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| | *oot-In-My-Mouth's profile:What qualifies you to help people?
My ability to call a spade a spade. And my genuine interest in other people. I'm an unapologetic feminist. Take it or leave it.
Where do you live?
India.
What makes you tick?
Politics, activism, wildlife, forests and travelling.
What's your relationship status?
Committed. |
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Completely infatuated with a girl at work but I'm her superior at work, I'm married and she has a boyfriend!
Q. Need help interpreting things. Completely infatuated with a girl at work. I think mainly because I feel that I would occasionally get some vibes... Don't want to misinterpret anything. She's really cute, slightly shy. Plays with her...
A. 17 April 2012: So you're contemplating cheating on your wife? And you're here to ask us whether that's okay? Or to find help to interpret this girl's body language? Oh dear, dear! Do you have an iota of conscience? Do you have any feelings of loyalty towards your ... (read in full...)
When I think about my crush my breathing gets weird, is this normal?
Q. Is it normal that when I think about my crush I begin to breathe like weird x3 Like you know how you feel when you have to catch your breath? Yeah I do that and I sound really weird :P...
A. 16 April 2012: Initial period of infatuation...or if you prefer, love. Happens to a lot of people! But it is a pleasant feeling, isn't it? Enjoy it while it lasts. It doesn't last forever. ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a guy who is mixed and my dad is a racist jerk!
Q. I have been talking to the same guy for about 2 montha. last night, he asked me out and of coarse, i said yes. i totally like him a lot! but the thing is, he is mixed and my dad is racists jerk. imm not telling him anything about it yet, but i ...
A. 15 April 2012: You'll have to wait it out till you're 18 (that's when you reach adulthood in my country, I'm not so sure about yours but it should be 18 too, I think) and then do exactly what you want to. But till then, play it down and bide your time.... (read in full...)
Is it normal to keep lots of pics of your ex?
Q. Is it normal to keep pics of your exes? i mean lots of pics, naked, underwear shots, normal pics. Im not sure he is over these ex girlfriends!...
A. 15 April 2012: Sorry. Typo in my previous post. I meant it's NOT normal. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to keep lots of pics of your ex?
Q. Is it normal to keep pics of your exes? i mean lots of pics, naked, underwear shots, normal pics. Im not sure he is over these ex girlfriends!...
A. 15 April 2012: No, that's normal. It's all right to keep a few photographs somewhere, locked away in a box or something, but keeping them lying around where a partner can see them is most inconsiderate. And naked shots? No bloody way, that's totally unacceptable!... (read in full...)
Is my lady disappointed because my penis doesn't look like porn stars?
Q. Im 30 years old and my penis is roughly 7-3/4" long measuring accross the top, i can measure over 8" if you measure from the side butand i think thats cheating and 5.25-5.50" in girth, it also has not a bend but just a slight downward curve, I can ...
A. 15 April 2012: Stop watching porn. What you watch on there is not real. It's created in order to help people make big money by epxloiting porn actors, creating addicts out of normal people, ruining the sex lives and relationships of porn-addicts and creating ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my very depressed boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend hasn't been able to see his kids for three months now. His ex wife has done so much much mental damage to him to where he believes he is a terrible person, bad father and he is worthless. He has recently pushed me away, he won't hug me, ...
A. 15 April 2012: Make him see a psychiatrist. I suffered from MDD (major depressive disorder) for donkey's years and after lots of medication and counselling, I'm much better now. His symptoms remind me of my own. I tend to think he's either got dysthymia or MDD. So ... (read in full...)
What does foreplay actually consist of?
Q. I read in Cosmo that the ideal foreplay time for women was 20 minutes. My question is, what does foreplay actually include? Is oral sex (cunni) considered foreplay? It can take a while for me to get turned on but i have to say i dont think i ever ...
A. 15 April 2012: I wish...all I ever got was 2-3 minutes. And when I couldn't come, he'd get upset and accusatory. ... (read in full...)
How can I make sure he is happy when I am not around?
Q. Hey, Before posing my question, I would first like to state that I am from India where love is hardly accepted and arranged marriage is the tradition. As such love marriages, especially from different castes are highly opposed. I have been in a r...
A. 14 April 2012: Let's set the facts right first. Not all of Indian society is the way you describe it. My parents has an intercaste marriage in the late sixties. My sister had one in the early nineties. And I am going to marry someone who's not even an Indian. So ... (read in full...)
Is this guy a player?
Q. hello frnds, i need help ok lemme tell you ...i met this guy on facebook but actually we wereschoolmates he was my senior but we hardly talk the only thing he used to to in school was staring at me and onnce he made an effort and asked how i was ...
A. 14 April 2012: He's using you. I just know that type too well. They are usually frustrated jerks who can't score with girls and when they get a chance, they'll use women for their dirty fantasies and then disappear and opt for an arranged marriage. Stop taking his ... (read in full...)
I feel like a freak because I don't want children!
Q. Is it weird that I don't want children? Sometimes I feel like a freak. All the women in my family are VERY fertile, they all have kids and most started at young ages. Even all the men in my family have or want children. So when I tell my mother and ...
A. 14 April 2012: I'm 28 and I don't want children either. It's probably because I fear the monotony of a conventional family life...having to schedule my life around their lives. I wouldn't be able to go off somewhere impulsively (like I tend to do often) and it ... (read in full...)
I need to know if my girlfriend honestly does not remember performing oral sex on this guy in high school!
Q. Hi aunts and uncles im actually a veteran on this site been on it for 5 years giving advice and now im going to need some. Ok so ive been with my girlfriend for a year now but in the begining she wanted to know my sexuall past so i told her and in ...
A. 14 April 2012: I know a bunch of men who make these stories up. The fact that you trust this obviously dishonourable boy over your girlfriend shows that you have serious trust issues. And every person is entitled to keep a few facts private. Have you given her ... (read in full...)
I told I'm pregnant, he said "I'll talk to you tomorrow, I don't want to say the wrong thing right now" what does that mean?
Q. Hello, Men! I need your advice, ladies your welcome to opinions as well. I've been dating a man long distance, known him for a year, dating for 5 months, we are not in a committed relationship but we do go and visit each other every 2 months, we ...
A. 14 April 2012: If the guy wasn't serious, he would have used a condom. No use blaming the girl for this!! (To the anonymous male poster below me.)
I think he might try to accuse you of sleeping with other men. I sincerely hope he doesn't but I think he was abou... (read in full...)
Conservative Indian parents don't approve of my American boyfriend!
Q. so i come from a very conservative background. i'm indian, my family believes in marriages only with those who are indian, and care mostly for their own reputation. not too long ago, they found out i was dating an american boy for almost a year now. ...
A. 14 April 2012: I'm going through exactly the same situation. In my case, my boyfriend is English. Your parents are not racist. They're scared that you will never be able to come to terms with American culture and your boyfriend won't understand or appreciate the ... (read in full...)
Is his friendship inappropriate or is my cousin just being jealous?
Q. This is my cousin's 'Emma's' problem. She's asked me for help, but I'm almost 35 and she's only a young 22, so I feel the level of the maturity in her relationship is so different to mine, that I can't fully understand and therefore advise her, ...
A. 13 April 2012: I agree with all the other agony aunts. Ed doesn't inspire faith and Emma needs to be with someone who doesn't go running to other women for emotional support (or whatever). Ed's been uncommunicative, surly and has come up with terrible excuses for ... (read in full...)
My married lover found out I was talking to other guys and now he's ending things with me
Q. good day readers! i am so over whelmed when i found out this website that i think can probably help me in my difficulties nowadays. i am 23y.o. of age and i am so in love with a 50y.o. man. he is married in the other country and has two kids. we...
A. 13 April 2012: You're in a relationship with a man who is cheating on his wife, seemingly has no interest in divorcing her, is old enough to be your father and is breaking off with you because you have male friends? This must be a joke!
How do you know he lives... (read in full...)
Husband of 20 years suddenly going to strip clubs. What is up?
Q. My husband of twenty years has recently started to go to strip clubs and bars while out of town for work. His work buddies have lots of stories to tell that involve the other guy doing something wrong but not them. They have each blamed the other ...
A. 13 April 2012: In my book, this counts as cheating. Tell him point blank that you are upset about this behaviour and that he should not go again, not if he respects your feelings, not if he loves you. I can't understand how a married man could go ogle at naked ... (read in full...)
I arranged to go away with husband but now he is hedging about me going!
Q. Several months ago my husband invited me to attend an out of town meeting with him, in another city for a week. He has invited me lots of times because it's like a mini-vacation. I enjoy the hotel gym, the pool, and go shopping while he's in ...
A. 13 April 2012: Honestly, your husband doesn't sound like a very trustworthy person. There is no reason why he should keep in touch with his old fuck boddy even after marriage. And it's rather outrageous on his part to ditch you and go off for lunch with that ... (read in full...)
I don't think my boyfriend is 'right' for me.
Q. I'm so confused! Okay, so I've dated my boyfriend for a couple months now, but we've known each other for about a year now. He dates one of my good friends right before him and I started dating. Well, they've been talking more and more and I've tol...
A. 13 April 2012: It's obvious that both of you are more interested in other people so it doesn't make much sense to keep this relationship going. End the relationship if you're not happy with him, if you like someone else more than you like him. It's not fair to ... (read in full...)
Why is he starting to act like this when we have been broken up for 4 weeks?
Q. my boyfriend and i of 17 months broke up march 15th we have a 8 month old daughter.... he has been saying he is dating someone we stopped talking and stopped seeing each other i had begged him over and over and over for 3 days i texted him none stop ...
A. 13 April 2012: What a selfish, manipulative player he is! I'd suggest you cut him off entirely. You don't want your child to grow up around a father who sleeps around, uses people and acts like a classic cad. ... (read in full...)
Recently I've become fearful that I would cheat if I were in a relationship!
Q. Hello DC, So I have something that I've been thinking about a lot recently. So at the moment I'm a single 20 year old guy. Not bothered by being single as at sometimes I'm glad of it, others not. But I recently became a little fearful at the t...
A. 13 April 2012: I've had that feeling too. That's why every time I'm in a relationship, I put myself on a tight leash and avoid situations where I might be tempted. I also try to think how I'd feel if my partner did the same...and that helps keep temptation in ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said even though marrying and having children with me would muddy his bloodline, he would overlook it!
Q. Im a 26 year old british asian female, my 31 year old bf is a white american male. We have been together for a few months and recently he expressed a desire to have kids one day in the future. Of course this is great! I would love children with ...
A. 13 April 2012: I agree with Cindy about collusion between the perpetrator and the victim. Perfect example!... (read in full...)
This girl I work with is cheating on her fiance! Should I tell him or stay out of it?
Q. Should I say something? Or say out of it? There is a girl Ive worked with at work that I got to know very well. Ive even met her fiance about four or five times when he stops over at are work to pick her up which they will be getting married ...
A. 13 April 2012: I think anonymous letters are written only by cowards. If you have conviction about a matter, you should also have had the balls to go and tell him or sign the letter with your name. Anonymous letters are for people who want to escape the ... (read in full...)
Do I confront my wife about her cheating or just file for a divorce?
Q. i have discovered that my wife of six years is having an online affair,as if thats not bad enough the third party involved mentions in his emails about my children being as his own children and says they will all be together as a new family soon,i ...
A. 13 April 2012: I'd say confront her and speak things out. Atleast give her one chance to explain herself. And no, I don't think you should play dirty tricks and go on a vendetta against your own wife like Cerberus wants you to do. That's plain low and you wouldn't ... (read in full...)
How can I have a relationship when I don't trust women?
Q. All I have in this world is my balls and my word. And I don't trust women. I am not saying they're all bad. I just think when the times get tough, they disappear. And when the times are good, they love you. Am I wrong? With an attitude like this, ...
A. 13 April 2012: Do you distrust your mother too? She's a woman, you know!... (read in full...)
How can I have a relationship when I don't trust women?
Q. All I have in this world is my balls and my word. And I don't trust women. I am not saying they're all bad. I just think when the times get tough, they disappear. And when the times are good, they love you. Am I wrong? With an attitude like this, ...
A. 13 April 2012: Women are not this separate class of beings who are different from men and saying stuff like, "I don't trust women" makes you sound like a misogynist, which you might well be. Women are people. Just like men. They're just normal human beings with ... (read in full...)
Are women losing their skills in "traditional" roles?
Q. Are women losing skills in roles they traditionally did like cooking and housekeeping? If so, what skills are they gaining instead? Let me first say that I love my wife, but I was shocked at how little she is able to do. She is an excellent ...
A. 12 April 2012: I'm sort of irritated with this trend of saying "I'm not sexist" and then going on a sexist rant, just like people make offensive racial jokes but preface it by saying, "I'm not racist but...". You are what your actions and thoughts say you ... (read in full...)
During sex I decided it wasnt right..was that rape?
Q. I met up with this guy and concented to sex...then during sex I decided this wasnt right and asked him repeatedly to stop....he didnt, I even tried moving but I wasnt strong enough, when it was all over I just let it go and stayed the night....I ...
A. 12 April 2012: It was rape. Period. ... (read in full...)
Are there any men they do not use pornography in a relationship?
Q. Are there any men here who don't use pornography in a relationship? I would absolutely love knowing they weren't looking at anyone else. I don't even know why they still do it and thinks it's normal to still look when they are getting sex. Men want ...
A. 12 April 2012: I know a whole lot of men who don't actually. But those who do have their own agenda in trying to prove that all men do...which is certainly not true. ... (read in full...)
My g/f sees a man once and week and he pays her bills. Do I believe her that there is nothing sexual?
Q. I got a girlfriend that sees a man once week and he pays her bills. and she says all they do is go out to eat and be his friend, but she swears on her kids life they dont do anything sexual. she says she loves me and i need to stop worrying about ...
A. 12 April 2012: Ascertain the facts before jumping to any conclusion. Maybe there is actually nothing sexual involved but an entirely different matter, something you know nothing about or something she hesitates to discuss with you. Don't assume that she's cheating ... (read in full...)
My mother started a fight and hit me in front on my 2 year old son!
Q. I have never had a good relatinoship with my mother. Myself and my 2 sisters have never got on with her. She is a very difficult and manipulative person and likes to pick fights. Last week we had an argument about something as usual. However, ...
A. 12 April 2012: I have to point out that you pushed her first, and though her reaction was disproportionate and uncalled for, you can't really blame it all on her. You had no business pushing your mother around, no matter what she said or did. Having said that, you ... (read in full...)
Should I press charges because she uploaded a photo of us on facebook?
Q. Hi. I'm new, here. Last week, I have had a photograph of me with a female friend. I thought she would NOT post the photograph on the internet. However, just yesterday, I check her Facebook, just to see her photo album, as she mentionned a nea...
A. 12 April 2012: Lawyer here! No, it's not a violation of law but one of trust (and not a criminal breach of trust anyway) so it's not actionable. I fail to understand why you're getting so worked up about it. Call her and request her to remove it. It looks like ... (read in full...)
She has thin hair and I'm worried that she might go bald!
Q. So I've been dating this lovely girl for 2 months now. she's so wonderful and i absolutely adore her. But there's one small,superficial issue that i hate myself for caring so much about. The girl's got some thin hair and i can see some of her ...
A. 12 April 2012: If that were really an issue, most women would abandon their boyfriends and husbands because male pattern baldness is very common and after middle age, very few men have luxurious locks of hair. So I agree with you that it IS a superficial thing and ... (read in full...)
I know my mom is cheating with my band director. How do I stop it so my dad doesn't find out?
Q. My mom has been married to my dad for 19 years. A year ago I began to see her texting my Band Director/teacher just about everytime I saw her on he phone. I confronted her about it and they said they were ashamed of me thinking that and thy would ...
A. 12 April 2012: I'd go with Aunty Susie and ask you to stay out of it, even if it hurts like hell. Don't tell your father. Let them resolve the issue between themselves. ... (read in full...)
My pregnant girlfriend is worried about gaining weight and isn't eating right!
Q. My girlfriend is currently pregnant. This will be her second child, this is my first baby. She suffers from bouts of depression here and there, and I talk to her and try to lift her spirits as best I can. My concern is her eating, or, at times, l...
A. 12 April 2012: You have to drill it into her that no matter how much weight she gains, you'll still find her attractive and always love her. She fears rejection because of appearance issues and has to be made to feel secure and appreciated. That apart, a ... (read in full...)
Is she interested or not?
Q. My ex and I recently ran into eachother and have started talking again. We broke up over 2 years ago. She split up with me because she thought I was seeing someone else, which I wasn't, and she thought I was a bit needy. Her insecurity made me t...
A. 12 April 2012: Atleast things are clear now. She wants everything on her terms alone. Anything you have to say counts little to her. So you can now move on and look forward to better things in life. All the best!... (read in full...)
This girl I work with is cheating on her fiance! Should I tell him or stay out of it?
Q. Should I say something? Or say out of it? There is a girl Ive worked with at work that I got to know very well. Ive even met her fiance about four or five times when he stops over at are work to pick her up which they will be getting married ...
A. 11 April 2012: Don't speak to anyone about this. Frankly, it's none of your business. ... (read in full...)
Husband wants me to have sex with another man, but he doesn't want to watch, he just wants me to tell him about it. What is this called?
Q. Can someone please tell me... " my husband wants me to have sex with another man, he does not want to watch but he wants me to tell him about it" What is this called? ...
A. 11 April 2012: Glad it has all ended well. ... (read in full...)
Questions you have always wanted answering....
Q. So my best friend and I began writing a book last year answering questions that men around us have been asking about women. Why does my mum cry but have no idea why she's crying? Why do women get very defensive and angry sometimes even though they...
A. 10 April 2012: Why do men want sex all the time? ... (read in full...)
Married teacher is always staring at me....what should I think?
Q. OMG, I just can't figure what's going on? (my male teacher) He's married and he's 32-33 - ALWAYS stares ONLY at me in class for so long and sometimes I look back, but he doesn't turn away and stares deeper in my eyes, so I instinctively felt that he ...
A. 10 April 2012: I would have asked you to glare at him and make him uncomfortable so that he has to look away but that's probably not advisable as he's your teacher. Give him the cold shoulder and pretend like he doesn't exist. That should work (provided you want ... (read in full...)
She was a virgin when she met me but had dated a guy before me, I get so jealous because of this! Am I wrong? What should I do?
Q. I'm 5 years of marriage and i am my wife's first man, she was virgin before me i wasn't. The fact is she used to date a guy by distance and we have a lovely friend who is this guy parent! I get jealous everytime we have to go to a child party or to ...
A. 10 April 2012: Yes, you're wrong. And for heaven's sake dump those hypocritical double standards. She was a virgin, you weren't. She has more reasons to be jealous but she's reasonable and not consumed by ego. So admit your mistake, apologise to her and stop ... (read in full...)
Is she interested or not?
Q. My ex and I recently ran into eachother and have started talking again. We broke up over 2 years ago. She split up with me because she thought I was seeing someone else, which I wasn't, and she thought I was a bit needy. Her insecurity made me t...
A. 10 April 2012: Probably not, but in order to be sure, swallow your pride and ask her how she feels about you.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said even though marrying and having children with me would muddy his bloodline, he would overlook it!
Q. Im a 26 year old british asian female, my 31 year old bf is a white american male. We have been together for a few months and recently he expressed a desire to have kids one day in the future. Of course this is great! I would love children with ...
A. 7 April 2012: 'Little flaw'? I thought racism is an absolute deal-breaker!!... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said even though marrying and having children with me would muddy his bloodline, he would overlook it!
Q. Im a 26 year old british asian female, my 31 year old bf is a white american male. We have been together for a few months and recently he expressed a desire to have kids one day in the future. Of course this is great! I would love children with ...
A. 7 April 2012: This means he's a f****** racist and needs to be shown the door as soon as possible. Don't ever have children with a man who doesn't respect you and is a bigot. Have some pride, girl! ... (read in full...)
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