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My boyfriend wants to have sex with a shemale.

Tagged as: Cheating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 May 2012) 13 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, *lores78 writes:

I don't know if I should worry or not. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10months. He is 20 almost 21 years old. And well...

My boyfriend wants to have sex with a shemale. The other day I found out that he's on craigslist looking to have sex with a shemale. He's also in another website called ----sex.com. In his email, he just gets replies from women (not shemales). He doesn't know I found out about the websites and pictures yet. Lately, he's been kind of distant from me. He doesn't hold me while we're sleeping even if I tried. He just turns the other way. He likes having anal sex a lot. Could he be bisexual? I would like some responses that will help me with this a lot.

I don't want him to cheat on me even though I know he's actually looking to have sex with them.

A little personal information: we have sex somewhat a lot. The sex is great.

View related questions: anal sex, shemale

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2012):

He is defiitely gay. Unless you feel like he is really the one and you want to spend the rest of your life with him, you should tell him that you found out and if he can't explain it, break up with him.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (15 May 2012):

Honeypie agony auntHe is looking for someone to cheat with and honestly I don't care HOW big boobs a "shemales" has.. it's STILL a DUDE with boobs. Seems like he wants to have sex with a man. And he thinks it's less "gay" if the dude has boobs. He could be bi-sexual or a "try-sexual" ( will try anything sexual).

Honey, get out now. It's only a matter of time before he curiosity wins. A guy who loves and respect his partner wouldn't be looking to hook up with questionable partner on craigslist or elsewhere.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (15 May 2012):

CindyCares agony aunt He may not be cheating on you yet, but you know he is taking steps to do it next week or next month or... whenever he can make it happen.

I don't see why are you concerned about his possible bisexuality, a cheater is a cheater whether he is straight, gay or bisexual.

I don't really believe that his mother would rat on him, but even if she does, what would that accomplish ? Would it make you un -cheated on, or un-cheateable on ?

It's very simple, if you require monogamy from a partner, this is not the right person for you.

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (15 May 2012):

Sorry, dear. But you're already trying to make excuses for him, you don't know anything for a fact unless you're with him 24/7. Just because you're at his house, doesn't mean he's not at someone else's house when he's supposed to be at work. Also, I wouldn't count on HIS mother to tell you anything. Good luck...you're gonna need it.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (15 May 2012):

N91 agony auntThis guy is actively seeking someone to cheat with, dump him immediately.

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A female reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth India +, writes (15 May 2012):

Foot-In-My-Mouth agony auntI think he watches too much porn. This entire shemale sex thing is an invention of the porn industry which has to come up with bizarre new notions to keep people hooked, irrespective of how much psychological damage this causes. Your boyfriend is actively planning to cheat on you, it doesn't matter that he hasn't done it yet (or so you think). Fulfilling some sick fantasy isn't an excuse for cheating. If he wants to do that, he should end this relationship with you and then have sex with shemales, hefemales or whatever else the sex industry can think up. But actively planning to cheat on you isn't something you should tolerate.

No mother on earth would favour a potential daughter-in-law over her own son, no matter how much she "loves" that girl. And what makes you think mothers actually know about their children's sex lives? They are usually clueless.

I think you should walk out on this cheater-to-be.

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (15 May 2012):

Jmtmj agony auntHang on... first off, since when have mothers been completely aware of their son/daughters intimate or dodgy activities.

Secondly, she's not going to betray her own son and tell you anything directly, no matter how much she may love you.

Sorry to be blunt. Its just it all sounds a little bit too... dodgy.

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (15 May 2012):

Jmtmj agony auntShort answer... get the hell out.

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A female reader, flores78 United States +, writes (15 May 2012):

flores78 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I know his mother would tell me right away if something fishy was going on. She loves me to death& she's told me that if he does something like that she would tell me.

&i know for a fact hes not cheating on me yet

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2012):

Thank you for the answers.

I know he hasn't cheated on me yet because I am always at his house. &his mother will tell me if any fishy thing was going on.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (15 May 2012):

YouWish agony auntCheating is cheating, whether he's in love with the person he's wanting to have sex with, or whether he wants anonymous fetish sex. Don't put up with that crap. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that he's already cheating on you. This sort of thing is risky. Would you be so confused if you got a medical report that you have herpes or worse?

Anonymous sex is risky. I'd dump him now.

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A female reader, PerhapsNot United States +, writes (15 May 2012):

PerhapsNot agony auntI am not sure what responses you're looking for OP. It's pretty obvious that he is planing to cheat on you IF he hasn't already. You have all the warning signs in front on you. Heck, you even have evidence. If you KNOW and you have SEEN that he is looking to have sex with people other than you, what more do you need to know to spur you to action?

Ask yourself this: do you want to share this man with other people, regardless of gender? Do you want to contract an STD? If I were you, I'd get checked out immediately and seriously think about what you want in a relationship. This has disaster written all over it.

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (15 May 2012):

Hello! He's looking to cheat on you regardless if you want him to or not. How do you know that he hasn't already? The kid obviously is in the closet, either for being homosexual or bisexual. You need to confront him and probably dump him before he gives you a disease.

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