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*lifton

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Undergraduate degree in Psychology, minor in Sociology. Currently obtaining a Law degree.

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Should I change my style of dress for my boyfriend who says I'm too old to wear certain things ???

Q.   I just recently found out that I am the oldest women my boyfriend has ever dated minus his ex wife who was 5 years older than me. I have been dating my boyfriend 6 months and he has already said he loves me and I don't doubt that he dose , but I ...

A.   4 October 2014: First of all, are you kidding me?? You can't compete with a 21 or 22 year old?? Woman, please! Being 30 means you're still incredibly young! Yet just old enough to be mature, unlike these other babies he has dated in the past. 30 is NOT old. Get ... (read in full...)

Would he ask me out if he isn't really interested?

Q.   What is going on with this guy?. Someone I know is having an operation this week. He has cancer. He is in hospital at the moment. One of his friends sent me a text message yesterday saying that he hopes his operation will go well ,and I said I ...

A.   30 September 2014: He likes you based on physical attraction. He finds you attractive and that's the basis of his asking you. No, he wouldn't ask you out if he wasn't interested. He wants to get to know you. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend went out with a female coworker and I didn't like it. Should I go out with a male to see how he likes it?

Q.   Last night my boyfriend told me that he had a super nice dinner with a co-worker/friend because they were leaving. He then told me how the waiter thought they were engaged and he laughed and told me how he said no. Wait what? The friend was a gir...

A.   18 September 2014: What honeypie said. Never hold something against someone for something someone else did. Your ex cheated on you. He is not your ex. It's time to remember that. It's not fair to compare him to someone else. I think it would be childish to get back... (read in full...)

My heart wants to forgive him, I want this man in my life. My head says he's a scumbag.

Q.   I want to tell you all my situation. I have previously told about this but I left out key details as I didn't want you to tell me to leave him or that I was stupid. I am 21 years old, trainee doctor with a loving and secure family. I met my...

A.   17 September 2014: That's a tough one. It truly is. The thing that is so heartbreaking about cheating is that despite the act being devastating, and completely wrecking to your heart, it doesn't make you magically stop loving the person. So you go on loving them, ... (read in full...)

Why does he get angry when I question him about a girl I know has a thing for him?

Q.   Hi everyone! I would like some opinions on this! Me and my boyfriend have been together for five years, we did take a 7 week break over the Christmas period due to personal issues. In that 7 week period I was introduced to a friend of a friend,...

A.   16 September 2014: I think you're thinking way too much into this and making a big deal out of nothing. Whatever happened, the girl was just being a pain in the ass. Your boyfriend doesn't seem to give two shits about her and just thinks she's annoying. So why cause a ... (read in full...)

Do I tell him I still love him? Or do I play the friend card, accept that things are how they are and try and move on?

Q.   I recently got back from travelling overseas for a year, and have caught up with my ex boyfrend who I was with for 2 years. We have been broken up for a year and a half. I have thought about him every day since I have been gone, he was the love of ...

A.   15 September 2014: I feel like he's still interested and possibly wants to rekindle, and that's why he keeps bringing up the past. He's not over it. If I were you, I'd confess my feelings and go from there. Worst case, he rejects them and you learn to become friends. ... (read in full...)

If you've never had a girlfriend, does it get more hopeless the older you get?

Q.   If a guy is past a certain age and never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, should he just accept and deal with the fact he will never get a girlfriend? Because the older a guy gets and is inexperienced, the more of a turn-off it becomes to women, ...

A.   14 September 2014: Confidence is the single most important thing when attracting women. I should know - I am one and I happen to date them, also. Lol. And I'm not the most attractive person in the world. I'm certainly not ugly but I have dated women who are very, very ... (read in full...)

My B/f said he was 'glad' that I had found out about his cheating as it has really shaken us and allowed us to see what we were neglecting in our relationship. What did he mean by that?

Q.   Hi everyone, I just want some opinions or insight into this. Me and my boyfriend have been together 5 years, everything was amazing until around may. We started arguing all the time, we couldn't even look at each other without it erupting into an...

A.   14 September 2014: He means that he's glad something so positive could come out of something so negative. That you guys were in such a bad place, and you both have woken up and realized just what you needed to fix. Without that, it may never have been fixed. It wa... (read in full...)

If you've never had a girlfriend, does it get more hopeless the older you get?

Q.   If a guy is past a certain age and never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, should he just accept and deal with the fact he will never get a girlfriend? Because the older a guy gets and is inexperienced, the more of a turn-off it becomes to women, ...

A.   14 September 2014: You're probably right. You will probably never get laid and have a gf. Why? Because of your terrible attitude and bitterness. All that pessimism and negativity is a humongous buzz kill - for women AND men alike. No one wants to be around a person ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend dumped me by disappearing, should I give him a piece of my mind or just leave him alone?

Q.   I was dating my boyfriend for about 5 months (not long). I'm 18 and he's 22. He hasn't spoken to me in a week now. I've been very worried that something happened to him (that he was in the hospital or maybe even dead) so I've been texting and...

A.   20 August 2014: I think she gets that the relationship is over .. she was just asking if she should give him a piece of her mind or just back out without a word. If I were you, I'd just tactfully back out and not say anything. I know how hard that is when all... (read in full...)

My fiance accuses me of cheating.

Q.   My fiance of four year has accused me of sleeping around. I have given him my undivided attention within the 4 years we have been together. He suffers from depression and iv been there always through his ups and downs. I cannot exept theses ...

A.   19 August 2014: As someone experienced with dating someone who suffers from bouts of depression, it's possible these accusations stem from his feeling that he's not good enough for you. When someone is suffering from depression, it's often times easy to get down... (read in full...)

My temper got out of control. How do I show my g/f that I would never hurt her?

Q.   I've been dating my gf for almost four years now. Last night we all went out to a pub and got drunk afterwards we came back to my apartment. Everyone was having a good time so I'm not sure who things turned so bad. Apparently my gf and I went I t...

A.   10 August 2014: You don't have to be an asshole every day. You only have to he an asshole one time for it to absolutely unacceptable. You said your anger isn't always directed at your gf. You missed everything I said about your anger not having to be directed... (read in full...)

My temper got out of control. How do I show my g/f that I would never hurt her?

Q.   I've been dating my gf for almost four years now. Last night we all went out to a pub and got drunk afterwards we came back to my apartment. Everyone was having a good time so I'm not sure who things turned so bad. Apparently my gf and I went I t...

A.   9 August 2014: You do realize it's not normal to punch and break things just cause you're mad? You said you went through the apartment fixing all the holes and cracks. My God, how many of them do you have? What on earth makes you so angry, that you do this? ... (read in full...)

Am I overreacting or is he just not that into me?

Q.   I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. I feel like he’s just not that into me. He’s been in florida for over 2 weeks now, but I’m always the one calling/texting him. This isn’t the first time that this has happened. He goes down to Florida to ...

A.   31 July 2014: I'm not going to say you're over reacting, as your feelings are your feelings. For me? I can relate to your bf. I think he's just relaxing and enjoying his family and his down time. I'm the same way. I don't need a phone call all the time to feel ... (read in full...)

How do I get my BF to take the next step?

Q.   I am caught in limbo and need help. My boyfriend of a year and a half has been stalling for months now about the "next step". When I first brought it up at 8 months, he said he needed a year before he could consider things. At a year and 3 months, ...

A.   31 July 2014: Because you're pushing him. I can love someone with my whole heart and still not be ready to marry them yet. Just respect that he's not ready. ... (read in full...)

Do a lot of people misinterpret politeness as flirting?

Q.   Do a lot of people misinterpret politeness as flirting? I hate it when I'm friendly to people only to have them act cold. I smile at people passing by while out in public. Sometimes I'll get a scowl in return, usually from women. Men just look aw...

A.   30 July 2014: Honestly, I think it depends on what part of the country you live in. I live in the south and everyone smiles at you and says "hello" or "how are you?" when they pass by you. Up north, my experience is that people are much less openly friendly. ... (read in full...)

My fiancé keeps trying to take nude photos of me without my consent!

Q.   Okay, so we were on vacation and hot at it and my significant other (my fiancé) got up from the bed, then all of a sudden I saw a flash in the dark room and he took a picture of me nude and then he wanted to take closer pictures of my body parts. I ...

A.   30 July 2014: Oh wow. At first, I thought you might be overreacting, as I thought maybe he just wanted to capture a pic when he thought you were particularly looking hot. I've done this before. Just watching my partner change, I've asked if I could snap a pic or ... (read in full...)

How do I get my BF to take the next step?

Q.   I am caught in limbo and need help. My boyfriend of a year and a half has been stalling for months now about the "next step". When I first brought it up at 8 months, he said he needed a year before he could consider things. At a year and 3 months, ...

A.   30 July 2014: "So - what's the quickest way to get what I want? (a proposal)" Are you serious? Are you really asking for advice on the best way to go about how you can manipulate your bf into marrying you? The way you phrased that question made me cringe a... (read in full...)

My B/f's having a relationship with another girl who I was led to believe was his ex, I snooped though his texts and guess what I found?

Q.   Hey all so I've been dating this guy going on 3 months we started dating while he was in another relationship. The relationship was serious he and the girl he was with had been together a year and 3 months and they lived together. Any way I was so...

A.   30 July 2014: You need to get away from this guy asap. What do you even see in him? He's a liar and a cheater. why would you even want to make that work? Who knows what the reality is with his "ex" or with what he plans to do in regards to you. He's jus... (read in full...)

He was prosecuted for domestic violence and now lives in a hostel. So why do I still feel so lonely without him?

Q.   I have been married for 25 years i have an 18 year old son. When i first got married things were great then about a year into our marriage signs of my husbands bad temper started to show. I didnt worry too much at first. Then he started smas...

A.   30 July 2014: Of course he could be nice. That's the cycle of abuse. If you haven't read about it, I encourage you to do so. Many abusers can be absolutely charming. They woo you and make you feel incredible. They can seem like the nicest and most genuine ... (read in full...)

Am I being selfish? Or is my reluctance to share information with her due to her need to compete with me?

Q.   Hi everybody, I am a nursing student soon to qualify and I have decided that I want to go down the route of medicine. I have researched the course and contacted the university. I have paid for the upcoming GAMSAT examination and started ...

A.   30 July 2014: "I also know if I told her and did not get offered a place she would thrive off of it and use it to her advantage." "I also don't think she would allow me to forget about my failure if I did not get accepted to the course." Do you see what you... (read in full...)

Mother-in-law's name for the baby's middle name?

Q.   Background: SO and I have been together almost a decade. We are married and expecting a baby (our first) in 4 months. A few questions: Would you be okay with giving your baby MIL's name as their middle name IF... ...your MIL has in th...

A.   29 July 2014: Then again, I wouldn't be married to Mr. Gayhater. I'd be married to Mrs. Gayhater. And there really are no set rules for last names when it comes to gay people. I think it's safe to say that if that were to ever be the case, and I was marrying the ... (read in full...)

I'm the lonliest guy in the world ...

Q.   Hello everybody, I am a 17 year old guy who is extremely lonely. I am 6'5" tall and I'm not bad looking. I just graduated high school, I have friends, I have family, but I've never had a girlfriend, and I am pretty much the lonliest guy in the w...

A.   29 July 2014: Well, if you have friends and family, at least you're not alone in the world. That's something to be optimistic about. What do you mean you had everything you ever needed until now? What changed? I didn't have my first real relationship unt... (read in full...)

Mother-in-law's name for the baby's middle name?

Q.   Background: SO and I have been together almost a decade. We are married and expecting a baby (our first) in 4 months. A few questions: Would you be okay with giving your baby MIL's name as their middle name IF... ...your MIL has in th...

A.   29 July 2014: Lol Mr. Kukluxklan.... (read in full...)

Mother-in-law's name for the baby's middle name?

Q.   Background: SO and I have been together almost a decade. We are married and expecting a baby (our first) in 4 months. A few questions: Would you be okay with giving your baby MIL's name as their middle name IF... ...your MIL has in th...

A.   29 July 2014: @cindy Making a reference to the last name was just for emphasis. I realize what you're saying lol. People say to take the high road or to compromise. I'm one of the most compromising people (to a fault) I know. But I also believe that unl... (read in full...)

I'm in a relationship but it's not feeling like one!

Q.   When we first went out 3 years ago, everything was perfect. He tried his best to do what ever he can just to make me happy but because I don't mind anything and he kind of stopped doing because he said I don't really mind anything he does and I'm ...

A.   29 July 2014: "Is this normal in a relationship or am I asking too much from him?" No, it's absolutely not normal. He openly admits that when he is away, he shoves you to the back if his mind and doesn't bother to make you a priority. And that is absolute... (read in full...)

I feel like I've rebuilt myself from the ground up and am ready to explore a new relationship. How do I convince friends and family not to worry?

Q.   I'm needing some advice on how to handle a new relationship situation which has honestly got me stumped. About 3 months ago I came out of an abusive long term gay relationship. The abuse was mostly emotional but there were tmes when it crossed ...

A.   29 July 2014: First of all, congratulations for having the strength to leave the relationship. Many people really struggle to find it within themselves to actually get away from an abusive partner. So that's great. Second, it makes perfect sense that you were... (read in full...)

Mother-in-law's name for the baby's middle name?

Q.   Background: SO and I have been together almost a decade. We are married and expecting a baby (our first) in 4 months. A few questions: Would you be okay with giving your baby MIL's name as their middle name IF... ...your MIL has in th...

A.   29 July 2014: I wouldn't want to name my child after someone racist. Period. But I feel incredibly strongly in that regard. I would not want my baby to be named after (first, middle, or last) a person who made extremely derrogatory remarks about who I was as a... (read in full...)

My grandparents play favorites and I'm fed up!

Q.   This is very long. It's getting harder for me to hold in my feelings. My family have always had problems. My grandparents always like to play favorites with their grand kids. There were three of us and they treated Emily much better. Babysitting, ...

A.   29 July 2014: I can somewhat relate to this. But not remotely in the way my brother could. My brother, who was 31 at the time, was in a very unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship with a woman for about a year (not married). The woman became pregnant and had ... (read in full...)

I really want her to feel appreciated and loved.

Q.   Ok. So my girlfriend went to stay with her best friend last week. They have been close for 5 years and it turns out last week he told ger that he was in love with her. We have been together for 7 years and when she came back there was a huge...

A.   29 July 2014: Of course, it's impossible to know how she's really feeling, as I don't believe she even knows what she's feeling at the moment. One thing seems to be certain - she is inching away, as the others have pointed out. That doesn't mean all is lost.... (read in full...)

Non stop unresolved arguments

Q.   For the first year or so of our married life was great but now we are plagued by frequent enflamed arguments which cannot be resolved. The rows often come out of the blue and the cause is unknown. I cool down after a few minutes and my feelings are ...

A.   28 July 2014: I think tjags fantastic. Good luck. ... (read in full...)

Is there anything I can do to get this relationship back on track?

Q.   I met a woman on a dating site and we hit it off so well we that we took our conversations offline and started texting. After a week she deleted her account on the dating site and I just never bothered with mine again. After 2 weeks we had arr...

A.   27 July 2014: I think at this point, all is probably lost. Realistically, I can't necessarily say I blame her. She didn't owe you anything. You two hadn't even met yet. You were two strangers who messaged online, and then texted for a week. That's it. I wouldn't ... (read in full...)

Should I ask out the 22 year old woman I'm interested in?

Q.   Hi I'm a 31 year old guy, 2 months ago I split up with a 23 year old. Now I've met a 22 year old who I like but I'm worried she is too young for me so I haven't asked her out yet. I got the impression from a few of my friends and family tha...

A.   26 July 2014: I don't see anything wrong with asking her out. It's not pervy because it's very much legal. She's very much an adult in the eyes of the law and society, as a whole. The only potential issue I see here is maturity. Being in your 30's, you're g... (read in full...)

Did I miss the boat? Should I reply to his message brushing me off?

Q.   I'm not sure what to do about this. I contacted a guy last night. I only met him once and it was a while ago. I had a night out with a friend and I met him then. I sent a friend request last night and sent him a message just asking if he remembered ...

A.   26 July 2014: You shouldn't write him back at all. There's no sense in it. I believe his first message was fueled by his gf. I don't think that was really him. It sounds like he has an overly controlling and possessive gf who probably made him write that. In ... (read in full...)

Why are some straight guys so scared to try something new?

Q.   I got a question, i'm a gay guy and I love straight men, especially buff or frat guys. I can't get enough of them. Why are some straight guys so scared to try something new? ...

A.   26 July 2014: Are you asking why are straight men scared to sleep with a gay man? It's usually the other way around when I see this type of question being asked. It's usually a straight person asking gay people why they don't just try being with someone ... (read in full...)

We are of different faiths and he says I don't appreciate him enough.

Q.   I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 25. We've been together for about 2.5 yrs now. Im muslim and he's not too religious, but since his father is Jewish, he tends to identify as a Jew. Anyways, we were friends before we began dating, but when we got serious, ...

A.   26 July 2014: I think what he's doing is very sweet and he obviously loves you very much to do that. He wouldn't go through all of that if he didn't want to. I say you should just relax and recognize what a good guy you have. Not many people would be willing ... (read in full...)

Did I make a mistake in breaking up with my boyfriend?

Q.   I recently broke up with my boyfriend and I'm trying to figure out if it was a mistake or not. We'd been official for about three weeks, but we'd been seeing each other for almost 3 months. I broke up with him because about a year ago he dropped out ...

A.   26 July 2014: Well I certainly can't speak for you because I don't know how you feel deep down. But it sounds to me as if you made a very smart and responsible decision. I think it's just the fresh wound right now talking. He's young. He may grow out of it. B... (read in full...)

My friends and family say he will cheat on me because he is in a band!

Q.   I've been dating this guy Jake for a few months he is 25 and a singer in a band. He also works with a local contracting company. Most of my family and friends say that are relationship wont work because of his "free" behaviour and that he goes out...

A.   26 July 2014: No, absolutely not. Just because you are in a band, does not mean that you have no morals or sense of right and wrong. While I was in college, I played in a band, and I also carried on a three year, fully committed and faithful relationship. Nope, ... (read in full...)

What's my next step with him? Not sure how to read him due to my Aspergers.

Q.   I just recently found out I have Asperger's. One symptom is that I am useless with guys and dating - I cannot read the signs at all. I think men think I'm above average intelligence and that I am pretty, but it is very, very hard to 'process' that ...

A.   26 July 2014: Completely understand! It's always easier when the other person makes the move, so you don't have to wonder if they are interested or if you're going to be shot down! Good luck to you! Keep us posted!... (read in full...)

Non stop unresolved arguments

Q.   For the first year or so of our married life was great but now we are plagued by frequent enflamed arguments which cannot be resolved. The rows often come out of the blue and the cause is unknown. I cool down after a few minutes and my feelings are ...

A.   25 July 2014: I have been on the receiving end of the silent treatment, and I will say this - IT SUCKS. The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. It's a way of controlling the other person by not allowing them to have a chance to speak. They dictate when ... (read in full...)

Losing boyfriend to world of Warcraft?

Q.   So my boyfriends gotta back into playing Warcraft over the last few months. It's really starting to get on my nerve cause I believe it's starting to affect our relationship. I don't care what he does in his free time when I'm not around, but lately ...

A.   25 July 2014: Yeah, this would be a total deal breaker for me. I don't blame you at all. Boys and video games. Games like that are great in moderation. If the person can use it as a stress relief or only play it at appropriate times. But during dates is certa... (read in full...)

What's my next step with him? Not sure how to read him due to my Aspergers.

Q.   I just recently found out I have Asperger's. One symptom is that I am useless with guys and dating - I cannot read the signs at all. I think men think I'm above average intelligence and that I am pretty, but it is very, very hard to 'process' that ...

A.   25 July 2014: I would like to point out that despite having asperger's, it's completely normal to have some of the feelings you've experienced with dating. Many people get all choked up, confused, and clam up in situations where they like another person. ... (read in full...)

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