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Scared to date because my penis is too small-what can I do?

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Question - (30 January 2007) 13 Answers - (Newest, 19 April 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

This is mainly aimed at the ladies. I'm 2 scared 2 get with girls b/c of the size of my penis. I know 2 some girls size dont matter but surely when its 3inches normal and only 5 when erected its an issue.

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Is it me or is my penis too small?

I think my penis is too small and my erection may be abnormal - thoughts?


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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2008):

I know what you mean, i'm actually 4 inches... Just focus on being an expert in one area, like foreplay.. but i think you'll also feel much much better about yourself if you're with a girl who hasn't had sex before cause really i don't think she'll care about the size all that much... and 5 inches isnt bad bro.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008):

I have found some studies on average penis size and found 3 that came up with averages of 5.1. 5.3 and 5.9 inches long erect. However, the 5.9 inch study was voluntary, so it is assumed that men with shorter penises did not volunteer to be measured. Another study came out about 6.3, but it was based on guys measuring themselves and sending in the info. Like you can believe that one.

Many women care about size and many don't. Of those who care, some want as big as possible, while others don't want longer than a certain length. My wife's favorite length is 6 or just a little longer. However, she likes 5 much better than 7, as 7 inches or longer hurts if the guy tries to go in all the way. She has had boyfriends from about 4 to 7 or 8, as best as she can estimate and remember. Only the largest ones were a problem. She most prefered the guys who were 5 to 6. I used be about 6 and 1/2 when I was younger and I would hurt her in some positions. It was discouraging for me. I also hurt another gf a couple of times. Others had no problem. I was reading a forum a couple of weeks ago where a couple of guys who were 7 or larger hated it because many women didn't like to have sex with them, but some women don't want to have sex with anyone smaller that 7 inches.

Don't worry about it. Most women won't reject you for being 5 inches. You will also find some who will prefer that. As someone else said, men and women come in different sizes. Now that I am older and a little shorter, I match my wife perfectly in most positions. However, there are still 2 positions that I like that do not work for us unless I am really careful. That lessens the enjoyment for both of us. A former boyfriend who was about 4 inches could do them without a problem. Be happy and don't worry.

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A female reader, Cherriepie United States +, writes (6 February 2008):

Cherriepie agony auntI think your normal or just slightly below normal, but dont be sad. There are a few guys like you...and I met some that were smaller. Its true that size can be a factor for some women. I have to be honest and say it matters to me. I do prefer larger dicks. Personally, I don't understand those that say performance counts more than size, when truthfully I have better orgasms with guys who are larger and underperform in bed. Like the girl said before me you can “perform” all you want...if I don’t feel it I don’t feel it!

What you have to do is make up for it in other departments by concentrating on heavy and extended foreplay before you have intercourse. If you can develop some good oral skills the girls might overlook your little guy. A lot of guys with small penis learn to adapt, you can too.

I read in the Kama Sutra the ancient Indian sex manual, that men and women come in different sizes with their body parts, and best matches happen when their parts match up right. You have to find a girl who would be the prefect fit for you, and if a girl rejects you for your size just accept it and move on…girls can reject you for any number of reasons having nothing to do with your penis.

Hunny, I would hate to take you to bed see your penis and reject you on the spot. Any girl who would do that has no heart. Yes I would still sleep with you.

But practice your oral skills so you can make any sex you have worthwhile for whatever lucky girl you meet. Lots of luv, hunny!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007):

It seems that because the male genitalia, being out and in the open is so easily judged and compared. Its all about the length and girth of the penis. What about the vagina? Vagina's come in just as many sizes too. It seems to be all on the size of the penis to determine how satisfying sex is. Do women not take any ownership in this? Perhaps the vagina is too large? Women can do kegel exercises to tighten the walls of her vagina. The penis can not be increased in size by any natural means(reguardless what the internet sites say). If the woman has complaints of the size, she can do kegel exercises. If that does increase the satisfaction, then the two people just aren't a good match. There really is no too big or too small. Its like a lock and key..lol. You just have to find the right match.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2007):

Don't worry man, i had exactly the same problem as you, but once you get out there and give it a go, you quickly realise that the female body is a wonderous thing and a big dick is not all you need to please a woman. Love, the right touch, spend some time with foreplay and make them feel really special. If you can make a woman come without going inside of her, they won't care about the size of your penis, because you make them feel special and good. This is what women want

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A female reader, CarrieMagdelene United States +, writes (1 February 2007):

CarrieMagdelene agony auntAw, honey. I get comments from my boyfriends friends all the time saying 'Jesus, T, she's a little flat in the chest, don'tcha think?' and he returns 'Yea, I know, but the shirt always looks better on the floor.' My point is, when it comes to the bedroom, a mature and loving partner sees not a big penis or big breasts, but sees the body in general for what a beautiful work of art it is.

Okay, yes, I admit it, dear...Penis size matters. But did you know that for some girls, having a guy who's about 7-8 inches can be REALLY painful every time, or it can take them really long to climax/orgasm? It's true!

Ever heard of Jeff Foxworthy? The joke about 'It's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean?' Can you feel the waves on the Titanic? Not really. Can you feel them in a lobster boat or even a dingy? Heck yes. You see, if you can get the rythem and the confidence down pat, the size won't matter. Work with what you got. That's what ultra ribbed condoms and wonderbras are for. ;)

Lots of love, and good luck! -Carrie

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2007):

spend more time on other areas and you'll be good in bed. i dated a guy once who was 8.5 inches. i was with him for 10 months and faked it every time. and i dated another guy who was 5 inches and it was the best sex of my life. generally guys who are bigger think thats enough and they dont need to put in any effort and guys who are small/average sized will spend more time on foreplay and will try harder to please which makes them the best lovers. xxx

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A male reader, Ponungalungb United States +, writes (30 January 2007):

Ponungalungb agony auntI have 3 inches. . .

but most girls don't like it that wide.

RIMSHOT!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007):

I wanted to add that you are not a fully mature male. You will continue to grow taller most likely until you are about 23, so it is possible that your member will get larger as well, I don't know for sure, but I think it may be likely, you could ask a real doctor for that factoid.

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A female reader, Lilly223 United States +, writes (30 January 2007):

Lilly223 agony auntComing from an old broad who has seen more than one penis, I can tell you... what you have is certainly within the range of average/normal, so you REALLY have nothing to worry about. If your friends are all saying they've got 9 inchers, they are lying. Yes there is an occasional one out there like that, but few and far between. Your penis size is very adequate, more along the lines of what the majority of men carry around, and perfectly normal. Anyway, you need to stop sweating the numbers, that has little to do with how you satisfy a woman. It's all about HOW you use it!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007):

I won't lie to you, for some girls it might be an issue, but at your age, I think you should try dating a nice girl who wants to wait to have sex...sounds a bit old fashioned, but why rush into having sex, especially when you don't sound ready to do that.

According to a female gynocologist, women vary greatly in the depth of their vaginas, some are as small as two inches deep, so you are too big for them, and some are as long as 9 inches deep, it does not have anything to do with how petite a woman is, but just like men we are all different....if the pieces don't fit, then sometimes it won't work out in the bedroom, but for the most part, it does work out, because if you really love the person, you make do with what he's got! And it can be just as great as with someone of a different size...so don't worry unnecessarily about this, just date, make some friends and enjoy being 17!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007):

Don’t feel bad, I once dated a guy who aroused was barely 3 inches; if that!

I was on top of him and we were kissing and I reach down there to feel something hard and delicious; I was shocked! I actually had to ask him if he was aroused, he said “yea why?” I was just flabbergasted. So we proceed. At this point I was wondering how this would all turn out. So intercourse happened and I really didn’t feel anything. It was like a pencil going in and was bored out of my mind. I wanted to get it over with already, so I sat on him (rodeo) and just rubbed his thingy on my clit and yes I reached orgasm. Relationship over of course. 5inches isn’t so bad, and like the person below said… it’s how you use it that counts. Worry if a girl reaches down there and asks with a question mark face “are you aroused?”

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A female reader, Jendorset United Kingdom +, writes (30 January 2007):

I promise you im being honest...its not what youve got its what you do with it. Being careing and considerate and respectful also makes it better for some girls.

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