| Latest articles: Gifts
No replies yet... 4 April 2018: This article is prompted by a question about take out soup. The OP felt slighted by her Boyfriend's offering. The subject is deeply symbolic, and crucial to a major love language and an important emotional need. The "Is the size of the take out ...
An old Uncle muses
No replies yet... 30 March 2017: My style of posting has been going through some changes and I thought I should share what's going on and why these changes. I'm rapidly moving into empty nest. I have 2 Daughters still living at home and they are both looking for their on place. ...
10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the cur10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the curbb
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
29 August 2014: Cindy wrote an excellent article:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ten-best-ways-for-a-woman-to-be.html I felt that the article needed a counterpoint for the guys. I've sure read about a lot of guys mistakes and while I'm sure I will miss some, he...
Rejection
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 October 2013: I just commented on a post by a guy who had a long history of rejection. The post tickled my memory all the way back to Junior High School (12 years of age). I was rejected a lot. I've got to say that out of the 15 or so girls in my class 10 ...
Wanted: Unattached Male
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 October 2010: I stumbled onto a news article online that has got me thinking. It was so much like a question here on "Dear Cupid". The author had just been through a breakup and was Writing advice based on her experience. She entitled the article something ...
Confessions of an Agony Uncle
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2009: On the 4th of November 2008 I signed up for a name and posted my first answer on this site. It was some quiet advice on career choices. Last night I posted my 100th. Just a bit of general advice on sex. In between I've gotten my ire up about ...
|
I worry I am just this woman's plaything.
Q. Been seeing someone for about four months for only one day a week, she don't have any more time for me, it's really good that one day a week, I told her I looked her up on Facebook, she got really mad an said not to do that again and block me, am I ...
A. 20 May 2020: Are you being used as a side bit? Are you the romantic fling? Is there something she is hiding from you?
The answer to these questions is probably yes.
You are under no obligation to stay. She has blocked you. You can block her too. ... (read in full...)
My partner's family never acknowledge my birthday
Q. Hi everyone, I am 63 and my guy is 65. We both own our own businesses, both fairly healthy. No children. We got together six years ago and both had no children from before. He lives with me in my house and they have often visited here and spent a ...
A. 14 May 2020: Like my wife you are a "keeper of days". Like your partners relatives, I am not. You are not likely to change their habits. You are doing a fine job of enforcing your partners observance, and that is about as far as your influence can and should ... (read in full...)
This guy I've met shares a house, and sometimes meals, with his ex wife.
Q. I have met someone He is divorced and has 3 grown children the youngest is 20 and still in college. The ex wife and he share a house he lives in the basement and she lives on the first floor. They sometimes share meals and when daughter comes home ...
A. 14 May 2020: You have my explicit permission to do better. You probably should have given yourself that permission.... (read in full...)
Gentlemen, how many likes do you get on dating apps?
Q. As the title of my post asks - how many Likes does the average male homo sapien get from women on dating apps? A few months ago my sister helped me create an online dating profile. She helped take my profile photos, reviewed my profile and then...
A. 13 May 2020: NONE... (read in full...)
Is it ok to talk to two people at once on online dating?
Q. Hi all, I have had a rough few years and have abstained from the dating scene during this period in part because of a breakup that took me a long time to get over. My life currently doesn't allow me to meet new people often so I decided to try...
A. 4 May 2020: I frequently advise young people to date many people at once. That is because at that age they are not considering marriage, just social (non sexual) dating. You are twice that age. but the truth is when I was 16 I couldn't date more than one at ... (read in full...)
I moved out because I didnt feel safe, landlords are asking me to come back.
Q. Hi people. I moved out of a property 2 months ago due to the owner's adult kid harassing me. He made false accusations against me and was going through something at the time. I never made a big deal of the situation but I avoided talking to him. I ...
A. 27 April 2020: No. Don't go back.
My understanding is that your rent was paid up when this happened. I also understand that the adult son had been acting unusually.
It just doesn't sound safe to me.
Seeking immediate cash.
An area with few available re... (read in full...)
I never told my husband that I had an abortion. I am afraid he'll divorce me if he finds out
Q. I did not tell my husband that I was pregnant and I had an abortion behind his back. I am now very scared to tell him. I think he will divorce me and I am very worried. Does anybody has advice on how I can save my marriage. It was partly a health ...
A. 27 April 2020: Trust is the "stuff" that relationships are made up of. How did you get to the altar with a man you can't trust?
My only advice to you at this point is to be totally truthful with him. Trust is made up of promises made and kept. If you want to b... (read in full...)
I don't like his creepy behaviour
Q. There is a guy I met 3 years and I thought he could have been a potential suitor. Recently I have started to become aware of things that I do not like about him. Before the lockdown he would spend hours a day on Facebook. He has nearly 2000 like...
A. 15 April 2020: So block him. simple.
But the real issue here is that you have tolerated his poor behavior for three years before it dawned on you that he wasn't what you want.
Why?... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to want specific things out a person you are dating?
Q. Hello Aunt's and Uncle, I havent been on the site for a long time, and for a long time I thought I was content. Its been 2 years or maybe even more since I broke up with my Long Term College Girlfriend, I dated a bit after but havent found a g...
A. 13 April 2020: So, Why is it that you are dating people that you aren't compatible with? is your picker broken? Are you meeting people at the wrong kind of place? Are you attracting the wrong type? is there something about your appearance that says hey I like ... (read in full...)
He treats me like a queen but we are incompatible sexually! Should I stay with him?
Q. I met my current bf a few years after my divorce( with my hs sweetheart and first) and after a rebound relationship. I found him to be the sweetest guy( very polite, helpful, responsible and very attentive) After dating for a couple of years( and ...
A. 4 April 2020: It would probably be better if you didn't kill him.... (read in full...)
He treats me like a queen but we are incompatible sexually! Should I stay with him?
Q. I met my current bf a few years after my divorce( with my hs sweetheart and first) and after a rebound relationship. I found him to be the sweetest guy( very polite, helpful, responsible and very attentive) After dating for a couple of years( and ...
A. 2 April 2020: He has never said "I love you"? And you dated him for years? And you moved in with him?
The evidence indicates that he won't be saying it.... (read in full...)
I'm considering what I want for my wedding considering everything going on in the world
Q. Hello, Where to start? As we all know the world is in the middle of a crisis pandemic. It has really made me reconsider how much money we're spending on our wedding in 2022. We've only booked the hotel but this alone is £7000. This crisis has...
A. 31 March 2020: My sincere advice, as a married man, father of Daughters, and veteran of weddings, is simply this. Having a big beautiful wedding is not very important compared to having a big beautiful marriage. In fact people would be much happier if they put ... (read in full...)
I kicked the cheater out, but miss what we once had.
Q. I kicked my boyfriend of 10 years out 6 months ago because I found out he’d been having an affair with someone from work. It wasn’t just an affair. He had been leading a double life for the 5 months that the affair went on for. Everyone in their wo...
A. 19 March 2020: I'm a bit lazy on this one. This is the truth hard and fast.
IF you take him back, You will still "miss what we once had". Because that is dead and gone. Affairs kill relationships.... (read in full...)
Would it be stupid to move across the country to be near in-laws?
Q. Hey I believe my mother in law doesn't like me even though my husband says she does. We were supposed to move across the country to live closer to them but now I'm not so sure I want to. Some background info I'm white my husband is Mexican,...
A. 19 March 2020: No, this is not a good idea. It's not just the language. You don't understand the culture or the religion. Until you can understand all of that you should not live that close.
Living in his home town would get you that education in a very unpl... (read in full...)
I have a hard time believing anything my b/f says. Should I break up?
Q. Hi, I’m writing this in regards to my current relationship, the question is (Should I let him go?) My current boyfriend and I have been together for almost 8 months now. In the very beginning he did cheat on me, we had a fall out and he begged f...
A. 19 March 2020: I also considered replying to Male Reader, Anonymous (MRA). I'm just not sure how well the advice fits the situation. There is some truth to what he said. There is also some falsehoods.
Truth: If you were to cheat on existing boyfriend you woul... (read in full...)
How would I go about finding a lady to help me dress up?
Q. as a boy I was fond of silky dresses my mother wore. when I was 6 I dressed up in them and also my two sisters clothing.i loved the feel of smooth fabrics. I wore my sisters school knickers and the feelings as I pulled them up.as an elderly man I ...
A. 18 March 2020: Well if you have money to throw around. A urologist and a family law lawyer would be the logical first steps. I'm really more understanding than I'm coming off.
If marital sex is nil because of erection insufficiency, then the implant is the ... (read in full...)
I have a hard time believing anything my b/f says. Should I break up?
Q. Hi, I’m writing this in regards to my current relationship, the question is (Should I let him go?) My current boyfriend and I have been together for almost 8 months now. In the very beginning he did cheat on me, we had a fall out and he begged f...
A. 13 March 2020: I take back my last statement, you are afraid of letting go. or really you are conflict avoidant. I encourage you to work on that as well so next time you won't have to ghost someone.... (read in full...)
I have a hard time believing anything my b/f says. Should I break up?
Q. Hi, I’m writing this in regards to my current relationship, the question is (Should I let him go?) My current boyfriend and I have been together for almost 8 months now. In the very beginning he did cheat on me, we had a fall out and he begged f...
A. 12 March 2020: Thanks for the follow up. You are not afraid to let go (dump him). you are afraid of being alone. See Code warriors post.... (read in full...)
I have a hard time believing anything my b/f says. Should I break up?
Q. Hi, I’m writing this in regards to my current relationship, the question is (Should I let him go?) My current boyfriend and I have been together for almost 8 months now. In the very beginning he did cheat on me, we had a fall out and he begged f...
A. 11 March 2020: Sorry your follow up was posted after our replies. I'm not sure how to integrate it into my advice. Most abusive partners are sweet some of the time. Look up signs of an unhealthy relationship.... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't stand up for me, and it hurts
Q. So, this may be a stupid thing to be upset about, and feel free to tell me if it is. My husband and I have been married for five years, and I don't feel like he ever stands up for me to other people. By "other people," I mean his family. For the ...
A. 11 March 2020: I appreciate that my wife has never needed me to referee her family interactions. I like that she is capable of defending herself. I love the fact that she scrupulously avoids putting herself between me and my clan.
Now at one point my gran... (read in full...)
I have a hard time believing anything my b/f says. Should I break up?
Q. Hi, I’m writing this in regards to my current relationship, the question is (Should I let him go?) My current boyfriend and I have been together for almost 8 months now. In the very beginning he did cheat on me, we had a fall out and he begged f...
A. 11 March 2020: I'm going to give you a completely different answer with the same conclusion.
1 you didn't forgive him. You rug swept it. The problem is still there just barely under the surface. You allowed him to get away with it, and now you have self sham... (read in full...)
Can anyone from Texas recommend the best places to go?
Q. Me and my best friend are planning a trip to Texas this weekend for May. It’s always been a dream of my to visit Texas and now I finally have the time. However I’m having trouble deciding between Austin and Houston became Ive been hearing mixed ...
A. 10 March 2020: I'm flying to houston soon. First thing I plan on doing is getting out of town.
Going to Corpus Christi.
... (read in full...)
My husband walked out on me after a fight and doesn't care that we don't have money or care about us
Q. I am feeling so hurt and my hear aches so much. My husband and I were good on Friday and later Friday night, he was out with his brother and sister drinking. He came home after 2am drunk and we had an argument... I told him it is best we go our ...
A. 9 March 2020: Thanks for the follow ups.
I only have a little to add. Don't let your love blind you to the effects of addiction or abuse. ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to kiss a single mom on the 2nd date?
Q. I started dating a single mother recently. I am 21, unmarried and without she is 39 and has a 3 year old daughter. She is awfully sweet and nice and suggested a second date soon -- so a second date is on the cards very soon. So do you think it is ok...
A. 9 March 2020: We need a lot more information.
There is just nothing here to base any decision on.
What is your dating /kissing / sexual history?
What is hers?
Why did she have to suggest a second date?
Now for the warning part. At your ages there is a sign... (read in full...)
My husband walked out on me after a fight and doesn't care that we don't have money or care about us
Q. I am feeling so hurt and my hear aches so much. My husband and I were good on Friday and later Friday night, he was out with his brother and sister drinking. He came home after 2am drunk and we had an argument... I told him it is best we go our ...
A. 2 March 2020: OP says, " He came home after 2am drunk and we had an argument... I told him it is best we go our separate ways."
As a cautionary tale this is a very important point. When you say things like this, When you make ultimatums, you need to be prep... (read in full...)
He treats me like a queen, but has an appetite for other women, should I leave him ?
Q. Hello I'm 30 years old. Been with my bf for six years he's 32 years old. He's good to me, he's affectionate, loving, kind, considerate, charming etc. I just moved in with him in his parents home,I know what it sounds like, I was going through some ...
A. 27 February 2020: when you find a guy who will really treat you like a queen, he will offer you your own castle, and it won't take nim six years to buy a ring. You need a better experience so you can raise your expectations.
BTW I agree with honey, this guy has ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has had more sexual partners than I am comfortable with. How can I find a way to accept this?
Q. I'm struggling with the number of sex partners my boyfriend has had before meeting me. I've only been with one other man besides him and that was my ex husband. My bf has had sex with way more people than I have. But he says his morals and values ...
A. 25 February 2020: Here is the deal. You were open and transparent, he was not. Now you say this, "I'm not feeling safe in this relationship right now." Well of course you are not. He told you as much as he was able to tell you without losing you.
Now years down... (read in full...)
I need tips on how to overcome nerves.
Q. In the past year Ive started to become interested in comedy and without sounding too big headed lots of people say im funny and witty etc . one of the things I like about myself is my humour , I enjoy knowing I am making people laugh and happy ...
A. 21 February 2020: I went back onstage at 54. Haven't acted since high school. Honestly, you have so much to worry about with your timing, your attire, your delivery that you won't get the shakes til you walk off stage. At least I didn't. if course acting is ... (read in full...)
I'm broken from a cycle of cheating and being cheated on.
Q. My long term bf cheated on me few yrs ago so I had a revenge affair. it only brought misery and guilt to me when I found out my ‘affair partner’ is a serial womanizer. I broke up the affair 8 months ago but I’m not able to let go. Also I want to ...
A. 21 February 2020: I don't honestly believe in blissfully unaware. But in this case I agree with all of the rest of the advice you have been given. (except that bit about being swept away)
This is something you are going to have to face alone. No more revenge unti... (read in full...)
The ex that likes to text with a kiss
Q. Broke up with my ex last year in October he says he doesn't know what he wants anymore but still texts me with kisses what does this mean? ...
A. 17 February 2020: Of course you miss him, it's valentines weekend. Tell us how you feel later on this week.
In the meantime think about what you want and need in a relationship. Make sure you don't settle for another unsatisfactory partner. Take your time and ... (read in full...)
Is casual sex that much better than relationship sex? If so, how can a woman in a long term relationship ever compete?
Q. What's so good about casual sex? How does it differ from sex in relationships? And why would people risk a long term relationship for casual sex? Is a stranger or someone who doesn't care that much better in bed? How can a woman in a long term ...
A. 17 February 2020: Because I'm demisexual, I don't do casual sex so a great deal of your question I can't answer. But you asked about competing.
Ellen Kreidman wrote that women continuously compare. They compare the gifts, time, thought, smiles, looks that they... (read in full...)
I'm feeling guilty because for 2 years my married LDR lover has thought I am dead
Q. I am separated with 3 children, in short, I am a single mother. My story is...I had a long-distance affair with a married man from 2006 to 2017. I met him once in Hongkong and Our relationship was wonderful but also painful. I love him a lot but ...
A. 6 February 2020: If you truly want to stop your insanity, the path is clear. You have already been told to tell the truth. What you haven't been told is how to do it.
First, you collect all of the money he is sending. Write a check or get a cashiers check for ... (read in full...)
The ex that likes to text with a kiss
Q. Broke up with my ex last year in October he says he doesn't know what he wants anymore but still texts me with kisses what does this mean? ...
A. 4 February 2020: Oh so you want him back, even after our warnings. Well make sure you take him back only on your terms. Your Non-negotiable, Unalterable Terms.
Hold On to Your N.U.T.s: The Relationship Manual for Men Paperback – April 1, 2007
by Wayne M. Levin... (read in full...)
The ex that likes to text with a kiss
Q. Broke up with my ex last year in October he says he doesn't know what he wants anymore but still texts me with kisses what does this mean? ...
A. 3 February 2020: "this" means that he still has no boundaries.
Block
No contact
180... (read in full...)
My fiance is feeling insecure after a burn accident. How can I help him?
Q. My fiance has always been self-conscious about his acne. Bad days are occasional, but they do happen, and it causes him social anxiety. A few months ago, he was in an accident that burned his arm, chest, and face, and it has affected how he looks. ...
A. 1 February 2020: Your fiance has already told you what he needs from you. You don't want to give it to him. You should resolve this issue long before any further entanglement.
I would not advise him to marry you at all.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't know what's expected in a relationship.
Q. Hi, What do I do if my boyfriend (Who is an adult.) was never been taught anything about woman/Being in a romantic relationship/ Has never had any experience in a relationship? Details: (Dating for 5 months, I'm his first relationship) My boyfrie...
A. 31 January 2020: So what is it about him that attracts you?... (read in full...)
I just need another person's perspective on boyfriend's attitude when we are gaming.
Q. Hello everybody. I would like peoples honest opinions on the way my partner sometimes speaks to me, as I feel he could be more tactful with his words sometimes. I will give one recent example from the other night. We were playing a two player g...
A. 28 January 2020: I think that recreational companionship is a strong emotional need for many men. I think that you are not filling this niche for him. This is pretty common from both sides. men and women both have trouble finding a partner who can hit all the ... (read in full...)
Is he normal? He says he doesn't want to sleep with me right now.
Q. I had a date last night with an amazing guy! We went out for drinks, ice cream, and to browse books at the local bookstore. After that, he invited me back to his place to play chess. We didn't get to play because we were too busy talking but then he ...
A. 27 January 2020: Chess on the first date that has to be 1 in 50 or less. Based on that alone I'd say he is unusual.
It's amazing how much better unusual sounds than abnormal. An even better word would be interesting. Interesting is the number one thing a guy ... (read in full...)
Female 15 year older than male relationship can it work?
Q. I am looking for advice about big age gap relationships and if they can work. I've started to see a guy 15 years younger than me, (2 week) were taking it slow and havent slept together yet. Weve spoken about quietly seeing each other to see if there ...
A. 26 January 2020: Thank you. Best of luck with the relationship. I don't see any insurmountable problem. ... (read in full...)
Female 15 year older than male relationship can it work?
Q. I am looking for advice about big age gap relationships and if they can work. I've started to see a guy 15 years younger than me, (2 week) were taking it slow and havent slept together yet. Weve spoken about quietly seeing each other to see if there ...
A. 25 January 2020: How is the power structure in your relationship. Can either of you safely veto a decision? ... (read in full...)
Female 15 year older than male relationship can it work?
Q. I am looking for advice about big age gap relationships and if they can work. I've started to see a guy 15 years younger than me, (2 week) were taking it slow and havent slept together yet. Weve spoken about quietly seeing each other to see if there ...
A. 25 January 2020: How is the power structure in your relationship. Can either of you safely veto a decision? ... (read in full...)
Female 15 year older than male relationship can it work?
Q. I am looking for advice about big age gap relationships and if they can work. I've started to see a guy 15 years younger than me, (2 week) were taking it slow and havent slept together yet. Weve spoken about quietly seeing each other to see if there ...
A. 23 January 2020: My wife is almost exactly 7 months younger than me and She plays the been there done that card on me all the time.
There is a lot more to a person than age.
You are a lot closer to the 17 - 32 situation than you think you are. Those laws are... (read in full...)
| *atherly Advice's friends
These are mutual friends, so *atherly Advice has
added them and they have added *atherly Advice!
|
