A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My mother thinks im cruel because i spank my two year old. I am not ashamed that i do. I only spank him on the rump when hes doing something he knows he shouldnt do. For instance getting into the trash, taking silverware out of the dishwasher, pulling on the dogs and cats. One time we were in the frontyard he went to the side walk i said come back over here now he smiled and stepped into the street at that point in time he knew it was wrong. And yes i spanked him. I distinctly remember my parents spanking me, so why is she upset? Do you think its wrong to spank your kids? I spank him on the rump usually on 3 times and he has pants and a diaper on. I dont get joy out of it or anything i just love him and want him to behave and not get into things that could hurt him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (4 April 2012):
 See, this is the problem with kids in the world these days - kids KNOW they can do whatever they want because spanking nowadays is considered "awful" and "child abuse." Puh-lese!! As my mom told my oldest brother one time when my brother was mad at my mom after she spanked him across the butt for misbehaving, he cried and said he was going to turn her into the police because it was child abuse. Her response? "I'll show you what child abuse is." Well, he figured he didn't want to see that!
Nowadays, kids have "time out" which is the biggest waste of time ever. Growing up, my mom spanked me and my brothers while our dad put us in time out. Kids NEVER learn during time out; they learn after getting hit across the rear end! A swift swat on the rear end or on the back of the hands never did anything bad; now I would never smack a child on the face, like a slap. Now that's more like abuse. But there is NOTHING wrong with spanking a child on the butt. When I have children, I plan to spank.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (3 April 2012):
I personally think it is wrong NOT to spank your kids. My parents rasied me and my 4 brothers with an iron hand. Now at age 43, I am thankful everyday for the sense of discipline they instilled in me. I see how my coddled friends from my childhood have turned out. Drugs, jail, still living at home, shitty job, etc. Me and my brothers - all have good jobs, all have stable healthy relationships, none of us ever got into serious trouble (drugs, etc.). Again, we are thankful every day that the rod was not spared for us. God knows I am.
There is no subsitute for self-discipline. IMO it is one of the single biggest reasons for a persons success. We have a severe shortage of it, at least in this country. Spanking IMO is part of that discipline. Kids are not adults, and should not be given the same rights/latitude/punishment at adults. They need to be taught right from wrong at a young age, and spanking is definitely a part of that equation.
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A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (3 April 2012):
 An occasional smack or two never did any kid any harm. I don't see anything wrong in sometimes smacking one's child as a part of the disciplining process. However, using it far too liberally would render it ineffective. I was spanked as a child and I don't bear the least bit of resentment against my mother for doing so. My father wouldn't hit me though...he'd only threaten to do so. Having said that, your child is only two. Maybe that's a little too early to start the spanking regimen. It might be rendered ineffective very soon if you continue so maybe you should give it a break and use other methods till the child is atleast 5 or 6.
I remember how my mother would just take my dinner plate away whenever I fussed about food. She wouldn't insist, wouldn't plead, she'd just take it away. I soon got the message that creating a fuss about food meant no food. So you could come up with such solutions over a period of time, along with occasional spanks. Happy parenting! ;-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2012): i come from a strict family and when i was younger i wasn't spanked. i was caned.
in my country, parents and teachers are allowed to cane and/or spank a child without any sort of punishment and to be honest i think that there's nothing wrong with it. i was caned until i reached 16. my mother's favourite phrase was "spare the rod, spoil the child" and strangely enough i agree with her.
sure, it didn't feel great when i was caned (she's really strong and caned till i bled from the wounds) but when the scars heal, you learn an enduring lesson. i know some of you will be thinking that it's abuse but i don't really see it that way.
when a child does something that he/she knows is wrong, he/she deserves punishment. i know many people who used to laugh when their more "liberal" parents only gave them a simple talking-to when they've done something wrong. so they knew that they could get away with alot more things.
spanking really isn't wrong and as one commenter pointed out below, it isn't as if he's feeling any pain! just make sure that you forge a good relationship with him when he's older so he wouldn't do things that he knows are wrong just because he doesn't want to hurt you :)
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A
female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (3 April 2012):
 Also, I feel I should add that time-outs are NOT the answer to everything.
If your kid is defiant, then how in the world do you expect them to sit still in a corner?
I know as a kid I used to sneak out of time-out, because I could. It was pointless. And all the kids in my family do the same thing. If they're in that troublemaking mindset, then time-outs are pointless.
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A
female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (3 April 2012):
I was spanked as a child, and I turned out just fine.
Well, that's a lie, I'm not just fine, but those issues are due to genetics, or that abusive friend I had for the longest time. Not being spanked.
I remember I'd want to follow my parent's instructions, or else I'd get spanked.
Heck, I remember getting soap in my mouth!
It wasn't cruel or wrong at all. I learned my lesson, and I became a better kid for it.
People who say it's wrong to spank your kid are probably the same people who like to coddle their children so much that they grow up to be spineless wimps.
Everything is censored nowadays for children, but in my day, I didn't listen to no kidz bop, my two favorite songs as a child was Bad Touch by the Bloodhound Gang, and some other song about "banging on the bathroom door".
Obviously, don't just start wailing on them if they're bad, but if you tell them what they did wrong, and make it clear that this is their punishment for being bad, they'll understand that running into the middle of the road = pain on my butt, and they won't do it!
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (3 April 2012):
 I personally don't agree with it however I have smacked mine on the odd occasion. Mine are older now and frequently hit each other and it struck me that smacking them for hitting each other was an extremely mixed message. I was telling them not to do something whilst doing the same thing to them. I prefer to take their favourite things off them now which works really well. I put the confiscated thing out of reach but in view of them and then I can remind them while pointing at the thing that teddy or blankie or whatever is still not coming back while this behaviour carries on.
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A
male
reader, SethA +, writes (3 April 2012):
Any type of violence against anyone is wrong. You should say the word "period" at the end of that sentence. But beyond that, spanking is just not needed. Spanking is a shortcut that seems to (and in rare cases does) achieve a desired effect, but at what cost? Some say none, others say more than you can imagine.
There are always, without exception, better or equal alternatives for punishing, correcting and teaching a child. One can only argue that point if they have not kept up with the latest research on the topic or simply choose to ignore it.
As far as anecdotal evidence, I never struck my child and she made it to adulthood without an arrest record or unwanted pregnancy. And if I may brag on her a bit, she graduated from a major college and is successful at her dream job in her mid-twenties.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2012): I got spanked many times as a kid, and I turned out pretty well. I'm top of ny class, never done drugs or alcohol, or done anything really bad. Same with my siblings. As long as you don't do it at everything, i don't think its wrong.
I don't think that parents understand what time outs are like for a kid. You send them to their rooms..with all their toys. The real punishment is the fact that they are being punished. But soon enough, every kid (as I did) figures out you can just play until your mom tells you you aren't grounded any more. I have to say, a spanking is a clear, effective way to get a message across. And I babysit two children whose parents don't spank, and their only punishment is 15 minute time outs. And those little devils are terrible!
And kids aren't as delicate as some might believe. You might not hit them, but their siblings will. Brothers and sisters beat each other up. Its a fact of life. And did a spanking realky scar anyone for life as people keep saying
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2012): Any punishment on a 2 year old is WRONG. A psychiatrist specializing in children told me that.
A 2 year old can not distinguish between good and bad. Even if you tell them. And he won't understand why he's being punished. It will break his heart and he will think that you don't love him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2012): Hi im the op. I do warn him before hand and i ask him to stop whatever hes doing before he gets a spanking. I dont do it to hurt him its more the shock of it that gets him. And i do take his toys away if he cant behave. I really only spank him if he is doing something dangerous or hurting someone else. You do make a very good point about him spanking the animals and me spanking him. He sometimes pulls our dogs ears untill she yelps of course i stop it and dont let him but if he doesnt stop i spank him and tell him thats how she feels when he pulls her ears he usually says uh oh and kisses her ears. Again most of the time when i spank him it doesnt hurt. I dont get a cry occassionally i get the delayed cry since i said no and he knows he cant. Maybe my way of thinkings a little flawed, i do tend to lean toward tough love... But i do use several forms of discipline to correct him. So im not constantly spanking or anything. I am really interested in others opinions though and i really appreciate your responses
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 April 2012):
 Personally I think it is wrong. But, it is illegal to spank or otherwise physically reprimand your children in Norway, so it doesn't really matter what I think. I wouldn't be allowed to anyway.
Not that I have studied child psychology, but a 2 year old shouldn't be expected to instantly know what he is allowed and isn't allowed to just because the adult thinks so. They also have a shorter memory frame and attention span. Many parents overestimate what the child is capable of understanding at a young age. Similarly many underestimate their children, there's a fine line in the middle.
Anyway, overestimating their capabilities and then following up with a physical punishment will not do him any good. Talking to him and checking if he understands what he did wrong, on the other hand, is much more beneficial. That way you can trust him to behave not only when you are there watching him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2012): In my eyes it's wrong, I'm not saying its abuse or anything like that, but I think there are better ways to teach a child, at the end of the day everything you do is teaching him to do the same, if you spank him when hes done something wrong what he learns is "when I'm not happy with someone I should smack them to show them" have you ever watched super nanny? I don't know if they have an American version of the programme but I think you should, it's really good.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2012): Is it wrong? Not the way you do it, that's not wrong. But with pants and a diaper it's not as if he's even going to feel it anyway.
I do think it's an ineffective way of punishing a child though. He's a little boy, they're well capable of brushing off a couple of knocks and bumps, a spanking isn't going to deter bad behaviour. You might be better off finding something that's more dear to a boy his age to use as leverage. Taking away privileges and rewarding good behaviour. A friend of mine punishes her daughter by not forgetting it and then not allowing her to watch her favourite program later in the day. Or having ice cream after dinner but not allowing her daughter to have any for an earlier infraction. The trick is to be consistent, never let a punishment you have designated slide.
OP a spanking lasts a couple of seconds at the most, it doesn't really hurt and once used to it, it can be forgotten after 5 minutes. Knowing you're having some of his favourite things later and he's not allowed, or eating the chocolate bar you bought for him earlier in front of him are things he won't soon forget.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2012): I have a son the same age and I don't need to resort to spanking for such things.
Reasonable consequences for such choices are not instilled at such an early age with unnecessary force.
One Good Method is a time out, with timer set to two minutes.
Explain what was not acceptable behaviour in a calm, loving but firm manner.
Give the time out.
After time out, repeat what you desire for good behaviour, and hug and kiss reassurance and forgiveness.
It does no one any good to spank in Anger, Frustration, and over rely on a heavy hand. There is no REAL and effective problem solving method being implemented.
http://www.eydcp.com/discipline/10-ways-to-punish-a-child-without-spanking/
http://www.circleofmoms.com/article/3-rules-make-timeouts-work-page-1-02243
I also suggest you purchased The Nanny by Jo Frost. Its one of my most Favourite books on such a topic. Wonderful insight that I can testify has had positive effects on my sons and home.
Xoxoxo
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J  +, writes (2 April 2012):
 The key here is "when he's doing something he knows he shouldn't do". He KNOWS that he is being deliberately defiant, so he should know what to expect. At that age, he cannot understand reasoned argument and the concept of personal responsibility, so he has to be taught in the only way that he WILL understand.
Also, if he continues to be willfully disobedient, what if he "breaks" safety rules because he thinks it is clever to do so and winds you up? If he hasn't been trained by minor smacks, he will know he can get away with it with very little in the way of sanction, until one day he goes under a car's wheels.....
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (2 April 2012):
Generally spanking is a pointless act carried out due to frustration in the parent and teaches your child a very bad lesson. However with a two year old and potentially life threatening situations it could be a last resort. Probably pointless with all that padding though. You can usually get your message over better by combining a cuddle with a talking to with a loudet and very stern voice. The thing is to reserve this for serious correction issues, do anything too often and it will become normal for the child, pointless at correcting, and sometimes completely counterproductive as the child quickly learns how to get attention. I once asked swedish friend about the no spanking law in sweden and he told me it worked and no one spanked and you can do other things. .....like shake the child! !!! I think that is worse! Get some books on child psychology and see how it relates to your individual child and how you best teach your child. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2012): I didn't spank my daughter when she was a toddler, and now she's about to turn 10 and is extremely well behaved. So I don't believe in it and in my experience it isn't necessary to get a well adjusted and disciplined child.
That said, my parents spanked me and I think I came out fine... well mostly anyway lol!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 April 2012):
 Let me ask you a question....
when he spanks the dog or cat for doing something wrong will you spank him for hitting the dog? how will you explain to him why it's ok for you to spank him but not for him to spank others?
not saying that spanking is wrong... just asking how you plan to explain it to him....
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