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After 7 years together how much does the average couple have sex?

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Question - (5 June 2014) 8 Answers - (Newest, 6 June 2014)
A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi there

I am just about to move in with my boyfriend of 7 years.

I just wonder really how often on average couples who have been together this long have sex?

We hardly do anymore. Maybe once or twice a month at the moment.

Half the time I can't be bothered, this may be due to my anti depressants but my bf doesn't seem bothered either.

It concerns me a little as it doesn't seem like a lot at all.

I do miss the passion but half the time the energy just doesn't seem to be there from either of us.

Help!

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A female reader, PeanutButter United States +, writes (6 June 2014):

PeanutButter agony auntFirst of all I don't agree with the poster who said that it goes downhill after a week or that men are the ones looking elsewhere, it can happen to anyone and women do stray too and many relationships remain passionate with the right person long after the first week!

Having said that! We have been married 8 years, 4 kids, lots of stressed, lived through 2 house guests and opposite work shifts and even long distance and we still have sex at least once a week - though the longest gap we hate lately was 2 months seeing as we haven't long had our 4th child and our work shifts are currently opposite and so that was quite rough - but, if the will is there, you find a way!

I can understand how it feels not to want to get any when there are other people in the house! It was night on impossible to get a quiet moment with all our kids and the relatives we had staying here last year but, again, we made sure we both knew we were wanted and we made it work in other ways!

Sex is no the be all and end all in a relationship but you do have to be on the same page and so whether it is once a month, twice a year or every day, just make sure it is the pattern that you BOTH want and you'll be great! There is no set rule, just as long as it works for you! :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2014):

Hi,

I'm male 47, wife 52. We have been married 5 years, (wife was married previously.) We average about 3 times a week.

But holidays when we have no work or time commitments we do it more. Thank you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2014):

I am the questioner!

I spoke to him last night and he said he gets worried (because we live with our parents) about people walking in, noise etc

When we last went on holiday we probably had sex most nights.

I think things will be OK once we have our own privacy!

Thanks for your answers!

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (6 June 2014):

My wife and I have been together 7 years and have sex once a week or so. Up until a year ago is was more but we've both been busier and it's becoming a little routine, something I'd like to work on as we used to have such an amazing sex life. Kids though....

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A male reader, dougbcoll United States +, writes (6 June 2014):

dougbcoll agony aunt every relationship is different, all i can do is give an example of my marriage. the early years of marriage was not the amount of love making i desired. i was lucky if we did it once a month by our 4th year.

as time went on things have gotten much better with time. we have now been married 31 years and our love life is on average 8 times or more a month.

needless to say i was very frustrated in our early years of marriage.

over the years we have grown closer to each other, we have become one. so has our love life. it takes two people with love toward each other, working together through the good times and the bad.

commitment and giving a 100% , even when the other is not giving at all. the main thing is giving and commitment, not giving up. a relationship can grow stronger. so does the love life, and sex gets better with the years.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2014):

Im 46. Been with wife for 8 years. Have sex 4-6 times per week.

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A male reader, Mark1978 United Kingdom +, writes (6 June 2014):

Mark1978 agony auntAre you sure moving in together is the right thing to do? Your depressed, he cant be bothered...! What is the rest of your relationship like, away from sex?

Mark

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (6 June 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntAfter the first week or so of being passionate, things go downhill fast. All the guys I know agree that after a year if you have sex more than once a month you're pretty lucky, every year thereafter it gets to be less and less frequent until the 30th year whereupon most wives give it up alltogether anf husbands begin looking in other places.

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