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... Send *issKin a private message | | | *issKin's profile:Hi all. Have been using this site for a long time.
I'm in my mid 20's, in a long term relationship and have been with my significant other for over three years.
Hope to be able to provide fair and honest advice to people without judging. |
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| Latest articles: How to be secure in love...
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 October 2008: How to be secure in love... When you enter a relationship, it opens up hundreds, thousands of uncertain feelings. Little potholes in our sanity and they can easily make their ways into becoming tunnels. I was the most confident person in the wo...
Sex is a funny thing...
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 January 2008: I have recently started going out with a guy that I am CRAZY about. I really love him and our relationship has moved really quickly. We were close friends first and both rather secretive about feeling anything more for the other, afraid to ruin what ...
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My boyfried wont communicate!
Q. My bf and I took a long break but decided to try it again in Dec.My issue is he lives and works 2 hrs away. I haven't seen him in 3 months.I told him I need some form of communication (text,call,video chat)atleast once a day.Not for hrs at a time ...
A. 5 August 2017: You've got two children together???? He should be ashamed of himself. How often does he speak to them? Has he not seen them in months either?
Honestly sometimes you're better off without. He doesn't not sound like he is in love with you and isn'... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wont give me a BJ!
Q. My girl and i are in long distance relationship since the starting and we love and trust each other deeply. We do occasionally meet and have wonderful sex . Currently we are even planning to get married and get our parents involved . Now m...
A. 5 August 2017: Blow jobs do NOT equal love. Her unwillingness to give you one does not mean she does not love you. It's ridiculous. And don't use the excuse that you give it, so you should get it.
Have you even asked her if she likes them? I used to do things w... (read in full...)
My boyfried wont communicate!
Q. My bf and I took a long break but decided to try it again in Dec.My issue is he lives and works 2 hrs away. I haven't seen him in 3 months.I told him I need some form of communication (text,call,video chat)atleast once a day.Not for hrs at a time ...
A. 5 August 2017: Two hours isn't really THAT long a distance. Why have you not managed to see each other at least once a month? I used to have a bf who moved to uni and for three years we were 200miles and a 5.5hour train journey from each other and I saw him once a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend masterbated to porn next to me while I was sleeping
Q. Hello, so I woke up next to my boyfriend yesterday and noticed porn in his history, I was confused so I asked him why he had porn in his history and he said he fapped last night. I asked him if he did it right next to me and he said yes!!!! Is it ...
A. 29 July 2017: I think it's disgusting. You're not over reacting. You have every right to not approve of it. I wouldn't be happy about it. Masterbate when I'm not home, not when I'm home in a different room, home and in the bath - no.
Yea everyone has a righ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend being wise and protecting himself? Or is there more to the story?
Q. My boyfriend and I have a very happy relationship, we spend a lot of our time together, we go out, stay in, and we have a lot of sex and we're very affectionate towards one another. We are in the process of selling our houses separately and buying ...
A. 25 July 2017: We have just bought a house. My boyfriend had a £15000 deposit and I had £4000. That's a huge difference. We both own the same amount of the house. We agree that should we break up and it is still appropriate, we will make sure he has an extra ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my fiance and am looking at others because of the lack of sex in our relationship
Q. Looking for advice... I'm marrying my fiancé next year whom I've been with for 9 years. We've had our ups and downs over the years and he's not had much time for me over the past couple of years as he's been studying on top of his full time job. Thi...
A. 13 July 2017: How callous and heartless and thoughtless of you both to agree it is only a "one time thing" like that is any justification for what you did.
Cheating is cheating.
Leave your fiance if he isn't giving you what you want. He deserves better and y... (read in full...)
Is it that bad I really feel down about it?
Q. This is so silly but Ive been feeling really down about my friends accomplishments. One being; I've been learning to drive for a good while now and not booked a date for my practical test. My friend has just started (well not long started) and she...
A. 11 July 2017: Learning to drive is just one of those things that takes different people different times. It's okay to have a moment of "Oh I wish I was booking my test" or a little bit of jealousy but it's important to let it go quickly. You re your own person ... (read in full...)
Hes been exchanging suggestive messages with an ex ... should I break up with him?
Q. A few months ago, my boyfriend and I argued over a woman that he had been making sexual comments with on facebook. He said that he was joking, but I didn't think it was funny. She said she had a soft spot for him, then he mentioned a "hard spot" , ...
A. 7 July 2017: You sound so distressed and so unhappy. You obviously have trust issues which have not been helped by his complete lack of respect and his choice to think sending sexual messages to anyone other than his girlfriend is okay. It isn't about if he ... (read in full...)
I need him to be more adventurous in bed
Q. Well, my boyfriend and I have a decent sexual relationship. However, I wanted to try something different and interesting, but he wanted nothing of it. Most of the time when one of us wants to have sex or fool around, we dance around the subje...
A. 1 July 2017: I think what you're asking for is for it to be more spontaneous? As in, you don't want a discussion beforehand so you've given pre-permission.
Maybe you should talk to him about what HE might be comfortable with. He clearly isn't keen on what you... (read in full...)
I've never met this online date yet but his mother died. How do I approach this or help him?
Q. Hey, my online date im yet to meet has just told me his mum died last week . We have been talking a while but im going on holiday so we cant meet just yet . apart from the usual that would be said how else should i handle the situation i dont ...
A. 27 June 2017: There's nothing you can say. You just say you're there to listen if he wants to talk and you want to be there for him however you can. The reality is nothing you can do can change anything or help really. So don't beat yourself up. He needs to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't appreciate all that I do for him
Q. I'm wondering if I can get any help and advice. My boyfriend and I, have been together since January. We met on tinder and have been a strong unit since. He had a good-ish paying job, a nice car, a very sweet and cheeky nature, and is just plain ha...
A. 25 June 2017: You are still recovering from your sexual assault. You are suffering from a lot of mental health illnesses. You are also learning to live with the ones that will continue to be ongoing. You are living in supported accommodation on income support. ... (read in full...)
We don't want kids or pregnancy but husband is against abortion. Help!
Q. My husband and I never wanted children. I dislike children and the thought of being pregnant. He is fine with them but prefers not to have any of his own. We have always used condoms. I have never used any other kind of birth control. I do no...
A. 22 June 2017: Is it possible that he hasn't completely given up on the idea of having children? This is the only thing I can suggest as to why he would be against it. He obviously wants the option to remain open. If he was that against it he would be pushing for ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriends best friend trying to break us up? Should the relationship be put after his best friend?
Q. So this is a bit of a long story so I do apologise in advance. Back in December my boyfriend broke up with his ex girlfriend, then on a drunken evening on New Year's Eve he slept with his best friend, that was all it was to him. We are all part of a ...
A. 21 June 2017: I've actually been in this situation. It did not end well. You shouldn't have to put up with this. He should stand up for you and put his foot down with his "friend" but I bet that he won't. My ex didn't either. They basically cheated together but ... (read in full...)
14 months into the relationship, things aren't looking good, he is criticizing and we are arguing. What would you do?
Q. Help!!! I am sorry if this is a long post but I need some advice. where to start? ok, so about 14 months ago I met the man of my dreams. He is loving, caring and we have so much in common (or so I thought) we started off slow and then got into a ...
A. 18 June 2017: You said yourself you are enjoying going to bed alone, you are enjoying your space, you are your own person and you don't want the criticism.
Being in a loving, healthy relationship is about making each other feel good and inspiring each other to... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wanted to use an old tube of lubricant during sex but I got upset because he's used it with previous partners. Am I being silly?
Q. Hi Everyone, So I have a bit of an awkward question, but genuinely don't know if I'm overreacting and too embarrassed too ask friends/family. So my boyfriend of 1 year has had a tube of lubricant in his drawer for a while, I noticed it a whil...
A. 16 June 2017: I've never really been bothered by this. I guess if it was hygienically used I'd be fine with it but if you're not comfortable, is it really a big deal for him to replace it? Why don't you buy some and just replace it yourself? I'm sure if he ... (read in full...)
Why would a man of his age want to have an affair with a much younger woman?
Q. I am married and now having an affair with a man who told me he 70, but I did abackground check and hes 82!! My guess is he did not want to reveal his real age because I would have said no way. I really like him. I just think it's strange that a ...
A. 4 June 2017: I think it's strange that you're so concerned about this guys age but not about the fact that you're having an affair
I also think it's odd that you're lying to your spouse and sleeping around.
Maybe he didn't WANT to have affair with you spe... (read in full...)
How can I forgive my boyfriend for drunk cheating?
Q. My boyfriend and I have lived together since February, our one year is in a couple days. Last month he came home at 2:30 in the morning after drinking, he told me his car battery had died on his way home from work so he was stuck. i went through his ...
A. 25 May 2017: Why are you even still with him? :( poor you being treated so badly. You deserve so much better than this. He has shown how much he doesn't respect you or your relationship. He cared so little he gave you chlamydia. You can laugh with him until the ... (read in full...)
I know my friend's boyfriend is cheating on her but my boyfriend says I can't tell her
Q. Hi; I have a boyfriend who I love dearly and me and him are good friends with another couple who we go out with and see a lot. I am very good friends with the girl of the couple and he is very good friends with the boy of the couple although...
A. 25 May 2017: Your boyfriend sounds like a bad egg :( our friends show a lot about how we are ourselves. You are what you surround yourself with. I would be questioning his morals and what he thinks is okay.
Tell your friend, she deserves to know. If you want... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and I know my partner will want me to get an abortion
Q. Hi I'm very worried. Iv just found out I'm pregnant, I know my partner does not want any, we have two children already. I'm not sure what to do, he will want me to have an abortion but I don't believe in them. iv not yet told him, I don't know how...
A. 22 May 2017: It takes two to make a baby. If he really didn't want anymore then there is something he should have done about that. You should know each other well enough after two children to be able to talk about this. It concerns me that you're so worried ... (read in full...)
5 years with girlfriend, losing attraction, annoyed and frustrated
Q. I been with my gf nearly 5 years, we are still living apart due to money issues and our permanent jobs. But things have changed. I'm avoiding her because I feel like i can't really speak to her like I speak to the guys. For example, I mentioned I'm ...
A. 22 May 2017: You're not happy. You're bored. You haven't said a single positive thing about your girlfriend.
You could try to plan things, plan to go hiking together or take her away for the weekend and spend it swimming and snorkeling or skiing and play... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my son moving in with a girl after only 4 months
Q. My son is 22 and even though he is an adult I still worry about him. Over the weekend we got to met his new girlfriend, she is a sweet girl and someone I'm actually glad he is dating (his past few girl friends weren't my favorite) BUT I worry that ...
A. 16 May 2017: I think your concerns are legitimate. I would worry about the impact on the child. I know you should trust a mother's judgment of what's best for their young child but I know too many mothers who put themselves first. I would be concerned too.
T... (read in full...)
Am I selfish for wanting some intimacy?
Q. My Fiancee and I have been together for a few years now and at first we had a fantastic sex life but now we are down to having sex maybe once every couple of months if that. And even then she doesn't seem to be interested so neither of us enjoy it. ...
A. 1 May 2017: If the "other ways she's affectionate" was enough, you wouldn't feel this way.
It's difficult to imagine living without someone but imagine being in the pain you are in right now every day, for the rest of forever?
I just want to second that you... (read in full...)
Advice on how women feel about orgasms please?
Q. My question is for the ladies out there - do you need an orgasm to enjoy sex? Most women I've ever been with have said they don't so I always took that to be true, but the one I'm with now says she does want and expect an O every time... Now I fee...
A. 30 April 2017: Obviously I meant orgasm and not organ! ... (read in full...)
Advice on how women feel about orgasms please?
Q. My question is for the ladies out there - do you need an orgasm to enjoy sex? Most women I've ever been with have said they don't so I always took that to be true, but the one I'm with now says she does want and expect an O every time... Now I fee...
A. 30 April 2017: It's reasonable to expect to organ everytime. How would you feel if it were the other way around? What if it took you 20+ minutes of sex but she organs after five and wants to stop because a "quickie" was enough for her? Would that be fair?
S... (read in full...)
Should work always come first for my boyfriend, even in case of a minor medical emergency like mine?
Q. My boyfriend of one year works from home. We live together. He's the project manager of a small but successful company. He works at least 10 hours a day. I had severe stomach pains yesterday which came back this morning, so my boyfriend took m...
A. 18 April 2017: I think you're slightly overreacting in this instance. He shouldn't be at your beck ams call just because you woke up and he wasn't there - that sounds a bit petty and childish. If work came "first" he would not have even taken you to A&E. So please ... (read in full...)
I queried my husband about an App he has on his phone. Do I let it go or do I go deeper?
Q. My husband was checking his phone in front of me and I saw that he has a chat lock app. I asked him why and he said that he hates when I see his texts. I was like WTF, I have NEVER checked his phone or his WhatsApp chats. If he hands me his pho...
A. 17 April 2017: Oh.. That sounds incredibly suspicious. Are you sure there has been no previous trust issues or checking of his phone? If there really hasn't then I'd say he's up to no good :/ you shouldn't jump to conclusions but it doesn't sound good and it ... (read in full...)
Do I ask my friend for the rest of the deposit when she pulled out on me?
Q. Hi All, This is more regarding a friendship relationship but hope you can help! When organising my hen do abroad I asked who would be interested then set about arranging details for my friends who said yes. Before booking I continuley reco...
A. 10 March 2017: How irritating. I'd just ask them why they can't go to yours but can go on this other thing. The response might tell you if you need new friends. You can ask them for the deposit but if they were good friends I feel they'd have offered already. ... (read in full...)
I'm troubled by my boyfriend's spiteful side
Q. My boyfriend and I went on holiday recently and we missed our flight as we both got the return flight date wrong. We travel on the bus to the airport to see if we can get another flight. I had a leg injury. Our suitcase fell of the baggage ...
A. 10 March 2017: That IS spiteful and he was punishing you. It's a red flag in my book. Imagine how he'll react when something actually is all your fault?
Poor you. It's such a stressful situation and surprisingly easy to get wrong!
We all make mistakes sometime... (read in full...)
I text my bf on an alias phone pretending to be an admirer. And he fell for it.
Q. After forgiving my cheating bf who got me and another woman pregnant 5 yrs ago, i forgave him and we are now back together for the past year. i put up with him going to spend time with his son at the other woman's house of which sometime he sleeps ...
A. 14 January 2017: Surely you realise how insane this sounds? If you had to go to such lengths to catch him out then you really don't trust him and should just leave him. People in healthy relationships don't get alias phones and text pretending to be someone else and ... (read in full...)
Waiting for a proposal for 3 years and then the ring was not to my taste. Am I worrying about things that matter in this situation?
Q. Iv been waiting over 3 and a half years for a proposal for a wedding After much nagging about marriage I got a proposal with a 219 pound argos ring when he earns over 20 000 per annum which shows no saving as he bought even this on a per monthly ...
A. 1 January 2017: I think it says a lot about how much a partner knows you when they buy a ring. The ring they get also says a lot about them and clearly in this instance it has highlighted a lot of differences. If they get a ring you love, then this shows that they ... (read in full...)
Should I stay or go? If I walk away from this, then what if I never meet anyone else who will love me?
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend 3 and a bit years and we've lived together just over a year. We've just put down a deposit on our first home together and everything should be great but I have doubts. My boyfriend used to be so sweet an...
A. 18 December 2016: The fact that you're thinking about going gives a bit of a clue about what it might be best for you to do. Relationships do change and sometimes the spark goes but if you work on it this can be overcome. If he doesn't WANT to work on it then it is ... (read in full...)
How do I get over this rough patch?
Q. I feel so down today. I had no one to share it with so I came on here. I guess it's just a couple of things that have got to me. I have been working full time for a year, and this December within 3 days my whole months salary has gone leaving me ...
A. 3 December 2016: Sorry. Posted by accident.
I was saying, stop paying for everything for everyone. Stop buying your gfs presents. If she can't afford it that is her problem. You need to look after yourself a bit and you wouldn't feel as down. Don't be guilted into... (read in full...)
How do I get over this rough patch?
Q. I feel so down today. I had no one to share it with so I came on here. I guess it's just a couple of things that have got to me. I have been working full time for a year, and this December within 3 days my whole months salary has gone leaving me ...
A. 3 December 2016: Stop paying for everythong... (read in full...)
Why do so many men believe they have a right to sex without a condom?
Q. I'm sorry if this comes across as a rant but I'm really annoyed at the moment and looking to hear opinions around whether I've been unlucky or if what I'm experiencing is the norm. Why do the men I meet seem to think it's their right to get to ...
A. 30 July 2016: In a way this gives you a good standard for your partner to meet. Once you've found someone who cares enough that they will be willing to use a condom indefinitely, then you know you've found a good one.
I think you've very much encountered a bad ... (read in full...)
I feel like he doesn't even like me anymore so why does he want to marry me? And shouldn't he be reassuring me?
Q. So I've been with my bf for 8months now and we're already planning our wedding! Yes is too early I know:(. So we went to choose our rings and I chose one for him cause he couldn't choose a nice one. He told my mum I chose mine but I chose hi...
A. 13 July 2016: It is very quick for you to decide to marry and for you both to be having these issues. You hardly know each other. I would definitely say, do not get married. Spend the next four to six months getting to know each other. Find out if you really love ... (read in full...)
Are there people who just break up and feel happy and relieved and never think twice about their ex again?
Q. After being together for 2.5 years, I've finally beoken up with him yesterday. He called me last night thinking that I was just 'acting up'. As soon as I heard that he was still out, supposedly driving home at 1am, I didn't want to talk and ...
A. 11 June 2016: He hasn't messaged you because you told him not to. You can't then assume it's because he's already over it. But if he IS already over it, it's no longer your concern. Telling him not to contact you was the right thing to so if you're serious about ... (read in full...)
Is my cousin on the way to an addiction problem?
Q. Our grandfather was a drunk. The kind that drinks all night long with his friends, then comes home, cleans up and goes to work like nothing ever happened. He was verbally abusive to my grandmother but never to his children, who "only" got to witness ...
A. 7 June 2016: It's okay for her to drink. People do drink. And a lot of people drink more than they should. It becomes an addiction when it starts to interfere with everyday life and stops people from going to work or being around their friends and family.
I... (read in full...)
What would be causes of concern if your new BF said he had never dated before?
Q. So, I just started dating a guy, and I really like him. He is 29, dorky, cute, kind, compassionate, and we share a lot of the same interests. He is definitely a bit awkward. He confessed that he'd never been in a relationship before. When I as...
A. 5 June 2016: It's sad that you think you should be worried that he hasn't been in a relationship before. It doesn't mean anything was wrong. Maybe he is shy and never found a way to ask someone out. Maybe nobody liked him before the way that you do now. Maybe he ... (read in full...)
I'm disappointed with my girlfriend's weight and health, any suggestions?
Q. So we've been going out for a few months with this girl and in the beginning, we promised each other that we'll make lifestyle changes. I used to drink quite a lot before her and also smoked quite a lot. She was overweight (she should lose at l...
A. 18 May 2016: You've both started a relationship with people who you want to change. I realise you both agreed these things are what you want for yourself but the truth is you want to change each other and won't be happy with each other if those changes don't ... (read in full...)
How could people be so rude about my wedding?
Q. Hi, I don't know if I can post on here but I really need to vent and feel so upset. I got married in October and my husband and I were on a really tight budget, even though we had been saving for 2 years, making sacrifices and working every ext...
A. 10 April 2016: I think they're more "cruel" than just plain rude. Why do weddings bring out the worst in people? You can't invite only people who you want because family you never see and never hear from get upset and you have to have people's kids there or those ... (read in full...)
Blocked by my ex and his new girlfriend. How do I make things better?
Q. How do I make this situation better? My ex and his new girlfriend fell out with me big time. I tried to talk them round - but they didn't want to know. So I got annoyed and sent them 1 or 2 nasty anonymous text messages - but they guessed it was ...
A. 18 March 2016: Why do you so badly want to be a part of your ex's life?
You sent nasty messages? While you were trying to convince them you can be a better person? They have every right to not want to be friends with you.
I think you should just leave them alo... (read in full...)
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