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Single Mom of two boys, been married, and then not married. :)So yes, I do have some experience in the relationship department. A student of hard knocks and university. Love observing people and figuring out what makes them tick. Have been told I have an uncanny ability to weed out the problem and get right to the core of the issue at hand. I've been accused on being the person to come to when you need a "kick in the @ss" and some brutally honest advice. Those are my qualifications; what more do you need to know? |
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I like him but my friends think he is gay
Q. So I am new to a school and I like this boy. I think he likes me too becuase my friend thinks so and so do I. The problem is 2 of my friends think he is gay, and I think they all think the same thing. On the friday before the weekend one of my ...
A. 15 January 2007: How about approaching him as simply a friend? A lot of great relationships start out as friendships, a lot of bad relationships start out as bf/gf and go down hill immediately. If you approach him as a friend, start hanging out and doing stuff ... (read in full...)
Is it morally wrong for a teacher to wink at a female student (15-17)?
Q. is it morally wrong for a male teacher to wink at a female student age 15-17? I need to know because my gf is complaining about this teacher who does it to her and ONLY her....
A. 15 January 2007: This guy should know better. Especially because he is a teacher, AND he teaches female students of this age. Winking, although generally innocent, has no place in a school setting between teachers and students. I say, that if he continues to do ... (read in full...)
I can't 'gaze' back in my bf's eyes! It bothers me! Why am I like this?
Q. why can't i look into my boyfriends eyes for longer than about 2 seconds?, he tries to gaze into my eyes and i have to look away because i can't stand it. is there something wrong with me? what should i do?...
A. 15 January 2007: No, there is nothing wrong with you. It sounds to me like you REALLY REALLY like him, or you are really really shy. It takes practice to be able to do this because it is such an intimate thing.... gazing directly in to someones eyes. As you grow ... (read in full...)
Will I look like a floozy for approaching someone I met, while I was previously dating someone else?
Q. I was dating a man for a year and we broke up, then 6 months later got back together. While we were back together, we visited his family in another state. While there, I met a friend of his brother's and we really hit it off. But I ignored that, ...
A. 15 January 2007: No, you won't look like a floozy for approaching this guy... not if you do it in a simply friend like manner. "Hey, I hear your going to be in my neighborhood, how about we get together and let me show you around... maybe we can catch up on what's ... (read in full...)
Does he only want me for sex even though he is really sweet towards me?
Q. I've been out on a couple of dates with my old high school teacher. He has been divorced for a little over a year with a daughter from his previous marriage. He's 26 years old, and I am 20. I can't help, but think, that he's only trying to sleep ...
A. 15 January 2007: Well, I think he IS telling you. You said, "He is not going to commit himself for a very long time." But doesn't that mean he won't commit to you eventually? No. I don't think he is just after you for sex, I think he is after you to date you and ... (read in full...)
We've been seeing each other for a few months but he doesn't want to be physically intimate!
Q. I have been seeing a great guy for a few months and everything seems to be going well apart from one thing - he doesn't seem to want to be physically intimate with me. Are there men like this, or is there something wrong? Should i break up with ...
A. 15 January 2007: Geez, this is a difficult one. As far as my experiences have ever gone, no most guys DON'T wait a few months before approaching you... ever heard of the three date rule? On one hand it sounds like this guy is being a real gentleman and not pushing ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend to shave off his pubes?
Q. GUYS! do you shave your pubes? whenever i give my boyfriend a bj i get a lot of hairs in my mouth. i said he should shave but i was kidding. should i tell him to for real? i just want to know if he is just extra hairy or what?...
A. 15 January 2007: Here I go again... :) In my experience... some guys do, some don't... some are really fuzzy, and some are not and most probably would tidy up the area if you asked them too... especially if you tell them you think it looks HOT. In addition, a good ... (read in full...)
Why would a man would turn from 'loving you to hating you' within a few hours? I need some advice!
Q. I don't know what happened? We are a couple in our mid-40's. My guy announced to me today, that we were through and he went ice cold on me. We have been together for 18 months. Last night at bedtime, he said he loved me and he said it again this ...
A. 15 January 2007: No, not all men are like this... but, yes, there are a select few that are. Your bf sounds like he is just being mean, hateful, and hurtful, and has resorted to what is equivilant to a two year olds temper tantrum. Should you have kicked him out ... (read in full...)
He assumed I was on the pill... do I tell him about the abortion that I thought affected my ability to conceive?
Q. I withheld information from my ex. We began having sex, using condoms, then he stopped wearing them and didn't withdraw. I didn't care because I had cervical scarring from an abortion (age 23) that was performed too early. My doctor said it was ...
A. 12 January 2007: I think for your own peace of mind I would tell him exactly what you have told us. Every person appreciates honesty. While I cannot say that it will change his mind, or that he will believe you, I think that you will know that you have told the ... (read in full...)
We are both shy so how can I get him to kiss me?
Q. I really like this guy and i think he likes me back i having my 18th bday party soon any ideas on how i can either kiss him or have him kiss me as we both shy and he doesnt drink also. we cant play spin the bottle as almost everyone else is in a ...
A. 12 January 2007: If you stand very close to him, look him in the eyes, and then allow your gaze for lower and stop on his lips, it's an almost guarented way to get a kiss. And he will probably think it is all his idea.
Or you could walk right up to him, grab his... (read in full...)
I'm not ready for motherhood! Should I have an abortion or keep this baby?
Q. Hey there! I am about less than 2 months pregnant. I am devastated. I'm only 17 and this was obviously very unplanned. I wish I could turn back time and change the fact that I had unprotected sex. I'm stuck in the middle wondering if I should have ...
A. 12 January 2007: I'm not sure if you have considered or not, but maybe giving this child up for adoption would be a viable alternative to keeping it, or having an abortion. I know there are thousands and thousands of couples out there that would love to raise your ... (read in full...)
Guys don't seem interested in me for long..what am I doing wrong?
Q. Dear everyone, Okay so I'm 22 and I'm still a virgin but that's not exactly the issue. I've had one serious boyfriend in my life and the reason we didn't have sex is because he had testicular cancer during our relationship. (He's since recovered ...
A. 12 January 2007: It's hard to love someone when they don't love themsleves. And although you don't say this I imagine that this may be part of the problem. You feel worn down, are over eating, and can't be bothered. Those are all symptoms of depression. Maybe ... (read in full...)
How do you stop thinning hair? Any Ideas?
Q. Hi all, Season greetings to all! I have a problem and really hope that someone can help me. I turn 41 soon, and noticed that my hair seems to be thinning quite a bit lately. Is there anyway that I can stop this.Please assist if you can. Man...
A. 12 January 2007: The first thing I would do is go to your physician and have your thyroid functioning checked, particularly if your hand is thinning on the crown of your head. Other symptoms of poor thyroid function are weight gain, very dry skin, excessive ... (read in full...)
I was just a rebound guy for her and this hurts...how do I cope?
Q. Well its been a while since i've posted in here, time has gone by and i have been trying to forget about my past memories with my ex but sometimes these feelings and memories just makes me miss those times that i have spent with her so much that i ...
A. 12 January 2007: When a person you love breaks your heart it takes time to get over. At first you think about them every second of the day, and then it's every minute, and then every hour. Pretty soon you are skipping hours of time in between thinking about them, ... (read in full...)
I want someone I can have a future with-should I break it off with him?
Q. Hey everyone! A very happy new year to you all! I wanted your opinion on this dilemma i'm faced with. I'm 25 and my boyf is 3 yrs n 10 months younger than me. We're very much in love and have been for the last yr n a half. I come from a family wh...
A. 12 January 2007: Your bf is sending you subtle messages, that he is not planning on committing to you anytime soon, and that it's going to be some time (if ever) before he is ready to. You want a committment that will fit in to your scheduled life plan. Somehow ... (read in full...)
I'm only dating him to piss of his ex gf and get back at her. Should I tell him?
Q. I'm 15 and I have recently gotten myself a boyfriend and he is 16. Lately I've noticed that maybe my feelings for him aren't there completely for him. I mean I've liked him before and everything was great but I feel it deep in my heart that I'm just ...
A. 12 January 2007: Obviously you don't want advice from any of us because you have completely dismissed and refused to acknowlege anything that any of us posted. It certainly does verify to us how immature and genuinely selfish you really are, we all believed that we ... (read in full...)
We haven't been getting along for the past year - is it our age difference?
Q. problem , i"m 41 and my girlfriend is 28,we have been together 7 yrs and for the most part its been the best ever relationship i've been in, (two previous relationships)for the past twelve months the relationship has slowly been going wrong, clashes ...
A. 12 January 2007: This is a tough one because you really aren't giving us examples of what the clashes are over, so it is hard to comment on anything specific. So I will make some general statements that I hope can enlighten you... they may be way off the mark, but ... (read in full...)
Just started a relationship but I am embarrased about the size of my penis!
Q. I have recently gotten into a relationship with what i feel is the love of my life but i am embarrased about the size of my penis and i want to make love, i feel its a good way to show my love to her...i dont know what to do....please help !...
A. 12 January 2007: Coming from a woman that has seen more than one penis, and on the receiving end of some of those penis's, I can say with out a doubt... they come in all shapes and sizes. :)
If you feel that this woman is the love of your life and you are ready to... (read in full...)
I've never used birth-control before and I have a few questions about it!
Q. question from a 16-year-old..isn't birth control bad for you body and health?..i've never used a birth control before..so i dont know how it works..do u have to keep using them?.....
A. 12 January 2007: Birth Control (specifically the pill) has been around and commonly in use since the late 1960's. It is MUCH safer today, than it was then. With new technology and research the pill is able to do it's job with far less horomones than it used to.
... (read in full...)
He does nothing when he gets home and breaks promises. He blames me for that! What do I do?
Q. I have been with my husband for three years. We have a combined 7 children, including one together. He has always been what you would call a "free spirit", But lately I have caught him lying, and he has been less attentive than usual. He doesnt ...
A. 11 January 2007: The last four words in your question spoke volumes. "He does not respect me." You are right, he doesn't respect you. And he knows no matter how much he promises he can get away with not doing it because you have been doing the same thing to him ... (read in full...)
My friend is worried about the shape of her vagina!
Q. I am writing on behalf of a friend who is very worried about the shape of her 'bits'. She shaves because she is very hairy and she is scared to go into showers with other girls because everything hangs down. She feels a bit of a freak. What can she ...
A. 11 January 2007: All bits are different. None of them are alike. So I am sure that she is normal.
I would think that shaving her bits would make thier natural shape show more than if her bits were covered with hair. Prior to the "hair removal movement" when wom... (read in full...)
I like to please myself because I don't have a boyfriend. Am I normal?
Q. dear cupid i dont have a boyfriend so i like 2 masterbate. Am i normal? I feel weird afterwards but it makes me feel better about myself. wat shud i do? shud i stop masterbating? please help me xoxoxo...
A. 11 January 2007: Nope, no need to feel guilty, and better for you than random encounters! Perfectly normal, no worries.... (read in full...)
I'm only dating him to piss of his ex gf and get back at her. Should I tell him?
Q. I'm 15 and I have recently gotten myself a boyfriend and he is 16. Lately I've noticed that maybe my feelings for him aren't there completely for him. I mean I've liked him before and everything was great but I feel it deep in my heart that I'm just ...
A. 11 January 2007: You're gonna get a Mom reply on this one. Sorry you asked for advice/opinion, so I'll give you one.
Yeah, you are a "bad guy" here. Why on Earth would you be so vindictive? She did nothing but date a guy you "liked." Why would she need per... (read in full...)
15 and secretly agreed to marry my secret boyfriend!
Q. Im 15 years old and my boyfriend who ive been with for two years asked me to marry him, on christmas eve. Ive said yes and although we are keeping our relationship secret from everyone else because were afraid they'll ruin it i have decided i want ...
A. 10 January 2007: At 15 you do not have the emotional maturity to understand all the aspects that are involved in getting married. AND neither does your boyfriend if he can't even acknowlege that you are his girlfriend.
Marriage isn't one long happy date! It's wo... (read in full...)
How do I help my grieving wife?
Q. how can i help my wife whos just lost her dad. She was extremely close to him and is absolutly distrought. She gets upset an awfull lot which i can understand but she tends to hold it all back and it really hurts me to see her like that because you ...
A. 10 January 2007: Hold her when she feels like she is falling apart, allow her time when she needs to be alone, listen to her when ever she needs to talk, act normal when she feels like being normal, suggest simple yet distracting things, take her out to dinner when ... (read in full...)
My bf is way, way too sensitive about everything!!! What can I do about this?
Q. I need advice on how to deal with an over sensitive boyfriend... I've been with my boyfriend for a few months now but I dont know how long it will last. I never thought I would be complaining about a guy being sensitive but he really is a big ba...
A. 10 January 2007: Personally I think a little effort from you to reassure him that you are NOT going anywhere, that you love him, that your intentions are good, and that there is no one else you would rather be with in this world more than him would do a world of ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 - I'm so curious to know if I'm pregnant. When's it okay to take a test?
Q. im 16 and im in the most wonderful relationship that i have been in!!..but here's the thing..i've lost my virginity to my bf..and i dont think i regret it..but im still scared of getting pregnant..when should i take the pregnancy test after i have ...
A. 10 January 2007: You may typically take a pregnancy test as soon as you know your period is late.
Now.... Instead of relying on a pregnancy test to see if you are pregnant (hopfully you are not) let's work on preventing a pregnancy in the first place.
When yo... (read in full...)
My abusive ex who I have kids with stopped taking drugs and straightened himself out. Should I give him another chance, or stay with my new guy?
Q. Dear Cupid, I married my high school sweetheart. We were together for 11 years total and have three children together. He was abusive both mentally and physically and had a severe substance abuse problem. I kicked him out over 5 1/2 years ago....
A. 10 January 2007: You say, "Although I care for him, I am afraid of him treating me the same as before and I am not sure that I love him anymore." Unless you can answer this question with an absolute, I love him and I KNOW he will never do this again, you should ... (read in full...)
He said he was single and childless, but he's married w/ a daughter! How can I trust him again??
Q. Do we have a future. My partner and I have been together for a year, he has lied constantly throughout his relationship, initially saying he was single and childless, as it turns out he is married with a 20 month old daughter. He told me in March ...
A. 10 January 2007: You can't trust him. The only way this guy has fessed up to the truth is when he is blatently busted. What makes you think he is going to be honest from now on when he hasn't been honest in the past? My opinion... he will continue to lie, and ... (read in full...)
I'm more lonely in this, my second marriage than I was in my first!
Q. Im fealing really lonely in my marriage. We have been together for 6yrs and married for 3 yet he never wonts to do anything with me or my 2 children all hes intrested in is computors and says this his is job. i dont see it that way as he will work ...
A. 10 January 2007: First no one can make you feel like crap unless you allow them to, and this may be part of the reason why you feel more lonely in this marriage than you did in the first one. I suspect there may be some underlying issues that you need to resolve on ... (read in full...)
It's our first time meeting up together - how should I represent myself?
Q. Hello there i have a question There is a guy i know but he does not know me i have asked him to get to know him and he has agreed with great interest. I really want him to enjoy my company and want to see me again so should i tell him everyth...
A. 10 January 2007: Represent yourself as you really are! I wouldn't go in to this situation feeling like you need to sell yourself to him, your personality will do that all on it's own. I'd tell him you love to sing, but I wouldn't demonstrate unless he asks you ... (read in full...)
I couldn't get it up when we were going to make love. Is it nerves? What can I do?
Q. HI, im 22, met a really nice girl just before christmas, probaly to nice for me, but she does really like me. anyway, went to hers the other nite and was going to make love but i couldnt get or sustain a full erection, this was my first time so im ...
A. 10 January 2007: I'm sure this is all nerves and anxiety... and don't take his behavior personally!...little men are more sensitive to stress than you imagine them to be! Take your time, keep doing what you are doing, learn your parter a bit more... so you can ... (read in full...)
He's stopped drinking at the furry cup!
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 6 months now. The thing is, he has completely stopped giving me oral, which i absolutely love and dont think i want a relationship where theres no chance of it. He did right at the beginning of when we ...
A. 10 January 2007: Well, you can't force him to do this if he doesn't want to (or like to). You CAN have him explain to you why it is such an issue with him. But you have to be willing to accept his answer and leave it at that. If he gives you something like, "Well, ... (read in full...)
How could I reach O with him on top?
Q. As the song goes.."she only comes when she's on top" am i normal!!!?? Yes, this is my problem and its troubling me a lot ever since. I couldnt come unless im on top or unless im touching myself. I have no clue if im the only person that has ...
A. 10 January 2007: You are certainly not the only one with this problem but the solution I found is to lower my legs so they are parallel to his,(instead of wrapped around him) but still slightly bent at the knees. This pushes the area that needs the "action" closer ... (read in full...)
New year means new things! What is the scariest thing you have ever done in your life?
Q. Just a general question really to all you guys and gals out there; what is the scariest thing/s you have ever done? See I read this question in a magazine recently and couldn't think of anything scary I had done so I thought I'd put this questio...
A. 10 January 2007: Bungie jumped off a 130 ft. tower over a lake full of Lord knows what. I hate heights and I sink like a rock when in water. I am still living, so it was a success. And I am SO glad I did it! It made me feel like I can overcome anything... and so ... (read in full...)
He hates my kids so will our relationship work?
Q. my parner keeps threatening to leave when we argue about my kids. we also have a baby, i only have one son living with us. my partner says he is honest with me and is trying to make our life better and because my 3 sons have all been in trouble with ...
A. 10 January 2007: Bravo! Bravo, Irish!!! Excellent advice! You nailed it!... (read in full...)
Am I picky about who I date, or just intuitive?
Q. I am 30 years old, I feel that no matter how I struggle, how much I try to pull myself out of my hole. I am making no head way. I am single I have no children and a non job so to speak. I have debts coming out of my ears and feel that I havent ha...
A. 9 January 2007: Please don't settle! Wait for Mr. Right, they sneak up on you when you least expect it. It took me until I was 36 to find mine. I kissed a lot of toads, dove in to crappy relationships, slept with a bunch of pigs, and was just about ready to give ... (read in full...)
I'm down! Is it because I don't know what to do with my future, career-wise?
Q. I keep getting negative thoughts and feeling slightly emotional, allthough I don't cry. It gets worse usually when it gets dark, and i feel no hope and have nothing too look forward too. I am happy around my girlfriend but not so much my family and ...
A. 9 January 2007: It sounds to me like you are depressed. Please see your gp and talk to him/her how you are feeling. Counseling and/or medication maybe in order. You will be surprised at how much better you feel once this dark mood lifts. It will, but not ... (read in full...)
Husband is behaving secretively...is he having an affair?
Q. my husband has been very secretive lately, i am really worried he is having an affair, he is 50 and i am 38, we have been together for 19 yrs and have 3 kids, i admit i have not been easy to live with but neither has he. but things that he tells me...
A. 9 January 2007: While I can't say if he is having an affair, something has changed, and it does seem he is hiding something. It could be something as benign as him trying to surprise you with an anniversary gift or something like that. (The secretive shopping, the ... (read in full...)
Is love supposed to be painful?
Q. Is love suppose to be painfull?...
A. 9 January 2007: No, Love isn't painful. The painful part is the crap you have to deal with by having a relationship with someone you love. The sick kids, the dying relatives, the mortgage that worries you to death, the pain of our own insecurities, etc. It's the ... (read in full...)
We have a history, but he's afraid of commitment. Would a friends with benefits relationship work?
Q. I have known my ex for a very long time since 8th grade. We dated a year after gradution. We dated for 3 months. Things got pretty serious between us. I was suppose to move in with him back in october cuz my ma and me were fighting and she wanted me ...
A. 9 January 2007: Honey you are playing with fire here. I will try to answer your last question first, and then reply with a short note to your long post. Why are men afraid of comittment? Because you are not the one for him. Period.
You say you want to be fwb, ... (read in full...)
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