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| | *oot-In-My-Mouth's profile:What qualifies you to help people?
My ability to call a spade a spade. And my genuine interest in other people. I'm an unapologetic feminist. Take it or leave it.
Where do you live?
India.
What makes you tick?
Politics, activism, wildlife, forests and travelling.
What's your relationship status?
Committed. |
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Boyfriend said even though marrying and having children with me would muddy his bloodline, he would overlook it!
Q. Im a 26 year old british asian female, my 31 year old bf is a white american male. We have been together for a few months and recently he expressed a desire to have kids one day in the future. Of course this is great! I would love children with ...
A. 13 April 2012: I agree with Cindy about collusion between the perpetrator and the victim. Perfect example!... (read in full...)
Is she interested or not?
Q. My ex and I recently ran into eachother and have started talking again. We broke up over 2 years ago. She split up with me because she thought I was seeing someone else, which I wasn't, and she thought I was a bit needy. Her insecurity made me t...
A. 12 April 2012: Atleast things are clear now. She wants everything on her terms alone. Anything you have to say counts little to her. So you can now move on and look forward to better things in life. All the best!... (read in full...)
She was a virgin when she met me but had dated a guy before me, I get so jealous because of this! Am I wrong? What should I do?
Q. I'm 5 years of marriage and i am my wife's first man, she was virgin before me i wasn't. The fact is she used to date a guy by distance and we have a lovely friend who is this guy parent! I get jealous everytime we have to go to a child party or to ...
A. 10 April 2012: Yes, you're wrong. And for heaven's sake dump those hypocritical double standards. She was a virgin, you weren't. She has more reasons to be jealous but she's reasonable and not consumed by ego. So admit your mistake, apologise to her and stop ... (read in full...)
Am I getting myself into an affair?
Q. Hi.. am 20 yrs old and I am in a relationship with a girl for about 2 yrs. Everything was very normal until another girl came into my life. I met her 6 months back and we became very close. My girlfriend kws about me and my friend. 2 days back my ...
A. 10 April 2012: You're right, you ARE behaving like a jerk. Tell your girlfriend what's going on and allow her to move on with her life instead of being stuck in a relationship with a guy who loves someone else. ... (read in full...)
How do I become a jerk to attract girls?
Q. what does it take to get a gf? im honest, nice, smart and above average looking. i am 16 but it seems that guys who are jerks usually attract girls attention. How do i do that?...
A. 10 April 2012: I've always ended up dating total jerks and making excuses for them because of what I think is Stockholm Syndrome. But in the end, even women realise when a man is a jerk and there is only so much that they will take. Yes, many jerks have a lot more ... (read in full...)
He can't seem to get past the fact that I was taken advantage of
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. Previous to my relationship with him, I had been in another relationship and that boyfriend took advantage of me and pretty much "hit it and quit it" just once and took my v-card. After ...
A. 10 April 2012: If he knows all the facts and still holds your previous relationship against you, I don't think he's compassionate or understanding. Not the sort of man one would want to spend one's whole life with. What matters is what's between your ears, not ... (read in full...)
Is she interested or not?
Q. My ex and I recently ran into eachother and have started talking again. We broke up over 2 years ago. She split up with me because she thought I was seeing someone else, which I wasn't, and she thought I was a bit needy. Her insecurity made me t...
A. 10 April 2012: Probably not, but in order to be sure, swallow your pride and ask her how she feels about you.... (read in full...)
Men & Women: How long have you gone without sex?
Q. How long have you gone without sex with another person? ...
A. 9 April 2012: It's obvious you mean it's after losing one's virginity so I'll cut out the lame jokes about the period from between my birth to the time I lost my virginity and get to the point. Around a year, in my case. ... (read in full...)
How do I kiss? (without tongue)
Q. I dont know how to winch or snog as its also called ? i really want to show my love for a person i really love ( ps : with out tongue )...
A. 9 April 2012: Like you, I personally like kisses with no tongue but unfortunately that doesn't work for most people. :-(
Most of the posters here are assuming you're female, which I note you're not. You can kiss well even without using tongue. You can vary the... (read in full...)
What size penis do women prefer?
Q. I am a man aged 34, iam just wondering on what penis size do women prefers. Is big, small or just average and if big how big. What do women enjoy most while having sex. Do they like when a man comes from the back or when he is on top....
A. 8 April 2012: I like biggish but not very big. Not big enough to hurt but big enough to feel it. And I like man on top...missionary. ... (read in full...)
Where in Europe is best for filming the beauty of everyday life?
Q. I know this is a relationship website, but please I really need advice on where in Europe has the best action? (Not in that sense). Basically, I have a film project coming up and I have always wanted to film things that are amazing, so the culture, ...
A. 7 April 2012: I'd suggest Spain.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said even though marrying and having children with me would muddy his bloodline, he would overlook it!
Q. Im a 26 year old british asian female, my 31 year old bf is a white american male. We have been together for a few months and recently he expressed a desire to have kids one day in the future. Of course this is great! I would love children with ...
A. 7 April 2012: 'Little flaw'? I thought racism is an absolute deal-breaker!!... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 7 April 2012: I agree wholeheartedly with person12345. And no, this issue has nothing to do with porn. I can bet OP has no morak objections to porn because he would easily dehumanise the women in porn to a "collection of body parts" as someone mentioned here on ... (read in full...)
Moved towns for a guy I'm not even attracted, have I made a mistake?
Q. So I lived in OHIO, im 21, young. I went on this website and started talking to a 30 year old guy, I was hesitant on his looks but still talked to him, After talking to him knowing he wants marriage, kids and to settle down I thought perfect, me ...
A. 7 April 2012: Yes, you should go back even if you're pregnant. And if you are, you should seriously consider whether keeping the baby is the right thing to do. I'm assuming you have no religious hang-ups about abortion. From a purely practical perspective, it's ... (read in full...)
Moved towns for a guy I'm not even attracted, have I made a mistake?
Q. So I lived in OHIO, im 21, young. I went on this website and started talking to a 30 year old guy, I was hesitant on his looks but still talked to him, After talking to him knowing he wants marriage, kids and to settle down I thought perfect, me ...
A. 7 April 2012: You know the answer...go right back home and be careful about making such life-altering decisions in the future. Appearance isn't everything but what's important is to love and respect him for how he is...and that doesn't seem to be the case here. ... (read in full...)
My husband sends my daughter to bed so that we can go around the house naked. Is this fair?
Q. I am a 31 year old woman and newlywed with a 10 year old daughter from a previous relationship. My new husband insists that a night, my daughter go to her room so we can have private time and likes me to go nude around the house, even if we are ...
A. 7 April 2012: He sounds very perverted and controlling to me. He insists on you going nude, irrespective of whether you like it or not, while he doesn't strip himself. This seems to be some kind of power trip and very disturbing. Don't undress unless you want ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said even though marrying and having children with me would muddy his bloodline, he would overlook it!
Q. Im a 26 year old british asian female, my 31 year old bf is a white american male. We have been together for a few months and recently he expressed a desire to have kids one day in the future. Of course this is great! I would love children with ...
A. 7 April 2012: This means he's a f****** racist and needs to be shown the door as soon as possible. Don't ever have children with a man who doesn't respect you and is a bigot. Have some pride, girl! ... (read in full...)
He's ignoring me because he doesn't see any future for our relationship
Q. hello.i m a grl of 18.i met a guy on fb.he is of24.i m an indian nd he is pakistani.we were initially good frnds.we chat daily on fb for hours nd hours.after somedays i came to know dat i love him nd cant live widout him.i was on his ...
A. 7 April 2012: It's nearly impossible for Indians and Pakistanis to visit each other because of visa restrictions so all you can do is meet in a neutral country. But I'll have to ask you to be careful and think about this many times because of the following ... (read in full...)
Does sex hurt a lot?
Q. my bf once told me that girls have a lot of pain while having sex for the first time.is it true? then why is it so? i never had sex. he told that u must be scared of marrying me, and he then told me that it is for just 1st night, other nights will ...
A. 7 April 2012: Only lots and lots of foreplay can prevent pain...and this isn't just about the first time but every time. If you're not aroused, it will hurt. ... (read in full...)
All husband talks about is cheating and the sex he had while he was married to me!
Q. My husband admits to cheating with dozens of friends and family during our first years of marriage. He also lived with two other women while in the service and I was home pregnant. He got both of them pregnant and left them that way. I am finding it ...
A. 4 April 2012: He's a horrible jerk, a creep of the worst sort. I'm sorry for being so harsh but I really think he's bad for you. Please consider divorcing a man who's not only a cheat but also an insensitive, cruel and callous person! No one deserves to be with ... (read in full...)
What is a reasonable frequency for spouse to go out drinking with friends?
Q. We r married with 3 kids. My wife has recently taken to going out with different groups of girls a lot - what I would consider to be too much. They always go to bars. She always comes home at 1 am or later drunk. I most ofen provide the babysitting ...
A. 4 April 2012: I too don't think it's too often. You have to speak to her about your insecurity. It's not necessary that going out to bars will end with a one-night stand. This is more of a trust issue and that clearly appears to be the real problem, not the going ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to love someone you have never seen?
Q. Hi every one, i want to really ask how possible it is to love a person you have not seen... I recently met this girl online and i have fallen deeply in love with her though i have not seen personaly, we are thousands of miles apart, i have tried ...
A. 4 April 2012: As you get to know each other better, you tend to be exposed to the other person's flaws and frailities. Whether those issues are small enough to be ignored or too vital to compromise with is another matter altogether. That doesn't mean the love... (read in full...)
She has destroyed my life with her sexual past that I never knew about.. Just to marry her!!
Q. Ive been married 13 years, have 2 children. my wife has been very good to me all 13 years. but never thought in a 1,000,000 years this would happen to me.. I feel like my marriage was nothing but a fairytale. So this is what...
A. 3 April 2012: Why not get rid of your racism to begin with? That would be a good beginning.... (read in full...)
I think my best friend's boyfriend is cheating on her. What should I do?
Q. I think my best friend's boyfriend is cheating on her. To give you some background: My best friend (A) has been with her boyfriend (R) for about 4 years. R and my boyfriend (P) are also best friends since they were kids. This weekend I was s...
A. 3 April 2012: I agree with the anonymous male reader at the bottom of this page. If your boyfriend's covering up for that scummy friend of his, he's probably of the same kind, with no moral objections to cheating. Both the men sounds like absolute losers to me. ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to spank your kids?
Q. My mother thinks im cruel because i spank my two year old. I am not ashamed that i do. I only spank him on the rump when hes doing something he knows he shouldnt do. For instance getting into the trash, taking silverware out of the dishwasher, ...
A. 3 April 2012: An occasional smack or two never did any kid any harm. I don't see anything wrong in sometimes smacking one's child as a part of the disciplining process. However, using it far too liberally would render it ineffective. I was spanked as a child and ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to love someone you have never seen?
Q. Hi every one, i want to really ask how possible it is to love a person you have not seen... I recently met this girl online and i have fallen deeply in love with her though i have not seen personaly, we are thousands of miles apart, i have tried ...
A. 3 April 2012: Of course it's possible. Thousands are falling in love online as we speak and a few hundreds will actually end up being together!
If she doesn't want to hear you out, it's possible that she doesn't feel the same way about you. Have you ever con... (read in full...)
Four years of talking online but I still don't know his real name, or phone number
Q. Hi Users, Where do I begin?. I'll just write what comes I suppose. For four years I have been talking to a man online. We talk every day at least 3 to 4 times and sometimes more. We log onto MSN in the mornings, during breaks at work, after wor...
A. 3 April 2012: I too met my current boyfriend online (we live in different countries) and from the very beginning, we did not conceal our real names, age or such information. An online relationship is based entirely on trust and if he loves you as he says he does, ... (read in full...)
Am I being immature by being affectionate in public, or is he being a poor boyfriend by being ashamed of me?
Q. Hi. My name is Leony, and my boyfriend's name is Roman. Roman and I ride the school bus together. When we're on our way to school, I like giving him little kisses almost all the while. Just yesterday, Roman told me that he thinks its immature if I'm ...
A. 3 April 2012: He isn't being a poor boyfriend. He probably doesn't like PDA like a lot of other people. I don't either. While I understand your point of view and how you like to be affectionate, I suppose you could respect his feelings and kiss him only in ... (read in full...)
I really do love her but I don't want to waste more time on a relationship with a girl with no goals or plans in life
Q. Hi ive beem dateing my girlfriend for a little over a year now. I love her with all my heart but i dont know if i see us going anywhere in the future. The problem is that shes not trying to get a job or anything and it seems like she has no ...
A. 2 April 2012: You don't sound like you really love her. It seems to me that you have this idea of how your perfect girlfriend ought to be and since she doesn't quite measure up, you're looking for an exit option. It's probably the best thing to do. She too needs ... (read in full...)
I have a feeling, not based on anything, that my bf is going to break up with me, what is wrong with me?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 7months now and I love him to bits and we get on really well, however.. I'm sensing lately that he may brake up with me! I don't know how I'm feeling like this as nothing has happened to suggest he's going to. I feel ...
A. 2 April 2012: Ask him, straight out, whether he still loves you and whether he wants to be together in the long run. Your fears are possibly baseless but the only way you'll know for sure is by asking him. And once he tells you, believe him!... (read in full...)
What do you think, is the answer in this situation?
Q. A few months before I met my boyfriend, I met this guy at a local gig and we hit it off instantly. He was a really nice guy and he walked me home that night, though nothing happened as he had a girlfriend. We've been friends ever since that night ...
A. 2 April 2012: Tell your boyfriend about him, how he's bothering you and what you'd told this guy during the rough patch and by doing this essentially preempt any attempt he might make to communicate with your boyfriend. Once he doesn't have any hold on you, you ... (read in full...)
Ended up having sex with another man while at my bachelorette party at Vegas!
Q. ***Before I begin, please don't judge me for what I did, I already know it was wrong, and I feel horrible*** I am enganged at an amazing man who I love very much, our wedding is about a week away. This past weekend my girlfriends and I went to Ve...
A. 2 April 2012: While telling him is the right thing to do, I'd urge you not to tell him. If everything else is going right in the relationship and you are sure that never again would you do something as terrible as what you've done, then don't tell him. I'm just ... (read in full...)
How do I go about being more confident to be the dominant one in bondage?
Q. I'm the same person who asked about a guy wanting YOU to tie HIM up, or whatever the question was titled... And now I want to know how I can get more confident to tie him up and do stuff with him, since I'm not a confident or outgoing person....
A. 2 April 2012: It's about pretending to be dominant or playing the dominant role, even if it doesn't come naturally to you. You'll have to find out exactly what he wants (step by step) and then do it (as long as you're comfortable doing so). ... (read in full...)
How do I go about being more confident to be the dominant one in bondage?
Q. I'm the same person who asked about a guy wanting YOU to tie HIM up, or whatever the question was titled... And now I want to know how I can get more confident to tie him up and do stuff with him, since I'm not a confident or outgoing person....
A. 2 April 2012: That depends on how much priority one places upon sex and what is considered 'good'. Sex without BDSM can be 'good'. Whether the relationship will work out depends entirely on how you and your boyfriend sort out these issues and assess your ... (read in full...)
How do I go about being more confident to be the dominant one in bondage?
Q. I'm the same person who asked about a guy wanting YOU to tie HIM up, or whatever the question was titled... And now I want to know how I can get more confident to tie him up and do stuff with him, since I'm not a confident or outgoing person....
A. 2 April 2012: If he leaves you because you're not into kinky sex, OP, then he's really not worth it. A person who truly loves you will accept you for who you are and not push you into doing anything that you don't enjoy or feel uncomfortable doing. You're not ... (read in full...)
I'm addicted to paying for pornography
Q. First a little about me. I'm a male, 23 years old, about three friends, never had a girlfriend or sex, not even kissing. I am addicted to pornography. However, what's even more self-destructive is that I am addicted to PAYING for pornograp...
A. 2 April 2012: All right, but even then, see a counsellor and sort out your issues because I'm sure you realise you have some! Porn addiction is just as harmful as any other addiction, probably worse. It can only be a downward spiral for you if you don't take ... (read in full...)
My Friend will not associate with unattractive People, is this common?
Q. I'm 40, he's 22 and we've only been friends a short while. He's very intelligent - and I thought deep, until he told me that he doesn't associate with unattractive people because it badly reflects on him. He's heterosexual and his male friends ...
A. 31 March 2012: "It's ironic that he won't hang out with people who are not attractive, yet his bigotry makes him disgustingly and horrifically ugly and hideous, with a deformed spirit."
-I agree with YouWish. She's hit the nail on the head. I wouldn't want to ... (read in full...)
I'm addicted to paying for pornography
Q. First a little about me. I'm a male, 23 years old, about three friends, never had a girlfriend or sex, not even kissing. I am addicted to pornography. However, what's even more self-destructive is that I am addicted to PAYING for pornograp...
A. 31 March 2012: You need psychiatric help, my friend. Anyone who gets a kick out of watching others being hurt or humiliated is long past the stage of being persuaded to quit. This abnormality can only be remedied by professional help. I'm glad you atleast realise ... (read in full...)
Am I just wanting something I can't have or am I in the wrong relationship?
Q. Im a 24 year old with a little girl. I'm feeling extremely mixed up at the moment. I recently got back together with my little girls daddy (he is 42) who I've known for the last 8 years. In that time we've had an awful lot of problems, break up, ...
A. 31 March 2012: If I were you, I'd go for the younger guy...not the one who left me and got married to another woman and now wants me back! No way on earth!... (read in full...)
Is it normal for guys to view porn together?
Q. Hey, I need some perspectives (esp. from guys) on whether guys viewing porn with their guy buddies is a normal thing or not! My bf is open about the fact he occasionally looks at porn sites, and I know he has downloaded videos in the past. He once ...
A. 30 March 2012: I agree entirely with Stepford Wife. There are very few things men are not capable of whilst in a 'pack'. I know a lot of men who watch porn together. To me, it is an epitome of misogyny but you might choose to differ. And as Stepford Wife said, ... (read in full...)
Do you think I am Asexual?
Q. Hello everybody. I am seeking some advise from you. I am a 21 years old female and recently i've been dealing with something that trully botheres me. I have been in relationships before, and i have taken my time, plus the guys were always very...
A. 30 March 2012: I used to be exactly like you and even joined up on AVEN (Asexuality Visibility and Education Network - google it)as a member. I later realised that it had something to do with the fact that I was sexually abused as an adolescent. But it all changed ... (read in full...)
Do men like to be chased first?
Q. Do men liked to be chased? When they're not calling and texting you is it because they do want to or they waiting for you to do it?...
A. 30 March 2012: My advice would be to not call or text until he does. Atleast not more than once anyway. The moment you text again after he fails to respond to the first text, you risk being branded desperate even though I know that's not fair. ... (read in full...)
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