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... Send *issKin a private message | | | *issKin's profile:Hi all. Have been using this site for a long time.
I'm in my mid 20's, in a long term relationship and have been with my significant other for over three years.
Hope to be able to provide fair and honest advice to people without judging. |
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| Latest articles: How to be secure in love...
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 October 2008: How to be secure in love... When you enter a relationship, it opens up hundreds, thousands of uncertain feelings. Little potholes in our sanity and they can easily make their ways into becoming tunnels. I was the most confident person in the wo...
Sex is a funny thing...
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 January 2008: I have recently started going out with a guy that I am CRAZY about. I really love him and our relationship has moved really quickly. We were close friends first and both rather secretive about feeling anything more for the other, afraid to ruin what ...
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I cry in bed when my boyfriend has fallen asleep. Why does this happen?
Q. For the past few months I find myself crying in bed with my boyfriend. He does not know because I wait until he has fallen asleep. It is only when I am in bed with him, not when I'm alone. We have had no problems in our relationship and he has been ...
A. 13 September 2008: you really have to answer this question yourself sweetie. Are you happy when you cry? or sad? the fact that you mention that he's been a perfect boyfriend makes me think it's sad, as you're crying about something in the relationship, or a feeling ... (read in full...)
I phoned his ex-wife and things blew up. I don't know what to do now.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly four years. He was married 15 years ago and got divorced not long after. He has always stayed friends with (lets call her kelly). Anyway i have disliked their contact and i do not see the point as they have ...
A. 13 September 2008: Okay, so i don't have to point out any of your mistakes cos you already know them. I understand why you did what you did. when guys keep secrets you think there's a motive. what you don't seem to realise is that they were married. if you love ... (read in full...)
How do I mend my broken heart after he cheated?
Q. I'm a 24yr old female and my boyfriend is 26 just recently cheated on me. Trust me the pain just wont go away and I've been going out every weekend to parties to get wasted, cause sitting at home just depresses me more. The other day called to say ...
A. 13 September 2008: I disagree with you on the 'i know a cheater is always a cheater'. sometimes people make mistakes. And girls make them just as well as men can. I know that won't ease the pain, and it shouldn't. i can hardly imagine how much it must hurt to be ... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with my clitoris? Never experienced pleasure during oral so far.
Q. So, I've had sex about 3 times and received oral a couple of times too from different guys. But when i get oral, i never feel anything and my clit gets really big. I know the clit has a lot of nerve endings, so im supposed to feel a lot of ...
A. 13 September 2008: Hm. It could be something really simple like - oral just isn't what you like getting? Or the guys who did it really didn't do it right.
If you didn't feel any sensation at all, and even if you masturbate with your hands or vibrators and you don'... (read in full...)
Body Image: How can I feel better about it?
Q. Hi, I have just started seeing this guy, we have been out a few times however everytime he goes to touch me I always find my self pulling away, I have a big issue with the way I look, I'm not overweight but I am no oil painting either, just a normal ...
A. 15 August 2008: What are you worried about? If a guy wants to touch you, it's obvious that he likes the way you look! so you shouldn't be nervous and you should realise that there's so much more to like about yourself than you think there is. You just have to think ... (read in full...)
I currently live with my dad but I want to live with my mum!
Q. I am 13. I lived with my dad for a long time now about 8 years with my younger brothers. I now want to live with my mom, but I don't want to hurt my dad's feelings. What do I do?...
A. 29 June 2008: Well, you're thirteen - and tho that's quite young you know what you want and you have reasons for that. It's okay if you want to live with your mum. You still love your dad obviously otherwise you wouldn't be putting so much consideration into it. ... (read in full...)
Advice on anal sex please!!
Q. Hi guys I'ma keep it short and sweet my gf and I have been thinking alot about anal sex but neither of us have done it before,she wanted to if its painfull or how does the penis go into her anus,should you use any lubricants and if what should you ...
A. 9 June 2008: Right i've never done it, and i don't plan to but i can give you some common sense pointers - yes, it'll probably hurt, at least a little bit. and yes, use lots and lots of lubricant. definitely not an idea to do it without - ever - especially the ... (read in full...)
I have PMS and my mother thinks I'm no use around the house!
Q. Okay..So.. About a month ago i ahd the implant. My periods are Screwed up and im so much nastier. I love my mum to bits and i must admit shes my best friend. But Since ive Started Bein 'nasty' we fall out all the time. she says im nasty and i have a ...
A. 7 June 2008: How old are you? is this your proper age? To be honest, if you're still this young you shouldn't have had the implant. I disagree with it. it messes with your hormones too much and at your age your hormones are already screwing around, all on their ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant?
Q. ive been on cerezettte pill now for 9 months and have been wit my boyfriend for almost a year we r brilliant 2gether and hav talked ahead off rselves. althogh i 4got to take my pill 2 days ago n had unprotected sex twice that nite and am now ...
A. 5 June 2008: Saying that - did you forget completely? Or did you take it within twelve hours? With this pill you get a twelve hour safety zone. if you took it within twelve hours of the time ur supposed to then it's a lot less likely that you're pregnant. If you ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant?
Q. ive been on cerezettte pill now for 9 months and have been wit my boyfriend for almost a year we r brilliant 2gether and hav talked ahead off rselves. althogh i 4got to take my pill 2 days ago n had unprotected sex twice that nite and am now ...
A. 5 June 2008: I'm on the same pill as you. But to be honest it's hard to tell. Did you know, sperm can survive like for a few days and you can actually conceive the day after you've had sex? So in this case, yes you could be pregnant. You also have to wait seven ... (read in full...)
Should I let my wife sleep with other men because I sleep with other women?
Q. Actually i like sex and i am having sex with many girls. one day my wife has seen me during sex with another girl. that time she did not say anything but right now she has also staret to have sex with her male guys. she do the sex in front of me and ...
A. 5 June 2008: I think you should respect your wife enough not to be cheating in the first place. If you did it first, how can you expect your wife not to react at all? If you're having sex with other people and think it's okay, then how can you have the double ... (read in full...)
I have really bad BO! Why is that?
Q. Why is it that after i take a shower i still smell? All over my body! Feet, underarms, and vagina? i have really bad body order! why is that! i take like 3-4 showers a day! ...
A. 4 June 2008: I agree with what everyone else has said, but i was always told that 'over cleaning' is bad. Like taking that many showers a day can actually be bad cos your body never gets used to being like the natural unclean that it shud be outside of the ... (read in full...)
Am I coming too much?
Q. i split last yr from my partner of 18 yrs now have a new one who has made me feel wrong when we have sex as when i reach orgasm in stead of just a trickle i gush and squirt everywhere could you please tell me is this normal...
A. 4 June 2008: It's obviously not normal for you - cos you never did it before, so it's okay to feel weird about it but don't let it make you feel wrong - it's natural and if it feels good it's okay. If your partner is okay with it too then it's okay. Some people ... (read in full...)
Why do people think we are stupid little girls if we fancy a teacher?
Q. i may sound VERY naive right know but i have to ask this question,why do so many of you call us stupid little girls for liking(loving) our teachers?? we cant chose who we love you know our heart does.what if we really do have feelings for them.and...
A. 1 June 2008: You're right. often we can't choose who we love. but then, some loves aren't meant to be and often cause more harm than good - this is the way i view relationships between students and teachers. it often ends in pain on both sides. That's why so ... (read in full...)
Are teenage girls so worried about pubic hair?
Q. Hello I was talking to my girlfriend about "stuff" yesterday and turns out that herself and most of her friends are all a little worried about how their pubes look, like how they shave them or how they don't shave them. Can any other women ...
A. 10 May 2008: Yeah I worried about it a lot. My friends worry about pubic hair and 'what to do with it' a lot. It's a bit crazy cos as far as i know guys don't really care much about it but hair on women is considered mostly taboo and we're brought up thinking ... (read in full...)
I know I'm wasting my life on this teacher...question is, how do I tear myself away?
Q. Hey Okay, where do i begin? I dont know what to do anymore, Its upsetting me and frustrating at the same time. Im in love with a teacher, I know that i cant be with him, I know the the age gap is too big a deal, I know tht he is the same as my...
A. 27 April 2008: To be honest, yeah it probably shows he was thinking about you. Lol but you did say you didn't want advice about whether he liked you or not and you wanted to know how to get over him - obviously spending time with him, walking to class with him and ... (read in full...)
Under what circumstances is a slap justifiable during an argument between spouses?
Q. Is it alright that a husband slaps his wife in the face during an argument? If so, under what circumstances is it justfiable?...
A. 22 April 2008: It's not. The only time I would ever accept it is if the other person hit first - and even then i find the actin disgusting.
Just as husbands should never slap their wives (or hit in any manner of physical violence) a wife should never hurt thei... (read in full...)
17 with a 25 year old boyfriend. How could he be done for statutory rape?
Q. Okay, I'm a 17 year old girl and I have a 25 year old boyfriend. We slept together and I really want to know how he could end up being charged for statutory rape. What kind of evidence do they need to support that crime. Could he get into trouble if ...
A. 20 April 2008: Oh i shud have mentioned, i picked one for parents on purpose - to help you see the way parents look at the situation from a law abiding side of things. ... (read in full...)
17 with a 25 year old boyfriend. How could he be done for statutory rape?
Q. Okay, I'm a 17 year old girl and I have a 25 year old boyfriend. We slept together and I really want to know how he could end up being charged for statutory rape. What kind of evidence do they need to support that crime. Could he get into trouble if ...
A. 20 April 2008: There's some good information on the following website -
http://www.parentalalert.com/
but i've not looked thru it all.
Basically, the way i was told about it - if you're below the age of consent for where you live (here it is sixteen) and... (read in full...)
Ever feel like everybody is moving on and leaving you behind and no one will give you a break?
Q. Does anyone ever feel like everyone around them has or is moving on and your left behind, and that they cant seem to get out of the life that u have but no-one else is willing to give you a chance i.e a job? xx...
A. 20 April 2008: Everyone feels like this at some point. What you need to realise is that everybody moves through life at their own pace. Stop comparing your position to the position of those around you. Maybe you've not had as many opportunities as they have, or ... (read in full...)
He drugged me and raped me, and now he wants me back, what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend of a year invited me over to his apartment for a drink, trusting him I said yes. But when I arrived there were no drinks, he came up behind me and drugged me to his bed where he raped me, until someone started banging on the door ...
A. 20 April 2008: Go to the police. I know it's a lot harder than it sounds but go to the police. I can't say it enough.
He violated you, raped you, drugged you - and yet you're just sort of letting him get away with it. If you let him get away with it, he will thin... (read in full...)
They both raped me and he still won't leave me alone.
Q. I had been dating this guy for a year, until about 3 months ago i broke up with him. He instantly started calling and harrassing me, asking me why I broke up with him and telling that he loved me and that he wanted me back. I told him it was over ...
A. 20 April 2008: This is awful. And i don't know where all these 'rape questions' have suddenly sprung up from but it doesn't sound like you've gone to the police.
This is disgusting - this should never happen to anyone so i urge you, seriously, to go to the poli... (read in full...)
He forced me onto the bed and hurt me, but I still love him. How do I learn to trust him?
Q. A few nights ago i was with my boyfriend and we had a fight. I got fed up with him and started egnoring him. That pissed him off worse so he grabbed me and forced me to look and him and he grabbed my arms really tight and it hurt and i screamed at ...
A. 20 April 2008: Okay so basically you're saying you WANT to trust a guy that sounds like the most untrustworthy guy ever?
if he did this to you then he doesn't care about you.
He basically said he would rape you whenever he wanted sex from you if you weren't ... (read in full...)
My Fiance broke it off with me because he said I have a lot of issues and I need to get them taking care of
Q. My Finance broke it off with me because he said i have a lot of issues and i need to get them taking care of. I doesn't make sense to me hes not helping me hes hurting me. Hes my push he stopped me from cutting. He takes all my pain away. I love ...
A. 18 April 2008: He wants you to get your issues sorted out - not prove to him how important he is to you.
The problem is, from experience I know that consciously being a person who stops someone else from self-harming puts such an immense amount of pressure on y... (read in full...)
Dating step uncle right or wrong?
Q. I have a freind who is dating her step uncle, they are not related by blood at all, but is it right? because i feel i should advise my freind on this!...
A. 17 April 2008: A step-uncle would be... your step-mother or step-father's brother rite?
In which case... it could be difficult because if things work out between them, she'll be dating her step-parents sibling.
I'm not sure it is such a good idea morally.... (read in full...)
How do I make my teacher kiss me?
Q. how can i get my teacher to kiss me or like be in a relationship with me as im in love with him and i would love to share a kiss with him. im 16 and im leaving in june and i want to share a kiss or more with him at the last day. ...
A. 17 April 2008: You can't. This is unrealistic. I don't understand why so many people lately are admitting to being in love with their teachers. You can't love a teacher, not real love because you hardly ever get to really know them.
I think you should move on a... (read in full...)
My boyfriend always wants to have sex, what should I do?
Q. What should i do?? My boyfriend always wants 2 have sex... And i dont wat should i do??...
A. 17 April 2008: Okay, there's not really enough information here. Have you had sex before? Or is he trying to have sex for the first time and being persistent?
Obviously this is a problem for you - so tell him. Just be outright with him and tell him you don't want... (read in full...)
Should I tell her that I think her friend is gay, as I don't want her to get hurt?
Q. My friend likes this guy and I think he might be gay because of the signals he has been sending her, among other things that me and other people find obvious but she thinks he might like her, and she really likes him. They have things in common ...
A. 17 April 2008: It's nice that you're concerned for your friend. Some girls have this problem - that they find themselves attracted to gay guys.
Maybe instead of blurting it out to her - cos she may take it the wrong way, especially if she has made this mist... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of having anal sex with a man so I can experience what my GF feels with me...
Q. I'm thinking of having anal sex with a guy so i can experience what my gf does with me .will i get the same sensation?...
A. 15 April 2008: Why are you going to have sex with another guy to get this sensation? Is your girlfriend okay with this? She could use a dildo on you, it would be basically the same thing. Or even a strap on. Just a thought.
And as for getting the same sens... (read in full...)
My boyfrind might be gay! What am I going to do? Can I make him straight?
Q. Im so worried My Boy Friends Gay, Im his first GirlFriend and he always used to get teased and called gay, and resently he told me hes not so sure him self! I dont know what to do! he says he loves me, but if he was gay i dont know how id cope ...
A. 15 April 2008: It's understandable that 'he's not sure himself' because if you're his first girlfriend, how is he supposed to know what he really likes? He's with you, that should be the first sign tht he's not gay.
Just because he was teased doesn't mean the ... (read in full...)
Can I hide having sex at 13 from my parents? Is it advisable?
Q. i want to have sex but my mom doesn't know that.i'm only 13 and want to have a baby.but also i don't have a boyfriend.how do i get a boyfriend and have sex at the same time without my mom finding out?...
A. 14 April 2008: You're 13 - too young to have sex. too young to have a baby.
Why do you want a baby? I don't advise having a baby. At 13? I dont think so. at 18? no. still too young. You've got the rest of your life to lead, you're a baby yourself, if you brin... (read in full...)
Will my boyfriend wait for sex if he truly loves me?
Q. Me and my bf are 5 yrs apart, and even though were in love, he tells me he can wait to have sex with me but I wonder if its true cause most guys I know won't wait. And how can we make are relationship stronger than what it is. Thanks ...
A. 14 April 2008: If he say's he is willing to wait, don't question it. Feel amazingly grateful and feel lucky that you've found a really decent guy who loves you for you and not for what he can get from you.
It's good that he's willing to wait, it shows how much... (read in full...)
Should I marry my cheating boyfriend? It's not like he gets away with it because I catch him every time!
Q. should i marry my boyfriend of three years? even though he cheated on me numberous times and lied about it and i caught him everytime....
A. 14 April 2008: What the hell? Why would you want to marry someone who cheats on you?
I suppose it depends on your reaction to it and your feelings about it. You don't seem very upset about it.
So you catch him - it doesn't mean he won't carry on doing it. Are ... (read in full...)
Will I get pregnant if I keep having unprotected sex? He pulls out!
Q. Me and my BF had sex lots of times without using condom but always when he wants to pull the sperm out he takes his penis out of me, I'd like to know how safe is this from not getting pregnant? I've had sex lots of times with him this way, and I ...
A. 14 April 2008: Okay first of all yes, if you don't use a condom, unless you're on the pill or some other form of contraceptive then yes, you can get pregnant.
Using the 'withdrawal' method as you are right now, leaves you vulnerable to getting pregnant from pre-... (read in full...)
I discovered the guy I was seeing had a GF all along, now I'm dating "some other guy" to make him jealous, any ideas??
Q. met this amazing guy thought everything was going really well, we had sex it was pretty good then I started to fall ''in love'' with him even though I dont even believe in love properly then all of a sudden i find out he had a girlfriend all alon...
A. 14 April 2008: She's not even good enough for him? What? so you think she deserves smething LESS than the scheming, cheating little idiot she's with now?
I'm sorry, but you saying that sounds ridiculous alright - ridiculously harsh and uncalled for. Why are ... (read in full...)
He broke up with me, I'm trying to move on after a broken heart, now he's trying to get close again. Why?
Q. I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years, before packing my bag to come to the US to be with him 6 months ago. The first 6 months were very stressful and challenging, as I learnt to adjust to the new environment, make friends, weat...
A. 14 April 2008: I think maybe he's feeling a bit guilty and trying to remain friends. I think he's going about it in a far too casual way whatever he's doing and maybe he doesn't realise how much it hurts you and that he's not helping you at all.
I think you shou... (read in full...)
Should I stay with him in these conditions?
Q. ok. my boyfriend and i have been dating on and off for four years. we use to agure alot. then when i moved to indianapaolis he started telling me to never talk to him again. he hated me. then when he found out that i might have been pregnan...
A. 13 April 2008: If you're worried and unhappy then leave. If he loves you MORE i'm taking this as a hint that he says he stil loves her. Do whatever you have to do to make yourself happy. If he's not taking in how you feel about him talking to your ex then maybe ... (read in full...)
Pain in my testicles after I see my girlfriend, is this normal?
Q. hey, i was just wondering, after I see my girlfriend, even if we do nothing sexual, my balls nearly always ache after. It is really inconvienient, and I was wondering is this normal? I'm worried. Thanks...
A. 13 April 2008: I have no real idea, but i'll take a guess anyway!
Even if you don't do anything sexual, do you still become aroused? It could be due to prolonged arousal or by tensing up around your girlfriend with nerves.
It could be psychological too. Tha... (read in full...)
Was our sex good enough? Am I pregnant?
Q. Me and My boyfriend of 8 months decided to have sex for the first time last week. It was both of our first times and i enjoyed it but i feel that i have let him down as he is 2 years older than me. I feel that i have ruined it for him but he says ...
A. 13 April 2008: Don't worry about if it was good or not. He enjoyed it. you enjoyed it. it takes practice - the more you obsess the worse off you'll be. just enjoy it and be open to learning. You can't expect to be amazing and perfect from the very start, your ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to realise that I want a mature relatioship?
Q. I'm in love with him sooooooo much. And now that things have settled down since he dumped me i know if i asked him out he would say yes. But there are 2 issues... 1.If people ever found out,because we have been out before and of the rumours we w...
A. 13 April 2008: It's okay to make him realise YOU want a mature relationship, but how do you know he does?
If the teasing is affecting him so much then he's obviously not grown up enough to handle a mature relationship and you can't push him into things that 'las... (read in full...)
He don't give me money,but I feel he should do that sometimes or buy me things
Q. dear cupid, i've been in a relationship for four months now with a young charming guy,he is 27 n very matured. i get scared sometimes cos of things i have experienced in my past relationships.he is very nice n caring also matured as well,but i fi...
A. 13 April 2008: okay.. so you think he should buy you things?
I've been with my boyfriend four months too. and i hardly even let him buy me lunch.
I think you're being a bit selfish. four months isn't very long. It's his money. you have your own money.
Have y... (read in full...)
I know I'm wasting my life on this teacher...question is, how do I tear myself away?
Q. Hey Okay, where do i begin? I dont know what to do anymore, Its upsetting me and frustrating at the same time. Im in love with a teacher, I know that i cant be with him, I know the the age gap is too big a deal, I know tht he is the same as my...
A. 6 April 2008: I've been through this. You love him for being so nice but hate him for everything nice because you don't want to love him. i never told anyone i ever loved my ex-secondary school teacher, or that the reason i cried so much on the last day was ... (read in full...)
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