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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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We have Skype online sex regularly. He is my first cousin and separated from his wife. Is this OK?
Q. Im having skype sex with my first cousin. Im 34, he's 32. I just got out of a 10 year relationship 6 mths ago, and been feeling very sexually frustrated. He's separated from his wife for 3 years now. He lives in Canada, and im from Cali. We ...
A. 4 February 2017: "Is this OK?" What do you want to know? Is this normal? -NO. it's dumb! Is this legal? I suppose, heck in some states it's probably considered the best of both worlds. I think it's dumb simply because you can't have sex with a computer image. It's ... (read in full...)
Should I end things with this man?
Q. hi, so I have been seeing this guy for 5 months now. we where friends first and I confided in him and then one day we had this connection and since then we been together. at one stage he was staying and spending nights with me and I have kid...
A. 2 February 2017: On the face of it ...it sounds like you two are incompatible. Yeah, I know you love him and all but if he's not as punctual as you would like him to be and it sounds like you guys shout at each other over minor stuff. I think you should stop ... (read in full...)
I wasn't ready for sex so he hasn't talked to me for two weeks!
Q. my boyfriend hasn't spoken to me for two weeks..he suddenly went silent after we argued over the fact that I wasn't ready for sex .we have only gone out for almost a month.I like him but I don't want to base my relationship on sex....do I call him ...
A. 2 February 2017: No..let him pout in silence. If he's not an idiot he'll call you to say he's sorry. If he is an idiot and doesn't call then you're better off.... (read in full...)
My husband has Erectile Dysfunction issues and yet is not interested in seeing the Doctor about this. I get no satisfaction. What can I do?
Q. Hey, my husband couldn't have sex with me. It's been a year since our wedding and I'm still being a virgin , I want to experience it. He says that he has early ejaculation and erection issues too. He never really tried to have with me but he a...
A. 1 February 2017: Very disturbing problem. He must go see a doctor. Or, as others have suggested he may be gay and just not care to admit it.... (read in full...)
Grossed Out by Violent Behavior
Q. Hi. I wrote two times here about an older man I had a crush on, got advice here, stepped back and realized that like the aunts and uncles warned that he was a no go. (Thanks again!) I've been cordial since he works/lives not too far from where I ...
A. 1 February 2017: If you can get a restraining order (consult an attorney first) then move to a new address. The guy is a time bomb and you need to take measures to protect yourself. Do whatever you can to avoid this guy. He's one drink away from hurting someone very ... (read in full...)
Dad told me if I dated this guy he would kick me out
Q. I am 19 years old. Im a college student. There's a guy I like who is 24, I get along with great because we share the same interests. He likes me back. Though I can't date him for two reasons: 1 were related by marriage (no blood) 2 my dad said if...
A. 31 January 2017: Honor thy mother and thy father...In this case it's your father. Sounds like this guy in family by marriage(if you say not by blood) OK, your dad must know or know of this person and recognizes a potential problem. Therefore listen to your father!... (read in full...)
Should I pay attention to his behavioral patterns
Q. When I was in undergrad 7 years ago I was partnered with one of my classmates (Tom) to do a class project. at the time I was in an unhealthy relationship and every time I went tto class I got attention from Tom. Both me and tom were attracted to ...
A. 31 January 2017: Reread Honeypie and follow her advice... (read in full...)
I don't understand the attitude of my hook-up
Q. My hook up and I kept trying to make plans to, well you know, hook up, but he kept cancelling on me because something came up that he had to take care of. Anyway he apologized for being confusing lately (which idk what that really meant) but I...
A. 30 January 2017: Either you're being played for a fool or he has extreme anxiety (possibly guilt) over the whole sordid affair... (read in full...)
My mother in law walked in on me naked. I put some clothing on. But should I try not to be concerened? My M-in-Law wasn't bothered at all.
Q. My wife and I are currently on vacation and staying at my mother in laws house for a week. Last night my mother in law walked into my bed room as I stepped out of the the bathroom. I was completely naked. She did not seem at all bothered by ...
A. 29 January 2017: You did the right thing. She should have knocked. Tell your wife what happened but don't make a big deal out of it. Maybe she'll knock next time. In the meantime try to be prepared for the next no knock situation.... (read in full...)
He is much older but I want to have sex with him
Q. I knew a guy at work. I'm 22 he is 41. A very sexy man. Do u think he will have something with me after sex. We decided to be friends with benefits. He is in a relationship with a 31 years old . We planned to have sex this weekend. Do you think is ...
A. 28 January 2017: If being handsome is your only criteria for having sex with someone then sure why not? BUT "he can't love anymore (red flag)... (read in full...)
Do cheating married men usually have more than one mistress?
Q. Do married men who cheat, cheat with more than one mistress at a time? Or do some men stay with just one? I am interested in everybody weighing in with their opinions. ...
A. 27 January 2017: Are you kidding? No one can keep up with 3 women at a time1... (read in full...)
I'm more interested in sex than my boyfriend
Q. Should I back off and give boyfriend some room? Is there something wrong with me because I have a high sex drive? How can I get him to perform oral sex first without directly asking for it? We've been dating for 9 months I'm in love with him. I ...
A. 25 January 2017: The two sexiest words in the English language to a guy are: eat me..... If he can't respond to that then there's no hope.... (read in full...)
How do I deal with insensitive remarks about infertility?
Q. My husband and I had a lot of difficulty to have our baby. After years of fertility appointments, I managed to conceive naturally and we had our miracle baby. I love him more than words can say. However, I have not forgotten the pain I went through ...
A. 25 January 2017: Firstly it is NONE of their business! I can't believe that anyone would even "go there". You say some are so nosey they think they need to provide input to your or anyone's private business. Those folks are undeserving of any response whatsoev... (read in full...)
Does being rich make a guy sexier, or does he just offer more security?
Q. Does being rich make a guy sexier, or does he just offer more security? What is better in a guy who is 20-30 years old.. Being super rich (through inheritance or the lottery), or having an $US80k job?...
A. 24 January 2017: Money doesn't make you sexier or more secure...it just is a lure... (read in full...)
My son punched a guest, when guest videoed him and girlfriend having sex.
Q. My son is 19 he has been dating his girlfriend since he was 16 and she was 15. We have a pretty open relationship with them. Over the weekend they went out to a party with their friends and at our house my husband and I threw a surprise party for ...
A. 23 January 2017: The youth of this generation has a feeling of entitlement and they truly do not understand the need to respect anyone else... (read in full...)
How can an older woman feel sexy when their partner obesesses over girls 20 years younger?
Q. How does an older woman ever feel good enough or sexy enough especially when her partner is obsessed with watching women twenty years younger than her. I know the usual answer is to ' realise he is with you and if he wanted that he would have that ' ...
A. 23 January 2017: AS an older man I can tell you straight up that younger women and bigger breasts(both) are HIGLY overrated! The gal I married still has the best in bed moves and body. I think are just wired to think younger is better(because of the whole ... (read in full...)
Everything was great .... except the sex!
Q. Hi. I am seeing someone and we get on so well. Everything is great. But we had sex for the first time and he treated me like a one night stand. He was just concerned about having an orgasm. He has never been in a relationship before. I know the ...
A. 23 January 2017: Assuming he is very inexperienced with sex...he probably hasn't yet learned that pleasing your partner fist is the ultimate sex. He will eventually learn to "hold back"
and delay his own orgasm until you've experienced yours or try to "time it" ... (read in full...)
I lied to my husband about maxing out my credit card and he found out
Q. So today my husband found out that i maxed my (our) credit card. He was upset by this. Which i dont blame him. Ive totally broken his trust in me. I was going to say that i dont know why i lied about it. But i do. I lied because he gets ver...
A. 19 January 2017: I must apologize that I cannot have any sympathy for your situation. Credit is a bad thing to abuse. The real abuse seems to me though is what you did to his credit. Even though the card may have been under both names his credit is affected by your ... (read in full...)
This bothers me a lot. What can I do? Married nearly 15 years and now my wife is no longer interested in Bjs.
Q. Been married for nearly 15 years. My wife has basically decided that she will no longer perform oral sex on me. It's not like I was getting once a week, in fact once every two years is more like the current rate. When we first married, it was some...
A. 19 January 2017: According to most guys I know that are married. BJs go the way of the dinosaur after about a year or two of marriage. They seemingly don't need to PROVE their commitment to anyone and revert to being the innocent young image they have of ... (read in full...)
Why do some men say things to their partner the man thinks may sound supportive, and yet concurrently they collect pictures of women and porn?
Q. I know this might seem a dumb question but it's bothered me in a lot of relationships I've been in as I've noticed most guys seem to do it and think it's no big deal to lie about it . Why do some men say things to their partner like 'you're the only...
A. 19 January 2017: guilt is a great motivator for lying.... (read in full...)
Should I continue dating someone who's 15 years older than me?
Q. Hey guys, My question is should I continue to pursue a relationship with someone who's 15 years older than me? Okay so I am 21 next month , my boyfriend is 35. I did not know he was 35 when we first met because he told me he was 26. He said he k...
A. 18 January 2017: OK, here's the thing. First, how could yo NOT know the age difference? and B; Age is just a number. If you two are happy then there is no problem other than you both draw upon things from a different perspective. How could you not know? He knows who ... (read in full...)
She has no problems trying to crush my ego. NOW she says I'm bad in bed. How should I respond to her insults about lovemaking?
Q. My girlfriend completely criticized my sex. Said I suck in bed when she's been wanting me for 3 years saying that no one knows her body like me and she never felt this good before and blah blah blah. But as soon as she gets mad at me that complet...
A. 18 January 2017: Sorry to be the one to tell you but you're not alone. It seems the majority of men I've talked to about this very subject have a similar experience. My theory is the adventurous spirit you both once knew is gone the way of youth. "Oh sweet bird ... (read in full...)
Any opinions as to whether she is into me?
Q. There is a young girl who I come across frequently as she works near me and I am of the understanding she is straight. I think she has a boyfriend but I am gay with a girlfriend. I am just curious as to whether she is into me or not. She remembe...
A. 18 January 2017: If you are both in a relationship who cares?... (read in full...)
I still feel embarrassed 8 months later.
Q. I expressed interest in guy that I was interested in 8 months ago but he turned me down. I felt disappointed but brushed it off and acted like it was no big deal. However, the long term effect was embarrassment. I thought he was interested in me...
A. 17 January 2017: A year from now you will have forgotten all about it. no worries.... (read in full...)
How can I find out if I am fertile ... or not?
Q. dear cupid im worried about my fertility im 35 years old mals i dated a lady 28 year for 3 years relationzhip.staying together.she got preg and i went for dna with her and found that im not the farther.it happened to me on past i get a girlfriend ...
A. 17 January 2017: Any fertility doctor can tell you the answer but us folks out here in computer-land have no clue. By the way, what is a mals?... (read in full...)
I found a dildo in my boyfriend's closet!
Q. I'm a 47 year old woman that found a dildo in my boyfriend's closet! We've been dating 2 year's and only see each other on the weekends,but talk every night. He has two kids,so he's home with them every night. He isn't vocal about what he wants in ...
A. 14 January 2017: He may have bought it for you. If sex is "great" maybe he wanted you to have better than great. Men ALWAYS want to have their partner to have better than before so as to keep their partner satisfied. Just ask but make certain you weren't snooping. ... (read in full...)
How do I say NO to my boss?
Q. Dear aunts and uncles, This is not a romantic relationship question, but I need help :) My boss wants to change some fundamentals we agreed on years ago and I need to find a delicate way to say no. I work for a minuscule company as a trans...
A. 12 January 2017: WOW, What a complicated hot mess. If I were you(and I'm glad i'm not) I'd start looking for a new job. This is not going to end well so you need to get out of the way.... (read in full...)
Will my virginity lose him?
Q. Hello, I have only known my boyfriend for a week and we seem to have a connection. The only problem is I don't want to have sex with him as I have never had sex before. I feel as though I'm not ready for it. I feel as though he does. He said to ...
A. 6 January 2017: No, you've been true to yourself and reserved your virginity for the right man. If he can't appreciate the heck out of that then he is NOT the right man for you plus it takes more than 7 to 10 days to evaluate someone. You're not in love yet. ... (read in full...)
Am I a lousy lover for my wife?
Q. I am 48 y.I. married for 8 years. I met my wife when we both were 40. The only way that she can reach the orgasm with me is with oral sex. She always told me that she was unable to reach an orgasm troough intercourse. I know that she has had 28 p...
A. 5 January 2017: Sounds like the answer may be yes. she may "need" more than any one guy can provide.... (read in full...)
Do his comments about other women signify insecurity or a potential cheat?
Q. Hey, My boyfriend is very loving, sweet, complimentary etc but he does this thing that is really starting to grate on me... Basically when we watch films/ tv when a fit women comes on he's VERY vocal about it I.e. "id put it in her" "she's so s...
A. 4 January 2017: He's being immature Those are the stupid comments of a boy that is talking to another boy.... (read in full...)
Are my dreams of him significant?
Q. i have reoccurring dreams about my ex-boyfriend who left me after 12 years and married someone else but always called and drop by unexpected. he passed away 3 years ago and I still have dreams about seeing him and his wife together. a few days ...
A. 3 January 2017: You once had strong feelings for this man but it was left unresolved in your subconscious so it will pop up from time to time. You should probably seek professional help to bury those feelings once and for all lest they recur in future dream ... (read in full...)
How can I respond to my BF over these very ugly sneakers he gave me for Christmas?
Q. My boyfriend got me these ugly knee high sneakers for Christmas. I acted grateful and thanked him. They really didn't fit me (thank goodness). So I took them back to the store and just planned to get something else. He's been driving me c...
A. 2 January 2017: Opps, shouldn't have labeled them cool and trendy... just ask if he still has the receipt and can he exchange them for a pair in a slightly different style that fit better. That way he'll assume they don't fit all that well but he still made a good ... (read in full...)
My husband is constantly looking at other women and doesn't even try to hide it
Q. My husband constantly looks at other women not a slight glance a full look , and repeatedly looks at same woman if we are out on a social event . I feel very upset by this as surley the woman in question can see that he is with me yet still looking ...
A. 31 December 2016: The facts are as follows; Men will ALWAYS look at other women. Women are beautiful and we love the fantasy of "what if". I'm sure if you examine your own feelings you'll find similar "thoughts" It's natural to fantasize as long as you don't act on ... (read in full...)
Do gay men ever fantasize about women?
Q. Am wondering about something, Am straight, an fantasize , about what it would be like to suck a guy off, it really turns me on,do guys who are gay,ever fantasize about having sex with a woman, ...
A. 31 December 2016: Fantasy is just that.. fantasy. Try to not focus on the fantasy and deal with reality.. the fantasy will eventually dissolve, or you'll have to act upon it. Am not gay so cannot relate.... (read in full...)
How do I tell a sexting creep I'm not interested without hurting him.
Q. Hi every one, I need help to tell him I'm nit interested. I had a one night stand about 5 months ago, and have been texting him since. But he has tried sexting me for a few weeks now, I keep trying to change the subject, but he's not getting ...
A. 31 December 2016: Creeps deserve to be hurt! Why are you concerned over his feelings? Do you know him? Simply tell the creep to F off and bother someone else or you'll report him to the police.... (read in full...)
How to determine if a woman likes me? How do I let a woman know I like her? How to slow down my orgasm when with a woman?
Q. Moderator note: more than one question combined into this one post. .. . . . . . . . . . . .. . I am a man wanting to know how to go about letting a woman know I like her? I am very shy and have a hard time telling a woman I like them. Once I...
A. 23 December 2016: Slow down answers all the questions... (read in full...)
Spit or swallow?
Q. When giving a blow job is it better to spit or swollow? My boyfriend of 4 months has recentley asked me to give him a blow job, but im not sure whether to spit or swollow. I've heard it tastes horrible but if i spit, where do i spit? I really dont ...
A. 23 December 2016: You sound like the dude that won the lottery and complains that he must pay taxes ".WTF?" you're a winner don't bitch about it.... (read in full...)
I'm in a FWB. Does his actions seem like he may like me more than sex?
Q. This is a question about FWB (friends with benefits) or a FB (f**k buddy) situation. There is a man that I have this type of relationship with. He confuses me because he is very affectionate with me around his friends, invites me to gatherings at ...
A. 22 December 2016: I think he's a lucky guy and he knows it.... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend lying and cheating on me?
Q. I've been in a relationship now with a man 15 years my junior for 11 years now and with every new year looming I start to question my future with him. I run my own business, am captain of the local golf club, have great friends and two daughters ...
A. 16 December 2016: Yo deserve better than this situation. I get the feeling you already know what to do and are just looking for validation. If that's true then you have my best wishes for your next life adventure.... (read in full...)
The guy I like seems to be a really horrible person, what do I do?
Q. My friends are really close to this one guy. It has been over a few months since he started hanging around with us and he's been just fine with me. At first I started liking him and finding him attractive, so I confessed and heard no reply from him ...
A. 14 December 2016: What? There are billions of fish in the sea. Just because a "cute" one is an A=-hole doesn't mean you have to endure his idiotic actions. Find a new guy. "Cute" is NOT a virtue.... (read in full...)
How can I know if I'll be open to a boyfriend being sexually polygamous?
Q. I don't have a BF right now, and I have actually never had a boyfriend before. However, I realized that there are many men out there that cheat, not because they don't love their GF enough, (or so I think), but because they just love to have variety ...
A. 14 December 2016: This is a catch 22 question. Yeah some men like a variety so does that mean you should "adjust" to that way of life or just remain single? There are some men who are just fine as monogamous. You just need the patience to find the right guy . Why ... (read in full...)
Am I a lousy lover for my wife?
Q. I am 48 y.I. married for 8 years. I met my wife when we both were 40. The only way that she can reach the orgasm with me is with oral sex. She always told me that she was unable to reach an orgasm troough intercourse. I know that she has had 28 p...
A. 9 December 2016: I doubt you are not right for each other. I suspect you are going through an insecurity that is quite common among men. We all want to be the best for our partner. If oral gets her off then give her oral, Forget the squirting part. That is usually ... (read in full...)
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