friend who's trying to bring us closer to each other, because he knows I like my crush. When they were talking about girls and dating, my friend showed ...
A. 27 December 2014: No, it's too late. Wait till New years and say "Happy
New year. "
~SY... (read in full...)
Why does living with your parents look much worse in guys than it does in girls? for guys it usually kills their chances of having a dating life/sex life, for girls not so much
Q. If a guy lives with his parents, usually it seems if the guy is past a certain age and lives with his parents, he won't get a second look from most women, but if a woman lives with her parents regardless of her age, it's usually not a deal-breaker ...
A. 27 December 2014: It's primitive, evolutionary. The male of every species is expected to provide safety, shelter, and protection. The female are chosen based on fertility (physical beauty is an indicator of health and fertility). If a man is living with his parents, ... (read in full...)
Why does living with your parents look much worse in guys than it does in girls? for guys it usually kills their chances of having a dating life/sex life, for girls not so much
Q. If a guy lives with his parents, usually it seems if the guy is past a certain age and lives with his parents, he won't get a second look from most women, but if a woman lives with her parents regardless of her age, it's usually not a deal-breaker ...
A. 27 December 2014: It's primitive, evolutionary. The male of every species is expected to provide safety, shelter, and protection. The female are chosen based on fertility (physical beauty is an indicator of health and fertility). If a man is living with his parents, ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for telling him I want to talk to other people?
Q. I been with my boyfriend with a year and a month we done been through so much.i had sex with somebody while we were broken up then we got back together i thought everything was going to go back as it was but we kept getting into arguements..then one ...
A. 10 June 2011: You may think it's not fair because he's talking to other people, but you're the one who dealt the rule, so choose a side and stick with it. ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for telling him I want to talk to other people?
Q. I been with my boyfriend with a year and a month we done been through so much.i had sex with somebody while we were broken up then we got back together i thought everything was going to go back as it was but we kept getting into arguements..then one ...
A. 10 June 2011: It's never wrong to talk to someone just as a FRIEND if you are in a relationship with someone else.
But it doesn't sound as if you had a healthy relationship and I judge this by your sentence "he's talking to to girls I told him to stop talking ... (read in full...)
Fallen for b/f's brother?!
Q. i need help i really really fancy my boyfriends brother. we both had a night we shared for a kiss and a lil sexual encounter. we both didnt regret it but we both said it feels so right but so wrong with the complications. now i cant him out my head. ...
A. 10 June 2011: How do you honestly expect to keep a relationship with someone on whom you have cheated both emotionally and physically?
You're asking us this question as if you're the subject of the issue.. like it's all about you. But it's not: at this poi... (read in full...)
I'm itchy after sex. What could be the problem?
Q. Hi antys i got a problem here. Here it goes. A week ago i had sex with my boyfriend and of course we used protection but my problem is since that day i always feel like i could pee. I'm not itchy or what but i have this feeling is irritating me. I ...
A. 8 April 2011: Just to add on... UTIs can happen anytime. Sec without peeing is not the only thing that causes that. I know I couple of people, including myself have mentioned the sex aspect of bladder infections.
I don't want you to feel scared to go to your ... (read in full...)
Does he really love his GF as much as he says he does? Or is he interested in me?
Q. Hello, I realized I basically fell in love with one guy. He has been in a relationship for 3 years now. From the begining he did not tell me about his girl friend,so I was talking to him as to a single good looking and nice guy. Then I found ou...
A. 8 April 2011: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLOmpgLmtP0
It happens enough to make a video out of.
Maybe it's not so bad with her, but he wants you too so he makes his life sound just a little more rough.
Or maybe he just feels trapped or comfortable.
... (read in full...)
We sleep over each other's houses. Is what I am doing wrong?
Q. I need advice from parents with older kids. I'm 19 years old, have a job, keep a 3.9 GPA in college. I also have a boyfriend. I'm a nice kid, I do what my parents ask most of the time and I don't do drugs, don't drink, I'm quite responsi...
A. 7 April 2011: I think that saying you are forced to stay over because it is too late to drive, is not honest. That's making an excuse. It only gets "too late to drive" because you allow it to. You can shut the movie off, wrap up the left overs, continue the c
c... (read in full...)
I'm itchy after sex. What could be the problem?
Q. Hi antys i got a problem here. Here it goes. A week ago i had sex with my boyfriend and of course we used protection but my problem is since that day i always feel like i could pee. I'm not itchy or what but i have this feeling is irritating me. I ...
A. 7 April 2011: You will have to get to a doctor to really know. Most of us aren't qualified medics and can't give you medical advice that should be taken for fact.
So i will just tell you that in my experience, it could be a urinary tract infection. This can... (read in full...)
Nothing I do is ever good enough for my parents....
Q. Nothing I do is ever good enough for my parents. Nothing I have ever done has gotten any sort of approval. Everything I do could always be improved, according to them. I get A's and all they have to say is, 'You didn't get an A*, it's not good ...
A. 7 April 2011: there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you. Of course, it's going to be hard for us to know because we don't know every detail behind everyone's point of of view, but what it looks like, is that your parents have very personal issues that ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend has broken my heart. I don't know how I am going to cope. Please help
Q. I just found out that my girlfriend of 3 years cheated on me 3 days before we took a trip to Texas to meet my family. We get back and she continues to go out every night (shes 21 Im 30). She comes home 3 nights ago wasted and refused to tell me ...
A. 7 April 2011: I understand. I really do. I feel that inside, I'm your age. I'm actually 21. I was once married to a guy who is the same age as me now. And that's when I realized, I am 30 at heart, he is still 21. He broke my heart. he had a daughter with me... (read in full...)
He tries to look at me when he thinks I'm not looking
Q. My ex-boyfriend broked up with me a few week ago. And at school I have a class with him and I ride the same bus with him. We haven't talked since he broked up with me, and during class and in the bus he tries to look at me without me knowing, does ...
A. 7 April 2011: I have had many reasons for looking at people.... 1. They're pretty 2. They're ugly 3. I'm thinking about them 4. I'm remembering something involving them 5. I'm zoned out and that's where my glance went automatically 6. I like them ... (read in full...)
My guy loves to give me some love down there. Does that make him a freak?
Q. In discussing how much he loves going down on me, he said: "That's when I take in how beautiful you are" What did he mean by that? Is this dude a freak?...
A. 2 April 2011: When a woman is feeling good from that particular act of sexual pleasure, her back may arch, her chest may stick out, her legs may stretch out, her eyes closed, her face overwhelmed with pleasure, her hands may wonder over herself or the man's hair ... (read in full...)
Anyone ever have a friend that eventually fell for you? Does it ever happen?
Q. Suppose you have been friends with someone for a long time (eg,months or years) and the person sees you as a friend but has never had romantic feelings for you. If you've been friends for a long time but this person doesn't have feelings for you...
A. 31 March 2011: My best friend of four years fell in love with me there at the end. It was a mess.. he already had a gf, I already had a bf. He said just after knowing me for so long and loving me as a friend, he just couldn't help but fall in love with me for ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my rebound with my first love and now I'm heart broken because she left
Q. hi agony aunts. my first love was my bff since kindergarden. she took my virginity. we were gf's for 5 years and dropped me for a firl she met at college. i was crushed to bits and got in a rebound relationship with another girl that fell head over ...
A. 31 March 2011: You were only stuck on your fist love because you didn't want to face that she had dropped you... then someone else... someone fresher drops you and you're attention is off your first gf and youre suddenly in love with your rebound? Don't you think ... (read in full...)
First Date & A mysterious Call
Q. So today I went on a really good *first* date with this guy I met recently. While walking together,around 10 PM, someone called him ..he said sorry to me then responded with "I cant talk now" (i dont remember what else he said but it was short),he ...
A. 31 March 2011: I did not get that he hung up the second time, but again... all that means is that he was out with you , focused on you, and couldn't take/finish the call. I really think you're making someone seem guilty before you have adequate back up.... (read in full...)
First Date & A mysterious Call
Q. So today I went on a really good *first* date with this guy I met recently. While walking together,around 10 PM, someone called him ..he said sorry to me then responded with "I cant talk now" (i dont remember what else he said but it was short),he ...
A. 31 March 2011: I thought that the one at 1AM was self explanatory, if someone needed him and he didn't want to ignore their call.. then of course he will call them back asap. If both of you are up at 1AM, then i'm sure he knows many other people who are as well. ... (read in full...)
First Date & A mysterious Call
Q. So today I went on a really good *first* date with this guy I met recently. While walking together,around 10 PM, someone called him ..he said sorry to me then responded with "I cant talk now" (i dont remember what else he said but it was short),he ...
A. 31 March 2011: His girl friend would not accept the answer "I can't talk right now." He would have gotten several more calls to his phone through out your date if that were the case.
It's way too early for to be assuming he's with someone else. It could ve... (read in full...)
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