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| | *oot-In-My-Mouth's profile:What qualifies you to help people?
My ability to call a spade a spade. And my genuine interest in other people. I'm an unapologetic feminist. Take it or leave it.
Where do you live?
India.
What makes you tick?
Politics, activism, wildlife, forests and travelling.
What's your relationship status?
Committed. |
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Meeting my online boyfriend for the first time, he might be expecting to meet a THIN girl!
Q. So me and this boy have been talking online for about two years now. And don't worry he is a mutual friend of MANY of my friends and a lot of my friends think he's a nice guy. He has a lot going for him, and any girl would be lucky to have him. He ...
A. 8 July 2012: Send him full length photographs BEFORE you meet. Send them casually, like you could say you went somewhere and send many pictures within which you could slip in a few of your unmorphed, full-length photos. If he still wants to meet, he's probably ... (read in full...)
My friend cheated on her husband, should I tell him?
Q. I have a "friend" who has admitted to me that she has cheated on her husband before they got married last Sept. Though I do enjoy her company, I'm not close with her. I was rather shocked that she would tell me something like this because my fiancee ...
A. 8 July 2012: I would suggest that you just mind your own business and stay out of her matters. That will be best for all involved. ... (read in full...)
Should I perform oral sex on my B/f just to make him happy? Or should he respect my decision and not make me feel bad for not doing it?
Q. My long distance boyfriend keeps asking me to perform oral sex on him. We have had numerous discussions sometimes resulting in arguments in which I explain that I'm not comfortable doing so and he tells me it would make him happy so I should. Before ...
A. 29 June 2012: I've been in exactly the same position as you. I stood my ground and said I wouldn't do what I hated doing. Oral sex is not like cooking or giving a massage or something that you can do purely to make someone else happy. It's about placing someone ... (read in full...)
I want to be her guy!
Q. Hey people, i am going to come straight to the point. There is this girl in my med school whom i like. One of my other friend also likes her. I actually want to be the alpha male and get her because i genuinely like her. I flirt a lot with her, i ...
A. 28 June 2012: Tell her how you feel, honestly and clearly. Don't play mind games or deliver any clever lines. Just be honest and sincere. That works best. ... (read in full...)
If I am resigned to a lousy love life but otherwise a good relationship is that worth hanging onto?
Q. Dear Aunts, I am more in love with my current girlfriend of 5 years than I have been with any other woman, but she is a sexual dead fish. She does not enjoy sex with me and she won't work with me to improve it. Quite frankly, I think she i...
A. 28 June 2012: Depends on your priorities. I would personally stay with a perfect emotional/intellectual match and put up with lousy sex than to have great sex but remain unfulfilled emotionally and intellectually. It's easier to get good sex than to find love. If ... (read in full...)
How do I find a boyfriend who doesn't use porn?
Q. Hi everyone, I am deadset on finding a boyfriend who doesn't use porn when in a relationship, my problem is how will I know? In what way could i find this information out? If i tell them i dont like it they will hide it from me or tell me they don't ...
A. 28 June 2012: Just make it clear in the beginning that usage of porn is a deal-breaker. Mention it casually, while bringing up the topic. Or else, pretend you don't mind your man watching porn in order to make the guy tell you the truth. It's not easy but there ... (read in full...)
New boyfriend admitted he can't get an erection because of my weight and I'm devastated....Help!?
Q. I have an incredible new boyfriend I really like, but he has trouble getting and keeping an erection, and the reason is.....my weight. We are incredibly drawn to each other on so many levels- intellectually, emotionally, etc. He says he finds my ...
A. 22 June 2012: I don't believe that bullshit for a second. I'm obese and my boyfriend has no trouble keeping it up...because he doesn't have ED. Your boyfriend does. And he's blaming you for his ailment instead of admitting that he has a problem. I wouldn't stay ... (read in full...)
She's into sex, but hardly romantic
Q. I have a girlfriend who has a huge sex drive but almost a childlike emotional state of mind. She's all for having lots of hardcore kinky sex which is good, but her romantic side is so low it makes me seem like a woman. What gives? I'm at the end of ...
A. 9 June 2012: You must consider whether you can live long term with someone who fulfills only your physical needs and not your emotional ones. Because in a relationship, romance and sentimentality are important. They lend a sense of contentment and fulfillment. ... (read in full...)
We met on facebook and he wants to have sex with me
Q. MODERATOR NOTE: TWO QUESTIONS COMBINED FROM SAME ASKER so im 16 and i know this guy from fb that i have been iming 4 bout a month now he is 23 and realy cute n he asked me out and wants to sleep with me but he said if i dont sleep with him then he ...
A. 9 June 2012: I suggest you block him on Facebook. Make the most of the terrific block option. Creeps should have no place in your life!... (read in full...)
I want to be her guy!
Q. Hey people, i am going to come straight to the point. There is this girl in my med school whom i like. One of my other friend also likes her. I actually want to be the alpha male and get her because i genuinely like her. I flirt a lot with her, i ...
A. 9 June 2012: I'm an Indian too and I've dated a Muslim man for several years. We might even get married. I'm an atheist of Hindu origin. My cousin married a Muslim girl and they're happy together. Times are changing. If you don't try, you'll be stuck where you ... (read in full...)
I want to be her guy!
Q. Hey people, i am going to come straight to the point. There is this girl in my med school whom i like. One of my other friend also likes her. I actually want to be the alpha male and get her because i genuinely like her. I flirt a lot with her, i ...
A. 8 June 2012: I think you should tell her that you love her before the other guy does. Of course, you should do that if you do love her and you're serious, and not just looking for a fling. ... (read in full...)
Does masturbating diminish physical strength?
Q. okay...i want u people to clear this to me once and for all!!Is masterbuating in any way NOT good for health???Does it decrease physical strength???i have heard all kind of things but m not sure what is true...thanks in advance!...
A. 8 June 2012: "Is masterbuating in any way NOT good for health???"
I suppose you mean 'masturbating'. It's NOT bad for health.
Does it decrease physical strength???
NO.
... (read in full...)
How do I help my friend come out of depression?
Q. hiiiii how to make people come out of dipression when their very close friends pass away..... how can i make make my friend come out of dipression... his close friend is no more with whom he used to share everthing... ...
A. 8 June 2012: I think you posted this question before. Your boyfriend's close female friend passed away and he was depressed. The best way is to opt for professional treatment, whether with a psychiatrist or psychologist. ... (read in full...)
Nice guy, or overbearing?
Q. Hi all... I hope this isn't too long but im at work and not sure what to do, so hopefully this will give me some clarity. I have been dating the most wonderful girl for the past 3 months. Her ex boyfiend was a nasty peice of work and used to ...
A. 6 June 2012: Text her back and go for dinner. These small things happen in relationships. Misunderstandings, impulsive words etc. are a part and parcel of life and love. Let go of that little bit she said. Don't dwell upon words in a relationship. They're often ... (read in full...)
How do I learn to behave more maturely for my boyfriend?
Q. hiii, Actually i struggle a lot with how to behave with my boyfriend .. * he always says i am childish ..... * i drag things a lot..he does not have patience to hear. * i text him a lot and it annoys him wen his relatives will ...
A. 6 June 2012: This won't work out. You're not compatible and your presence (and nearly everything you do) annoys him. You can't (and shouldn't) change yourself entirely for another person. End this relationship and make sure that the next time you commit to ... (read in full...)
My best friend got me pregnant, and my husband is threatening to leave. Should I keep the baby?
Q. I'm 30 years old and I have been married for nearly 7 years. I love my husband very much but I do believe you can love two people at once. I am also in love with my best friend- occasionally, when we hang out, we have sex. We know it is wrong and I ...
A. 6 June 2012: My advice would be to have the abortion. The situation just isn't right for the baby-to-be (now foetus) and I think the baby deserves a 'normal' family life and not all this confusion, and the lack of a father figure. If you abort, you'll be putting ... (read in full...)
Does watching lesbian pornography make me gay?
Q. Hi, I'm straight and have always been with men. However, i just realized that i like to watch lesbian porn and i like to look at pictures of naked women on the internet. I just find women beautiful. I wouldnt never be interested in looking at naked ...
A. 5 June 2012: Most heterosexual porn is made from the 'male gaze' and is centred around the pleasure for the male involved. Women in it are just objects to be used to attain pleasure for the male. When you watch a man performing cunnilingus on a woman, the focus, ... (read in full...)
Should I cheat on him?
Q. Ok ok I can do this _ SO! This is my first question on a site like this so... If this question is dumb please be gentle.. Sooo I have a boyfriend I love him a lot! The thing is it's long distance and things get a bit... lonely.. He's a total video ...
A. 5 June 2012: If you decide to cheat on him, make sure that later on, maybe years later, when you're together with your boyfriend, you don't get drunk or get emotional and confess. That would be THE end.
The trick to successful cheating is to forget that you... (read in full...)
My brother is controlling my life
Q. hiii its problem with my elder brother..... he restricts for everythin i do.... he dont like me wearing jeans.... he dont like me leaving loose hair..he alwways wants me to put plates which i dont do... i never dress up odd.. it will be ju...
A. 5 June 2012: It's very common in South Asian culture to conceal male bullying under the guise of filial love. You can't change the way people think here. They think they own you, body, mind and soul. Get a job, move out and do your own thing. Don't concentrate ... (read in full...)
I'd love to win my ex back, but then part of me would love to move on from her once and for all. What should I do?
Q. Ok, I'll start with one thing: it was a long distance relationship. We met on the Saint Valentine's day in 2011 and had some amazing time together. She's from Canada and she was amazed by Russia, and I happened to be from Russia. It was all nice ...
A. 2 June 2012: She can get professional help for the problem, OP. I don't think she's a bad person. I recognise all those symptoms of manic depression and you confirmed my doubts. The issue does have a solution, provided you're both willing to work towards it.... (read in full...)
Risk my heart for passion? Or not have passion but have stability?
Q. "John" is the father of my four year old daughter. He hasn't seen her in four years. My choice, because I don't like his lifestyle. He's a player, has to be out every single night, and my daughter is only one of three of his kids, all with ...
A. 2 June 2012: Being the idiot that I am, I'd probably take John back and eff up my life again. But honestly and truly, if you have to take one of them back, take George. He's the sort of man you can have a future with. I understand and appreciate passion, but ... (read in full...)
Red flags all around but girlfriend insists that nothing is wrong
Q. Hello, I have a big issue and need alot of help. I would like to say thank you for reading this ahead of time as it will quite long but required in order to understand the issue. So, thank you. I have been seeing my gf for 5yrs or so, granted within ...
A. 31 May 2012: So you've both cheated on one another! This relationship is truly dysfunctional and deserves to be discarded unless you two enjoy the daily drama, which some people do.... (read in full...)
I recently lost my virginity, when will sex stop hurting?
Q. hi i just lost my virginty a few days ago , but it pained alot ,and couldnt even let him enter me fully . i am soo confused is this normal? how long does it take for me not to feel any pain ? and when will i get something out of it ,and i never bl...
A. 31 May 2012: If you are sufficiently aroused, you will feel no pain. Make sure there is enough foreplay before intercourse. Ask him to go down on you (cunnilingus) before penetration. And as a last option, use a water-based lubricant. ... (read in full...)
Should I wait another day and try a simple, "hey!" text? Or just not do anything else?
Q. IM 20. Home for the summer from college. Met this girl back in August in a school club (we meet on mondays and have a few parties, thats about the only time i saw her), she was dating someone at the time and i wasnt really into her. She didnt seem ...
A. 31 May 2012: Maybe her phone isn't working. Maybe she lost it and now has a new number. Maybe she isn't feeling well. Muster some much needed courage and give her a call. Texts aren't good enough!... (read in full...)
I'd love to win my ex back, but then part of me would love to move on from her once and for all. What should I do?
Q. Ok, I'll start with one thing: it was a long distance relationship. We met on the Saint Valentine's day in 2011 and had some amazing time together. She's from Canada and she was amazed by Russia, and I happened to be from Russia. It was all nice ...
A. 30 May 2012: I wanted to know whether she is clinically depressed. Sometimes clinical depression or even bipolar disorder can cause such erratic conduct. If she does suffer from such an ailment, there is professional help available. Just a thought. ... (read in full...)
I'd love to win my ex back, but then part of me would love to move on from her once and for all. What should I do?
Q. Ok, I'll start with one thing: it was a long distance relationship. We met on the Saint Valentine's day in 2011 and had some amazing time together. She's from Canada and she was amazed by Russia, and I happened to be from Russia. It was all nice ...
A. 29 May 2012: Does she suffer from depression? Have you ever asked her?... (read in full...)
I snooped and found my boyfriend had been lying about watching porn, how do I trust him again?
Q. How do I trust my boyfriend again after he lied and promised he didn't watch porn, but I found out he does by snooping? What should hurt more the fact he broke a promise and lied or the fact he did not come straight out to tell me he watched it? I ...
A. 28 May 2012: Don't trust him. He's a liar. And he's addicted to a habit that will destroy your relationship with him. ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my boyfriend watching porn? I feel sick at the thought of it!
Q. I recently found out my boyfriend watches porn, and I hate it! I have some real issues with myself, I have terribly low self confidence and low self esteem. We have a very active sex life, so why does he have to watch other women? What is wrong with ...
A. 28 May 2012: This has nothing to do with you. It has to do with his addcition and the fact that by indulging this habit (perhaps addiction) he's threatening your relationship and also causing himself a lot of psychological damage in the future. The ill effects ... (read in full...)
Still being judged for an affair 12 years later
Q. 12 yrs ago I had an affair with a married man which resulted in his divorcing his wife and leaving their 3 teenage children. A yr later he and I married and have been happily married ever since. His ex wife continues to call me an adulterer and has ...
A. 28 May 2012: What surprises me most is that your husband manages to get away with little criticism while you're labelled the 'home wrecker'. He is the one who cheated on his wife, not you. One cannot have an affair with oneself. HE was instrumental. But it's so ... (read in full...)
He doesn't seem teachable. Should I just fake it and take care of myself?
Q. Last night my bf and i were talking and i told him that we need to incorporate more foreplay in our love making. More blowjobs, touching, stimulation, etc. He told me he noticed how i wasnt as into sex and i told him it was because i am usually not ...
A. 28 May 2012: Most women need clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm. Very few women actually have them from only penetration. I'm sure the women he's talking about faked it too. I think he's selfish in bed and doesn't consider your pleasure important ... (read in full...)
After 6 years of loving him I found his engagement pictures on facebook .. what to do now?
Q. Hi Am a 17 years old will be 18 soon and I've been in love with this guy for 6 years , ever since I was 11 he and his family are family friends and because of that I never had the guts to tell him my true feelings , am a shy and a coy person n...
A. 28 May 2012: I was in the same position many years ago. I loved a guy for twenty years but never got around to telling him. I eventually mustered up enough courage to tell him and called him up. He lived abroad. When I told him how I felt about him, he told me ... (read in full...)
Bad sore throat after a bj
Q. My boyfriend is clean, and we know that for sure. Him and I had our first experience together, and I gave him a blow job. When I was doing it, all went well, except he started to push my head down a little farther, which resulted in me starting to ...
A. 27 May 2012: Does he watch too much porn? Because doing that sort of cruel thing has been popularised by porn where men gag and stifle a woman till she cries and throws up. Your throat will soon be okay but do you want to be with a guy who treats you like an ... (read in full...)
Would you date someone with scars from self-injury?
Q. Would you date someone with scars from self-injury? I recently went through a pretty rough period while I was far away from home at college, and I became so mentally worn that I resorted to cutting as a coping method. I know it's bad, and I kn...
A. 27 May 2012: I have plenty of pale scars on my wrist. They mostly go unnoticed and even when men do notice and understand, it doesn't stand in the way of dating or a relationship. It never has. I think your father's opinion is incorrect. He probably said that to ... (read in full...)
Girl on top. How is it done without being totally awkward?
Q. Ok, so I recently had my first time, but it hurt a lot, so I did some research and got some advice to try me on top next time. Only problem is, it seems like a really awkward position... But I'm sure you Aunts can help explain this to me so i...
A. 27 May 2012: It's easy. You sit on him, straddling him. Then you gently lower yourself so that his penis enters your vagina. And then you love yourself up and down against it. Keep your knees on the floor. It makes things much easier. Don't do it the way they do ... (read in full...)
My fiance likes to act out that I'm a virgin and he's dominating me when we have sex. Is this normal?
Q. Most of the times that my fiance Nd I have sex he plays out me to be a virgin and that his taking over me and he says things such as, ( no one can hear you, can you feel that pressure while its ripping your thinght virgin p***y.) Or he covers my ...
A. 27 May 2012: He's acting out a rape fantasy. It's sadistic. Do you enjoy it too? Or does it leave you feeling humiliated?... (read in full...)
If you love someone will you change for him?
Q. If someone expects you to change for him, is it love? If you love someone will you change for him? My boyfriend and I have been in disagreement recently. He expects me to understand his religion so that I can understand why he is a vegetarian a...
A. 26 May 2012: If he thinks that one should change for the person they love, why doesn't he turn into a free thinker like you or start eating meat? Why doesn't he practise what he preaches? Big red flag in my opinion. He has too many double standards. Think ... (read in full...)
Why are people so upset by the fact that I cant drive?
Q. For the longest time i have been fearful of the art of driving. as a teen i was never excited to get my drivers licensee like everyone else. I have always been baffled how people could go through life driving and ultimately putting there lives in ...
A. 26 May 2012: I know that driving is a big issue in Western countries probably because of the lack of adequate and cheap public transport or because of a more developed consumer culture. It's not an issue here. I don't drive. I take public transport. Nothing ... (read in full...)
Is he bailing out on me?
Q. Hello, I've known this guy along time. We had a great connection and began dating. We had a lot of fun together and I found myself developing some deep feelings for him. He explained early on he was "burnt" in a relationship years ago and aft...
A. 26 May 2012: He'll get back to you when he's bored or has nothing better to do. Basically, it's all about his needs. Not yours. Do you want to be stuck in such a situation?... (read in full...)
I told my husband I want to end the marriage and now he's acting all pitiful
Q. After being married for 12 years I've told my husband I can take it no more and I want out. He's been cheating which I found out and even after that I've put up for 3 years. We have 2 kids and I have been telling him since a year that I am not happy ...
A. 26 May 2012: He's certainly manipulating you into staying. If you're so unhappy, stick to your decision and ask him to leave. Perhaps you have to get a lawyer to complete legal and financial formalities or if he refuses to divorce through mutual consent. ... (read in full...)
Drunk, hooker and emails to exes (
Q. Hi, I've engaged for 3 years, planning to married soon around this year. We have up and down relationship, as we have different culture (I'm Asian/Indonesian and he's an Australian), but so far, we're trying to get it through. 2days ago, i call...
A. 26 May 2012: You know the truth of the situation. You want to deny it and you're hoping against hope that we'll tell you something that will justify keeping him and not shatter your palace of dreams. But I'm sorry. He's cheated on you and will carry on doing so. ... (read in full...)
Can I be friends with my ex?
Q. My ex-boyfriend and I started speaking again 5 months ago, after over a year of no contact after we broke up. We're extremely close and neither of us have the desire to get back together (although I wouldn't say those feelings have completely died ...
A. 26 May 2012: I used to think that exes can be friends till I analysed all my 'friendships' with my past boyfriends. They weren't friends. We would say 'hello' if we accidentally bumped into one another or even have a cup of tea together, but that's just ... (read in full...)
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