Like what
she writes?
... Add *illy223 to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *illy223 a private message | | | *illy223's profile:Having a hard time coming up with anything exciting for this... life is boring (and I like it that way, Thank You.)
Single Mom of two boys, been married, and then not married. :)So yes, I do have some experience in the relationship department. A student of hard knocks and university. Love observing people and figuring out what makes them tick. Have been told I have an uncanny ability to weed out the problem and get right to the core of the issue at hand. I've been accused on being the person to come to when you need a "kick in the @ss" and some brutally honest advice. Those are my qualifications; what more do you need to know? |
|
I'm interested in a man at my son's school. Should I approach him? If so, how?
Q. There is a man at my son's school who I have become very attracted to (yes I am a single mum). I know this guy is single unfortunately due to losing his wife to cancer. I would like to pluck up the courage to speak to him and get to know him but ...
A. 24 January 2007: This is a perfect opportunity to strike up a conversation with him! "I noticed you are parking down here now. It really makes it convenient to get out of here in all the confusion!" You can't know him if you don't speak to him. This is how ... (read in full...)
We have a history, but he's afraid of commitment. Would a friends with benefits relationship work?
Q. I have known my ex for a very long time since 8th grade. We dated a year after gradution. We dated for 3 months. Things got pretty serious between us. I was suppose to move in with him back in october cuz my ma and me were fighting and she wanted me ...
A. 9 January 2007: Honey you are playing with fire here. I will try to answer your last question first, and then reply with a short note to your long post. Why are men afraid of comittment? Because you are not the one for him. Period.
You say you want to be fwb, ... (read in full...)
My ex treated me badly, but I still love him. Now I'm fearful of him manipulating my feelings since he started contacting me again!
Q. Hi Agony Aunts and Uncles... I have a problem with my ex. After 2 months of no contact, my ex now wants to see me again. He has treated me badly in the past - dumped me by just not answering my calls etc....I was madly in love with him, and ...
A. 9 January 2007: Nope, there is nothing you can do to explore this 'opportuniy' whilst remaining in control of the situation. You've already proven this to yourself by continuing to go back to him, and not being strong enough to ignore his text messages after you ... (read in full...)
We are engaged, but after our last row I feel I deserve better. I don't want to regret this decision!
Q. I have been with my fiancé 5 year and engaged for 2 and due to get married this summer. We have alway got on really well, never lived together but started building a house which is nearly complete. We don't row much but when we do I alway's se...
A. 9 January 2007: Well now that you have enlightened yourself to what your expectations are, you need to pass them on to him. (By the way, it is good that you did this thinking before marriage, rather than after... it's easier to deal with sooner than later!) Tell ... (read in full...)
He looks at pics of naked women, so why doesn't he want to dress *me* up and play around with photos?
Q. Please help me - my boyf has always been honest about the fact he looks at porn at thats cool cause i doto sometimes but its like he is addicted to it i know he looks at ametuer sites whenever possible and thats what gets me its just photos of women ...
A. 9 January 2007: Sometimes I think the appeal of porn is not just in the pictures themelves, but that they are pictures of SOMEONE else. You are his gf, he is with you, and otherwise you are content with hs porn viewing correct? It may be that he respects you more ... (read in full...)
His sister's fiancee and I seem better suited for each other. How do I find out how this guy really feels?
Q. Im in love with my boyfriends, sisters fiancee. We flirt when we are together and when we r together he does all the a typical flirting body language. I know hes due to be married, but i feel deep down we are better suited. I think we are both to s...
A. 9 January 2007: I'd recommend that you don't even TRY to find out. Think about the repercussions of 'trying to find out." You risk hurting your boyfriend, his sister, her fiancee, and the entire family for something that is a definite unknown, and for what seems ... (read in full...)
We're only good friends but...I want sex with him soo bad! What should I do?
Q. You see I got out of a really bad relationship...and me and my ex don't talk anymore, we're practically enemies...I admit I don't have feelings for him anymore but for some reason I miss the sex soooo much! I just miss that feeling he gave me when ...
A. 9 January 2007: It's normal to miss the one good thing you have in a relationship, even if it was bad relationsip. He made you feel good when you had sex, and that is often what keeps us going back to those relationships that are horrible and distructive for us. ... (read in full...)
He can get an erection, but can't ejaculate. Any thoughts?
Q. My boyfriend is able to get an erection but cannot seem to ejaculate. We are in the early part of a relationship and have not yet sex yet but have been doing a lot of foreplay. As you can imagine this is causing a lot of tension. Any thoughts on why ...
A. 9 January 2007: I wouldn't worry about this until, when and if, you have sex. Having an orgasm in front of someone can often make a person feel vulnerable, and doing it with them watching only a few inches away may be the issue. Many guys have issues with the ... (read in full...)
My bf looks at gay porn and we hardly have sex anymore. I have to beg him to have sex.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now, we were together once before but I broke up with him after the birth of our son. Now I catch him looking a porn and pictures of men with men on the computer but I have to beg for two or ...
A. 9 January 2007: I agree with Shandy and Vina... something is going on here that isn't quite right, but that doesn't mean it's WRONG either. He could be looking at the man on man porn simply out of curiosity, and feels embarassed that you caught him, so he hides ... (read in full...)
He looks at Shemale Porn is this normal!?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been living together for 2 years now. we have a great relationship and good sex. my only concern is that he looks at shemale porn. is this normal? i'm a little nervous to ask him about it....
A. 9 January 2007: Normal is defined as "something the average masses find acceptable." So I can't tell you if your boyfriend looking at shemale porn is normal or not, since I am only one opinion. But... It seems to me, as long as it is not causeing a strain in your ... (read in full...)
I gave him till the end of the month to decide! Any tips on how I can sway him!!!!?
Q. i'v been seein this guy for 5 weeks now, and we are not bf and gf yet, but it really feels as though we are,and everyone thinks we are, as we do everything that a couple would do! i realy want a relationship with him, but we are not together yet...
A. 9 January 2007: I'd say you can do nothing more except wait. You've given him an ultimatum with a cut off point. Good idea, as long as you can follow through with it. You can't force someone to make a decision, and I'd say the only way you can 'sway' him is ... (read in full...)
Can you still have a healthy sex life at 40?
Q. hey guys, I am a young woman in my 20's and i have a question. How is it like to be in a relationship with a 40 year old man? Can you have a healthy sex life with them or is it not that frequent. ...
A. 9 January 2007: THAT totally depends on the guy... being 40 myself, I think I'm qualified to answer... No the frequency may not as high as if they were 18 (but there are exceptions :) ) but generally they are much more sincere, romantic, caring, and concerned about ... (read in full...)
I'm interested in a man at my son's school. Should I approach him? If so, how?
Q. There is a man at my son's school who I have become very attracted to (yes I am a single mum). I know this guy is single unfortunately due to losing his wife to cancer. I would like to pluck up the courage to speak to him and get to know him but ...
A. 9 January 2007: My suggestion... say "Hey, how 'bout coming over to my house for dinner next wednesday, I'm sure that it would be nice to eat a dinner cooked by someone else, and I'd enjoy the company. Please bring your daughter with you. I'd love to have you."... (read in full...)
I want to help my boyfriend with his drinking problem. Please advise!
Q. I am currently in a very serious long distance relationship. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 year, and have been close friends for longer than that. I am still in high school and he is in first year university. My problem is I think he is ...
A. 9 January 2007: If your boyfriend truly is an alcoholic there is NOT a lot you can do. I imagine he is telling you he doesn't believe that he drinks too much, it is not a problem, everybody that he hangs out with drinks this much, it is not affecting his life, ... (read in full...)
While drunk, I asked my ex's ex-bf about their sex life and he told her what I said. Now she's mad at me! What should I do?
Q. Saturday night i went out with my ex girlfriend's older brother as a lad's night out (3 Lads Went Out) that night my ex girlfriend went out down town where me and her brother was. i had a good night got drunk and then my problem started. i sa...
A. 8 January 2007: It doesn't really matter if she likes this lad more than you... although I doubt it. Right now she basically thinks you are more of an idiot than him. Nice move guy. First, her past sex life is really none of your business unless SHE tells you, ... (read in full...)
I want us to live together but he doesn't. How do I convince him to?
Q. my boyfriend and I have been together for a year. he says we will move in together sometime this year. i am ready to move in now. how do I get him and i on the same page in this situation ?...
A. 8 January 2007: Well you can't force him to get on the same page as you. The only thing you can do is express your feelings on the issue and wait. It seems that he has already given you his answer... "Sometime this year." Perhaps you can get him to compromise ... (read in full...)
I keep getting waves of sickness and dizziness, could this mean i am pregnant?
Q. I had sex with my boyfriend and the condom split...its way too late for emergency contraception now and we both tried our hardest top get some but we were refused and the doctors had no free appointments. We always use condoms but this time it ...
A. 8 January 2007: The only way you can be sure is to get a pregnancy test and take it. They offer many very good tests over the counter. Waves of dizzyness, and nausea often indicate pregnancy. I would be surprised if you were pregnant simply because you have had ... (read in full...)
Why is he enjoying the sensation of sex and i'm not?
Q. I want some other womens views about how sex is for them, please. I'm in a happy, long term relationship but I'm getting bored of sex! I know that women don't have to have an orgasm to make a baby so it's not as easy as it is for a guy but surely it ...
A. 8 January 2007: If you are able to orgasm with or with out him using your toys, then it makes sense that you should be able to orgasm while having sex minus the toys. It sounds to me like there may be a lack of communication going on here. Although you don't say ... (read in full...)
My bf is unhappy with his job and social life, but takes it out on me! I feel like leaving him.
Q. Im really frustrated and angry with my boyfriend. He is unhappy in his job and has no friends. He is taking it out on me because I'm at university and see my friends a lot, I'm working part time and I'm quite happy. We live together but its 50:50, i ...
A. 8 January 2007: If you feel like leaving him, then that is what you should do. He sounds jealous and/or depressed himself. You cannot make him happy, only he can do that. If he is at the point of smashing up the house in anger and blaming you for his ... (read in full...)
He slept w/ our maid for 10 months before I caught them! Counseling is not available in our area, so what can be done?
Q. i have been marriage for 18 years with four children.we are from the uk and have lived in thailand for the past two years,my hasband committed adultry with our live in thai maid for ten months before i caught them.she has gone and he said he was ...
A. 8 January 2007: None of us can predict the future, so we can't say whether or not he will do this again, so the real issue lies with "Should you stay or should you go?" An 18 year marriage is not something you should give up on easily, and your husband should have ... (read in full...)
He admitted to watching porn and paying for adult emails through our relationship... three days before our wedding! I couldn't back out and still feel resentful! Help!
Q. Hello. I've been married to my husband for almost two years. About three days before my husband and I married, I found out that he had been watching porn online and paying for emails from women to get him off. The reason I found out is because I ...
A. 8 January 2007: You should go to a counselor and talk about your feelings of resentment, betrayal, and how hurt you were by this. Hanging on to something for two years is not healthy. Marriage counseling would be a good idea too... if you resent him, then ... (read in full...)
I hate my ex for what he did to me. How do I behave when I see him?
Q. Me and my ex split bc of trust issues. We were on-again off-again status for about 4 months after our relationship ended. Every time that we split was because he wasn't sure what he felt for me. He kept saying "I don't know" and I was always stuck ...
A. 8 January 2007: What you should do is be a bigger person and simply ignore him. Because the two of you broke up, that makes him in the past. Go out, find someone new that isn't an immature jerk, and get on with your life. People that play games like he did ... (read in full...)
I want out of my marriage...how do I break the news to my wife?
Q. I've been in an exclusive relationship with my current wife for more than 8 years. And I want to get out of the relationship, although my wife apparently very much wants to continue the relationship. What I want to ask is how specifically cou...
A. 8 January 2007: Eight years is a long time to simply just give up on because she is negative and you want to pursue your, 'geeky' as you say, interests with your good friends. It sounds to me like you married her for the wrong reasons, in order to not be alone. ... (read in full...)
He lies, he calls me names, he threatens me and it's like I am not important to him! What can I do? (Long)
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and I love him with all of my heart and soul but he hurts me so much! He is always lying to me. He says he won't do drugs and then he goes out with his friend and does them, he never answers my calls ...
A. 8 January 2007: This is gonna be a brutal reply, but you asked for advice, and I am not going to waste words "fluffing it up."
BOTH of you are too immature to be carrying on a relationship. AND neither one of you really love each other. IF you did there wo... (read in full...)
he kissed me goodnight on the cheek! Does that mean he's "not" interested?
Q. hey Meet this guy and he is so sweet was the perfect gentlemen during the date, but l was so shy and quite and they where very quite moments during the date, but opened up as the date was coming to an end, but when he dropped me off he shook my ...
A. 8 January 2007: I wouldn't assume that he is not interested, I would assume that he is continuing to be a gentleman. If you are interested in seeing him again, I would call/email him that you had a great time, and you would like to do it again. Then wait and ... (read in full...)
Why do they always shoot their load so soon? Is it me?
Q. Why is it that everytime i have sex with a man they always ejaculate too quickly? Is it me or what? Im getting rather frustrated over this....
A. 8 January 2007: Okay, I'm gonna add my two cents to this thread now that I've had a chance to read some male opinions on the matter. This "premature load shooting problem" is not uncommon, at least in my experience. (Not giving anyone numbers on this!! LOL!) For ... (read in full...)
I like him but I Have to ask...was he trying to give me an 'out' from dating him? What do you all think?
Q. I met this man on true.com and he lives locally by me but his work takes him to the middle east and Russia consistantly. We had this instant connection and things have been going wonderful and even talking about commitments and we even both ...
A. 8 January 2007: I'd say if he was talking long-term committment, his statements that you thought were giving you an 'out' are actually fishing questions. It sounds to me like he is doing some serious thinking about this relationship and is assuring himself that ... (read in full...)
Am I actually 'coming' or...these odd feelings just leading up to one good orgasm? Help!
Q. am i getting an orgasm or are these feelings just steps up to one?! i dont think it could be a g-spot orgasm cause i dont go in "the hole" but i mean it is like a build up,.... my muscles in my legs, arms, stomach, everywhere tenses up th...
A. 8 January 2007: Well I think your hung up a technicality.... what ever is happening, if it is as you described sure sounds like fun, and I wouldn't knock it. In my personal experience not all orgasms feel the same, some take you out of this world and you wish ... (read in full...)
His attention and kisses don't feel as special as before...why is this?
Q. Hey The guy i really like, and he really likes me, asked me out and we have been hanging out a fair bit. I get along with his family really well and they make me feel so welcome. He is my first real bf and i do really like him but since we have bee...
A. 8 January 2007: This question makes me smile. This is what is called developing a relationship. While those initial "I've got butterflies in my stomach feeling everytime he walks in to the room" is a fantastic feeling, it is not realistic that it stays like that ... (read in full...)
Can I give him cold sores if I kiss him?
Q. well i just found out that cold sores can be transmited by kissing. i would like to figure out if i kiss my boyfriend on the cheek will he get a blister or a cold sore on his lip?...
A. 8 January 2007: Cold sores are spread through direct or indirect contact. While I believe you won't give him a coldsore on his lips if you kiss him on the cheek, I'd say that the possiblity COULD be there. The cold sore virus transfers from mucus membrane to ... (read in full...)
We recently had sex-I'm worried he'll loose interest .Any good ideas to keep him interested?
Q. Hi, Im 17 and have been dating this guy for about 7 months, we have a good relationship for people of our age and have very recently starting having sex (it being the first time for the both of us. He says he loves me loads and is very affectio...
A. 8 January 2007: No this isn't a juvenile question... Even old farts like me get a bit insecure after sleeping with someone for the first time... and I've had more that ONE first time with someone new. It sounds that you are worried that "now that you gave up the ... (read in full...)
I like him but I Have to ask...was he trying to give me an 'out' from dating him? What do you all think?
Q. I met this man on true.com and he lives locally by me but his work takes him to the middle east and Russia consistantly. We had this instant connection and things have been going wonderful and even talking about commitments and we even both ...
A. 8 January 2007: He may be trying to give you an "out", he may be trying to distance himself from you.... BUT, he may be trying to let you know that if you make a committment to him, "Please don't try to change me," too. At our age none of us come in to a ... (read in full...)
I like this guy but another girl is claiming she is 3 weeks pregnant. Can you tell that soon?
Q. Hi i am 22 years old i have started seeing a mate of mine but he has a girlfriend he says he really likes me but the thing is she has just found out she is pregnant but they have only been 2 gether 3 weeks and she is 3 weeks pregnant is this ...
A. 7 January 2007: Someone isn't telling the whole story. If they have only been together three weeks, and she is three weeks pregnant, she wouldn't really know she was pregnant yet, because she would just NOW be skipping her period. So either they knew each other ... (read in full...)
Is he cheating or am I just being insecure?
Q. Ok ive been with this guy for 1yr and 5mo.who is being distant b/c we have total different work schedules it was'nt always like that, because he would work on cars in front of his house( his house that we shared) or at the customers house. 5months ...
A. 7 January 2007: I wouldn't read anything in to the fact that he is tired. After all, working in new business is time consuming, and stressful. He probably IS working very hard. In addition, he is not as availible to you as he once was. It sounds to me like you ... (read in full...)
I do not want an online IM relationship_I want a real one with him! What can I do?
Q. I met a guy a while back and we're both really keen. Thing is, I hardly ever see him, and when I do it's quite awkward. It seems the only time we're really comfortable and chat away is on instant messenger, and I don't want that kind of relati...
A. 7 January 2007: I've found that sometimes people are who they WANT to be when they IM and are able to relax and say what is on thier mind behind thier anonymous computer screens. When meeting them in person they aren't the person they seem to be when IM'ing. It ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and not confident about my size 34A breasts! What can I do about this?
Q. hi im 13 , 14 in February and i really want to wear tops but im not confident about my breasts. there 34a and i just want to go out with a top and not a jumper to cover up . I would find myself more attractive by not covering up as much. What ...
A. 7 January 2007: Have some patience... they will grow when they are ready to. When I was 14, I was the only one of my friends STILL not wearing a bra.. simply because there was NOTHING to stick in the bra....I was SO jealous of them. BUT... I eventually out did ... (read in full...)
Ex and I split so I began dating again and now he's jealous! What's going on here?
Q. My bf ended it recently, we'd been getting on so well it was something that was unexpected. Our sex life was great and always very enjoyable.He told me he loved me and though we hadn't made any long term plans for a future together ie marriage etc ...
A. 7 January 2007: It sounds to me like your ex-bf has a pretty high opinion of himself and is hurt because you aren't so devistated by his breaking things off with you that you are unable to function. I think this is pretty common. My ex husband was P*ssed! when he ... (read in full...)
Am I a lesbian. Please need advice.
Q. hello i am quite young and i do not know if i am a lesbian or straight i really want to be straight but when i see pictures of naked girls i want to have lesbian sex and things does this mean im a lesbian? please help...
A. 6 January 2007: I wouldn't say this made you a lesbian. I think at your young age you are just beginning to have some sexual interests, and a nude female body is what you most identify with at this point. It could be that you find them attractive because someday ... (read in full...)
Why do they always shoot their load so soon? Is it me?
Q. Why is it that everytime i have sex with a man they always ejaculate too quickly? Is it me or what? Im getting rather frustrated over this....
A. 5 January 2007: This question is great!! Unfortunately, because I am female I can't answer it... BUT.. would LOVE to hear what you guys have to say! I can't wait for this! :) - really cheesy smile.... (read in full...)
Why would he try to have sex with me when I was sleeping?
Q. Hi, this is my first ever question. my bf and i have been together for nearly two years. I came home late very tired, he stayed over at my place. we went to bed and i awoke to him trying to have sex with me. I just dont know what to think, we have a ...
A. 5 January 2007: I realize that this comment is a bit late in the game, but this question tickled me, as I had a conversation with my bf about this very thing just the other day. He tells me, and it was verified by several of his male friends, that many men ... (read in full...)
I want a threesome w/ my fiance's best friend, but my fiance is jealous and possessive. Should I just get over my feelings?
Q. My partner and I have recently got engaged, bought a house and have finally decided to settle down after many years of playing the field. We have been together for a year now and I have so far felt that this is the last man I will ever be with. ...
A. 5 January 2007: I'd highly recommend that you simply forget about this and move on. It's one thing to fantasize about doing this but it is a completely different thing to actually HAVE a threesome. If your boyfriend already suffers from jealousy and ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my awkwardness about the girl at work I fancy... ?
Q. Hi everyone. I work part-time and at my work there is this girl who I have been crushing on for awhile. We have spoken once and it was when she was new, which was almost 2 months ago. There have been rumors going around about us which are ...
A. 5 January 2007: Perfect solution for you. If all she wants to do is just talk, then that is how it will be. You will have gained a friend. But you won't know that until you give it a go. Take a deep breath and give it a try!... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my awkwardness about the girl at work I fancy... ?
Q. Hi everyone. I work part-time and at my work there is this girl who I have been crushing on for awhile. We have spoken once and it was when she was new, which was almost 2 months ago. There have been rumors going around about us which are ...
A. 5 January 2007: She is giving you loud and clear messages that she WOULD like to talk to you, and you sound almost painfully shy... a difficult thing to overcome, especially when it involves talking to a new person you believe you really like. Talk to her about ... (read in full...)
| *illy223's friends
These are mutual friends, so *illy223 has
added them and they have added *illy223!
|
