I feel very guilty after I watch porn. How can I resolve these problems?
Q. Hello, I feel very guilty after I watch porn. I typically only watch it once every few months, so it is by no means a habit or addiction. I have been single for a while, and don't feel comfortable with random hookups, but I do get rather sex...
A. 11 May 2015: I've had friends experience this same type of shame. They had families guilt them and shame them, as well, growing up, for having natural sexual urges. It turned into many adulthood sexuality problems for them that they eventually had to overcome ... (read in full...)
My sex drive is such that I want to sleep around but I know that will hurt my boyfriend, and might make him depressed. What can I do about my libido?
Q. I'm in a really uncomfortable situation. I've been with my bf for 3 years with one break. During the break I had sex with two people and dated a person online for a few weeks. I just really wanted to get something out of my system. I have ...
A. 10 May 2015: First of all, you're not a whore. Many people go through this stage where they are just not ready to settle down and commit for the long haul and wish to experience different things. That's okay. It's perfectly normal.
I think it seems clear yo... (read in full...)
Why should I have to accept gay people, just because others do?
Q. I no we're meant to accept gays but I cant help but think its wrong and I don't hate it but I find it wrong I'm 13 by the way. I don't get why gays should be taught about in schools because why should I have to accept just cos others do? I do...
A. 21 April 2015: I also have to ask .. Where have you heard that being gay is wrong? Parents? Church? Just out of curiosity.... (read in full...)
Why should I have to accept gay people, just because others do?
Q. I no we're meant to accept gays but I cant help but think its wrong and I don't hate it but I find it wrong I'm 13 by the way. I don't get why gays should be taught about in schools because why should I have to accept just cos others do? I do...
A. 21 April 2015: I remember being your age, and I know from experience that sometimes, it's really hard to accept things that are labeled "different." Being in school can cause a lot of peer pressure and conformity for the sake of not being labeled an outcast. I ... (read in full...)
I think my partner's mother is out of order on this issue!
Q. How do I explain it in a short way... I'm 25. I am in a same sex relationship with my partner who is 4 years my senior. We've been together just over a year. She has a 4 year old child with her ex, who they have been split for 3 years because he'd ...
A. 19 April 2015: That's a bit of a tough situation. If I had split with an ex and my mother continued to sneak around behind my back to hang out with him/her, I'd be pretty pissed off. Is your mother allowed to have a relationship with whomever she pleases? ... (read in full...)
I'm pretty much a social reject!
Q. I can't seem to make any friends because I'm single with no kids. Everyone views me as desperate or needy and stay far away from me as possible. Even when I don't announce my relationship status I still get the lonely and desperate tag. At work, ...
A. 18 April 2015: I'm curious where you live because I'm sincerely baffled by your post. I'm single and childless at the age of 31 and absolutely NO ONE has treated me as a social outcast because of it. In fact, I'm quite thrilled with my single and childless status, ... (read in full...)
Should my girlfriend agree to come to a fetish club with me?
Q. I've been with my girl for 6 years now.She knows about my fetish for rubber clothing. We do normal things together ,like cinema, restaurants. But I want to experience a fetish club, which she's not into.I've asked her to go with me, just once is ...
A. 18 April 2015: I don't think it's unfair to ASK her, but once she says she's not comfortable, that's when you should respect her feelings on the matter.
Your partner is uncomfortable with the whole idea, so I would stop pushing it and just let it be. Is it id... (read in full...)
My gut is telling me there's something weird going on, am I too worried?
Q. I've been in a relationship with a guy for about two years now. He lives an hour and a half away so we see each other on the weekends. Recently, he's been in a class in which he is working with a girl I know and do not like. She used to date his...
A. 17 April 2015: I'm a firm believer in gut instincts (unless you have a strong tendency to be an incredibly jealous and over-bearing person). But overall, I wholeheartedly believe that we, as humans, need to listen to our guts more often, because most of the time, ... (read in full...)
She overstepped the bounds today! How do I deal with her if she comes up to me again?
Q. Well this is not really a romantic relationship question but it has to dowith a co worker who I felt overstepped today. I've a lazy eye that occassionally will act up if I'm stressed or tired. Anyway this co worker came up to me and asked me if I ...
A. 17 April 2015: I think she believed she was being helpful, not hurtful. Most people know not to say certain things, in fear of hurting someone's feelings. But she clearly didn't piece together that it would hurt your feelings or upset you, and so she proceeded ... (read in full...)
Why is he saying what a crazy needy possessive bitch I am, who won't leave him alone and is constantly telling him what to do?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years is very busy. He has several jobs and, to be honest, has what I think are OCD-like tendencies. So, when he does have some rare time at home he spends it doing things like cutting holes in the walls to hide the wires BEHIND ...
A. 17 April 2015: ***His comments not only show his immaturity, but also his lack of respect for you***... (read in full...)
Why is he saying what a crazy needy possessive bitch I am, who won't leave him alone and is constantly telling him what to do?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years is very busy. He has several jobs and, to be honest, has what I think are OCD-like tendencies. So, when he does have some rare time at home he spends it doing things like cutting holes in the walls to hide the wires BEHIND ...
A. 17 April 2015: He sounds like an over-grown man-child. No, you're not being over-bearing or needy by expecting that little shred of actual alone time you two do get to be spent together without his head in the phone. That, to me, is common respect and decency.
... (read in full...)
I just want to go to the party and make him wish he hadn't done what he had done, am I being stupid?
Q. I'm going to a party on Sunday night and my ex boyfriend is going to be there. He cheated on me a couple of weeks ago and stupidly I want him back. He hasn't called or text since we split up and I just want to go to the party and make him wish he ...
A. 17 April 2015: Showing up and trying to "act casual" will only wreak of desperation and he will be able to see right through it. I wouldn't do it, if I were you. I think it will most likely backfire and make you look desperate, and make him feel good in knowing ... (read in full...)
I sent a text to my boyfriend that was meant for my boss. Will my BF get upset?
Q. Hi all. Let me start by saying my BF of two years can be insecure and has expressed jealousy at times. I was texting my boss trying to set up a meeting and sent the text by accident to my BF as I have both conversations saved on my phone....
A. 13 April 2015: I definitely agree that you should in no way condone this potential overreaction on his part. It was a simple mistake and there's absolutely no reason he should think anything of it. The others are right - you should NOT profusely apologize or humor ... (read in full...)
Do I try to convince my boyfriend that he still loves me?
Q. Yesterday my boyfriend of a year broke up with me. It is all rather confusing. But this week I saw a girl had been texting him and he was trying to bring up her self esteem by calling her hot but I saw it as flirtatious. We met up and we made up. ...
A. 12 April 2015: Hey there. I'm sorry you're having to go through this. Breakups are so tough, confusing, and painful. Hang in there.
I know you don't necessarily want to hear this, but I think he's probably interested in that other girl. I think it's too much... (read in full...)
I'm 15 dating a 21 year old and don't know how to tell my parents
Q. I'm 15 and my boyfriend recently turned 21 I'll be turning 16 in june, my brothers 18 and he and the rest of my siblings and cousins are okay with it, weve been dating 7months yesterday and im really happy....but i really want to tell my parents but ...
A. 11 April 2015: Allow me to rephrase .. if you two are being intimate, it's illegal. You did not specify. ... (read in full...)
I'm 15 dating a 21 year old and don't know how to tell my parents
Q. I'm 15 and my boyfriend recently turned 21 I'll be turning 16 in june, my brothers 18 and he and the rest of my siblings and cousins are okay with it, weve been dating 7months yesterday and im really happy....but i really want to tell my parents but ...
A. 11 April 2015: I don't know the exact laws over there, but English law and American law overlap in many ways, for obvious reasons. Here, your relationship is illegal and could cause your boyfriend some serious trouble. If I were you, I'd give this relationship a ... (read in full...)
I think my Ex GF Has Borderline Personality Disorder
Q. I've recently broken up with my gf of about a year. I loved her more than any woman I've ever been with, but throughout the relationship she exhibited signs of mental instability that I overlooked or made excuses for because I love her. Someone ...
A. 11 April 2015: Listen to me: count your blessings and be grateful you got out. It might be painful now, but you will get over it. The pain you feel now is much, much less than if you stuck with her for years and years, and she continued to drag you through the ... (read in full...)
Why is it worse for a man to be bitter and resentful than it is for a woman?
Q. If a man is bitter, resentful, is filled with feelings of bitterness, resentment, no woman will want him, but a man is generally more forgiving if a woman is feeling bitter, resentful, why is this? Why are guys expected to always, or almos...
A. 11 April 2015: I'm not sure I agree at all with this generalized statement that bitter men are far more unattractive than bitter women. I think bitterness is quite unflattering to all people equally - men and women alike. Bitter women are just as unattractive as ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for wanting to know if she enjoyed it and if he wore a condom?
Q. I have a 27 year old girlfriend of 3 years and we have recently been having some issues in regards to spending time together. She has been spending a lot of time with a co-worker (going out, going to his place but just as friends as she claims). ...
A. 11 April 2015: This is a very odd question to me .. why are you not more upset about this? You seem to be in denial of the fact that she slept with another guy. Has it really sunk in yet? And I don't know if I would consider it "wrong" to want to know the details. ... (read in full...)
Should I invite my crush and his friend out to swim?
Q. I met a cute guy in the fall in my swim class that i unintentionally fell for. We talked a few times in the fall, but not a lot. During the winter, we didn't have class together, so i never saw him. But its the beginning of the spring quarter and ...
A. 10 April 2015: You should ask him. Why not? There's only something to gain and absolutely nothing to lose. After all, if he says no, it's not like you have to see him in class. And if he says yes, well, then you're in! Just ask him! It can't hurt. And at least in ... (read in full...)
Do men even care if porn use hurts their partner?
Q. My question comes as the result of my husband constantly using porn despite an agreement not too and two years of counselling. I have now organised alternative housing but am hurt and wondering what the world has come to Do men even care if porn use...
A. 10 April 2015: I do get where you're coming from in regards to the double standard about appearances. I was actually discussing this very thing earlier tonight with my male roommate. Basically, how men of all shapes and sizes, old or young, attractive or ... (read in full...)
How do you cope with a 'lovechild'
Q. My husband has 3 children. 2 with me and 1 with his ex. That is pretty normal in todays society, I know, however he had his first child with me and his second with his ex. He got me pregnant and her like 4 months apart. After our daughter was born ...
A. 7 April 2015: Inexcusable*... (read in full...)
Was his threesome suggestion just an excuse to have sex with another woman? Is it wrong that I felt hurt by his actions?
Q. I agreed to a threesome with my husband and a friend. I've never been with a woman but agreed to try to please my husband. He didn't even touch me. feeling uncomfortable, i went outside. he proceeded to have sex with her. i was reduced to watching, ...
A. 7 April 2015: I'd file divorce papers and not even think twice. That's BULLSHIT.... (read in full...)
How do you cope with a 'lovechild'
Q. My husband has 3 children. 2 with me and 1 with his ex. That is pretty normal in todays society, I know, however he had his first child with me and his second with his ex. He got me pregnant and her like 4 months apart. After our daughter was born ...
A. 7 April 2015: He needs to stop having kids if he can't provide for them, or at least provide some child support.
You're only human, so it's natural to feel jealous and angry of the situation. However, this child is his own flesh and blood. He already hasn't b... (read in full...)
Why am I dreaming of an old lover?
Q. Why am I dreaming about an ex-lover coming back to me, and I willing go with him ? I am married almost 37 years to my husband. I do love him, but maybe not like I loved this past lover. My ex is also married, but I don't know anything more about ...
A. 7 April 2015: Well, I cannot speak for the tone of your dream, nor know how it felt. However, having dreams of past lovers doesn't always equate with wishing to rekindle or that you're not over them. Often times, it is your brains way of referencing a specific ... (read in full...)
Text overload and being clingy may have scared him off!
Q. Hi there, I am looking for some honest advice and interested in hearing views from men as well, if possible. Basically, if a guy really genuinely likes a woman and is 'into her', during the early dating stages and she freaks him out with text ov...
A. 7 April 2015: To me, if someone is clingy and needy right off the bat, I end it. Not because I panic and run for the hills, but because the instant they start to display those clingy, insecure emotions, is the instant my feelings for them change drastically. I ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't stop taking drugs. should I leave him?
Q. I am 25 and my partner is 30. We have been together for 8 months and have had an uneasy relationship. We love each other very much, but he takes class A drugs occasionally and I did not like this. When I came to the decision to leave him he told me ...
A. 6 April 2015: Deal-breaker!!!
I'd never be okay with having a relationship with a person who was a drug user of a significant magnitude. Absolutely unacceptable, in my opinion. I completely sympathize with those who struggle with addiction. However, I would en... (read in full...)
Sometimes I just wish I had punched him so he could feel pain too!
Q. I just cannot move on. What the heck. Today I think I saw my ex we go to the same college and he cheated and left, while we were breaking up I demanded we talk about it but he said he had class and a quiz an excuse to leave at that moment my heart ...
A. 2 April 2015: You obviously know punching him because he hurt you is a bad idea. Although, sometimes, it sure can seem like a great option at the time, when we feel so wronged. However, you will get over him. It feels like you won't right now, but it hasn't been ... (read in full...)
I wonder if she is brushing me off.
Q. Hello, I met a girl last week and we hit it off really well and she gave me her number she seemed really into me. I sent her a few messages over the week we shared same interests. These were short emails replies after 3 days so I felt maybe the ...
A. 2 April 2015: Sounds like she is brushing you off, I'm afraid. I'm sure she thought you were a nice and lovely guy when you met her, as she did give you her number. However, it seems she is not interested enough to maintain contact. If she was interested, she ... (read in full...)
Twelve days after the break up. Please tell me it gets better.
Q. 12 days post BU and I feel so terrible. I broke it off with him, after being together almost 5 years. He was mistreating me and just wasn't good for me in any way. I went straight into blocking/deleting him from everywhere and have been NC since. ...
A. 25 March 2015: Hey there, friend. Let me tell you this .. I used to come on this site all the time and give advice regularly. About six months ago, I went through the most painful breakup with the person I thought was the absolute love of my life. After that? I ... (read in full...)
Flirting with my best friend's wife...should I go further?
Q. My best friend started dating this girl years ago. My gf at the time and her were bffs. My friends gf and i had this chemistry that is so lustful and exciting. We would mess around a bit and eventually it came out in the open. We admitted guilt and ...
A. 15 January 2015: No, you don't get more intimate. You back off and leave his wife alone! That's what you do. Do you sincerely have no qualms with this in your head? No slight semblance of guilt?? You don't do that to people. Back off.... (read in full...)
He's moved in and we're in love. But after what I found on his phone - could he be cheating?
Q. Hi I have been seeing this guy for10 months he has moved into my home and is sweet and I'm so in love. I found porn on his phone which I don't mind but now I have found this site called f^^k buddy Could he be cheating? I work, he doesn't....
A. 12 January 2015: Doubtful. Watching porn links you to all of these other sites like that. It's possible and most likely it was just an advertisement. I wouldn't be too worried.
However, anything is possible. But if he's given you no indication of anything... (read in full...)
I still love this guy, my sexual partner and father of my children. But has my declaration about marriage driven him away?
Q. I have three children. The first two are in their early 20's and left home. My youngest is 11 and from a relationship with a man I have know for over 30 years. He is a great father to the children, but about 2 years ago I decided to stop ...
A. 11 January 2015: Hey there. Well first of all, props to you for standing your ground for what you want. You know what you want and aren't willing to settle for less. That's great. Unfortunately, this man didn't want the same things as you. You let him know you ... (read in full...)
I'm mad at my BF for not getting in touch with me when he got back from a trip. Am I over-reacting?
Q. My boyfriend went away to visit family out of town for four days. He turns his iPhone off anytime he is in a foreign country not to incur extra charges so we do not speak on the phone. He sent me one email to tell me he had arrived safely an...
A. 11 January 2015: I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with the other posters so far. I am far from a clingy person, yet I think it's common courtesy in a serious relationship to keep each other posted about these types of things, as that's what I believe you ... (read in full...)
Why does he keep me on Facebook if he doesn't want to be with me?
Q. Hi. After having a brief fling with a guy who I met, I called it off as he was losing interest in me and he has moved onto someone else now instead. The thing is - even though we don't have contact like we used to - we are still friends on Facebook...
A. 29 December 2014: He probably keeps you on because he sees no real reason to remove you, as you two never had a falling out or any such similar issue. If you two had had a bad break up, he would probably have removed you.
Perhaps you should consider removing... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to feel hurt that she let her exes give her oral sex but not me?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together getting on for five months now and at some point we have had a chat about the sexual experiences we've both had in our pasts. My girlfriend has openly talked about how she enjoyed oral sex when her ex's have ...
A. 23 December 2014: I agree with chigirl. 100%. Her body, her rules. End of story. You should respect her boundaries. Oral clearly makes her uncomfortable. Stop pushing. ... (read in full...)
My husband's explanation is not convincing. Is he cheating?
Q. Last night I was going through my husband's phone which he constantly updates and deletes stuff from. I happened to click on the "notes" and the only note I found was from a week ago. It said: "It was good seeing you today, I never knew how dazzling ...
A. 28 November 2014: He may not be cheating .. yet. But he may be about to if the opportunity presents itself. It sounds like he has an infatuation with another woman who has just caught his eye.
There's no doubt that note clearly wasn't for you (as he's certainly seen... (read in full...)
My girlfriend runs hot and cold. We are engaged but she has cut down the time we spend together!
Q. hi im a gay woman in my 30s and engaged to my girlfriend who i dont live with but i do stay most nights and go home a couple of nights a week because she did want space and not to live together until were married which is all fair enough. i know all ...
A. 8 October 2014: I'm sorry, fiancé, not ex. My bad. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend runs hot and cold. We are engaged but she has cut down the time we spend together!
Q. hi im a gay woman in my 30s and engaged to my girlfriend who i dont live with but i do stay most nights and go home a couple of nights a week because she did want space and not to live together until were married which is all fair enough. i know all ...
A. 8 October 2014: Maybe I'm missing something, but I can relate to your ex. I don't really see much reason to have to be at her place of employment all the time or to walk her to work every day. If you see each other most nights after work and spend ample time ... (read in full...)
What do I do? Which girl do I choose? How do I let my ex down?
Q. Hi, Basically I am in a big dilemma in my life. I am 24 and had a ex gf for 3 years (she is 22 btw) and we split up 4 months ago. Due to the fact that we kept arguing, she lived too far, her parents didnt like me, she didnt want to leave home and...
A. 6 October 2014: I honestly think you need to slow this down drastically. After four months, you're only just beginning to get to know this girl. You still don't know anything a out her yet. I'd give it another year, at least. That way, you know for sure this is a ... (read in full...)
Should I change my style of dress for my boyfriend who says I'm too old to wear certain things ???
Q. I just recently found out that I am the oldest women my boyfriend has ever dated minus his ex wife who was 5 years older than me. I have been dating my boyfriend 6 months and he has already said he loves me and I don't doubt that he dose , but I ...
A. 4 October 2014: First of all, are you kidding me?? You can't compete with a 21 or 22 year old?? Woman, please! Being 30 means you're still incredibly young! Yet just old enough to be mature, unlike these other babies he has dated in the past. 30 is NOT old. Get ... (read in full...)
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