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*lderthandirt agony aunt

*lderthandirt

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*lderthandirt's profile:

I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot.

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Am I a lousy lover for my wife?

Q.   I am 48 y.I. married for 8 years. I met my wife when we both were 40. The only way that she can reach the orgasm with me is with oral sex. She always told me that she was unable to reach an orgasm troough intercourse. I know that she has had 28 p...

A.   5 January 2017: Sounds like the answer may be yes. she may "need" more than any one guy can provide.... (read in full...)

How can I know if I'll be open to a boyfriend being sexually polygamous?

Q.   I don't have a BF right now, and I have actually never had a boyfriend before. However, I realized that there are many men out there that cheat, not because they don't love their GF enough, (or so I think), but because they just love to have variety ...

A.   14 December 2016: This is a catch 22 question. Yeah some men like a variety so does that mean you should "adjust" to that way of life or just remain single? There are some men who are just fine as monogamous. You just need the patience to find the right guy . Why ... (read in full...)

How can I keep safe on New Year's Eve when I will be alone?

Q.   I am going to the heart of my city to see theater show on NYE, am catching a bus due to traffic.. is this safe as a single woman alone.? I am alone caching a bus home after the show at 10.30-11pm, before midnights events/fireworks etc.. there will...

A.   10 December 2016: The high price of parking could be the price of safety. The city(any city) is wrought with dangers. I don't blame you for feeling unsafe. Why not drive and pay the parking fee. If you can legally carry a firearm or mace do that too. Like my ... (read in full...)

Is it time to leave this relationship? I'm starting to feel like a roommate or a good friend

Q.   29 F dating 29 M for approximately 1.5 years. My relationship has been rocky from the start. My boyfriend has always pushed the limit with flirting with girls or talking about them. Last month he texted a girl to send him pictures while o...

A.   10 December 2016: The obvious is too obvious. This moron is snot the perfect soulmate you desire or deserve. A man should never have to promise he'll grow up and behave. He sounds like an immature teenager.... (read in full...)

Will watching X-rated movies affect my married life?

Q.   hey I am indulged in bad sex activities like watching X movies and doing all that stuff …… I want to know will it affect my married life if I continue to do so. please help me...

A.   10 December 2016: If you think for one second that anything you see in porn represents reality then you could be setting yourself up for a major let down. These x-rated movies are pure fantasy. Just like a cartoon where bugs bunny gets shot by Elmer Fudd but is able ... (read in full...)

Love-bombing. How long does it last? Will he replicate his love bombing actions in any future relationships ?

Q.   How long does love-bombing by a narcissist last for? My dad is a narcissist (I believe) and he cheated and left my mother for a younger woman. I've heard that there are three stages of a relationship with a narcissist - 1. 'love-bombing', 2....

A.   10 December 2016: Leopards don't change their spots. You might want to just stay out of this though lest you get hurt.... (read in full...)

Was her comment to her girlfriend about the dick pic normal?

Q.   my wife got a picture of a dick texted to her from her girlfriend. She answered the text by saying the dick looked really good , once you get that dick you will never get it out of your mind , you can use him just for that dick . I never heard her ...

A.   10 December 2016: although in may seem out of character for her. I'm pretty sure women have a fantasy life as well as their public life. Much the same as the way men speak between each other (locker room talk) and the way they talk in public. I think it could be ... (read in full...)

Is he a once in a lifetime find??

Q.   Okay so I need some opinions. I was in an extremely verbally and emotionally abusive relationship ( he was the abuser) with my ex husband of almost 7 years. I finally realized what was happening and that he could not change so in July we made the...

A.   10 December 2016: You need to realize the clown you married way back when was an idiot and not all guys are abusers. In fact most are mellow and loving. Put the past in the rear view mirror and focus on the future... (read in full...)

Think he used my coat to masturbate

Q.   I recently baby sat for a 15 year old boy while his parents went out for the night. He was mainly up in his room. I came upstairs to see if he needed anything I poked my head around his door and noticed he was on his computer looking at porn. ...

A.   10 December 2016: Yeah, boys will be boys BUT, this is not one of those times. He showed total disrespect and should be challenged on it. I feel he should be shamed about this action so as to avoid his growing up into a possible problem for some other female at a ... (read in full...)

I trust my boyfriend, but this girl makes me a little nervous. Opinions?

Q.   My boyfriend is going out all day with his "bestfriend" who is a girl today (they've never done that before but they have hung out) and he never told me about it or what they were going to do. I found out because I looked at what he was typing o...

A.   10 December 2016: Jealous is but a symptom of this situation. He is either testing you to see how far he can go without you going all freaky or he's just plain stupid and has no sensitivity to your feelings which is a lack of respect. AND if he doesn't respect you ... (read in full...)

Am I a lousy lover for my wife?

Q.   I am 48 y.I. married for 8 years. I met my wife when we both were 40. The only way that she can reach the orgasm with me is with oral sex. She always told me that she was unable to reach an orgasm troough intercourse. I know that she has had 28 p...

A.   9 December 2016: I doubt you are not right for each other. I suspect you are going through an insecurity that is quite common among men. We all want to be the best for our partner. If oral gets her off then give her oral, Forget the squirting part. That is usually ... (read in full...)

He doesn't believe I'm innocent

Q.   My boyfriend is accusing me of cheating and I'm honestly not I've even ask to give him a lie detector test, one minute he's down for it then the next he doesn't,he says he knows everything that i did cause he's a scorpio and he's very intuitive... ...

A.   9 December 2016: Trust is a tricky thing. If he can't trust your word then he'll always suspect the worst. You may want to look around for a guy that takes you for your word.... (read in full...)

Is my sexual wish too much to ask?

Q.   Dear aunts, I have a gf who i love. I'm straight but a like girls to play with my arse. I just like the sensation. I'm afraid if i ask my gf to try a dildo or a strap on on me will make me less desirable for her. What do you think?...

A.   9 December 2016: Your fears are likely justified. That sounds too kinky for the average person. My advice would be to do a new self evaluation to decide once and for all if you are bi or straight. If you are confused just imagine how she'd feel to be asked to be a ... (read in full...)

Feelings for my late husband's brother

Q.   Hey, I am in a messy situation and not sure what to do at this point. I would like to make it less complicated, and I have no clue how to proceed. My husband passed away almost over a year ago from an accident. I was fortunate enough to be lov...

A.   9 December 2016: If I'm not mistaken, In biblical times a man's brother was to take the widow in and later marry her. But that was then and this is now. It wouldn't be unusual to have feelings for him since he probably has many similarities to your late husband and ... (read in full...)

A threesome with my wife and another male was my fantasy. So why couldn't I get hard looking at my wife?

Q.   How would you explain this? What I am about to say was totally MY idea, even though my wife was very into it once it got started...My wife and I were in a male friends house initiating a threesome with him...up to this point you could say it was ...

A.   8 December 2016: Fraud said we have an ego and an id. Your subconscious is punishing you for letting your id step on your ego .After you pop back into reality and realize fantasy is the opposite of reality you may find inner peace again and body functions will ... (read in full...)

My new boyfriend likes to 'be in control' sexually

Q.   hey everyone . Ive just started seeing my new boyfriend we spoke about lots of stuff how we like and dislike things in bed . He told me he likes being ' in control ' in the bedroom slight bondage stuff and various other stuff i havent tried . ...

A.   8 December 2016: The Warning sirens are deafening.. This guy is TROUBLE and you need to reevaluate your relationship with him NOW. I can see no light at the end of this tunnel lest it be a train. No one should be "in control" in a sexual relationship. There should ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend is turning 22 and it worries me

Q.   I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 21. He is turning 22 in march and for some reason that scares me. We've been dating over a year and are very committed to eachother however I feel nervous and I don't understand why. I've never dated somebody this old ...

A.   7 December 2016: Years don't mean much at your age group. It's the levels of maturity that levels the playing field. it can lead him to become more interested in older girls that drink with him, etc. But fear is useless. Relax and see what happens.... (read in full...)

I like the boy, and I don't want to lose my friends.

Q.   Hello,Im 16 years old.Me and my friends are like a close team and we are close to each other. We are really often going out and having an amazing time. Im the newest member in the "gang". They are trying to keep the "love" stuff outside of the team ...

A.   7 December 2016: Who's in CONTROL? The "gang" sounds like a bunch of control freaks that is limiting your choices. Gangs can fall into a group-think trap. My advice is to forgo the gang in favor of self respect and independent thinking. Sure hanging out with a ... (read in full...)

Am I in love with a creep? Should I get out now?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for over two years. We have travelled the world together and have always been very happy. We have spoken about getting engaged and where we will settle down to raise our family. He has always treated me with respect ...

A.   7 December 2016: I agree, he does sound like a creep. At a minimum he has a hidden side that is unsettling to you. Ergo, good times traveling or not. I'd leave the dude to his life in cyber-hell... (read in full...)

'I have given that threesome thing a thought.'

Q.   Hello. Long story short. I'm divorced and I started an affair with a colleague. She's young and energetic. She once suggested me to bring a close friend of hers -whom I know personally quite well and is like a friend to me - into our sexual relation ...

A.   6 December 2016: Instead of Russian Roulette your odds go down the more partners you have with all that's out there in the forms of STDs I'd try to avoid multiple partners if I were you.... (read in full...)

Could his tongue be different?

Q.   This may sound a bit of a strange thing to say but is it possible for people to have big tongues and this would affect them kissing. I've just started seeing this man and when we kissed it felt like he had a massive tongue which made kissing a bit ...

A.   6 December 2016: Possibly the strangest question of the month. Everyone is different size wise. If it is larger than normal you might like it when he goes down on you.... (read in full...)

Exactly what is it he is asking, when he asks, "what do you want?"

Q.   I really really really like this guy. We've been seeing each other and talking and everything is wonderful. He asked me what I want a few times. In fact he said he wants me to think of what is it I want in the next few weeks..And I have no idea what ...

A.   6 December 2016: We men NEVER know what a woman "wants" As much as women love to share their feelings they rarely discuss the simpler things that a man could do to make her happier. Also, since he's a man and I'm a man he might just being asking what you'd like for ... (read in full...)

Lack of confidence has put sex on the shelf

Q.   I've been dating a guy now for about 5 months and everything is going really well; however I'm feeling incredibly guilty at the moment because, although we have been intimate a few times, we haven't had sex yet (this is when is starts to get ...

A.   5 December 2016: IN a way yes; I think everyone has self image issues; For me(as a male) size is an issue my spouse has been with men much more well endowed than I and I know because she told me. I just had to get past it by assuming that I'm better at other st... (read in full...)

I just found out my boyfriend's best female friend does porn to pay for college

Q.   My boyfriends best friend is a girl which I've always been ok with because she was dating one of his friends and my boyfriend says that even though she is attractive, he doesn't find her attractive. however I've recently found out that she does porn ...

A.   5 December 2016: Sure let him know how you feel. Tell him you'd rather she got a job as a server at a fast food joint making less money then you'd feel more secure.... (read in full...)

I don't want to be played. Is he playing me? ?

Q.   ok i have been dating this guy, we both r still speaking hw says he likes me and has told his parents about me the night after the date I found him on an online dating site at 2am I have been online before that and he hasn't been online as ...

A.   17 October 2016: "Findiing" a guy on the web is like finding a prince in Yemena that wants to send you a million dollars if yo send him all your personal information. Get a grip and let a guy find you in person.... (read in full...)

My husband expects me to work full time and perform all of the household chores

Q.   My husband gets angry at me for stupid things. He wants me to be the traditional 50's wife, to cook, to clean, to do laundry and all that. I'm okay with most of that to a point; I would be more than willing to do it every day if I didn't work. My ...

A.   17 October 2016: "Rekindle" WHAT? he's an idiot that has zero respect for you if he treats you the way you present in the question. If this were the 1800's you'd understand what it was like for thousands of women trapped into what can only be described as slavery. I ... (read in full...)

What's the best way to tidy up down there?

Q.   Im worried i have too much hair down there that when my boyfriend sees it hes going to be put off. Im quite young but im getting to that stage in my relationship, i dont care for your judgement about my age, where my boyfriend is touching me. But ...

A.   17 October 2016: Natural is best shaved "down there" looks weird in my opinion Don't fret over what HE thinks If HE wants something other than natural maybe he's a freak that wants an inflatable doll.... (read in full...)

He's not in the least interested so why does he want me in his life?

Q.   Hey everyone. a few month ago i went on a date with a guy we then decided to be in a relationship . long story short he wasted my time made excuses not to see me and wasted my time i said its over and dumped him . he wanted to be friends so i kep...

A.   14 October 2016: I'd suggest he's telling the truth as he sees it and my advice to you would be to exit the "relationship" you need to find YOUR own truth forget him. Good luck... (read in full...)

Am I wrong for feeling that I'm not getting enough sex? I am frequently jealous of people who have sex

Q.   I lost my virginity at 22 and have been a late bloomer but enjoy sex a lot. I am very selective too. But I feel like I am not getting enough sex? I am picky and have had few relationships, just a few lovers but that fizzled out because we weren...

A.   14 October 2016: CINDY CARES is right on the money!... (read in full...)

27 and still looking for the guy who wont pressure me for sex!

Q.   Hi. I just ended a year long relationship with someone. One of the main issues was that we have different points of views on sex. He told me that it is very strange for someone my age (mid to late 20s) to be a virgin. I know that is true, but is it ...

A.   12 October 2016: Well, he was correct you are a rarity but don't give up on men just because he had an unrealistic expectation. Your abstinence will "pay off" when the right guy emerges. He will be so respectful for your decision to wait. It is better to be ... (read in full...)

Are there any safety concerns in being a nudist?

Q.   When I am home alone, I enjoy walking around completely nude. For me, there is nothing sexual about it, I just don't like wearing clothes. I am just wondering if this is a sign of something wrong with me mentality or is normal for some people to ...

A.   12 September 2016: Do not fry food. Keep the shades closed declaw the cat. that's about it. have fun!... (read in full...)

I trust my boyfriend but I'm also afraid of being hurt

Q.   My fiance is a personal trainer and he is crushing on one of his clients. As it is a professional relationship, I don't think anything would happen. However, we met that way initially and I'm so jealous... I work in the same building - on a ...

A.   12 September 2016: Your instincts are always way ahead of your cognitive recognition of a potential threat. if your "secret voice" is trying to warn you listen to it. It is very possible even though you don't want to admit it that he can and probably will cheat on ... (read in full...)

Will I ever measure up to his ex?

Q.   I've been dating a nice guy for 4 months now. I really have a lot of feelings for him and we have a great connection. There is a big issue though. He got out of a serious 7 year relationship about 6 months before we met. I knew about this from ...

A.   30 May 2016: he's right no one can replace her why try?... (read in full...)

He is not the ideal choice, but I love him!

Q.   Hello aunts! I broke up with my bf a year ago. People who love me dont like him anymore because he could have cheated on me (not sure, however proofs led to break up). Though we broke up for the public, we have been meeting and talking. The relation...

A.   30 May 2016: I assume you have heard about the rarity of a leopard changing his spots? Your BF is best viewed in the rear view mirror.... (read in full...)

How do I stop saying the wrong thing and convince H that I love her ?

Q.   I've been dating H for five months and it's just gotten weird... With like all these things where she gets mad at me. First time, my friends said I could have been nicer about it but I think she was over sensitive. She got her braces adjusted ...

A.   24 May 2016: There's only one safe answer to any "how do I look?" questions; "You always look beautiful to me"... (read in full...)

I should go at all?

Q.   So I really liked this guy, who at first liked me too, but who now has feelings for my best friend instead. My best friend isn't into him in that way because she has someone she already really likes but on my end it still kind of hurts and is weird...

A.   11 May 2016: Why put yourself through this agony? Just stay home.... (read in full...)

My in-laws are making my life a misery. I need advice on how to deal with this, please?

Q.   Hi all, can anyone give me some advice on my partners parents, because I feel like giving up. I have been with my man for 3 years now and we live together, and are extremely happy together, I am older than my man by 12 years but it's not a big d...

A.   11 May 2016: Ok it's obvious his mom doesn't like you all that much. So why not pose this to him? either return to life as it was before they invaded your lives or he can find a gal that mommy dearest "approves of"... (read in full...)

Am I over-reacting? Is this girl trying to cause trouble?

Q.   Hi my boyfriend and I are both in our 30's. We have been together a few years. There is one particular woman I have been having an issue with for a couple of years. I don't know their relationship, I suspect he cheated on me with her though he ...

A.   11 May 2016: Ahhh, social media strikes again! The _itch needs to be stoped by your guy friend not you.... (read in full...)

How would my old high school teacher interpret this letter?

Q.   Does this letter to a teacher sound good? Does it seem too touchy or weird? How would it make my old teacher feel? Dear [Name of Teacher], Looking back, my impression of you was that you were very thoughtful. Your demeanor was both welcome and supp...

A.   7 May 2016: While I think it is very nice to think of a teacher like you seem to. However, if this teacher is hyper sensitive he or she may misinterpret this as a "come-on" from a student with a latent crush. It depends on the relationship you had with this ... (read in full...)

Why won’t he help me around the house?

Q.   Hi everyone I am just trying to make sense of things. My boyfriend (together for 4 years) lost his job and came to live with me while looking for another. I paid all the bills including his child's (not my child) school for 6 months. He got another ...

A.   7 May 2016: A relationship is a 50-50 partnership . If he can't or won't pick up after himself or earn some money or at least wash dishes once in a while. Then you don't have a relationship you have a large teenager living with you.... (read in full...)

I'm not Barbie enough. What's the answer?

Q.   Hi, I know this sounds like a stupid question but I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he is obsessed with Barbie type looking women. If a woman with long blonde hair walks past he stares at her till she's out of sight. I'm the opposite with ...

A.   7 May 2016: Superficial is as superficial does...Looking is a man's favorite past time. Sorry but we men are weak when it comes to looking at beauty. A beautiful woman is hard not to look at. Cut him some slack. I'm sure he looks at you with the same ... (read in full...)

Why do I have this school girl type of crush?

Q.   I have a boyfriend but have a secret crush on a man that sometimes comes into my workplace.i also see him out and about regularly. It has been a bit of an obsession of mine for about six months now. I am literally crazy about this guy although I ...

A.   5 May 2016: Nothing is wrong here we all feel that rush of secret crush from time to time just be careful and don't act on it. Once the "secret" part is gone it is no longer a crush and you'll not like what happens next just let the secret remain a secret so ... (read in full...)

My husband expects me to work full time and perform all of the household chores

Q.   My husband gets angry at me for stupid things. He wants me to be the traditional 50's wife, to cook, to clean, to do laundry and all that. I'm okay with most of that to a point; I would be more than willing to do it every day if I didn't work. My ...

A.   5 November 2013: the traditional 50's position was what you should have opted for. If that meant his lazy butt had to go out and(heaven forbid) be a traditional 50's husband that brought home the bacon. I think I would have stood my ground and told old couch boy ... (read in full...)

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