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*lderthandirt agony aunt

*lderthandirt

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*lderthandirt's profile:

I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot.

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He hurt me so much, what should I do?

Q.   Hi All, I need help.. Last June, I was dumped by a guy I thought was the one. By a guy I loved truly with my whole heart. He dumped me a month before our holiday to meet his family. It was a heart wrenching time in my life. Still, due to the fa...

A.   5 March 2016: I fail to see whatkind of questions you would ask would elict an answer worth trusting. Like the movie title suggests I'm afraid he's "just not into you" I'm positive you can find someone with much more empathy than he seems to have displayed. In ... (read in full...)

Is feeling good about yourself is a sin? Or am I expecting too much from him?

Q.   Dear Cupid I have on and off relationship with my current be of 4 years. Yesterday I changed in profile picture , which is my really fav picture and I like how I look in the picture. Earlier I used to have low self esteem issues, never really lik...

A.   24 October 2015: He sounds like a sad young immature self-concious guy that feels threatened by being with someone that draws attention.A very insecure person like that can be a drag on your evolution as you continue to grow and blosom into a more adventurous and ... (read in full...)

How do I get this guy to listen?

Q.   More guy troubles/ rant! Let's call his guy M. M and I have been seeing each other for a while now. For a while now, I've been feeling like I'm nothing but a booty call to him. I just want to hang out with him and everytime he initiates sex. Don't ...

A.   24 October 2015: Explain to him that this is the day you set aside to rearrange your sock drawer and he'll just have to take matters into his own hands.... (read in full...)

My guy says he'll give me oral sex if I shave but I don't want to do that

Q.   Been with my partner for just over a year, my only problem is...I've gone down on him many times, but he has never gone down on me. He told me he would touch me "down there" more often even possibly go down on me if I.....Shaved. ...

A.   24 October 2015: Turnabout is fair play... Ask him to be first to shave, whoa, I'll bet he will change his tune quickly.... (read in full...)

I don't like lying to my parents but they don't give me much independence

Q.   Hi Agony Aunts, I am 17 in 3 months and I feel like my parents kind of treat me like a kid. Its like this : Whenever I want to go out, I would tell them where I'm going and tell them who I am with. BUT, they would never let me walk on my own to meet ...

A.   23 October 2015: You only get one set of parents..You must loveand respect them. that's your only "job" right now. At some point in time 9let us hope it is many decades from now) They will depend on you for many things. they only want you to grow into a strong ... (read in full...)

How do black people find positivity in a world that seems to hate them?

Q.   I'm black and every week I come across a video or article that commentators summarize as "black people are savage, Africans are worthless and the worst thing on the planet". I want to know how other black people find positivity in a world that hates ...

A.   23 October 2015: Sadly, this world is full of hatred. Hatred exists in many quarters. Usually, haters actually hate something about themselves but focus on some other group or race or whatever. I actually envy a lot about the black race. They have much better skin ... (read in full...)

I surprised him by doing the housework but he reduced me to tears. Is this guy worth being with?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. Last night I went over to his house but got there an hour before he did. The house was a mess with dishes and dirty laundry everywhere so I thought as a surprise before he comes home I would clean. (as a ...

A.   23 October 2015: Sounds like a typical misogynist to me. Run to the hills, He's not worth another moment of your time. Oh, wait you have a sprained ankle. Take a cab.Good Luck Lots of men would give a body part to have a woman like you.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's stomach is coming between us

Q.   I met a guy of 40 on a dating site we have been dating 6 months. He is about to complete his divorce and has two children under 8. His wife left him two years ago and things are amicable. If I have a future will I be expected to share my house w...

A.   22 October 2015: You have made the case for a pre-divorce action. Just find another guy. Let this guy down as gentle as you can, without the body references and move on. good luck... (read in full...)

I'm scared of this man's behavior!

Q.   Actually I am in a trouble. Opposite to my PG one guy is staring. At the very first time he used to stare at me and one night he was coming along with his friends and i was talking on phone he called me by making some noise. I got scared and ran ...

A.   22 October 2015: While I don't understand the dtails within your overall question, I can tell you that ANYTHING that makes you uncompfortable about anyone is a red flag. Your natural instincts have perked up and made you aware of something(you may not be able to ... (read in full...)

I have a crush on my boss. Does he like me?

Q.   So I have a crush on my boss and I have this feeling he has it too.Signs-His eyes shine when he talks to me.Whenever he is around me,he tries to look at me.His friends at work are sweet to me.I have come to this new company unfortunately with ...

A.   21 October 2015: Sounds like your run-of-the mill perv to me... (read in full...)

I'm second best to my boyfriend's dog!

Q.   Hi my boyfriend and I have been together 3 years we have a 10 month old daughter he has a doberman which he had when we met he has just moved in a few months ago but we have just discovered our daughter has a allergy to the dog now my boyfriend is ...

A.   21 October 2015: Aww, I hope he and the dog are very happy together (A boy and his dog...what a story..awwwwww)... (read in full...)

My husband has cheated on me and I'm not sure if I should have children or even stay in this marriage

Q.   My husband and I got married 5 years ago. We rushed into marriage after a year of LDR, during which I found out he had a 3 year old kid with somebody else. I believed him telling me he had no relationship with the mother of his child (Ana). A couple ...

A.   21 October 2015: And there I was willing to give the dude a break and you threw in the abuse part. Nope any guy that abuses a woman in my book is a first rate A-hole and gets no sympathy. Leave the clown before you make an even bigger mistake. ... (read in full...)

I feel pressured to have a boyfriend

Q.   I'm a 23 year old girl. Single. Struggling businesswoman. I have lots of true friends, a loving, caring family. My career and hobbies- all are enough to make me happy. But it is a kind of unsaid peer pressure here to have a boyfriend. It is not like ...

A.   21 October 2015: If folks say you need a boyfriend. Tell them they need a pet monkey. You don't NEED what you don't want.... (read in full...)

Should I contact this friend to see if we actually still are friends?

Q.   Okay, I'll try and make this as short as possible. So, I met this guy back in July online and we got close, (or at least I did). We spoke everyday for almost 2 months and then kind of spiraled down to once a week. I asked him if he was annoyed by me ...

A.   21 October 2015: Odds are, at this point "the relationship" is all done. You have to nurture any relationship to keep it alive or else it goes down as a fond memory.... (read in full...)

How can I dress to hide my muscular legs?

Q.   Do you guys think my body type is weird? I'm around 5 ft. 105 pounds, I'm very athletic so I have muscular thighs and I have a decent sized butt, all muscle and toned. I'm a double zero and have a 4 pack. My legs are longer and I have a short torso ...

A.   21 October 2015: Never hide an asset. Your body type is a big turn on to most guys. ... (read in full...)

I miss my online friend!

Q.   I met a guy online. He seems genuine.. has told me his entire life story which was quite sad... so I'm trusting its true. We used to talk often but now we have stopped and I even took the step of removing him from my friends list on Facebook. But I ...

A.   21 October 2015: Way back before there was an online friend we had what we called pen pals. Like you I found a REAL good friend(female) we shared our innermost thoughts etc. exchanged photos and the likee. So, I can relate to your anxiety too. Even before computers ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend of one year is pushing to get married and I'm not ready for it!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. I am 32 and he is 37. Neither of us have been married or have children.We live about 40 mins from one another. Here is the problem. He has been putting the pressure on me very heavy the last 4-5 ...

A.   20 October 2015: My dad told me a long time ago...wait until you're 40 to get married. He was right!... (read in full...)

Why does the girl who ran off with my ex manage to get under my skin?

Q.   How do I cope with the girl who ran off with my man? She posts sleazy photos of her and him up on Instagram and Facebook to get back at me and her ex. I try not to look anymore and most times I don't - but from time to time I see images w...

A.   20 October 2015: Stay off the social media sites and don't worry about it.... (read in full...)

How will it effect me if I watch my wife giving birth?

Q.   My wife is extreme gorgeous and she is currently 8 months pregnant with our first child. I will admit I was kinda worried about the whole pregnancy thing and how it would effect our sex life but it has only made it better. I am very turned on with ...

A.   20 October 2015: If you think she's beautiful now just wait until after you see her give birth to your child. You can't think this to death. There is NOTHING more beautiful than watching a life come out of "there"... (read in full...)

Why did my ex give up on me? Why does he do things with his fiance that he refused to do with me?

Q.   We dated for three years. He went through some tough times and I was always by his side, helping him and never leaving him. We went through a bad patch, argued every day. He said we needed a short break. He said he will always love me and be there...

A.   20 October 2015: Another question might be "What is she doing for him that I wouldn't do to get him to do all these nice things for her?"... (read in full...)

My piano teacher and I are close, but is it too close?

Q.   My teacher and I are very close. He always tells me I'm his favorite student and we always joke and have interesting sometimes inappropriate conversations. He told me I'm beautiful, he always gets upset when other people hit on me. And he has hugged ...

A.   20 October 2015: Danger-danger will Robinson! As the robot used to say in "Lost in Space" (an old TV show). Better stop this fun stuff before he tells you to take off your clothes.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has been in his cave for too long! Help!

Q.   I've been in a 'relationship' with my long distance boyfriend for only 4 weeks. He is great; smart, funny, sexy, interesting and we both feel a definite connection. The first 2 weeks, although long distance, over the phone chatting were amazing. I ...

A.   20 October 2015: Well I've never heard of the whole in his cave theory but I have heard of the whole "Long distance Relationship"(LDR) theory.One thing I do know is an LDR never really works out over time. Sounds tome like he's avoiding you and/or thw whole LDR ... (read in full...)

I'm not ready for sex until I'm sure he's the one! What do I do?

Q.   I'm 22yrs in a relationship with a boy, who is ready to do anything for me and keep telling me he has gotten to his last bustop. He those ask me for sex But he is not pressuring me to give him my virginity and I'm scared of losing him because he ...

A.   19 October 2015: You are wise beyond your years. Good on you for waiting for your life partner before giving up what you can only give once. Just tell the guy he's not the one. Proud of you.... (read in full...)

Went on a date, it went very well, now he's not messaging back, what have I done wrong?

Q.   Hi aunts and uncles. I went on a date with a guy just over a week ago and completely hit it off with him. I could tell he was quite bowled over with me and was very complimentary and we had a lovely time. He said he wanted to see me again but I w...

A.   19 October 2015: Get over self-inflicted pain. don't assume that you did something wrong just because some dumb A doesn't respond the way you think he ought to respond. some folks are just weird and can't be figured out so don't waste time or be anxious about this ... (read in full...)

Do all men stare at other women? Is it natural?

Q.   Hi I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years we are happy we live together and never argue there's just one problem his interest in other women I know all men look but he stares for ages I have told him many times how this upsets me but he ...

A.   17 October 2015: It's natural to look at otherbeautiful people (men OR women). As long as it doesn't make someone uncompfortable.If you don't want him to look then tell him so.... (read in full...)

How can I feel like less of a failure towards my Gf?

Q.   I've been with my S/O for five months now and recently found out that this whole time I haven't made her cum. She took my virginity so I understand that I am not super experienced bUT I can't help to feel useless and like a failure. She says ...

A.   16 October 2015: First understand that not all women have orgasms. Some can go for years and never experience an orgasm. No worries. If she complains about it then there is a problem. Otherwise, forget it.... (read in full...)

His ex had big boobs. I have tiny boobs. What chance is there that I can overcome my insecurities over this?

Q.   I just don't know how to feel? My BF and I have an on an off again relationship when we first started I wasn't ready to settle down, yet even though at that time he deserved it. He was so sweet and 100% everything I wanted in a man but I was mu...

A.   16 October 2015: Big boobs are highly over-rated. Your description sounds just fine. don't have body anxiety.... (read in full...)

Could it be masturbation causing bad luck

Q.   Could it be Masturbation causing me bad luck?? Im one person who hated wanking n everything those days went on very well. Happened one day when i got some advice form a friend who told me that jerkin yourself helps to last long during sex. De...

A.   15 October 2015: If that were even partly true there would be good luck anywhere on the planet. Luck (good or bad) isn't "caused". By definition Luck just happens.... (read in full...)

What should I do in this terribly strange work situation?

Q.   I am currently doing a 12 month apprenticeship in Business Admin at a company in the city centre. The company only just started at the beginning of this year, so they are new to the industry this is why I thought having the opportunity would be a ...

A.   15 October 2015: This has to be the strangest position ever. Off the top of my head it sounds like the "company" never really got going and it just kind of self-destructed.I don't know what if anything the company produced or was doing but I'd bet it doesn' exist ... (read in full...)

Is he thinking of her?

Q.   During sex my boyfriend has always made it important to look in each others eyes. Now after he has cheated when hes on me he looks up or down or above my head. I believe hes thinking of her.am I right?...

A.   14 October 2015: more likely than not he's wracked with guilt and cannot look into your eyes without feeling like the creep that he is. Real men don't cheat!... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is living with a female housemate, is supporting her and I also found out they were involved at one time. Any advice?

Q.   I've been with my partner for almost two years and we have a fantastic relationship together apart from one issue that is causing some tension between us. We don't live together, but he lives with a female "housemate" and her son. He financially ...

A.   14 October 2015: Run for the hills. This guy is no good for you.... (read in full...)

He hurt me so much, what should I do?

Q.   Hi All, I need help.. Last June, I was dumped by a guy I thought was the one. By a guy I loved truly with my whole heart. He dumped me a month before our holiday to meet his family. It was a heart wrenching time in my life. Still, due to the fa...

A.   14 October 2015: Nope, don't go to him to ask anything...It will only cause more anguish. I know exactly how you feel. I was dumped by my first love a long time ago and it still hurts. Life is Not fair... (read in full...)

Does this virgo guy like me?

Q.   The story is he used to like me a few years ago and I turned him down because I was seeing somebody then, and he said he was gay. Fast forward a few years now I like him and I told him, when I told him he said we would talk about it but we never di...

A.   14 October 2015: being a vergo has little to do with anything. I just don't think he's all that great of a catch. So, why not just move on?... (read in full...)

How do I walk away from my vicious boyfriend and stop myself from communicating with him?

Q.   I've asked a few questions on here lately because I'm in kind of a messed up relationship but today I know I have to walk away from it. Two years ago I was raped and my boyfriend was totally unsupportive. After he brought me home from the police ...

A.   14 October 2015: You "walk away" by trying to remember that the assault will progress to things worse, like death. He's an animal and you are better than that so get away and don't look back in order to save your life.... (read in full...)

Is this sexual harassment? The actions of my new boss make me feel uncomfortable.

Q.   I have just started working in a new role and have found my boss's behaviour odd. He has asked me whether I am serious with boyfriend, if the relationship is flexible and can be moved around for work, how old my boyfriend is, if my boyfrien...

A.   14 October 2015: Sounds at a minimum like a hostile work environment. You should NEVER feel uncompfortable with the actions from another employee(boss or not). Here in the states we have the E.E.O.C.(equal employment oportunity commision) to deal with such matters ... (read in full...)

I'm new to online dating. Any tips please on what to do and look out for?

Q.   Dear Cupid I have been around 5 yrs with my ex and I broke up with me since he was v manipulative, selfish and took a lot of money from me. Long story short, I'm kind of moving on and my friend suggested online dating site. I have a date on weeken...

A.   13 October 2015: My advice would be to avoid it like a cold. You don't know who is on the other end of the online.... (read in full...)

I'm heartbroken over my married man!

Q.   I have been having an affair with a married coworker for two years...the feelings are strong and even though we knew it was wrong we always kept going back to each other. I found out last month from a mutual friend that his plan to adopt a baby ...

A.   13 October 2015: Try to get a grip. If you knew going into this that it was wrong and would never work then the "heartbreak" shouldn't be that tough to get over.... (read in full...)

Am I stupid for being sad that I've never been in a relationship?

Q.   Hi, I have tried to narrow this question to begin with. I am using the bullet points for a little background. -I am 47 and unmarried and never had a girlfriend at all. Although I have engaged in sex once after a high school with a girl who liked m...

A.   12 October 2015: Being sad is an emotion. You cannot be stupid for having an emotion, ergo no you're not stupid. You seem to be having an anxiety attack over being without a mate. That's not unfixable. Get out more and be more socialble.Try not to be anxious over it ... (read in full...)

Men act like they like me but turn me down when I ask them out

Q.   I keep asking guys out that act like they have feelings for me but they keep turning me down and I can't take it. What am I doing wrong?...

A.   12 October 2015: Roles have "modernized" It used to be the guy who did the asking out...maybe these guys are still in that mode. I'd quit asking.... (read in full...)

My Bf donated his sperm before we got serious. How can I stop freaking and get over this?

Q.   My boyfriend who I love donated his sperm 3 years ago. It was one of the first things he told me before we got serious and at the time I was fine with the fact that there were 2 kids with half of his dna. But then when things did get serious, it hit ...

A.   7 October 2015: You have an obsession over a trivial thing. So he gave up an ounce of sperm to help out a couple that wants a child so what? He did a good thong. Get over yourself.... (read in full...)

Has my body maybe been conditioned to only orgasm with visual aids?

Q.   I could really use advice please. So I'm a 16 year old girl, still a virgin and have been masturbating since I was younger. It's a little bit of a blur when I first discovered how to please myself but I'm sure I was watching something at the...

A.   6 October 2015: Nope, porn is a great stimulant but far from an end all be all.You'll be fine without it. The most stimulation anyone can get is between the ears.... (read in full...)

He feels there is no spark and he just wants to be alone to find himself. How should I act towards him? Has he moved on?

Q.   Hey everyone! I hope you could put some light into my situation. I started dating my coworker at work, in the beginning it was all perfect, i felt pursued he was so charming and really swept me off my feet. We went on many dates together and spen...

A.   6 October 2015: If I were you(I know..I'm not) I'd give him EXACTLY what he wants and leave him alone. Run every chance you get and leave this loser to his own devices.... (read in full...)

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