| Latest articles: The Cheater's Badge
No replies yet... 27 April 2016: Can you ever forgive me? Will you ever believe me? I swear it, I love you. It was not you, it really is me-my fault. How could I ever tell you about it all? I love you because you remind about the best I have within myself. I can laugh with you. You ...
The Art of Arguing. What helps you to resolve issues in your relationship?
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 May 2015: There's a song by Ne-Yo that absolutely cracks me up now whenever I hear it. "When You're Mad" talks about how sexy it is when your partner gets angry and more than implies the joys and benefits of make-up sex! Deep within my nature, I do hav...
Jack and Jill Are Crushing
No replies yet... 28 August 2011: Jack thought Jill was hot. She wore short, jean skirts with leggings underneath. She had nice legs. Her shirts were always nicely filled and her lips looked very...lush. She was smart too. Really cool. Jill though Jack was cute. He was funny, h...
Nice Guys
This question has 22 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 June 2011: Nice guys- a lot of us have overlooked them, rejected them, or simply ignored them. Then, we become interested and they're married. So, it's like a chick flick scene where a pretty girl tells her nice guy admirer that he's too much like a brother ...
Virginity
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
7 November 2010: Every time I see a sex question posted by a young girl 13-15, I cringe and tell myself, "Don't you dare read this." Myself stubbornly refuses to listen, blows me a raspberry, and reads on - hell is sometimes unleashed. The questions which affect me ...
A Glimpse into Love
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
10 October 2010: I'm the kind of girl who goes around barefoot, fights pessimism daily, and has thoughts wild enough to graze with antelope. I've heard love on the radio- songs that sigh heartbreak or gush with joy at finding someone who truly grasped their he...
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I feel betrayed and devastated that my husband is regularly visiting a brothel. What are my options to deal with my hurt?
Q. after 6 years of marriage I feel everything is falling apart! and I am completely devastated .. My husband is having an adultery, he is a regular brothel visitor. we got married after years of crazy deep love and commitment, now we are married for ...
A. 13 June 2016: I am so sorry you are going through this and no loving mother wants to put their child through a divorce but in this case, I don't think you have another choice. He had lied to you for years and spent money that could have gone towards making you ... (read in full...)
His mother uses foul language and my boyfriend say I need thicker skin!
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend (24) and I have been together for about 7 years. His mother never truly liked me. She told him I was ugly from the get go and expressed her jealousy in vicious ways. It is only until recently that she started warming ...
A. 11 June 2016: Wow. I wouldn't much like this either. It's not about thick skin but rather, respect. Now, people all over the world have different views on humor, but I have not yet ran into culture where uncalled for insults to another person was funny. My ... (read in full...)
Has anyone been in a lasting relationship where there was an age difference?
Q. When I was 28 I was in a 4.5 year relationship with a younger girl, she was only 18 when we started dating. We had a son together and when our son was 18 months old she said she made a mistake settling down with me and wanted to experience her yout...
A. 10 June 2016: Yes, these relationships can last and do. Maturity does step in eventually and it seems that she does care for you. One note of caution: take things slowly. In the bliss of being reunited, both of you might want to rush into marriage etc but don't. ... (read in full...)
Why can't he see the potential I can see for our relationship?
Q. OK there's this guy i was seeing for about a month I'm not going to lie and tell u it was amazing or anything but we got on great we always had a laugh and he always went on about how much he liked me and we even spoke about a future together. so ...
A. 8 June 2016: Well, I think the best thing to do is cross him off as a potential relationship and move on. HoneyPie said it all. He's not mature and the excuse that living 25 minutes away is "too far" is just that, an excuse. He probably just wants a friends with ... (read in full...)
Have I ruined things by telling this girl that I'm autistic? And inviting her to have coffee? Things are now awkward between us
Q. I told a girl at work who I'm friends with. That I'm autistic and that I sometimes find it difficult to communicate people with people and to read people for example. Before I did a very stupid and foolish thing by asking if she wanted to meet for...
A. 6 June 2016: I know this is easier said than done but don't overthink things so much :) Asking her for coffee wasn't stupid or foolish, you like her and want to progress the friendship to hanging out outside of work. If she feels uncomfortable because you told ... (read in full...)
We have a child yet he won't commit
Q. Hi everyone I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now we have a 1 yr old daughter the problem is that as far as our relationship is going to go he wants no more children and marriage he won't even discuss he says he scared I've asked him about ...
A. 5 June 2016: Well. There could be a lot of reasons but of course, he's not sharing them with you. Some men do feel threatened by the idea of marriage as they'll feel "trapped" or "owned" by their wife. Or they focus on the negatives of a divorce.
So, ask him,... (read in full...)
Enough is enough. Is walking away a solution? my adult son has mental health issues and my ex-husband does help with our son.
Q. Hi, I was married for many years and my ex-husband, although he does not live with me, spends a lot of time at my home to help me with our son, 24, who has always had a number of mental health issues and now drinks heavily. I am so depressed with...
A. 5 June 2016: Wow. This is a very tough situation. First off, I commend you for being such a hard-working mother and caring for your son. At 24 years old though, he needs to make more effort to be self-reliant. Is he on medication? Speaking with a psychiatrist? ... (read in full...)
What's the sexiest thing about your partner?
Q. What's the sexiest thing to you about your partner whether it be past/present/future. What do you find most attractive in someone else? ...
A. 25 May 2016: His eyes...I get weak knees ... (read in full...)
My parents forced us to breakup. Two months later what should I do?
Q. Hello all :) I am writing seeking some advice from you good people as I have been facing the pain of a breakup for the past 2.5 months now. I have become depressed and mentally unstable through all of this, but am working really hard to become m...
A. 19 May 2016: Hello dear, thank you for the explanation. It's sad that your parents thought to end such a relationship when to me, it doesn't seem so harmful. My first love and I were constantly in contact and once spent about 12hours on the phone lol I'm sad to ... (read in full...)
My parents forced us to breakup. Two months later what should I do?
Q. Hello all :) I am writing seeking some advice from you good people as I have been facing the pain of a breakup for the past 2.5 months now. I have become depressed and mentally unstable through all of this, but am working really hard to become m...
A. 18 May 2016: Why did your parents feel he was controlling?... (read in full...)
Why is he ignoring me? What would I need to do to win him back?
Q. I met a guy 9 years older than me through a dating site two months ago. We seem to have a lot in common. I only met him once because we live 45minutes away from each other and usually varsity work keeps me busy. The day I was going to meet him he t...
A. 29 April 2016: I have a feeling this won't work out...he's been borrowing money and not repaying people...red flag! Then there's this issue with the website...you sent him a text proclaiming love etc and he hasn't replied. I'd say drop it. Don't text, don't call. ... (read in full...)
I have a toxic mother.
Q. I have a toxic mother. Shes done a lot for me, but shes also damaged me a lot. Background: my mom is unhappy in her marriage. My dad bullies her. She does not make very much money, so she relies on my dad, and my dad takes full advantage of it. M...
A. 28 April 2016: Yes, she's toxic. Honey, you've done all you can AND more. I was raised in a similar culture where you respect your parents and are in a sense, expected to take care of them. But, it took me a very long time to realize this one amazing fact: I don't ... (read in full...)
I thought we were on the same page about a baby, but now he wants to go travelling.
Q. A year a go I found out I had pcos and it horrified me that I would never conceive. I spoke with my partner and said I don't really want to wait to try for a baby - I'm 24 so it wasnt unrealistic. A year later and all of a sudden my partner wants to ...
A. 28 April 2016: In this situation, he was wrong not to discuss having changed his mind with you. That's not fair. After ten years together, you deserve to be informed. Now, he says he wants to travel and see the world. That's fine. Is that something you want too? ... (read in full...)
Can someone help me to understand why I am feeling this way? I haven't told anyone, but I really want a baby.
Q. Hi im almost 14 and i really want to have a baby i love children my sister has 5 and there all babies i babysit them all the time. Their my world. I have a boyfriend but i havent told him or anyone about having a baby. I dont know why i feel like...
A. 27 April 2016: Hi! Don't worry, it's normal :) I was the same at fourteen, I could not wait! I thought of baby names, looked at the cute little clothes in the baby store and had daydreams about a little son or daughter. For now, be the best auntie you can! Enjoy ... (read in full...)
Does human love really exist? Do you really believe in love?
Q. My love life is not exciting at all,all relationships i have been involved they were nothing but heart breaking.I realized that that i was meant to love or dating for that matter. I will never love again. You give your all to your partner,but som...
A. 27 April 2016: I do believe in love. But, I don't believe in the fairy-tale idea anymore. The thing is: love comes with HUGE risk. I no longer believe in loving freely. I believe that a man should earn my love like I should earn his. When my heart first got ... (read in full...)
Tunnel vision positive thinking - used to your advantage
Q. Life is never perfect. Even people, who look like they have it easy, still have challenges. Maybe different challenges to people doing it much tougher, but challenges all the same. That's when it's much harder to feel positive. Even if we cou...
A. 27 April 2016: Wow. Great article! I love how you summed up the value of positive thinking. It's not about being oblivious but more about not allowing yourself to wallow in negativity. Thank you for posting! I needed a reminder :)... (read in full...)
My Bf has secretly been having sex with this woman for more than 6 years. Should he remain friends with her and her partner? I say no.
Q. My boyfriend has been friends with this couple for 20 years. They moved states away a long time ago. They email, talk and text Facebook always. I found out recently that he has been having sex with her for like 6+ years and they have secret ...
A. 27 April 2016: I think this is a train wreck. Honey, re-read your words: he cheated on you TWICE with this woman. You forgave him for his cheating TWICE. Now he's trying to tell you that it's not fair that he can't remain friends with her??! Unbelievable! He ... (read in full...)
How could people be so rude about my wedding?
Q. Hi, I don't know if I can post on here but I really need to vent and feel so upset. I got married in October and my husband and I were on a really tight budget, even though we had been saving for 2 years, making sacrifices and working every ext...
A. 12 April 2016: I'm so sorry you had to hear such hurtful things, luv. That was very unkind. But, don't let it get you down! My good friends got married in black jeans and a lovely (but Wal-mart bought) summer dress respectively. Sounds like a bad sitcom uh? lol We ... (read in full...)
He says my vagina is too loose and that I'm cheating
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend since i was 16 im 23 now. Our sex life has always been good but now he has been saying im too loose and he thinks im cheating on him, which im not!! I have been feeling the difference also but im not sure why my vagina is ...
A. 12 April 2016: Omg! I've heard of this happening, don't worry. His penis shrunk cause he's slowly but surely turning into a douche. There's a cure for this, but it might hurt him a bit since he'd have to admit to being an idiot. Vaginas change! Certain times of ... (read in full...)
I'm not ready to be engaged but I don't want to hurt my boyfriend and turn down his proposal
Q. So my bf of almost 2 years recently proposed to me. It's not that I wasn't happy to know that he feels so strongly about me, it's just that there's a few things keeping me from saying yes. I've been 'engaged' once before when I was younger. I u...
A. 10 April 2016: From his point of view: He must be feel hurt and rejected at the moment. Some men assume that women are after a marriage and family at all cost when this isn't always the case. I applaud you for being honest with yourself and with him. Relati... (read in full...)
Am I a woman who just can't help herself? I've fallen in love with a married man
Q. He is married, I have fallen so deeply in love with him I can't let go. My feeling is since we both can't and don't want to let go we should just ride the situation that we are in and see where it takes us. Every man who is single only wants to sl...
A. 1 April 2016: A married man is an unavailable man. I'm open minded where I believe that what works for some don't have to make sense to others. I believe in oily amorous relationships where you're bonded to more than one person and they are all willing to share... (read in full...)
Should my stepbrother and I date in secret? Our parents have told us that we can't.
Q. me and my step brother like eachother but my step mom and my dad have set us tow down and said we cant date but i want to know if we should date secertly or not ...
A. 29 March 2016: Well, the other Aunts have said it: it wouldn't be right. You're 16-17 right now and though there's an attraction there, it doesn't mean that you should pursue it :) I considered going out with a step-cousin (no blood relation) but then, I thought ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is unhappy that I'm watching porn so she retaliated by posting photos of herself on the internet!
Q. Ok I'll get straight to the point. Like most women my girlfriend hates porn. I told her when we got together that I didn't like it either, but recently she caught me watching it. We've now been together for 3 years. Needless to say she got really ...
A. 24 February 2016: I understand how your girlfriend might have felt hurt and betrayed by you viewing porn when you initially told her you didn't like it, but her attempt to get back you isn't the least bit ok. Some women do feel porn is in a sense, cheating... (read in full...)
My boyfriend expects me to pay for him!
Q. I'm confused. My current boyfriend with whom I'm in a LDR with for over a year seems to be the kind of guy who is used to his girlfriend buying him things and paying for things/meals. This is the first boyfriend (I've had 4 BFs) or guy I know that ...
A. 3 December 2015: This is really strange. I'm all for equality of the sexes but this isn't equal at all. I understand he's not financially well-off but I don't think it's appropriate to ask a girlfriend for help with finances in that way. I'm also concerned that he ... (read in full...)
How can I get past the fact that I'm not tall, improve my confidence and successfully date women?
Q. Ashamed to be a short man. I don't feel like I have the same potential as a taller man. Anything positive that I do would be much better if done by a taller man. I am also the shortest guy in my family and every time I meet a relative, family friend ...
A. 25 November 2015: If you focus too much on height, that's limiting yourself. Honestly, where I live, most men are 5'8 or under. Doesn't stop them :) they're out there flirting and charming ladies. Like the other Aunts said, it's about inner confidence. I once got ... (read in full...)
Physician's assistant - any suggestions on how to handle the gruelling demands of this work?
Q. Hey all! I'm quite confused about making career choices and really need some advice. I want to become a Physician Assistant with a focus in Psychology. It took me some time to figure it out but that's where I'd like to go. I enjoy helping pe...
A. 30 October 2015: Hi! Thank you for replying! Denizen, I know I can't cherry-pick, I commented on the difficulties I thought about to try and see if anyone had advice on how to better deal with it cause I am willing to sacrifice :) Tisha, thanks SO much for the ... (read in full...)
How do black people find positivity in a world that seems to hate them?
Q. I'm black and every week I come across a video or article that commentators summarize as "black people are savage, Africans are worthless and the worst thing on the planet". I want to know how other black people find positivity in a world that hates ...
A. 23 October 2015: I gotta tell you, I went through a lot of tough things because of my race. To this day, they still hurt. I couldn't change my race anymore than I could change the sky but that didn't matter to the cruel, ignorant people I came across. What helped ... (read in full...)
I'm not ready for sex until I'm sure he's the one! What do I do?
Q. I'm 22yrs in a relationship with a boy, who is ready to do anything for me and keep telling me he has gotten to his last bustop. He those ask me for sex But he is not pressuring me to give him my virginity and I'm scared of losing him because he ...
A. 19 October 2015: You've made a wonderful decision! :) Hon, he is pressuring you...pressure comes in all forms and constantly asking you and telling you it's not easy is pressure cause you then feel guilty for depriving him of something he's been "having before" and ... (read in full...)
I just found out my girlfriend of almost two years is MARRIED! Now what?
Q. Hey Aunts! I have been dating this wonderful younger woman for almost two years now. She is smart, ambitious, and beautiful and she is 10 years my junior. Our sex life has been amazing, but it was troubling in one way. She always pushed for o...
A. 8 October 2015: I'm sorry but write her off. Something about her "logic" is unsettling and in my opinion, she only has more heartache in store for you. For two years she has lied to you, led you to believe that you both had something real. To me, she's quite ... (read in full...)
Can we make this work? Is it a healthy or a toxic relationship?
Q. This relationship has me so confused that I can no longer think straight as the reality of what’s going on. I met my boyfriend about 3 years ago on an online dating website. We are both in our mid 20’s. We met each other after a week and he moved in ...
A. 30 September 2015: This is a toxic relationship. And they go in cycles of happy moments that take place within to toxicity to put doubt in your mind. It's like having mold on one end of bread and looking at the other end going: "Well, this dude isn't so bad, if I cut ... (read in full...)
How much do you have in common with your husband/fiancé/boyfriend?
Q. When I started dating my fiancé he told me all about the activities he did with his last girlfriend, such as them jogging together, bicycling and going to a concert. He told me the concert turned into a magical night for the both of them. The ...
A. 30 September 2015: I don't think your boyfriend exactly but he seems to be "haunted" by his ex. My ex and I were movie buffs and worked out together-but I can't bar those activities from my current relationship cause I did them with the ex. It'd be great if he could ... (read in full...)
Is this even a long distance relationship? How do I confront him about our complicated situation?
Q. BACKGROUND: Ok so there's this guy called E.(2 years older) I met him on a dating app while I'm on an overseas internship. We seem to chat alright online. However when we met, we're both socially awkward and it was hard to get a good co...
A. 28 September 2015: Right now, no. I see no opening for even a Long Distance Relationship. He said it himself. He wished you lived in his country but you do not. That's it. From what I see, he does like you and obviously the potential was there for something romantic ... (read in full...)
If she loved me then why would she have a baby with a man she no longer cared for?
Q. I worked closely with a female supervisor at my office. Very quickly we both fell in love. But she was married to a co-worker, who I got on with quite well. It was difficult because it was a small office and I'd just started there and knew if things ...
A. 14 September 2015: I think you did the right thing. It may hurt now cause you still have feelings but your actions will save you a lot of regret later. This woman has no respect for anyone. She went off the pill without telling her husband and basically forced ... (read in full...)
I want him to know I'm not too young to date
Q. I met this guy who is 26 I am 20. He's finishing up school becoming a lawyer and I just finished school. I went to Paul Mitchell a cosmetology school. I never really cared about the aged difference he's handsome and respects me that's all that ...
A. 5 September 2015: You do that by not making a big deal of it in the first place. You can't drink well trust me, there are more fun things out there than clubs and bars! If you want to build a relationship, let it be with memories of racing go-karts or surfing-not ... (read in full...)
I hit my wife. What can I do now to make her realize that I'm sorry?
Q. I need help. My wife and I have been in heated arguments near the beginning of our marriage (we're going on 6 years) which led to abuse. Both physical and emotional. I love her to death and can't imagine ever losing her, she is the best thing t...
A. 3 September 2015: There's no excuse for hitting another person-especially your spouse in anger. However, I see a positive in that you are asking for help. Look, your wife has deployed. Use the time the get Anger Management and Counseling help. Do this FOR YOU. Don't ... (read in full...)
Am I unusual for wanting to be dressed feminine ?
Q. what do most women think of men who like to wear female clothing? I curiously started wearing bras and panties way back in the 1960's when due to not having enough room in the bedroom shared by my two older sisters some of their clothes were stored ...
A. 24 August 2015: Well, from what I know, it's something most women are comfortable with. They're uncomfortable because for the most part, they don't understand. Me, I personally wouldn't care as long as it's not a sexual fetish. One of my male friends dresses up in ... (read in full...)
Should I give away my virginity to an online stranger?
Q. I have been holding out long enough. I am tired of dating guys that as of lately has led to nowhere (trust, I know when to exit the relationship-if you called that). I'm managing to stay focused on my career. Just received a promotion last week. Not ...
A. 24 August 2015: In two words: hell no!! Hon, I applaud you for working hard and gaining independence. Don't you think you deserve better than some horny goat whose out for a wham bam thank you ma'm? I'd stay clear of the Craigslist ads too...lots of weird people ... (read in full...)
Should I give away my virginity to an online stranger?
Q. I have been holding out long enough. I am tired of dating guys that as of lately has led to nowhere (trust, I know when to exit the relationship-if you called that). I'm managing to stay focused on my career. Just received a promotion last week. Not ...
A. 24 August 2015: In two words: hell no!! Hon, I applaud you for working hard and gaining independence. Don't you think you deserve better than some horny goat whose out for a wham bam thank you ma'm? I'd stay clear of the Craigslist ads too...lots of weird people ... (read in full...)
Has anyone suffered from abuse and had a hard time dating afterwards?
Q. I use to be in an incredibly abusive relationship and when I mean abusive I mean physically, sexually, mentally, and emotionally. I was young, idealistic, and in love ... I wanted to make things work. ... No matter the cost. Eventually, we d...
A. 21 August 2015: I've gone through something similar but actually, my first experience with this was through my father who I adored. He upset very easily and would yell, scream and throw things and terrify us but then, he'd be a wonderful father. It's strange but I ... (read in full...)
The Art of Arguing. What helps you to resolve issues in your relationship?
Q. There's a song by Ne-Yo that absolutely cracks me up now whenever I hear it. "When You're Mad" talks about how sexy it is when your partner gets angry and more than implies the joys and benefits of make-up sex! Deep within my nature, I do hav...
A. 30 May 2015: I felt the same! As a child, I would literally burst into tears when I heard loud, angry voices and I couldn't even have little spats with friends because they made me nervous. It's taken me time to develop being assertive and at times, I still ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was acting grumpy/irritable towards me so I went home. Now he's even more upset! Ideas?
Q. I feel so aggravated right now. I hope someone can give me some advice.My boyfriend and I have been dating a year. We have our fun times but he can be quite a bear to deal with at times. Very moody. I chalk it up too him working a swing shift. I am ...
A. 28 May 2015: Please pass him a pacifier cause yes, that is quite babyish! It's not fair of him to take out on aggravations on you-especially after a good day and a nice nap! You were right to leave him to his grumpiness, I would have done the same. What point is ... (read in full...)
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