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| | *oot-In-My-Mouth's profile:What qualifies you to help people?
My ability to call a spade a spade. And my genuine interest in other people. I'm an unapologetic feminist. Take it or leave it.
Where do you live?
India.
What makes you tick?
Politics, activism, wildlife, forests and travelling.
What's your relationship status?
Committed. |
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Can I be friends with my ex?
Q. My ex-boyfriend and I started speaking again 5 months ago, after over a year of no contact after we broke up. We're extremely close and neither of us have the desire to get back together (although I wouldn't say those feelings have completely died ...
A. 26 May 2012: I used to think that exes can be friends till I analysed all my 'friendships' with my past boyfriends. They weren't friends. We would say 'hello' if we accidentally bumped into one another or even have a cup of tea together, but that's just ... (read in full...)
Is this man who I'm having an affair with claims to like me so much, then why is he avoiding me?
Q. Ok I can't believe I did this i never in the 21 years that I’ve been with my husband cheated on him. People on this page can’t think any worse of me then I think of myself. My husband is the first man I ever been with. I’m 38 now I take very good ...
A. 26 May 2012: Forget this man, forget this ever happened. He's not worth it. Block him out.
I know all that they say about honesty but if I were you, I'd not tell my husband and risk losing everything we have built and shared together. Two minutes of betrayal... (read in full...)
If a girl gives you her number but doesn't reply to a message does that mean she's not interested?
Q. Hi I have a question for the ladies. Say a guy has met a girl and they exchange numbers. She knows that he intends to ask her out at some point but he hasn't done so yet. They exchange messages and she hasn't replied to one anymore. Does th...
A. 25 May 2012: Sometimes women give their numbers only because it's awkward to say no. It doesn't always mean that they're interested.... (read in full...)
Why do so many women want to try having sex with a big penis if size doesn't matter?
Q. Why do so many women want to try having sex with a big penis (like bigger than they've ever had before) if size doesn't matter? Why did men evolve big penises (length and girth) compared to other primates if size doesn't matter?...
A. 25 May 2012: No fixed rule. Different women like different things. I personally like bigger ones because they make one feel more filled. The small ones don't produce any sensation at all. ... (read in full...)
Why would my b/f be happy if his ex had been pregnant but not me?
Q. My fiance and I were talking and the topic about babies came up. I would like to have a child soon, but he wants to wait. However, few months back when we were just dating and not engaged, his ex-gf had a prgnancy scare and it would have been his ...
A. 25 May 2012: I don't understand his logic. Does he mean to say that he likes to impregnate women he doesn't respect? That sounds weird to me, really. There has to be something else. Would he have gone back to her had she been pregnant or would he just be a long ... (read in full...)
My husband wants to bring another wife into our marriage!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 13 years and have two children. I have severe Rheumatoid Arthritis that has required 17 surgeries. Our life has been stressful, because of the disease, but I try to stay focused on my husbands needs and even ...
A. 25 May 2012: He is being unreasonable. You have done much more than anyone else would have done in your position. In spite of suffering from such a painful disease, you've fought valiantly and catered to his needs and been such a support to him. Instead of ... (read in full...)
I've started to form a sassy attitude since dating this guy!
Q. Hello. So I'm always trying to make people happy, To make people smile. To make a difference in anyones life. I focus so much on others that I sometimes forget what I want. I realized I wanted to start hanging out with my old highschool frien...
A. 24 May 2012: Why is being with this guy affecting the way you communicate with others? Does he encourage or admire a rude attitude? Is he an influence? ... (read in full...)
Ladies: I have some dating queries, please let me know what you think
Q. Hi, this is a post for the ladies (guys can def help too). I'm a guy and have been meeting the odd female here and there but I never actually get a formal relationship out of any of them. So I have been thinking of what may be the problem. It i...
A. 24 May 2012: All the best, OP!! Have fun!... (read in full...)
I'm a lesbian, then what's with my feelings for this man?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. I'm in a bit of a crazy dilemma here. First off, I'm a 29 year old lesbian woman, holder of a PhD in Electrical Engineering. So I'm not an idiot. I also don't want kids, so I'm not really worried about my age. Since I was a ...
A. 22 May 2012: You're probably bisexual.
I'd say, go for it! Tell him how you feel. You'll never know what exactly it is for you and whether you can 'adjust' to men unless you actually do it. Tell him the truth about your sexuality and explain how you're a... (read in full...)
My boyfriend watches LIVE porn. How do I deal with this?
Q. Hello, I have just found out that my boyfriend watches porn. I have had a look on this site and at some porn related questions, and some people say it's fine and all men do it, and some people say they should stop in a relationship. My problem i...
A. 22 May 2012: It IS cheating. Now you decide whether you're okay with infidelity or you want to get out of this relationship.... (read in full...)
My husband keeps cards from his ex wife out in the open and hangs around with a psycho ex girlfriend claiming that they're "friends"! What is going on?
Q. My husband and I have recently moved house, and we are still in the process of putting things away. Today, on a shelf in the den/study, where he had just put everything where he wanted it, there was this card in plain sight. It said,'To my husband', ...
A. 22 May 2012: He has far too much baggage. And he obviously doesn't care about your feelings. You have to be more assertive and tell him what's acceptable and what's clearly not. If her persists, you will have got the message...that he doesn't care. ... (read in full...)
Ladies: I have some dating queries, please let me know what you think
Q. Hi, this is a post for the ladies (guys can def help too). I'm a guy and have been meeting the odd female here and there but I never actually get a formal relationship out of any of them. So I have been thinking of what may be the problem. It i...
A. 22 May 2012: 'The guy always pays on first date.' Usually, yes. Unless the girl asked him out. 'Indian food is a bad idea as first dinner dates, too garlicy spicey etc. She may well say yes but that means she already has an excuse for not dating the... (read in full...)
Why won't he video chat with me?
Q. So i have been dating this guy online for about 2 months.. We knew eachother a long time ago via facebook. There was a break in the middle and we started talking again. And few months ago he told me he wanted something more than plain friendship and ...
A. 21 May 2012: There could be a multitude of reasons. It's not necessary that he's fake or not who he says he is. That IS a possibility, but doesn't have to be that way. He could just be someone like me, who doesn't like video chatting, for no particular reason. ... (read in full...)
I feel unattractive compared to the women in porn my husband watches
Q. I love sex, especially with my husband. My husband is rarely in the mood. There is an age differance of 15 years, he is 26 and I'm 41. I would have sex everyday if I could. He likes watching porn on the internet. Which makes me feel awful, because I ...
A. 21 May 2012: Curious Jane Doe, no it's not normal. It's only been around for a couple of decades, you know. Porn only recently became the big business that it is. Do you think men in the days before porn was invented were abnormal, unsatisfied, unhinged... (read in full...)
My prom date just updated her status to 'in a relationship' and now I'm wondering if I should talk to her about it or just go with it?
Q. Dear Cupid, basically i'm really confused at the moment. I am taking this girl who I've liked for a long time to my end of year prom and was really looking forward to it. However I have always been wary whether the feelings were mutual and just ...
A. 21 May 2012: People update their relationship status for various reasons, apart from the obvious one. 1) To attract attention and make friends say, "Who is it?" 2) To make someone jealous. 3) To ward off unwanted attention. 4) When they are under the mistak... (read in full...)
When she watches porn it makes me feel I am not satisfying her. Is this the likely truth?
Q. My wife chooses to watch a lot of porn and this upsets me, and as she knows this now she shuts screen down as soon as i come in the room. I tried to see if wants me to act like the pictures she watches,but she says no. Would her actions suggest she ...
A. 19 May 2012: This is first time I hear a man complaining about his wife's porn use. Usually it's wives complaining about their husbands' porn use.
I don't this has much to do with sexual satisfaction. It is probably an addiction for her and as you know, an... (read in full...)
Will or can this affect my long time health? I don't have a regular girlfriend.
Q. I am 18 years old.i don't have any girlfriend till now. i am in a habit of hooking daily , i want to ask that is regular hooking affects our health or not. i tried to control it because i thinks it is affecting my health and i am not been able to c...
A. 19 May 2012: Hooking? Do you mean masturbating?... (read in full...)
I'm only interested in American women, is this normal?
Q. Ok so as the title suggests, I'm only interested in American women. This is based on something not just movies and tv shows. I dated an American girl for 2 and a half years, have spent a lot of time over there and truth be told I just mesh better...
A. 19 May 2012: 1) It's not abnormal. It's just a preference.
2) I suppose there are a lot of American women in the UK. Besides, you can meet them on Facebook and assorted dating websites like okcupid etc.
Hope you find your perfect American woman! :-)... (read in full...)
I fear my vagina isnt good enough for my boyfriend
Q. So, my boyfriend and I have sexual relations. He isnt my first, and well I feel ashamed to have sex with him for that reason... We were watching this t.v show, with Wesley Snipes(black guy) and he was married to an Asian woman, they showed a scene ...
A. 18 May 2012: Tell him that you don't like having intercourse anymore because his penis is so small that you can't feel it enter you. Since you don't even know whether it's inside or outside, you don't feel anything and hence you don't moan. And then tell him ... (read in full...)
How does a man feel when he's in love?
Q. I know this might sound weird but How does a man feel when he's in love or when he really loves a girl and how he feela he's willing to do ?!! I know it sounds stupid but me as a girl I know how girls feel about a guy when they really love him and ...
A. 18 May 2012: Ha ha ha! Sorry, OP. I'm an old fashioned old woman who doesn't understand these things. Hope your query has been satisfactorily answered though. All the best!... (read in full...)
My wife had sex with 10 guys by the time she was 19 Is that normal?
Q. I am 35 and my wife is 34, and she has had sex with 11 men in her life including me. That might not sound like a massive number of partners relative to her age, but the other 10 guys were all between the ages of 15-19. From 19-30 she was with one ...
A. 18 May 2012: I don't know what you mean by 'normal for a woman' but I do think it's not really abnormal for a 'person' to have multiple sex partners during adolescence. Adolescence is a time of confusion and experimentation. It's also a time of emotional ... (read in full...)
What are the pro's and con's of having a fake relationship with my gay friend to trick his mom?
Q. So, I've been really close friends with this guy since 6th grade, we're both now in 9th, and he's gay. He recently told his mother about himself. She was very angry about it and yelled at him about how he's never even experienced with a girl and ...
A. 17 May 2012: I don't think this is a good idea at all. His mother is being unreasonable about the whole thing but deceiving her is not the solution to your friend's problems. You can't keep up the act all your lives and besides, if he's the sort who is obviously ... (read in full...)
How do you truly know if this is the person you should spend the rest of your life with?
Q. Hi i was hoping to get advice on how do you know if the person you are with is The One!! i'm in a relationship, in fact living with my boyfriend for the past year and a bit. we have talked about the future, marriage, family etc i do love him and ...
A. 17 May 2012: One doesn't really ever know. One just takes a chance, hoping that they end up with the right person. ... (read in full...)
I really want our kids to have my last name!
Q. I imagine this question is going to spark a lot of controversy.Me and my fiance have been talking about kids lately. Why I have no idea. But she keeps saying about the kids have her last name. but she has already said that when we get married she is ...
A. 17 May 2012: Have two kids. Let one of them have your surname and one of them have hers. Since this is all hypothetical anyway, this solution fits perfectly. No reason why you can't reach an agreement. ;-)... (read in full...)
My ex lover is married and looking to continue the relationship....
Q. I was sleeping with my best friend for 2 1/2 yrs after he broke up with his ex girl after 7 yrs of an on and off again relationship. We had a great time together. We are compatible and love each others company, sex was awesome but it would have ...
A. 17 May 2012: He wants to have sex with you simply because he thinks he can. He obviously has no morals. He was cheating on his wife-to-be even before he got married and now, he wants to cheat again. It's not complicated at all. He wants sex, nothing more and ... (read in full...)
How does a man feel when he's in love?
Q. I know this might sound weird but How does a man feel when he's in love or when he really loves a girl and how he feela he's willing to do ?!! I know it sounds stupid but me as a girl I know how girls feel about a guy when they really love him and ...
A. 17 May 2012: xD? What language is that? What does it mean?... (read in full...)
Her mother has heard my wife is escorting, how should she discuss this her mother?
Q. my wife has been working as an escort since 2009 and is quite satisfied with what she does. it causes no problems in our marriage. we are financially stable now and invest 75 percent of everything she makes. she pays her taxes and even lists her ...
A. 17 May 2012: My sympathies are with her mother, in this case. I do think that every mother has the right to know what her daughter does for a living and it's normal to be concerned, if not horrified, if she's working as a prostitute. This has nothing to do with ... (read in full...)
Wondering if this is normal for a vagina?
Q. Hi, Well recently I am curious to know whats normal about vaginas. I've been checked for STD's and i'm all clear. But my vagina is redish colour and if I touch around the hole it can be quite tender. I find sex uncomfortable-but I put that down to ...
A. 16 May 2012: Vaginas are usually reddish, or brown, or even somewhat purple, depending on various factors including race. I think your vagina is normal and you're worrying needlessly. Relax!! ... (read in full...)
Why do I keep going back to my B/f even though he treats me like dirt?
Q. Dear Cupid my bf of 2 years is emotionally abusing me, always ignoring me, treats me like shit, never apologize and always finding one reason to another to stop spending time with me. Its been very long since we even talked for more than 5 mts....
A. 16 May 2012: Men like your boyfriend manipulate women into believing that they don't deserve any better and that nobody else would ever love them more, and that this is the best they can possibly get. Such men also hammer down their girlfriends' self-esteem in ... (read in full...)
How does a man feel when he's in love?
Q. I know this might sound weird but How does a man feel when he's in love or when he really loves a girl and how he feela he's willing to do ?!! I know it sounds stupid but me as a girl I know how girls feel about a guy when they really love him and ...
A. 16 May 2012: Statistically women cheat more? I'd like to know where you got that from, just to educate myself. ... (read in full...)
Problems and worries about dry sex!
Q. I have been in a relationship with this guy for about 3 months. Quite recently, we started having dry sex, with clothes on and gradually, just in undergarments. However, I'm starting to feel insecure. I did my research on Dry Sex and many sou...
A. 16 May 2012: This is incredible! I always used the 'Dad will not approve' excuse all through my adolescent years to get out of uncomfortable situations. My father had no idea, of course! It really works, like Tisha said!... (read in full...)
My mom is dating a 33 year old guy, who's closer in age to me than her! Its so embarrassing!!
Q. My mom who is 49 years old is now dating a guy who is 33 years old and I don't know how to feel about the whole situation. I mean he's closer in age to me than her, she's never done anything like this before so I don't know whats going on. She has ...
A. 16 May 2012: I too would have felt embarrassed had I been in your place. But that's just something you'll have to explain away because you love your mother and if your mother is happy with this man, you can't do anything to jeopardise that! Not all our loved ... (read in full...)
My Indian family, my Pakistani ex gf who still lives at my place, my American girlfriend who's treated like an outsider and me...its a wreck!!
Q. I'm 21 years old, turning 22 this year. My girlfriend is 20, and turning 21 this year. We've been together for 3 years, and I want to ask her to marry me within the next week or so. Here's the problem. I'm Indian, and she's American. My p...
A. 15 May 2012: I know that moving out is a big thing in Indian families. It's not as simple and taking a lease on a house and walking out. It usually signifies a complete severance of all ties. I wouldn't ask you to do that. But what you definitely need to do is ... (read in full...)
I don't want kids, so how do I learn to accept being alone?
Q. After two years of being single and trying the "don't look, someone will come into your life when you least expect it" - she didn't - I tried the online dating thing. Two dates in two years. Have now been single for 4 years and totally and utte...
A. 15 May 2012: I wish I had an answer. I too don't want children and that's almost a crime in my culture! It's as if I'm this horrible, heartless woman who hates children (which I don't). My sympathies are with you, though. I just don't have a solution.... (read in full...)
A bit of innocent cuddling? Or could this lead to something more?
Q. Hi everyone, just a quick question. I've been friends with this guy for about a year and every now and then when we're round each other's house we'll spoon/cuddle/hold hands, but never take it any further, and always go back to acting completely ...
A. 15 May 2012: I really didn't know that "only friends" engage in cuddling, holding hands or spooning. It's not common, really. This sounds more like an FWB situation to me, just that you haven't had full-fledged sex. Do you want to have sex with him? Or are you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to have sex with a shemale.
Q. I don't know if I should worry or not. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10months. He is 20 almost 21 years old. And well... My boyfriend wants to have sex with a shemale. The other day I found out that he's on craigslist looking to have sex...
A. 15 May 2012: I think he watches too much porn. This entire shemale sex thing is an invention of the porn industry which has to come up with bizarre new notions to keep people hooked, irrespective of how much psychological damage this causes. Your boyfriend is ... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong here?
Q. Hi there I need to know whether I am in the wrong here?? I was seeing a guy last november and it probably lasted a few months, until he was offered a job abroad (new zealand) on a contract for a year and a half. We had been friends before for a ...
A. 15 May 2012: It's obvious that he's not serious about you. Add to that the fact that he's emotionally cold, up for only 'fun' (that's a huge red flag), thoroughly unreliable, inconsistent, disrespectful and probably has something to hide. I wouldn't put it past ... (read in full...)
I managed to convince a guy I fancy that I'm easy but now I need the skills to back it up
Q. I moved about 9 months ago and there's this guy "Sam" back home. My friend and I tricked him into thinking I'm a slut and he likes me better now. I told him when I get home I'd make out with him and give him a hand job. The thing is, I HAVE NO IDEA ...
A. 14 May 2012: A guy who likes 'easy' girls is 'easy' himself. Not surprisingly, no one ever uses that term to describe men. This man is not the one you want to be with, trust me. Do you really want to be with a man who would have sexual relations with just about ... (read in full...)
I'm a 20 year old virgin...is that a turn off?
Q. I'm 20 years old and I'm in college. I've never had sex because I've never had a boyfriend and never wanted to sleep with random guys. No one ever believes me when I tell them I've never had sex mainly because I go out/party/drink a lot and ...
A. 14 May 2012: Not in the least. Be honest about your past and never pretend to be experienced when you're not. This isn't an issue at all. People have sex when they want to, not because they feel they have to. Have sex only when you feel you want it, not because ... (read in full...)
My partner left his wife to be with me so I got what I wanted in the end, but I cant stop feeling horrible about what we did....
Q. I worked as a nanny for a family with a infant son for the past 2 1/2 years. "Lisa" the mom was a workaholic who loved her social life when she wasnt working, "Rick" the father was very good looking and he knew it and would playfully flirt with ...
A. 14 May 2012: I can't help observing how blame seems to have been heaped upon you (and as usual, only the woman is blamed) whereas HE was the one who was married, not you. HE was supposed to stay faithful, HE had taken vows with her, NOT YOU. HE cheated on his ... (read in full...)
Is it possible that someone like my ex can change?
Q. Hey, everyone :) This may be a bit long so please bear with me. I'v just come out of a three year relationship. We lived together the majority of those three years. Resons why we broke up: -he was extremely paranoid and jealous- constan...
A. 11 May 2012: I went through an identical situation. It was all the same except the physical abuse. I broke up with him, he begged me to come back saying he'd change, I took him back, he behaved for a while and went back to his previous conduct. I made him ... (read in full...)
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