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A young pretty woman gets special attention whenever she has a maintenance problem. Do I tell his wife about this? How do I address it?

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Question - (5 March 2016) 10 Answers - (Newest, 6 March 2016)
A female age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I work as an maintenance assistant for a local housing association. In the office we deal with tenants on daily basis for repairs. Most of them get turned away unless it is serious or have to wait a few days for the repair. However there is a female Tennant that comes in weekly yes weekly she is young and pretty around late 20s and has a kid. I swear this girl could say she found a spider in her kitchen and their is an officer that would put it out for her. OK exaggerated but any little thing she askes he does instantly! He doesn't give any of the other tenants this special treatment. I can't help but wonder if they are having an affair or something as he could loose his job for it if they were. What is it with this girl, I have thought about telling his wife this to see what she thought? But everyone at our office knows who she is and knows how differently and "special" he treats this Tennant. She has been rude to some of us sometimes yet he lets her off, yet for the same behaviour slaps warnings on other Tennants. She is clearly his favourite and I don't know if I should find a way of addressing this? As she knows she can ask him for anything and she'll get it, while speaking to the rest of us like crap! Infuriating!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2016):

Have you considered that she might actually need the repairs?

I'm sure Management are aware of the budget they have for repairs and wouldn't do them if she didn't really need them.

Maybe your view of her comes across when your speaking to her and that is why she has been,"rude".

He may or may not have a thing for her but that's not of your concern.

You said this man is married, if he has Children of his own he would be all too aware of the cost of raising a family.

So if she's on her own maybe he has compassion for her and wants to help her.

He may know a lot more about her circumstance than you do, such as does she have a wider family to help?

Why is she on her own?

Was her ex abusive or just abandon her and the kid?

Try and look deeper than just think, oh look young single Mother, must be a tart to be in that situation.

Because that's exactly what you are saying!

Maybe nothing is going on but he has choosen to help her because of her circumstance.

None of us really know, but neither do you.

So my advice is to stay out. As there could be some of the issues I have mentioned then you would have done that to her and your colleague!

For what helping a struggling young Mum?

I'd say well done to him and wee need more people like him in your kind of job.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 March 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI'm NOT young or super pretty... but I do seem to get preferential treatment from the maintenance department. My BIL had to wait a week for them to show up with a leaking roof and they have never made me wait more than a day (usually my choice) for minor things. I know my neighbor had to wait quite a wile at times too.

I don't know how to explain why that happens I have no idea, but I'm not complaining. However, I don't call unless I actually NEED them to fix something. Which was one time last year, and twice this year so far.

It can be that she plays the "helpless damsel" around the guys who come fix stuff. They might even feel a bit sorry for thing you pretty thing who can't fix stuff herself. SHE knows what she is doing, he.... is still clueless. He might think he is her "knight in shiny armor" and THAT makes him feel good. Even if it's just killing a spider... And it might be that he isn't smart enough to tell a pretty girl, LOOK you will have to wait.

I'd list all her calls and show the boss, IF there is a HUGE difference in how HER calls are handled versus other tenants.

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A female reader, LJCX United Kingdom +, writes (6 March 2016):

LJCX agony auntI live in a housing association flat and I also work at a call centre that takes calls for a housing association. As far as the little world that I live in is concerned people phone us up to get things done, not walk in the office to log a repair.

But anyway if one of my colleagues gets a call from a friend they will do their best to get that problem seen to. I'm sorry to say but sometimes people get beneficial treatment because a person in power is their friend, family or even somebody they just take a shine to.

It in no way means that they are having an affair and although it really ticks you off that he is behaving this way he just does it because he has taken a shine to her.

Who knows they could be having an affair but you would be getting yourself in to a whole heap of unnecessary drama going to his wife telling him something that you have absolutely no proof of.

If you have a boss that is superior to him just go and tell him rather than getting carried away about an affair. Out of the two options of telling his wife or your boss the best one would be the latter.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2016):

You do nothing that's what you do!

Your not his wife, it isn't your company.

So what has it got to do with you if he is sleeping with her?

She's an adult and so is he,so if they want to bang each others brains out leave them to it. Unless you are friends with his wife or something. Who your boss sleeps with has nothing to do with you.

She wants to let an older man use her for the sake of getting some odd jobs done that's her problem. Or his wife's!

Not yours, back away!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2016):

If it is not hurting your company's business, Then don't tell your boss and don't tell his wife under any circumstances because you would look like quite a fool if their was nothing between them or the wife didn't want to believe you and stood by her husband which she most probably would.

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A female reader, Flower89  +, writes (5 March 2016):

Flower89 agony auntAs someone who lives in Social housing myself I can bet your life the neighbours have noticed this too. I'm surprised none of them have made their own complaint about how often he is out to help her if they don't get the same treatment.

I'm sorry but if this women is obnoxious as described I doubt she is well liked in the community either, i would mention this to your boss because I can guarantee your not only one seeing this.

Jenniepeg : I'm sorry but there as loads of single Mums where I live, so I'm sure there are others in her housing associations books too. Does he give them all, "special treatment". I doubt if she is as young and pretty as described I also doubt it is sympathy he feels towards her. Ever repair carried out costs money who is paying for that?

Sorry but the situation is not fair on anyone else, I read there were several Families left over Christmas in social housing with no heating! Yet this girl gets him out straight away for a spider in her kitchen or whatever excuse they have for him visiting.

Sorry no but there is something going on.

P.S I am a single Mum and I don't think I have ever had the OK for a repair! Other than standard boiler check. I would be fuming if this was my Housing Association.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (5 March 2016):

janniepeg agony auntI would just tell the boss that he's playing favorites and that's not fair for the other tenants. There's no way to prove if they are having an affair. A man does not have to get sex to want to help someone out. Single moms attract a lot of attention because there's something vulnerable about them. They get pitied upon more than necessary. Sometimes a man wants to help because it makes them feel needed and manly. What's the problem with this girl? Maybe she feels entitled to special treatment because she does not have a husband. Some people just like to complain because it makes them feel important and noticed.

The maintenance guy needs to know how to respond to unnecessary tasks. He can't just say not to her and tell her to do it herself. If they are always small tasks that are not time consuming then of course it's not a big deal to just do it.

She sounds like a self entitled bitch but as long as she's not doing anything wrong, or being verbally abusive, it's just something you have to tolerate. As annoying as it is, tenants have the right to complain about a spider. She can also say she's allergic to spiders, then what can you do? The only thing you can do is remind her to be polite and that there are tenants with more serious problems.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2016):

You could try waiting for him to come back from lunch and say "Oh Lucy (whatever her name is) phoned she said could you help out because there is a smell of burning in her property" then as he dials the number say "ah yes I thought you'd jump to attention it's actually her arse on fire". If you get colleagues in on the practical joke it might be enough to shame him and make him realise you've rumbled him. Just an idea!!

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (5 March 2016):

Ivyblue agony auntI take it you have a boss?, if so let them know what has been going on. if he's shagging her and he loses his job thats between him, her and his wife when she finds out but as for the rest, thats simply not fair that her needs take priority over others.Good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2016):

No I wouldn't say anything to his wife or him. If she really does have him round her finger that would only end bad for you.

Do you have a manager above him? You could speak to about this and if others have noticed then take them with you. I'm sure he could check out the repairs and why she needed them all.

I doubt they are having an an affair, sounds like she has him on a string or he's hoping that it will happen. If he is still running after her like you said, be assured nothing has yet. Seen that act million times bat her eyelids, tease him and then plays dumb.

In the long run he's going to end up looking the idiot here, that women has no serious interest in him. Not if she is just popping in when she wants something.

When will men learn!

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