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... Send *issKin a private message | | | *issKin's profile:Hi all. Have been using this site for a long time.
I'm in my mid 20's, in a long term relationship and have been with my significant other for over three years.
Hope to be able to provide fair and honest advice to people without judging. |
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| Latest articles: How to be secure in love...
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 October 2008: How to be secure in love... When you enter a relationship, it opens up hundreds, thousands of uncertain feelings. Little potholes in our sanity and they can easily make their ways into becoming tunnels. I was the most confident person in the wo...
Sex is a funny thing...
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 January 2008: I have recently started going out with a guy that I am CRAZY about. I really love him and our relationship has moved really quickly. We were close friends first and both rather secretive about feeling anything more for the other, afraid to ruin what ...
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What can I do to please my new boyfriend?
Q. So, i have a new boyfriend. and we have touched and rubbed each other. Mostly i'm the one that's being touched and rubbed, but he told me (in a nice respective way) that he'd like to get some pleasure too. But I don't know what to do. I'm not rea...
A. 12 March 2008: Ask him what he wants? In the same way he rubs you you can rub him in return. If you say what you're not ready for (as you have done here) and then ask him what you can do, i'm sure he'll be willing to help you out. ... (read in full...)
I don't feel anything masturbating...am I doing it right??
Q. This question is sorta embarrassing. Ive started masturbating lately, but i dont feel anything by doing so... am i doing it right?? IS there something wrong with me?....On the other hand when my bf does it i do feel something..(no, we havent had sex ...
A. 11 March 2008: Masturbation is different for everyone. i know someone who just can't get into masturbating on their own.
It's all about getting to know you're own body. finding out what feels good to you - if what you're doing isn't working, try something else... (read in full...)
We have been intimate but she does not let me see her down there, how can I persuade her?
Q. My girlfriend won't let me see her pussy and we have been doing sexual things for months just not full on sex and she still won't let me see, is this normal? how can i persuade her?...
A. 11 March 2008: It may seem strange to you but some girls are really shy about the way that area looks.
I'm still not comfortable with my boyfriend looking at that area and we've had sex and everything. It's just a feeling that guys are expecting something diff... (read in full...)
He said we'd practice more next time so I don't think he enjoyed it as much? How to improve it?
Q. Hi. I am 18 and a virgin and have been going out with my boyfriend for two months. The other night we got pretty intimate and it got a little awkward and i'd just like some opinions from you what i should do. I gave him a handjob and while he came i ...
A. 24 February 2008: Okay, i think the key thing to remember is that getting intimate should really involve talking to each other. You have to be willing to 'practice'. No one is ever really good at something before they start trying. ask him what he likes and let him ... (read in full...)
Is there any thing I can do to stop my periods?
Q. I don't know if anyone will have answer to this but... I hate having periods, i am 14 years old and i have had them since i was 11. I would say i am a fairly active teen, i horseride walk dogs everyday ect. But when i am on i can't ride or wa...
A. 24 February 2008: I know periods are a pain but you have to deal with them one way or another. There are several things you could do.. but because of your age, and because it takes a couple more of your teenage years to really balance out your menstrual cycle,... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and I'm pregnant by a 13 yr old. Can I be charged with rape?
Q. (i live in New York) If I am a 16 year old girl and I got pregnant by a 13 year old while I was drunk and I wanted to keep the baby could I be charged with rape? Also, if his family wanted me to keep the baby and live in their house with them and ...
A. 24 February 2008: It's unlikely that the parents will be about to accuse you of rape. However, the fact that you made this mistake makes me think that perhaps you're not mature enough to have a child. If the fathers parents are willing to let you live there, then ... (read in full...)
Can you answer my questions on sex please?
Q. Ok I am a 20 year old virgin in college which is tough. But I think my time may be coming. I have A LOT of questions (sorry, and thanks to anyone who reads it all) help on any would be appreciated. Anyways I hear all this about women having a hard ...
A. 23 February 2008: okay, i think you're worrying much too much.
The problem is, all women are different. Some enjoy being rubbed, some enjoy being licked and so on.
Having sex with someone you're in a relationship with makes it easier to ask "what would you like... (read in full...)
Is there any other way of stopping your period for a couple of weeks other than taking the contraceptive pill?
Q. Is there any other way of stopping your period for a couple of weeks other than taking the contraceptive pill?...
A. 20 February 2008: hmm there's like a herbal pill you can take. I'm not sure what it's done but I took it when i went away on holiday to make sure i didn't come onto my period - i think you come on as SOON as you stop taking it though and i think it can only be used ... (read in full...)
Does he WANT to see me or not?
Q. Ok so I feel like maybe my boyfriend doesn't want to see me. Please tell me your thoughts about what he said. I usually vist him during his work break a few times a week right and today I saw him and he said 'you can come visit me tomorrow if you w...
A. 20 February 2008: hmm i disagree with what some of the other answers have said. When i talk about meeting up with my boyfriend i always say 'you can if you want but you don't have to' because i really do want to meet up with him, but i want him to meet up with me ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wont go down on me
Q. My girlfriend and i have been going out for about 7 months. She has always said that she thinks sucking dick is disgusting. However she said that she has done it in the past to other guys. It is really starting to bother me everytime we talk about ...
A. 19 February 2008: you should respect her decision to not do it. If she's not comfortable doing it now, she never was - which means she's respecting herseld enough to tell you that she's uncomfortable with it instead of letting herself be forced into it. I think you ... (read in full...)
Is his watching horror films just a "bloke thing" or should I be a bit worried about my husband's state of mind?
Q. Dear Agony Aunts and Uncles, I have a question about horror films. My husband loves to watch them, including some pretty gory, ultra violent ones. I don't like them but I will watch them sometimes although I don't like the really bad ones....
A. 17 February 2008: This doesn't indicate there is anything wrong with his state of mind, but there has been a constant psychological debate about the effects of media violence on people's states of minds, but i do not suggest worrying about it. As for my own personal... (read in full...)
Planning first time sex. Does it hurt? If so, for how long?
Q. My friend and I have recently been talking about sex, A LOT. I am a virgin and he isnt. A few weeks ago, he asked me if I wanted to have sex, but I said no, because I wasnt ready. Now I am ready, and I have told him this. He is about 100 miles away ...
A. 16 February 2008: To answer your question directly: It hurts differently for everyone.
For my friend, it hurt her for the whole of her first time and then the next morning.
For me, I only really recently lost my virginity... it didn't hurt physically u... (read in full...)
What can I do?
Q. I have a problem with my boyfriend, I feel that he is going too fast for me I am constantly stressed out. I want a relationship with him but my mum and dad won't let me, they don't want me to see him but I do, I want to be there for him. He has a ...
A. 16 February 2008: i'm very sorry to hear about your nana. My grandad has Alzheimers too and it's really hard to cope with when a loved one has it. I wish i could offer you some support, but there's nothing i can really say. Sometimes there's nothing you can do and ... (read in full...)
Do Girls Really Like it When A Boyfriend Writes Them a Poem?
Q. I have a question for all you good natured girls? If I were to write a poem to a girl telling her that I wish she was mine; that, I would protect her; that, I would hold her in my arms when she is cold; that, I would wipe her tears away when she is ...
A. 16 February 2008: I think poems are lovely. They're not for everyone, and some girls will be embarassed by them (they make me SUPER shy, but i love it.) but deep down, i think all nice girls like traditional romance.
My boyfriend wrote me a poem for valentines day,... (read in full...)
I feel like I have made a fool of myself...and there is an age gap too...what should I do??
Q. Im 16 i have been talkin to this guy online; i added him on facebook. Anyway, his profile said 20 but i thought i'd add him anyway. Somehow theres been an error in my account and its been displaying me as 19. We got talking and really clicked....
A. 13 February 2008: The age gap isn't so bad, as long as he is going to treat you right. I'd also like to point out that you thought he was 20 and he is actually 23 showing that you can never be sure if people are who they say they are. you're probably going to get l... (read in full...)
I touch myself alot...would a guy be able to tell??
Q. Um, I'm just worried, I touch myself quite a lot and I know that's not really a bad thing, is it? But I just wondered, I'm a virgin but when I have sex for the first time will the guy be able to tell that I touched myself?...
A. 11 February 2008: Hmm, im not sure. I guess if you finger yourself or do other such things you may be a bit looser and your hymen (if it wasn't broken before and if you even had one) may be broken, but guys DON'T really notice that. My boyfriend finds it a turn on ... (read in full...)
Is it sex or baseball???
Q. When people say, have you gone past 3rd base with them, what does that mean? What's 1st and 2nd base?! Is there a 4th?! Haha I'm really confused about it. Could anyone englighten me?...
A. 11 February 2008: First base is kissing or french kissing,
second is touching/fondling,
third base is something in between fondling and sexual intercourse, oral sex would probably fall under third place or hand jobs etc.
fourth base is the homerun, as in - all ... (read in full...)
He says he likes it but he doesn't come. Is it me?
Q. This is getting me down... My bf says he loves recieving oral, but he just never cums... Why is this? Is it something I'm doing? Has he got a medical condition? What is it?!...
A. 10 February 2008: It's definitely not you and he probably doesn't have a medical condition. If you ask him why he doesn't ejaculate through oral stimulation (which you should) and he doesn't know but is happy to not finish, then you should be happy too. As long as ... (read in full...)
Is it bad to fake an orgasim?
Q. is it bad to fake an orgasim... even if doesnt know you are?...
A. 4 February 2008: It doesn't feel good to fake an orgasm does it? I think if you're having to 'fake it' you should re-establish communication with your partner and help them figure out what works for you. Faking it just means your partner will never learn what really ... (read in full...)
How do you give a hand job to an uncircumsized penis?
Q. this is quite a personal question but i am really desperate to have it answered so i hope someone will be able to. when you give a guy who is uncircumsized a hand job, do you just do it over their foreskin or do you roll the foreskin back or...
A. 4 February 2008: It's really nothing to worry about at all I promise you. You do it the same way as with an uncircumsized one. If you're not sure what to do, or what will feel good, ask the guy you're doing it to how he wants you to do it. You should never be shy ... (read in full...)
Is sex the first time painful?
Q. I am 14 and I want to know if having sex for the first time is sore because I am planning to do it soon. x Thanks If You Reply x...
A. 2 February 2008: Sex the first time is supposed to be quite sore but it's different for most people. The majority of the time it hurts for the girl, sometimes for the guy too but that is less talked about. Having a considerate partner can make the first time easier. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't come. How can I help?
Q. Apologies for this being so long, but I feel that background information could help a little. I've been with my current boyfriend for over 10 months now, and we both love and care about each other more than anything. I lost my virginity to him after ...
A. 29 January 2008: hmm ... I'm going to be guessing here.... like really guessing. When you say he 'came instantly' when he first had sexual contact. This can be embarassing for a guy and can hit them quite hard in the ego area. Some guys learn to safe-guard themselv... (read in full...)
I'm in a relationship with a man, but get turned on with lesbian porn!
Q. Hi, I am having a bit of an issue at the moment. I am in a relationship with a man but i seem to be really turned on by lesbian porn. I love it. When my boyfriend goes down on me I sometimes think he is a woman.. does this make me a lesbian. I don't ...
A. 28 January 2008: Everyone has fantasies. I enjoy fantasizing about lesbians and being with another woman but in real life, i don't find women sexually attractive and far prefer men and would never really do anything with a woman. There's nothing wrong with getting ... (read in full...)
We fell in love 5 months ago, now he wants to end it, why?
Q. hi i met a wonderful man 5 months ago and the way we met we both believed it was fate. we clicked straight awy and fell in love he was always making me feel spcial telling me how much he loved me that i was the best ting to ever happen to him. we ...
A. 28 January 2008: Often we rush into relationships with "I love you"s and "forever and ever"s flying all over the place.
The brutal truth is that some loves don't last. That doesn't make them any less special.
If he doesn't feel like talking about it. there is nothi... (read in full...)
I pulled away from a threesome. Should I go back and go with the flow?
Q. Hello, this is kind of a last resort because I know my friends would not understand. I am 15 and I am not eager to lose my virginity. Last night, I was with two friends (girls 14 and 16) in a bed and they both tried to touch me in a sexual way, I ...
A. 28 January 2008: Respect from mates is a bad reason to lose your virginity. You're also under age, and so is the fourteen year old - make sure it's what they really want to. Make sure you use protection and that you're not going to get anyone pregnant or catch ... (read in full...)
What is trust?
Q. How do you build trust? Is it just given or does it have to be earned? My girlfriend has cheated on me and i'm thinking about giving her a second chance. But aren't you core beliefs like not lying set in stone from childhood. I'm confused, what is ...
A. 28 January 2008: Trust is a fluid concept that changes from person to person. Trust is usually being able to have faith in a person to never do you wrong, to feel you can rely on them for anything and knowing that they feel that they can come to you with anything. ... (read in full...)
Met a wonderful girl! 3 months in, we are both virgins. Where do I go from here?
Q. Hello! Last September I met a girl and we have been going out for 3 months now, she is everything I have ever wanted. We have been on a few dates and have hugged/kissed and that's about it. I am 21 and she is too, I would just like to know where I ...
A. 28 January 2008: Where do you go from here? You should be asking yourself and each other this question. Where do you want to go from here? You haven't talked about sex, which is the first issue. If you're going to move in that direction it has to be a mutual d... (read in full...)
How do I get over the stupid things I did when I was depressed?
Q. A year ago I sunk into depression and had to take 6 months off college to recover. I'm sure other people who have suffered from depression would be able to relate when I say 'I wasn't myself'. During this time I did some incredibly stupid things, ...
A. 28 January 2008: Is he really disgusted by it? You may be misinterpreting his actions.
Lets address the issue of you still having the texts on your phone. this is like keeping the past in the present. i suggest deleting them. sort of cleansing them from your phys... (read in full...)
I am thinking about going on anti-depressants...any advice??
Q. I have been depressed off and on for some years and am thinking about going on an anti-depressant. What have you heard? Any suggestions? I know that most of them have the same side-effects. I was on Prozac before and it didn't work out. I know this ...
A. 25 January 2008: First of all, whatever you decide to take, make sure it's properly prescribed through a qualified GP/Doctor. Secondly, I'm a strong believer that medication doesn't work well, at least not on it's own - if you're depressed i'd suggest counselling of ... (read in full...)
Wetness, is it normal?
Q. ok quick question! is it normal to get wet when a guy touches me? and its not even in a sexual way. i think this is the reason i am still a virgin cause i am embarrassed about this!! please someone answer this "silly" question! thanks too!!...
A. 17 January 2008: Yep! It's perfectly normal as the other people have said.
I have this same issue lol. I was a bit weirded out at first, since I seemed to be physically turned on even though i didn't have a reason to be.
It's nothing to be embarassed about bu... (read in full...)
Do some girls enjoy emotionally hurting guys and using them?
Q. Well she had recently been ignoring me and i had been wondering why she had been doing this. It was really upsetting me so i tried ignoring her to get her to realize how much it botherd me, nothing changed. Well i had till now been waiting for...
A. 17 January 2008: First of all, to answer your question...
"Do some girls enjoy emotionally hurting guys and using them?"
Yes. Some girls do. Some girls are that evil. So are some guys. That's the unfortunate truth about humanity i'm afraid. Though, the majority... (read in full...)
Worried my gf's good looks will go down the tolilet! How do I tell her this?
Q. Hi, I have been seeing my girlfriend now for about 9 months, when we 1st met, she blew me away- nice personality, beautiful looks, a great smile and a lovely body. She has just started using the pill, I said I would use condoms but she wants to use ...
A. 16 January 2008: Hmm you don't want people to say 'looks don't matter?' That's my answer out then...
I suppose the way to approach it would be to talk to her about it. Most girls would hope that you would love them despite the fact that their looks may go a bit ha... (read in full...)
I'm annoyed with my mom. What should I do?
Q. I'm so annoyed. My mum phoned me tonight at half 9pm. I'm 14 and she wouldn't let me stay out any later. She wouldn't let me sleep at my friends house. She has annoyed me so much I'm going to ignore her until she lets me stay out later. All my other ...
A. 14 January 2008: I think by behaving in such a way you're showing you're not mature enough to be allowed out any later than that. Regardless of your mother's reasons for her restrictions you should respect her wishes. Ignoring her won't make things any better, they ... (read in full...)
I feel shy and ugly--how can I make myself feel better?
Q. i am in year 10 and am 14 years old and i feel my life is going down hill i have lost my ipod my best freind of 10 years is moving to canada i feel ugly the boy i like is madley in love with another girl i am shy i feel i have a rubbish lif...
A. 14 January 2008: Mandy has written a good answer so in short i'm going to put "Make yourself feel better by focusing less on what's gone wrong and more on what's gone right." and if you can't think of anything, start doing stuff to make good things happen and ... (read in full...)
How do I offer to pay for half of our dinner date?
Q. I've recently started dating this great guy. We went to the movies last week and he paid for that (he bought the tickets beforehand so I didn't really have a say). Now we are meant to be going out to dinner later this week, and I don't want him to ...
A. 14 January 2008: I think the idea of 'leaving money in his car' is slightly out of the box per say.
I suggest offering to pay for half of the dinner, and if he refuses to let you - then accept that.
I won't let my boyfriend pay for ANYTHING, EVER, and it's dri... (read in full...)
I'm scared and confused to go further - but I want to...
Q. Hiya I'm 15 years old and I'm so confused, scared about doing things with guys... The furthest I've been is him just messing about down below but over the trousers if that makes sense? I like this guy and I want to go further with him but I'm scar...
A. 14 January 2008: Hey! Most people will totally see where you're coming from and I got exactly what you mean about everything.
The best way to get what you both want out of what comes next is to talk about it. Be as open as possible. Tell him you want to go a litt... (read in full...)
How can I get over not talking when I am out with friends??
Q. I seem to have the same problem this year. I'm at a new school and i'm friends with all the popular girls and they are all really outgoing and i am when i'm around people not in that group. So last night i went out with a bunch of them and i fo...
A. 13 January 2008: It could be a confidence thing. It could also be because you actually have nothing to say. Maybe you belong with different girls or maybe you're just a quiet person. It could be anything.
You could learn to talk with one or two members of the grou... (read in full...)
Is it ok to wait til your 18 to lose your virginity or do anything sexual?
Q. is it ok to wait til your 18 or so or at uni to lose your virginity or do anything sexual (other than kissing)? p.s i live in uk where everyone has sex before 16 [rolls eyes] id like everyones personal oipinions please, also not "don't be press...
A. 13 January 2008: Yes. It's perfectly fine to wait until you are 18 or even 25 to have sex for the first time. Some people rush into it and regret it and some people are ashamed about being virgins at or after 16. I live in the UK too and I know what you mean. Th... (read in full...)
What is the best way to get a girls number??
Q. I'm 15 and i like this girl thats sits next to me in Spanish class. I talk to her a little more every time i see her. So i want to get her number but i don't really know how. What is the best and easiest way to get a girls number? ...
A. 13 January 2008: Rather simply put, get to know her a bit and then ask for it. Maybe having a reason to ask for it would be best. Perhaps, since you're in Spanish together, you could ask if you could have her number in order to ask for her help if you get stuck... (read in full...)
I am falling out of love with my bf and want to break-up but he says if we do he will hurt himself. Please help, I feel trapped.
Q. I'm 14 years old and me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost 4 months 2 day. I really do love him but i'm not sure if we should stay together. he's really great but i feel like i'm falling out of love with him. He says he loves me but h...
A. 13 January 2008: You begin by saying you 'really do love him' and follow it up with 'you think you're falling out of love with him' aswell as 'you think you shouldn't be together'. I think it's obvious that you're rather confused about how you feel. Make sure you... (read in full...)
How do I build my confidence and become less irritating??
Q. Are some of us meant to be alone all our lives? I'm 20 and I have had 1 or 2 girlfriends but they have only lasted a few weeks. I see other people with boyfriends and girlfriends and I think, they seem great together I wish I could have that. I know ...
A. 13 January 2008: I'm going to overlook the 'become less irritating' factor for the most part, as I believe this is part of your low self-confidence. Other people may or may not find you irritating and perhaps there are parts of your personality that you need to ... (read in full...)
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