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Single Mom of two boys, been married, and then not married. :)So yes, I do have some experience in the relationship department. A student of hard knocks and university. Love observing people and figuring out what makes them tick. Have been told I have an uncanny ability to weed out the problem and get right to the core of the issue at hand. I've been accused on being the person to come to when you need a "kick in the @ss" and some brutally honest advice. Those are my qualifications; what more do you need to know? |
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How do I deal with my awkwardness about the girl at work I fancy... ?
Q. Hi everyone. I work part-time and at my work there is this girl who I have been crushing on for awhile. We have spoken once and it was when she was new, which was almost 2 months ago. There have been rumors going around about us which are ...
A. 5 January 2007: Perfect solution for you. If all she wants to do is just talk, then that is how it will be. You will have gained a friend. But you won't know that until you give it a go. Take a deep breath and give it a try!... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my teacher!
Q. I've recently got quite close to one of my teachers from school (I'm 21 now). We'd had each others email addresses from school and had kept in touch through that for some time as we had got on really well at school but, over the last few months we ...
A. 5 January 2007: Having your follow up information does change the circumstances a bit. But based on your initial information, I could come to no other conclusion than I did. Overall, my basic opinion has not changed at all, I still believe that this is a ... (read in full...)
After our messy relationship ended, I just feel numb. Why?
Q. OKAY! Here is the deal....my ex and I went out for 6 months....during our relationship he cheated on me with some girl that I know. He begged me not to leave him and I gave him a second chance...bc I loved the man. During our relatipnship we shared ...
A. 5 January 2007: Hon this is normal.... trust me your head, heart, and body are all fighting on the inside about who gets to express what you are gonna feel first. One of them is going to win and you'll start feeling something eventually.... when you are ready to ... (read in full...)
My bf goes out all night w/ his friends. I get nervous thinking he might still do this if we have a family - any advice?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years we are both 26 live together and have a great life. The one thing which is stopping it being perfect is the way i am when he says he is going out. He goes out twice a week at most with his friends to ...
A. 5 January 2007: Your feelings tell me that subconsiously you are beginning to consider that possibility of a long term (marriage/children) committment with your boyfriend, and his going out with his buddies is going to be an issue with you if the two of you do get ... (read in full...)
My husband and stepson have physically abused me. I want to leave, but fear hurting the children we have together. And where would I stand financially?
Q. I have been married for 17rs and have suffered some physical abuse from my husband and from my stepson, whom my husband stuck up for. We no longer have any common interests and i need the courage to leave but am frightened to lose everything. We ...
A. 5 January 2007: First we cannot tell you where you will stand finacially because we don't know your financial situation, or where you live so we can offer you places to go and get help... but I CAN and will offer you advice about living in a situation where abuse ... (read in full...)
I've only just lost my virginity but he says I'm too loose and he can't feel anything!
Q. ok girls, I need some advice on a delicate subject ... Me and my bf started sleeping together a few weeks ago - first time for both of us. the problem is that i'm worried about whether there might be something wrong with me, and since he's my fi...
A. 5 January 2007: Okay, now that I have had time to feel insulted FOR you, I'll try to answer this question with a little more sensitivity.
Dr. Pete does have a point, your boyfriend IS being less than sensitive in this situation. And Yes, his lack of sensitiv... (read in full...)
My husband pre-ejaculates - what could be the problem?
Q. Thank you to everyone who answered my last Q. Maybe you can help me with another. My husband always pre-ejaculates and doesn't know why. what would his problem be. Maybe then he wouldn't be so insecure when it came to loving me....
A. 5 January 2007: I understand this 'problem' is probably very frustrating for both of you. Him because "it" isn't working the way he wants it to, and you because you really would like to do something to help him.
You don't say whether or not he is able to get a... (read in full...)
He said I brainwashed him into being gay... I have feelings for him!
Q. ok...I'm in my sophomore year and I started talking to this guy during my freshman year. This guy seemed like a normal every-day-life boy and we like talking to each other on msn. We never really talk to each other in real life(for some unknown ...
A. 5 January 2007: First it is impossible to brainwash someone in to being gay. It sounds like your friend is questioning his sexuality, has an attraction to you but isn't ready to act on it for fear of ridicule, and for being something other than straight. High ... (read in full...)
Why didn't my highschool sweetheart call?
Q. I started dating someone I knew in high school (20yrs. ago). we hit it off famously, and I really thought there may be a future in it. Then he stopped calling and just emailed. for 6 weeks. the last set of emails was how much he missed me and l...
A. 5 January 2007: It sounds to me there is more going on that you are saying, or he is admitting. Guys CALL you if they are really interested, not ignore your request and email. Is he married? Is he hiding something from you? Maybe he feels like things between ... (read in full...)
How do I get dates aged 42?
Q. I want to date again... but I don't know how. I'm 42 but everyone tells me I look much younger. I've been divorced 8 years and am I full-time working single mom, so I haven't dated because I've been working on loving myself again... and being a ...
A. 5 January 2007: First keep trying the internet thing... don't settle for some loser who you wouldn't even consider any other time, but keep an open mind. Try to approach the selection process by thinking "No, he may not be long term relationship material just by ... (read in full...)
I've only just lost my virginity but he says I'm too loose and he can't feel anything!
Q. ok girls, I need some advice on a delicate subject ... Me and my bf started sleeping together a few weeks ago - first time for both of us. the problem is that i'm worried about whether there might be something wrong with me, and since he's my fi...
A. 5 January 2007: I completely 100% agree with Dr. Pete... (excellent)...this guy is a thoughtless dink. Maybe HE is just too small?!... (read in full...)
Will B ever be able to trust me after I lied to him so many times about J?
Q. Ok here is my story. This may be a long story but PLEASE help me! (background info, i'm 21) I guess I will begin about a year and a half ago I began dating this guy who we will refer to as B. We dated for about 2 months and everything was g...
A. 5 January 2007: Girlfriend you got yourself in a big mess. I have answered a question similar to this recently and I will tell you the same thing that I told the other girl that cheated. No, he probably won't forgive you any time soon, he may try to, and if he ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my awkwardness about the girl at work I fancy... ?
Q. Hi everyone. I work part-time and at my work there is this girl who I have been crushing on for awhile. We have spoken once and it was when she was new, which was almost 2 months ago. There have been rumors going around about us which are ...
A. 5 January 2007: She is giving you loud and clear messages that she WOULD like to talk to you, and you sound almost painfully shy... a difficult thing to overcome, especially when it involves talking to a new person you believe you really like. Talk to her about ... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my teacher!
Q. I've recently got quite close to one of my teachers from school (I'm 21 now). We'd had each others email addresses from school and had kept in touch through that for some time as we had got on really well at school but, over the last few months we ...
A. 5 January 2007: Listen... you need to stop what you are doing right now. This guy is grooming you to be his 'little on the side chippy," and that is the LAST thing you need. This is how pedeophiles lure thier victims... not kidding here. Please take this ... (read in full...)
My bf of almost a year just told me he cheated on me physically and emotionally for several months at the beginning of our relationship!
Q. Hi cupid, I've been with my guy for about 10 1/2 months and up until now everything has been perfect between us. We met online, and hit it off from the start and our relationship has just blossomed and we fell in love with each other around 6...
A. 5 January 2007: Lets put this in perspective. He slept with someone a month after he met you. At this point in the relationship had the two of you had the "I'm committed to dating only you talk?" or did you just assume that from the very first date he wasn't ... (read in full...)
Is sweating part of puberty?
Q. is sweating related to puberty? if it is then does that mean that i will grow out of it?...
A. 4 January 2007: Yes, increased sweating is a part of puberty due to fluctating horomones. More than likely you WILL out grow excessive sweating once you reach maturity. In the mean time, bath regularly, put your deodorant on, and try to find some humor in the ... (read in full...)
Walked in on my boyfriend bashing the bishop...
Q. I went into the room that my bf was at and caught him masterbating. He had pictures taped on the wall, all of them with blonde hair. (his ex gf has blonde hair) He got upset with me, like I was interupting him!! I went out of there real fast. Was ...
A. 4 January 2007: You may be right, Ponungalungb, there may be more to this story than we are hearing. I applaud you for being a chef and whipping up cake at a moments notice. My point in the cake analogy is, not all guys want to make the effort the moment they get ... (read in full...)
I'm worried to sleep with my boyfriend because I'm worried about how my labia minora's look!!
Q. I need your advice, im 17 and thinking about sleeping with my bf for the first time. the problem is im really embarressed as i have large labia minora's that hang down outside the lips of my vagina. Im really insecure about them and i dont know what ...
A. 4 January 2007: You don't say how far it hangs down, but unless it is INCHES (meaning MORE than one...no stretching!) I would not be alarmed at all. What you consider a problem is not really a problem at all. This is normal... every womans "parts" look different. ... (read in full...)
I was depressed and treated my wife like a jerk. After realizing it, I went to therapy. Things are different w/ us now, though. Should I just walk away?
Q. Ok, well this is one of those things where I have no Idea to start, so we'll start at the begenning. Good a place as any, right? My wife and I were friends from the start, from there it turned into "friends with benefits". I knew she wanted m...
A. 4 January 2007: Sit her down in front of the computer, pull this post up on the screen, say "I wrote this, please read it, and tell me what you think." Then leave the room and wait for her to come to you.... (read in full...)
He said to a female friend that he loved her. Should I read more into this?
Q. my partner sent some woman a text saying "i love you" on new years eve", when i confronted him he said "oh thats just a good friend of mine from uni, im just showing i care because its new years eve", should i read more into this? it would be out of ...
A. 4 January 2007: Let's chalk this one up to 'poor judgement' on his part. Obviously he wasn't REALLY thinking about how you would feel when he told some other woman that he loved her... no matter how innocent it was. It would have been more appropriate for him to ... (read in full...)
I feel like we're perfect for each other because we just get along so well... except he has a girlfriend
Q. I'm 20 and I'm in love with a 29-year old guy. He's of a different nationality. We met in my University, he told me he had been watching me for a while and he would like to get to know me. At first I thought he liked me more than friends because he ...
A. 4 January 2007: Honey, he's manipulating you and playing with you like you are a toy. A best friend does not treat a fellow best friend like this. Why would you want a relationship with someone like this... sure you may have a lot in common and you share ... (read in full...)
Woman I love doesn't understand that where I live doesn't have anything to do with us.
Q. i have been seeing a woman for about 10 years i love her but she doesn't understand that where i live has nothing to do with us.i got a girl pregnant many years ago her family disowned her.we made a home together for the baby.i can no longer work ...
A. 4 January 2007: No, YOU don't understand that it DOES matter where you live. She has invested 10 years in a relationship with you, that is a lot of time and a huge chunk of a persons life. Yeah, she's been in denial, this is nothing more than an affair to you, ... (read in full...)
My ex and I have slept together..and nothing has progressed. Does he love me?
Q. Ex and I split 8 months ago, very suddenly. It left me devastated. 4 months later on his 30th,he was drunk, said he loved me and i slept with him. Nothing else happened. We argued as i thought he used me. We became friends again. i slept with him 4 ...
A. 4 January 2007: Why wouldn't a guy take advantage of some convienent sex with someone he is familiar with. There is no need to have to learn what 'does it for you' like it would be with a new relationship. In his mind, I beleve, you have been placed in the ... (read in full...)
When does an age "difference" become an "age gap"?
Q. When does an age difference become an "age gap"? I'm always confused by this. I kind of always thought that an age gap relationship was when there is 10+ years between the partners, but I've just found out that my 8 year age difference puts me under ...
A. 4 January 2007: Honestly, I never knew that there were different definitions... I always thought that they were used interchangably. Age gap vs. age difference, same thing to me... just a number.... (read in full...)
Walked in on my boyfriend bashing the bishop...
Q. I went into the room that my bf was at and caught him masterbating. He had pictures taped on the wall, all of them with blonde hair. (his ex gf has blonde hair) He got upset with me, like I was interupting him!! I went out of there real fast. Was ...
A. 4 January 2007: I'd imagine that he was pretty embarassed about being busted. There is a difference between doing it by your self and mutually masterbating with a partner... ya know? A different mind set in the whole situation is needed. As for the pictures, they ... (read in full...)
How can you forget somebody you love?
Q. I split from my ex because I was constantly cheated on and lied to. She slept with a guy over 100 times over the space of 6 months. I finished her many times, only to take her back about 90 times. I felt like I needed her in my life, because there ...
A. 4 January 2007: Many of us have 'loved' someone who is bad for us. The key to endng these toxic relationships is by 'loving' ourselves more. It is not uncommon for people to remain in relationships because they believe that they can fix the other persons obvious ... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my father's stepdaughter and I wonder if she feels the same way. How can I find out?
Q. Ok, I have fallin' for a girl and it involves circumstances a little out of the ordinary. My father became remarried to a woman about 7 or 8 yrs ago. This woman already had a daughter from a previous marriage. Her daughter wasn't an adult when ...
A. 3 January 2007: I've been thinking about this one for awhile before posting my "advice." My suggestion is... approach her as simply a friend... kinda like "Hey, I know you, you know me, let's go have dinner and hang out." DO this for awhile, then you will ... (read in full...)
Mistakenly told a friend I really like I loved her. She's distant to me now. What can I do to fix this?
Q. I met this girl a couple of months ago and we became good friends quite fast. She really likes my friend although he doesnt like her back. Anyway I ended up drunk a few nights ago and told her on the phone i loved her. Now I apoligised to he...
A. 3 January 2007: Well, I'd say she is probably bit freaked out about this. After all she has been looking at your friend with romantic interest, not you. I'd say call her up, tell her you meant what you said, (if you truly meant it), and that you hope that this ... (read in full...)
Is my ex messing with my head?
Q. I have a ex who i still care for,does he care for me or am i jst a toy i dont know.I cant seem to understand him when hes drunk he loves me and never wanted me to move and we will text all day then like nothinghe wont answer me back for days or ...
A. 3 January 2007: Yeah, he's messing with your head, simply because it bothered you enough to ask for advice here. Not to be sarcastic or anything, but why are you bothering with this guy. He's inconsistant, only loves you when he's drunk and messes with your head. ... (read in full...)
I want to date him, but am afraid it will not work and will be awkward afterwards. Any advice?
Q. Hi, I was confused and hoped someone could help. Recently a friend I had had admitted to me that he liked me and wondered what I felt about him. We haven't been friends long (like 3 months) and I said I'd just like to be friends for now and we could ...
A. 3 January 2007: My suggestion is to simply continue what you are doing, hanging out, having fun and learning about each other as time goes by. Deciding if he should be your boyfriend shouldn't be a difficult and formal decision for you to make. It will either ... (read in full...)
He lives far away now and I feel we're growing apart. How can I show that I still love him?
Q. i have been with my bf for just over 2 years but recently he moved away because of work (temporarily). i will get to see him once a month, thats if im lucky- this is making me really depressed. it feels like hes on the other side of the world and ...
A. 3 January 2007: Hon, it sounds like you are just missing him horribly. Which is normal... he's not there right now. The best advice I can give to you is make the MOST of your telephone conversations, tell him how you feel, and see him as often as possible. ... (read in full...)
Developed feelings for my supervisor at work!
Q. hey this may not sound like a big problem but to me it is. i started my job a little over a month ago now but ive developed feelings for my supervisor and cant get him out of my head. i have no idea if he feels the same way and i want to approach ...
A. 3 January 2007: Whoa, slow down! You just started a job a little over a month ago which tells me you have actually spent maybe 200 hours with this guy, you are falling in love with him , he is your supervisor and you have no idea if he likes you back the same way ... (read in full...)
Feel I'm not the love of his life, and maybe his ex-wife was...
Q. I've been living with my partner for a year and a half and we've been together 3 and a half years. He was only married 2 years (no kids) when his partner said she was having an affair, however she took about 6 months to move out and in that time...
A. 3 January 2007: Right now, at this moment he is with you. He spoke of his marriage as suffocating, and explained to you that his marriage didn't work because SHE wasn't YOU. He loves you, he is with you, and he is committed to being with you simply by the fact ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and want to get married. Is there any way to bypass parent permission?
Q. me and my boyfriend live in kansas. im 16 and i want to get married to him. the only way to do that though is if i have parent permission. i know my parents wouldnt like the fact that i want to get married at this young of age. is there anyway to ...
A. 3 January 2007: At 16 you are too young to be making such a life altering decision. I understand at 16 you feel things deeply, and can possibly be in love, but there are reasons why there are laws against getting married in Kansas at 16. It is because you truly ... (read in full...)
We were talking marriage and kids - then he broke up with me. Three weeks later he has a new gf! I'm sick over it. Help!
Q. hi i am in need of some help and advice !! my bf split up with me by a txt msg after 2 years and has never told me why our relationship was not completely perfect as he never had time for me in his life we only seen each other about 3 times a week ...
A. 3 January 2007: It is obvious that you are hurting, and that is normal when you have been counting on someone being there with you and they suddenly bail on you without a real explination. This guy is completely selfish, and that is not something that you can cure ... (read in full...)
When speaking of her ex she said "That was the life I should have had." She also secretly met with other men. How can I get over this?
Q. My relationship with my girlfriend broke up just before Christmas. She was unable to let go of a relationship she had with her violent and abusive ex. I objected to her seeing him as I felt that it was derogatory to our relationship. A friend of ...
A. 3 January 2007: First, I hope you HAVE gotten out of this relationship. This woman sounds toxic, and addicted to drama. Not something anyone needs in their life unless it is a good kind of drama. She sounds emotionally damaged, and is projecting her own hurt on ... (read in full...)
I really, really hate seeing my ex around anywhere. Is this typical?
Q. Hi! I had a question with my break-up. It happened a month ago and I'm pretty sure I'm over it... but not completely sure. I still see her in the school hallways somtimes and I hate it. I NEVER ever want to see her again. Is this typical? I wasn't ...
A. 3 January 2007: When you are 'getting over' a relationship it is typical to go through this stage. Often immediately after a break up you are sad, then that transforms in to anger, and then finally acceptance. Acceptance isn't to say that you want to be her best ... (read in full...)
When I masurbate, I always fantasize that I am the man-is this normal?
Q. Hi guys and girls!! Well I am a bit embarassed to be putting this on here as it is a very personal thing, and hope that some people can give some constructive advice. Or reassure me that I am relatively normal...if there is such a thing!!! Thin...
A. 3 January 2007: Sure it's normal... if it turns you on and it helps you, why not? I think all of us wonder what it would be like to be in the other persons "shoes". Since it is impossible to truly find out, then imagination is the next best thing. Fantasize ... (read in full...)
How do I end a relationship with nice girl in the least hurtful way?
Q. How do I end a relationship with nice girl in the least hurtful way? I have been in a relationship with a girl for some months now but I want to end It. There are 2 issues that complicate this. 1) Ive developed feeling for another girl, she ha...
A. 3 January 2007: It's never easy to end a relationship, whether is has been a good one or a bad one. And everyone has done it, at least once in their life, so know that it is survivable by BOTH parties. IMHO, I would make arrangements to have her best friend ... (read in full...)
I'm terrified that this marriage is a mistake - 3 months in and it's already a nightmare!
Q. Sorry this is VERY long!! i am 29 and married just 3 months. My hubby is 24 and we were dating nearly 7 years before we got married.The first few weeks after the honeymoon were great but the past few weeks have been a nightmare. I feel so down, an...
A. 3 January 2007: Three months in a new marriage may seem like forever when it is happening, but in the big picture it is simply a snap shot in time. You say you had to move to live with your new hubby, which tells me this is the first time you have actually LIVED ... (read in full...)
He refused to tell me why our relationship didn't work out for him. He also totally changed his appearance after our break up. Why?
Q. Hi there, I am feeling very down. Perhaps partly post xmas blues, but made worse by the fact I like someone still who I don't think wants me. I am 25 and xmas has been good with all my friends etc. I was seeing a guy perhaps I should no...
A. 3 January 2007: Sounds to me like this guy wasn't presenting his REAL self to you and was unable to keep up the charade any longer. You say that he looked smart, was a gentleman, and introduced you to his family, yet when he came by to break things off with you, ... (read in full...)
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