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*lderthandirt agony aunt

*lderthandirt

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*lderthandirt's profile:

I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot.

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He feels there is no spark and he just wants to be alone to find himself. How should I act towards him? Has he moved on?

Q.   Hey everyone! I hope you could put some light into my situation. I started dating my coworker at work, in the beginning it was all perfect, i felt pursued he was so charming and really swept me off my feet. We went on many dates together and spen...

A.   6 October 2015: If I were you(I know..I'm not) I'd give him EXACTLY what he wants and leave him alone. Run every chance you get and leave this loser to his own devices.... (read in full...)

My partner is a virgin. She keeps stalling about starting our physical relationship. What is there to "think about"?

Q.   My partner nearly admitted to me that she is a virgin as I think she is as when I approached the subject of us taking our relationship a little further and asked did she want to stay the night with her replying with could she think about. What i...

A.   4 October 2015: Look here...A woman calls the shots here! You need to take a deep breath. Her needs are much more complicated than yours plus there's but one chance to have the first time and then it's gone. I don't blame her for wanting a Real comitment before ... (read in full...)

I thought the date went well but he just wants to be friends?

Q.   Just another sad love song So I met this guy, Pete, through mutual friend and then we stayed in touch via social media and texting for maybe a month I was at a town a little while. Good connections, nothing sexual, lots in common. Finally we mee...

A.   1 October 2015: Nothing to be confused about. If he were interested in a relationship with you he would demonstrate it by asking you out again That has absolutely nothing to do with your appearence or your personality. For all you know he could be interested in ... (read in full...)

Should I even try to make a long distance relationship work?

Q.   I met a guy a couple of years back due to work, but have since moved to another state. I've always liked him, I'm sure he knew after a while, but at the time he was in a relationship. Recently he got in contact with me out of the blue, but sin...

A.   30 September 2015: My experience is: An LDR is nearly impossible to maintain but does lend itself to some major fantasys.... (read in full...)

Is it weird that I'm not interested in dating?

Q.   I guess I don't quite know how to put this in the form of a question. Basically I'm just curious if it's really so bad to not have an interest in dating? I have told myself that I'm most likely asexual although I'm attracted to men, j...

A.   27 September 2015: No, it's not strange to want to avoid the very complex "dance" that is involved with dating. Being alone has more merit than trying to make conversation with strangers that probably only want one thing from you anyway. Be proud of your solitude.... (read in full...)

I'm still dealing with the emotional trauma from a past rape but my boyfriend hasn't been understanding. Should I leave?

Q.   2 years ago I was raped and recently I received a lot of compensation for what happened to me. I left my job I was in after I was raped as I worked in a Pawnbrokers and I had a lot of regular customers who were men, lots of them would try flirting ...

A.   27 September 2015: the short answer is yes...if this lil' dude cannot understand the trauma you are trying to get through then he's as useless as the creeps that raped you.Any man that can't understand this is not a man worth being with. Sounds like you've got a minor ... (read in full...)

My daughter spent most of her inheritance from her grandfather on silly things and is now asking me for money to cover her education. Should I tell her how I feel about the situation?

Q.   Around February of this year, my 20 year old daughter got about 20k from her grand father when he passed away. Now our family doesn't really come from a wealthy background, so when she got this money I was very happy for her and tried to encoura...

A.   24 September 2015: yep, there's a bunch of Esops Fables she should read. Not only should you let her know what you think bUT she needs to know the power of self-reliance.... (read in full...)

I don't want to seem mean to my new neighbors but feel they are asking too much of me

Q.   About 4 months ago, a new family moved in across the street from me and the mother seemed to be struggling moving boxes into her house so I went over to both help her and welcome her into the neighborhood. I met her and her 3 children and the...

A.   24 September 2015: I would do as follows: give her a printout of your schedule and ask her to try to fit her ride requests to coincide with your normal routine so as to not have to overlap your life with her needs. She may get the message and get her car fixed. In the ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong? Fling with Ex girlfriend's mum and she wants more?

Q.   I recently had a fling with my ex-girlfriends' Mum and she wants to see me on a regular basis. Is it wrong? We're both single... I'm 24 and she's 41 and divorced. I went out with my ex-girlfriend for just over a year and during that time I a...

A.   24 September 2015: Fantasy is not harmful but if there's an ounce of truth in this then...Yep it's wrong on several levels but it sounds way too much like a fantasy to take very seriously. need to get a grip my friend.... (read in full...)

How do I show my boyfriend my way is the best option? I want to clear my debts before we live together

Q.   hi everyone. no 'attacking' please . ive been with my boyfriend for a while now and we have discussed future plans what we both want i already have a teen son and my boyf has no kids . at the beginning i was all up for having another baby but...

A.   23 September 2015: Your boyfriend sounds like a dunce to me. I wouldn't try to convince him of anything other than a seperation.... (read in full...)

Why might a guy take a long time to orgasm?

Q.   Hi aunts and uncles. This question feels quite weird because I've never really heard it before. I'm used to hearing about men who come too quickly, but not those who take a very very long time. I slept with a new guy for the first time last night. H...

A.   22 September 2015: A man's ability to "hold off" is usually seen as an atribute. If you want a quicker response then just tell hime. Once a guy hears his girl say."Now,now" he'll usually comply.... (read in full...)

I don't have a college degree, is this why I'm not being hired?

Q.   This isn't a relationship question but I could use some advice. I was laid off from my job of 4 years almost a year ago and since then have had no luck finding a new job. I believe I have a great resume, I have put in applications both on...

A.   21 September 2015: I too never got a formal degree and had one heck of a time finding a job. However when I did get the job I wanted it had NOTHING to do with or without a degree. I luckily found a job that advertised for an Operations and maintenance manuals editor. ... (read in full...)

Why do guys give the promiscuous flirty girls so much attention?

Q.   Do guys usually like the flirty and promiscuous type of girls? I need some advice because I hate to say I'm a little jealous of this girl I know who gets so much attention from my guy friends and just a lot of guys in general. She sleeps around wi...

A.   20 September 2015: The short answer is: No but the guys enjoy the attention so they are drawn to them initially. It's shallow though and most guys will soon be off by themselves later.... (read in full...)

Is this normal behavior for a 5 year relationship?

Q.   Been in a 5 year relationship with my girlfreind soon to be wife (now not so sure) She is a good girl and perfect gf iv had in a while, but there seems to be just one problem, her emotional and verbal physical abuse towards me when she feels ...

A.   15 September 2015: If even part of what you say is true then you are about to marry the wife from hell and should back out of this BS as soon as humanly possible.Good luck ,boy you are going down a rabbit hole if you stay with this one.... (read in full...)

My friends all have better lives than me!

Q.   Why is everybody looks so happy with their life although i know they might have their own problems but i feel like a loser seeing my friends life. Im 25 yo. Have a longterm boyfriend that proposed to marry me but im still waiting for him to be mo...

A.   8 September 2015: My "take" on your question is that you sound depressed and sad about something that isn't really a problem but you think it is. Try looking at your question from a different point of view.Best wishes... (read in full...)

I'd like to rekindle the friendship

Q.   Hi So I would like to get in touch with a friend who was best friends in primary school. We then went out separate ways in high school. O am friends with her on a social networking site so it's not hard for me to get in touch with her. We haven't ...

A.   7 September 2015: A very trickey proposition indeed. Old friendships are great and rekindling them is even better BUT... You must know that life has changed both of you and your memory of the status of that old friendship may be totally different than thiers. Life ... (read in full...)

My parents are so critical of me and it really bothers me

Q.   Hi agony aunts, So like a ex team mate of mine is leaving to the US. And like I don't really like him because when I was 10 or 11, he kissed me, he basically stole my first kiss. Since then, I didn't really like talking or hanging our with him and...

A.   21 August 2015: If it were me, I'd try to ignore the whole thing and go about my business. You can't control or influence what others (parents included) think. They can think whatever they want. In the end it's only what you know and think about yourself that is ... (read in full...)

I really don't want to be the victim in this relationship

Q.   I have three questions to ask. Is it inappropriate to do anything sexual on a first date? Can a serious relationship be determined on a first date? Can anything serious come out of a relationship which was based on the foundation of sex? I ha...

A.   21 August 2015: Yes...No...Yes and Nope... (read in full...)

My girlfriend of 7 months will not have sex nor let me see her naked

Q.   My partner will not let me see her naked and as of yet we have not had any form of sexual contact and this is after us being together for over 7 months and each and everytime I try to talk to her about this she starts to cry and tells me that her ...

A.   20 August 2015: It isn't depession to be a virgin. It's a badge of honor. Learn to respect her. If you love her, you'll let her be her a not the fantasy girl you have in your brain.... (read in full...)

When he's had a few drinks he divulges far too much about our relationship to others. How do I respond to this disrespect?

Q.   Hi so I've been kinda "seeing" this man for a few months now, his a lot older than me, we are both single may I add, and at first it was just a friendship thing, we enjoyed each others company I'm not looking for a relationship. Then one night to...

A.   20 August 2015: A good comeback would be to say,"If you keep that up, I'll tell folks how small your penis is." That is going to be the end of his tall tales!... (read in full...)

I don't want children but my boyfriend does, can our relationship work?

Q.   I am a 28 year old woman who has been with my partner for over 4 years. This is the best relationship I've ever had and I love him dearly and I'm very happy. Him and I have a bit of an issue however. He wants children while I do not. Whe...

A.   20 August 2015: Ibet you know someone with small kids. If so, let hubby hang out with them for a while...he'll get over it.... (read in full...)

Does anyone know what my boyfriend's puzzling statement means?

Q.   Hi, i had a conversation with my boyfriend about love and he said i appreciate your interest in me but in this matters i become like st thomas the only difference is that i also want to see myself. Any clue what he means....

A.   20 August 2015: It may be some awkward reference to St. Thomas's "Rule of Faith". you might want to google the Catholic references to how the rules of faith are paramount to true beliefs. I can't imagine exactly what his intent is by this reference other than ... (read in full...)

Is this guy a keeper or a loser?

Q.   Hello. I met a guy over the internet who is said to be a guy i used to go to school with his cousin. It started by me seeing the guy on my ex classmate's profile picture then i asked him to hook me up. He gave me his number then it went on from the...

A.   18 August 2015: "our relationship"?? What relationship? Whoa! You need to start all over on this guy. All you have is a common friend.... (read in full...)

The sex is bad and he mistreats me. Walk away?

Q.   So, I have been seeing this guy he is really great we had our Rockey moments, the only thing is he has a really small penis It is about 2-3 inches. Him and I had sex once but it was really bad he was embarrassed, that his penis kept slipping out of ...

A.   16 August 2015: Yep! you should have already walked away some time ago.... (read in full...)

Is There Any Point Dating If I'm Only Staying Somewhere Temporarily?

Q.   I have a temporary job which will last for 6 months to a year (depending on my progress) in a certain city. It's an OK city, but I am moving somewhere else (on the other side of the country) after I finish and can afford to live somewhere a bit ...

A.   16 August 2015: One of the sadest questions ever. With a defeatist attitude like this i'd guess there really is no point in dating. You sound like the relationship with the job is your partner, so why worry?... (read in full...)

Am I being unreasonable for feeling like this? Do you think I should ask him to at least meet me at the entrance?

Q.   Hello Dear Cupids I have been seeing a man as just friends for about three months, we only see each other every couple of weeks or so as we live about 90 miles apart. We've been out for meals and outings and he's always been very attentive - flow...

A.   13 August 2015: If he's a real gentleman, he would have already asked to meet at the entrance since I suspect he must know by now of your trepedations about going in alone. Since he hasn't suggested it by now, you should suggest it by saying. "You know how shy I am ... (read in full...)

I don't feel special anymore ever since boyfriend and I have been talking about threesomes

Q.   Really need a lot of advice as there is no one I can talk to about this! My bf and I are happy and together 2yrs. We have a very active and great sex life. The best either of us experienced. We regularly do kinky stufr or I dress up etc. My bf has ...

A.   13 August 2015: Threesomes are a bad idea...You need to avoid talking about the subject.... (read in full...)

Why do most guys like big boobs so much?

Q.   Why do most men (especially guys my age...) like big boobs so much? As I see it, it's just extra fat! And last time I checked, for men, too much fat is bad. I have small breasts and feel so inadequate. Breasts are so "out there" (unlike a penis - ...

A.   12 August 2015: That's a strictly personal like/dislike. I for one think they(big boobs) are highly over-rated. I prefer the other body parts over boobs anyway. Too broad a question. It's like asking why some like Merlot over Cabernet.... (read in full...)

Am I being stupid? I just feel like I've worked really hard and I have tons of holiday days left to take from work and I just don't want to sit at home!

Q.   So I don't want this to come across as being very spoilt or like I'm entitled but me and my other half of 4 years have been saving for a deposit for our own place, this year after having a special event on at work I have been working 12 days on and ...

A.   12 August 2015: Go by yourself.. You could go to an exitic place and just watch TV or go out to eat. Get away from the routine Be alive!... (read in full...)

Is there a chance that in fulfilling these fantasies I could also get a broken heart?

Q.   Ok.. How can I sum this up... My fiancé and I are head over heels in love with each other, we have been together for 4 years. We have made it through some pretty hard times, the first year of our relationship, which in the end made us so much ...

A.   11 August 2015: It probably will break your heart. Fantasy is fine as a fantasy but when the real world colides with it nothing good can come of it. Don't act on tese fantasies. They will corrupt the goodness you have right now.... (read in full...)

I'm not funny, are girls put off by guys like me?

Q.   Girls say all the time that they want guys who are funny, well the truth is, that not everybody can make everybody laugh and be the life of the party. Some guys like me are not funny or sarcastic and generally don't have a sense of humor. I'll n...

A.   10 August 2015: Don't get all wound up over this. There are millions of women with NO sense of humor that would love to be around you.... (read in full...)

I'm pregnant with my FWB partner and he says abortion is the only answer

Q.   I posted on here a few weeks ago about a friends-with-benefits situation I have with my ex who I'm still in love with. Well I just found out I'm pregnant- he doesn't want it. Says it irresponsible of me to even think about keeping it seeing a...

A.   10 August 2015: Simple answers to complicated questions are everywhere; If there's noone wanting to parent this new life then by all means let us put it up for adoption so that the child can have a parent that loves it. That is the "option" that your really smart ... (read in full...)

Why do married men fancy me? And why do I respond?  

Q.   I am a 40 year old woman.. Separated from an alcoholic husband, no children but I work and manage on my own. I also live on my own. Of late I have a lot of interest from married men. This is the second one in 3 years and I like them as friends ...

A.   9 August 2015: All men are always "looking around" just to see what (or who) is out there. Surely you've heard that men have a permenant lustfull nature that is fantisizing about being with other women. Most do not act on our natural instincts due to self-control. ... (read in full...)

Falling in love with a girl at work, she texts that she loves me but then says she doesn't mean anything by it??

Q.   I am a female an I am falling so in love with this girl I work with! Lately we have started texting an she will always say I love you an An send emojis with hearts when she hugs me I feel like I just melt I feel like it's pretty clear she feels the ...

A.   6 August 2015: Lots of folks say "I love you" as a term of endearment as opposed to a "come on" Assume it's a term of endearment and go from there.... (read in full...)

Who should pay in these situations?

Q.   Hello everyone, I would like to know who should pay in the following situations: 1. My BF's friend, whom I am not friends with, invites us to a lavish wedding. BF and other friends attending the wedding agreed to pay $100 USD per person. Shou...

A.   5 August 2015: what in the world costs so much? This lavish lifestyle is hard to relate to much less try to figure out who pays for what.My advice would be to announce that such spending is alien to your reference points and perhaps a more frugal set of friends ... (read in full...)

How can I convince my girlfriend that my sexual needs do matter?

Q.   In college I had a friend named "Jon." He was a stage actor and while he was not conventionally handsome he was a leading man in the style of Gérard Depardieu. He was a decent guy and he had a lot a women interested in him at various points. ...

A.   5 August 2015: I could not place Mr Depardieu so I "googled" him and now with my memory refreshed. I have a vision of a pompous actor that can tell tall tales with conviction to inflate his own self worth. Ergo, I wouldn't place a lot of credulity in his tales of ... (read in full...)

Conservative parents.What should I do? I don't want to lie to my parents about visiting my boyfriend

Q.   I am an Asian girl in a long distance relationship with a European guy. The relationship has been great and we communicate often despite the distance. We lived together for 4 months while I was in Europe and our current plan is for me to finish m...

A.   5 August 2015: Asian cultural differences are highly respectable. That's why the asain cultures have survived for millions of years. "western" cultures are vastly different(corrupted,some might say) But the universal norm is respect. You must(not should) show ... (read in full...)

Does forgiving and staying indicate that a person is a fool, or weak?

Q.   Hi Dear Cupid Community, You've helped me out so much in the past so here goes. A few months ago my relationship broke down, we both lost respect, started dreading coming home to each other and started to avoid each other. We both had disgustin...

A.   5 August 2015: Not a fool. Just a "normal" bump in the road. We've all been there. Why are you questioning yourself? It's not foolish to have a big blow up and then gradually resume a loving relationship. No one seems to be at fault. Why look for problems when ... (read in full...)

Is there any hope for me? Cannot seen to connect with women

Q.   Hi there, i've tried different methods to meet women both online and in personal but i keep failing, will my luck improve at some point in time or am i doomed to live to be old and alone? is there any hope for me to make sure this doesn't happ...

A.   4 August 2015: Meeting online is a waste of time..nothing good can come of it to fall for empty words on a screen. In person is easy, just walk up and say hi! The conversation will evolve ... (read in full...)

Am I justified in feeling hurt by his remark,''he wished he'd known me when I was younger'' ??

Q.   I am in a long distance relationship with my bf. During phone call he mentioned he is looking at my old pics and fantasizing on my photos. He said he wished he knew me before when i was younger. I know i was slimmer before. During that time I fr...

A.   4 August 2015: Not to be a pain in the backside..but it could simply be he thinks you were a real cute girl and wishes he could have been with you for a much longer time. It's always all about looks or weight. It could be that if you two were an item back then he ... (read in full...)

Worried I'll disappoint him. How can I explain to him that I'm not very experiened? That laziness during lovemaking is not the issue.

Q.   So I have this guy that I have been seeing for a few months now! Its not a LDR but we do live almost two hours from each other and with work commitments and other things we have only seen each other three times but we talk every single day! W...

A.   2 August 2015: Firstly, There is NOTHING that can be considered "work" during sex....it's all pleasure. If he sees it as "work" then perhaps he should look for another "job"... (read in full...)

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