A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi.. am 20 yrs old and I am in a relationship with a girl for about 2 yrs. Everything was very normal until another girl came into my life. I met her 6 months back and we became very close. My girlfriend kws about me and my friend. 2 days back my best friend proposed to me. I was totally taken aback. She kws am committed but still proposed to me but then immideately asked sorry and said she made a huge mistake and told that she ll leave me because she may cause problems in my life. I couldn't let her go cos I like her way too much to lose her. She still thinks of me that way. After she said this I am nt able to think of anything else except her. I dunno wats happening to me, my galfrnd trusts me but am afraid that I ll hurt her :'( am behaving lik a jerk I kw but I really can't stop thinking abt her (my frnd). I don't want to lea but I am feeling guilty as hell. My galfrnd noticed that am so dull wen am with her n kws der is something wrong going on.. I dunno hw I ll break it to her. I dunno hw I ll come out of this. I desperately need help.. pls help me:'(
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female
reader, Lucky786  +, writes (10 April 2012):
 Oh and don't you just love the drama?! Two women to choose from, it's like being a kid in a candy shop when the shop owner isn't around.You've known your girlfriend for 2 years and this "friend" for 6 months and this friend suddenly proposes to you knowing that you have a girlfriend. Why would you even want to be with a woman who is ready to break up a relationship for her own selfish desires?You know you are acting like a jerk. I think you will carry on stringing both girls along because you love the idea of two women wanting you.
A
female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen  +, writes (10 April 2012):
 You're easily fooled. Congratulations, you've been taken for a ride by a minx. The marriage proposal sure got you thinking `maybe I should be with her'. If you broke up with your girlfriend, would the offer still stand? The grass is always greener on the other side, but now you have to face your girlfriend knowing that you're just that little bit less sure about her - you never know when a better offer will come along. Yes, you're probably heading towards and affair. But don't live like that!
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (10 April 2012):
 You cannot keep two girls on a string. And you should step back from both girls and reconsider your position. Your girlfriend of two years hardly needs to be constantly undermined by Miss 6 months.
And Miss 6 months may be one of those girls who really likes taking away the boyfriend of one girl, only to drop him when she has snared him.
Proposing to a guy who has a permanent girlfriend is not the sort of actions I would expect from a girl who has scruples. It is a sneaky and underhand way to undermine your primary relationship.
Once your girlfriend of two years hears about the actions of Miss 6 months I doubt that your primary girlfriend is going to tolerate the presence of Miss 6 months.
So you have a big decision to make.
Miss 6 months has made an opening bid for you. A huge over-step-the-mark level bid. De-stabilising you no doubt. You may even be flattered. Step back from Miss 6 months because you are in a relationship. Talk to your Primary girlfriend. She may want to split with you or take a break from your company as she will wonder just exactly what has been going on between you and Miss 6 months. Possibly just flirting. But I doubt that your primary girlfriend will see it as a positive situation for her.
And Miss 6 months is besotted with you and yet she has not been your primary girlfriend. Just a girl who wants to steal you away from your primary girlfriend with her outrageous disloyal actions.
Of course I can understand you feeling guilty. Thought I expect you will be the loser in all this. Miss 6 months knows you are committed to your primary girlfriend but she is impatient to throw a spanner in the works and make things awkward for you.
From a distance another person can look all rosy. But get into a close relationship and you will see the cracks.
Which girl would make the best life partner? Which one would be the kindest most caring mother to your children? Which girl manages her money better? Which girl treats her family and her friends in the nicest possible way.
Sadly I think Miss 6 months has behaved dishonourably even though you may be besotted with her. But I would not trust her an inch. If you married this girl then how would you feel in a few years time when she does the same to another married couple?
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A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth +, writes (10 April 2012):
 You're right, you ARE behaving like a jerk. Tell your girlfriend what's going on and allow her to move on with her life instead of being stuck in a relationship with a guy who loves someone else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2012): If you want your girlfriend, tell her what has happened, and prepare to not see this friend anymore. Thats likely what would end up happening or due to lack of trust she may leave you, but please be honest and tell what happened. It was kind of silly for your friend to be doing that though, havent even dated yet and she does that, odd.......but, i cant tell cause im a little tired, but if you have feelings for this chick and end up with her, dont get married this fast lol.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2012): You don't need help, you need to grow a pair and make a decision. Sorry to be harsh but you are treating two girls like rubbish and, as a girl, I don't like to let the side down!!
So you do one of two things; let your friend go because she cannot ever be just a friend. She's admitted feelings for you and tried to be out of your life but you told her to stay, that is not fair on her. Or you be honest with your girlfriend and say that you are developing feelings for your friend and want to split up because you don't want to cheat on her.
It's that simple, it's not life or death you just need to make a decision and stick to it. At the moment you are stringing your friend along and your girlfriend is not in the relationship she deserves because your thoughts are elsewhere. Do not leave it long, the sooner you get on with it the sooner the weight will be off your shoulders and everyone can move on with their lives.
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