New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244947 questions, 1084259 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Can people tell when they're "the mutton dressed as the lamb"?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 September 2016) 9 Answers - (Newest, 11 September 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, *ubyBirtle writes:

Just in case people are not familiar with the term “mutton dressed as lamb" - it refers to older people who try to appear younger (and usually fail dismally). And it's most often applied to women who wear clothes that are aimed at a much younger market.

So - how do I know when I'm the mutton dressed as the lamb? Will people tell me? Or do I have to figure it out for myself? Should I care? Or should I just look in the mirror and think "Well, I think I look great" and wear exactly as I please?

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (11 September 2016):

You can wear whatever you want as long as it fits well and if the outfit itself is balanced in both color and style. Some tips (though of course these are highly subjective!)

- avoid white cotton leggings. This is something I see a lot of older women wear, and when you have cellulite (which at least 80% of us do) and or if you have a few extra pounds, these are going to be very unflattering, because they tend to make your legs look bigger and because you can see every little lump and bump through them. If you do wear them, at least make sure you have a tunic or a dress that covers the entirety of your butt, because every color underwear can be seen through a white legging.

- Avoid leopard print leggings and pants. In general, these are very overpowering. Even if the rest of your outfit is black, there is a chance it still looks too chaotic. If you're crazy about animal prints in your clothes, try to keep it small, like as a print on your shoes, or keep it limited to your sleeves.

Honestly though, in my opinion, they're best avoided entirely.

- Don't obsess over size. If you're hell bent on squeezing yourself in that size 8 when a 10 would be more comfortable (and therefore more flattering) please do take the size 10. Nobody cares about size, but everyone can tell when you're wearing something that's too tight.

- Fit matters. If you have a jacket that's perfect around your shoulders but too wide at the waist, do not hesitate to go to a tailor and have it adjusted. I'm not rich by any definition, but I have had several pieces of clothing made to fit and they just look so much better on me now.

- When one item in your outfit is really dramatic (like a shirt with a really colorful print), keep the rest of your outfit neutral to balance it out, like for example a black jacket or vest, dark jeans, dark shoes. You don't want pieces of your outfit to compete for attention. So if you're for example planning to wear a very exquisite necklace, make sure everything else is neutral, including the shirt. This makes your necklace pop and keeps everything in balance.

- Pay attention to body shape. If you have big boobs, avoid turtlenecks because they make you look top heavy. If you have a bit of a belly, do not wear tight shirts or tube dresses. If you wear a dress, pick something that sort of feathers out from the waist, which gives an hourglass illusion. Maybe ask in the store for advice.

- Look online for inspiration. I like sites like Pinterest a lot because it gives me new ideas on how to combine certain colors and making them work.

- Enjoy yourself. In the end YOU have to be comfortable. That's what matters most. I can talk about guidelines and whatnot, but you have to feel comfortable wearing what you wear. So don't be afraid of what people may or may not say.

hope this helps!

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (10 September 2016):

Youcannotbeserious agony aunt

"Mutton dressed as lamb" is obviously aimed to insult, so your friends will not use this if they are real friends. Only people who want to insult you will use it.

Problem is, these people are often more honest than your friends (at least to your face). However, it is just THEIR opinion. Depends how much it bothers you what others think.

If you are happy with the way you look, and your family/partner are happy with the way you look, then perhaps what others think is their problem, not yours - and also none of your business?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (10 September 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt " Mutton dressed as the lamb " ?... No offence, but- that seems to me such an exquisitely British concern :), and probably the cause why still nowadays in your beautiful country you still can see so many Miss Marple lookalikes... " sensible shoes " and sensible tweed and all...and maybe they are just 40 !

It does not work like this , for instance, in Italy and France, - places were admittedly people knows a thing or two about elegance ( not just fashion ) .

You do YOU, as Honeypie says, i.e. ( hopefully ) you develop your own unique style, you wear the things that enhance your physical traits and express yor personality... you keep it, hopefully, simple and un-fussy; and there 's no age concern ; no muttons and lambs. Only people who dress like themselves, with confidence and class- and some other people who alas can't quite pull it off because they are too worried about what the fashion magazines say, or the neighbours say.

My mom is in her 80s and she is absolutely splendid in her black leather jeans and leopard print ballerina flats. She gets raving reviews ;)- (not that she would care , anyway, if the comments were negative ).

You will note I said leopard print flats, not leopard print " fuck me " stiletto heels.

I think Janniepeg is right, what is dissonant , and jarring to the eye, is when people play up too much the sexual appeal card, in short when they try too hard .

Not that a woman can't be sexually attractive at 40, 50, 60,even later ! But, she will appeal to a more restricted circle of " connosseurs " and her erotic appeal will be subtler and will come from other things ( her voice, her scent, the way she moves, the way she walks.... ) than from the raw exhibition of a pair of not-so-perfect jugs or of a naked, not-so-young midriff.

When a woman of 18 basically shows her butt in short shorts, she is yelling " Hey, look at me ! I am a sexual being ! I am a desirable, fertile female ! " - which may also be wrong and disquieting from a social and cultural point of view , but at the end of the day , nature is nature , hormons are hormons and the "cheeky " teen is , in a way, just following the genetic programme.

When a 50something woman does the same- well, there's something off, even if she owns , due to good genes or to surgery, a very well preserved derriere. It just looks .. a bit weird.

I think it's normal that everybody likes to be the recipient of positive attention and positive comments , at ANY age. Everybody wants to look good- and to be looked AS good. But, after a certain age, maybe not ( or not mainly ) as an object of sexual fruition. When people clings too long to their representation of themselves as a mostly sexual being- yeah that may look a bit awkward.

Other than that, though, oh no please do not feel restricted in your choice of colours , or styles, or haircut or accessories. If you feel at ease and happy wearing something, chances are that it suits you beautifully. And if it does not... well, you are old enough to not give a fig about what people that you don't even know could say about you !

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (10 September 2016):

llifton agony auntMaybe I'm the wrong person to answer this, but I say wear whatever the hell you think you look good in! Life is too short to give a damn about how people judge you. But this is coming from a person who would probably wear a burlap sack if I felt the desire.

My vote is who cares?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 September 2016):

Honeypie agony auntDress however you want. Dress with class and confidence.

Honestly, though? I have seen women in their 40's dress in "Forever 21" (clothing store in the US catering to under/around 21's) and look better doing it than women in their 20's. And I have seen women in their 40's dress like they have absolutely no clue what is "appropriate", not so much for their age, but where they are... ( like who wear a T-shirt for St. Paddy's day saying... "if you are going to pinch me, pinch my ass" or to a fundraiser event a t-shirt saying "MILF of the month" when going to a middle school event for your kid? That's DESPERATE, IMHO.

Classy... is 100 times more attractive than "sexy" on ANY women regardless of age.

But... do I really care? No. If that is what the woman deems is OK, then so be it. I don't find it very classy, more like tacky, but hey?! she got to do her. I'll stick to doing me.

So... YOU DO YOU. I think you know what you can get "away" with and what you can't.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2016):

I'm 49 and also live in the UK; just today I bought something and thought "Am I too old for this?" I'm lucky I have a 19 year old goddaughter who is happy to give out her opinion on older (and younger) women's fashion sense.

Her thing is not to show too much flesh when you're older which I agree with. I also ask my partner although, as we all know, men aren't always great in this respect. He thinks everything looks fine as long as it isn't like a tent.

I try and wear clothes that fit well, are flattering to my particular shape and I wear a good bra. I think that way you can wear practically anything. I only wear shorter skirts with thick tights and boots. I don't slavishly follow fashion and my legs are horrible so I don't wear skinny jeans but my friend does and they look great on her.

At the end of the day as long as you're happy who cares? People will have opinions no matter what you do and sometimes it purely stems from jealousy and isn't justified.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (10 September 2016):

Ivyblue agony auntNo I don't think people will tell you in fear of offending. Im advice would be to stay away from shops when you can see the clientele is in there 20's. Take note of what younger people are wearing and think about how one of your same age friends may look? People may have different opinions but my vision of mutton done up as lamb is Madonna nowadays.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (10 September 2016):

Tisha-1 agony auntOh my dear, some lambs dress like mutton these days! They think they look great but they look awful.

I lived in the UK for a short while and found there was much more pressure for conformity and that commenting negatively on older women, heavier women, etc, was common. That was before social media and easy access to the internet, so my information is dated. These days, anyone can take a shot at anyone.... civility is sadly fading into dim old ladies’ memories.

If you have a great friend whose look and judgment you trust, message her.

I think you have the start of a great blog, by the way.

The basic questions are these: who is doing the judging? Does their opinion matter in any real way? What are their qualifications to judge?

For example, Miley Cyrus (has she crossed the Atlantic yet? If yes, can you keep her for a while?) dresses like a deranged toddler smoked pot, took acid and threw a hissy fit at the playground. Yet she feels qualified to offer opinions on style.... Yes, she’s my example of lamb dressing as mutton. :)

I think if you are really at sea in this case, look to a friend whose style you admire.

But generally, if you think you look good, take off two accessories and go out the door with confidence. :)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (10 September 2016):

janniepeg agony auntI think you should dress as you please but I am sure some have negative opinions whatever you do. Of course some are jealous too, of people who can pull off as a younger person. The mutton dressed as the lamb only applies to clothes that are too revealing or too tight. Otherwise, a 70 year old would look very cool and refreshing in jeans and leather jacket. People won't tell you. They would either stare in admiration or be like, "what is she thinking?" I look at different brands and their catalogues with the models in them. There are clothing lines suited for different age groups. The older you get the more baggier the clothing is. I think if you still have a good figure you should show off, but in a modest way.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Can people tell when they're "the mutton dressed as the lamb"?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312725999974646!