A
female
age
30-35,
*ram
writes:hello.i m a grl of 18.i met a guy on fb.he is of24.i m an indian nd he is pakistani.we were initially good frnds.we chat daily on fb for hours nd hours.after somedays i came to know dat i love him nd cant live widout him.i was on his addiction.once he himself told me dat he loves me ,nd wanna marry me.i sent him my pictures nd shared our cell number.we love each other so much nd cant live widout oder but d problem is dat he is a pakistani nd nowadays its really difficult 4 pkistanis to get visa of india.we wanna meet but its really difficult.now he's ignoring me becoz accordng to him its useless 2 continue dis relationship.its really hurtng me.i wanna marry him.i cant live widout him.plzzz help me. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 April 2012):
 I agree if he really wanted to be with you that he would move heaven and earth to do so.
Meeting online is lovely but it has to progress to being together in real life….
If you must meet him (and get your closure) and he is willing (if he is not responding to you then you have your closure and just have to accept it) why not meet in a neutral location not India and not Pakistan but rather some other third country.
Also you CAN live without him and YOU really don’t know him and don’t want to marry him… you THINK you do but trust me…. you don’t know him
To be honest it sounds like he is using the ‘it’s difficult to get a visa” line as an excuse. Keep your dignity do not beg…. Let him go.
A
female
reader, answerfromtheheart +, writes (8 April 2012):
 I don't think you really need to clear up anything. If a man wants a woman, he goes after her no matter what it takes.
If he doesn't want to do what ever it takes to be with her, than he will never value you the way you are supposed to be valued, even if you guys end up together.
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A
female
reader, eram +, writes (7 April 2012):
eram is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanx every ONE for YOUR advice.but i WANT TO meet him once to clear out if he's really interested on me or not?i m planng to talk TO him face to face on skype to let it clear after my examination.
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (7 April 2012):
 The guy has made his feelings clear; he is not interested so there is no point trying to force the issue on him to recontinue this relationship.
It will hurt alot not being with him.
So you need to be with people who support you and your feelings. You need to heal and get over these feelings.
You never met him; and real life is often different from someone you speak to over net.
You've fallen for an "idea" not he/himself with all his human flaws in your face.
You also cannot marry someone you dont fully know unless you have a death wish.
Try to put it into perspective and move on.
Its not easy but keep yourself surrounded by support, in time you will heal.
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A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth +, writes (7 April 2012):
 It's nearly impossible for Indians and Pakistanis to visit each other because of visa restrictions so all you can do is meet in a neutral country. But I'll have to ask you to be careful and think about this many times because of the following reasons:
1) You haven't met. You have to meet regularly in order to know whether this relationship has a future and that will be difficult for visa reasons. Meeting regularly in a third country will be expensive for both of you and you're only 18.
2) Because of animosity between the two countries, neither his family nor yours will accept such a relationship. You have to be prepared to throw away everything you have for this guy. But will he do the same for you? I doubt it because he's already begun ignoring you. If a guy's into it for the long haul, he finds a way and doesn't give up. I don't think he's as interested as you are.
3) You're both very young and I'm not sure whether you have independent careers and means of living.
4) Assuming you're a Hindu, let me reiterate that there is a lot of hostility against Indians in Pakistan. Even if you manage to land up there, you will live a life of ridicule and condemnation.
5) And being a lawyer, I can tell you that getting an Indo-Pakistani couple married is a feat that few legal experts can pull off...it's THAT difficult.
I know you won't back off simply because I'm telling you to do so. But I have a feeling that this guy will chicken out and leave you with a broken heart. I hope I'm proved wrong and I wish all the best. Please keep us updated about the situation.
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A
female
reader, answerfromtheheart +, writes (7 April 2012):
You are experiencing strong feelings for someone you met through typing. You have an idea of him that you built in your head. It happens to all of us when we meet someone on line. But please don't suffer with the thoughts that he is the last man on earth you want to be with. There will be others, who will not think that a relationship is of NO Use if there are obstacles involved.
By ignoring you he proved to you that he is not worthy of your love or attention. He is not willing to go through obstacles to be with you. Do you really want that kind of a husband? Imagine your future with such a man. A man you want to be your husband will go through fire and swim through oceans for you, because making you happy is the only thing that is important in his life. That's the kind of man you want.
Don't worry, let him go. Understand that you deserve someone better than that.
Love will come again.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 April 2012):
 you have never even met this man in real life, for all you know maybe he just wants a visa in to your country. You cannot say you love him when you do not even know him, your relationship has been based on technology, internet, phone calls ect. He is right to call this off. At the end of the day he might be a totally different person face to face and you say you want to marry him without ever even meeting him? If you want to meet him fair enough but take it slow and get to know him face to face. Something tells me this is not going to happen if he has giving up so you need to move on sweetie and find someone else.
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