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Did my poem scare him away?

Tagged as: Crushes<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 January 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 22 February 2014)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I wrote a poem for a guy I really like. We have had some good conversations but since it was his birthday I decided to write a poem on how great a person he is. The problem is its been about a week and a half and he has yet to respond. The poem said nothing on loving him or any relationship stuff and nothing scary about us being together. He usually responds to me quickly. I'm confused on what happened. I know he is around seen him on facebook so did the poem make him scared or is our friendship over?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2014):

Yeah i think he finds you a little odd, even though a poem is a lovely gesture. he's probably not interested, and so is hinting, without telling you to your face. either way, he should've said thank you. i find it quite rude that he didn't

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 January 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI think it "scared" him or gave him the idea that you want more and since he isn't interested (otherwise he would have been on you like white on rice).

A poem is an intimate gesture. And while it might come across as thoughtful, it can also come across as a little odd.

BUT with all that said, he could still have said thank you.

My guess is, he really doesn't know what to do about it.

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A female reader, like I see it United States +, writes (11 January 2014):

like I see it agony auntYour intentions were sweet and very thoughtful but yes, I do think you may have scared him off a bit. While teenagers can maybe get away with this sort of thing, I don't think writing a poem ABOUT the other person is something two adults in a platonic friendship can pull off without seeming a little creepy or weird.

Think about what might go through your mind if a guy you liked (but not romantically) sent the same poem to you out of the blue and you may get some idea of your friend's reaction. I agree, it's rude of him not to say "thank you," but if he doesn't share your feelings he may be worried that you'll find any positive response to be an encouragement.

You admit that while you are currently "just friends" with the guy, you'd like to be more than that, and it's possible some of that emotion crept into what is by nature a very personal and emotional piece of art, maybe in ways you didn't even notice. Being half in love with the guy, you may not be the best judge of whether a sentiment you express is just a little too... flowery.

Play it cool and wait to see if he contacts you - definitely don't keep messaging *him* even if you see him online, as that WILL look clingy.

Good luck and best wishes :)

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A female reader, desiree075 Canada +, writes (11 January 2014):

Whether he returns your feelings or not, he should have the decency to at least say "Thank You," for a very thoughtful gift. What a prick.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (11 January 2014):

Ciar agony auntI think the poem was a bit intimate. If it had been light hearted/tongue in cheek/humorous it might have been ok, but extolling his virtues is like a romantic serenade. That's my opinion. Others might disagree, but I do think it's intimate.

Don't contact him. Let him reach out to you and if/when he does be light and upbeat and don't mention the poem.

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