New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244947 questions, 1084259 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*atherly Advice agony aunt

*atherly Advice

United States  (Male   XML/RSS

Like what he writes?
... Add *atherly Advice to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *atherly Advice a private message

*atherly Advice's Ratings

Rating: 7.93

Excellent73%
Average7%
Poor19%
*atherly Advice's profile:

.

Latest articles:

Gifts

No replies yet...

4 April 2018: This article is prompted by a question about take out soup. The OP felt slighted by her Boyfriend's offering. The subject is deeply symbolic, and crucial to a major love language and an important emotional need. The "Is the size of the take out ...

An old Uncle muses

No replies yet...

30 March 2017: My style of posting has been going through some changes and I thought I should share what's going on and why these changes. I'm rapidly moving into empty nest. I have 2 Daughters still living at home and they are both looking for their on place. ...

10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the cur10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the curbb

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

29 August 2014: Cindy wrote an excellent article:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ten-best-ways-for-a-woman-to-be.html I felt that the article needed a counterpoint for the guys. I've sure read about a lot of guys mistakes and while I'm sure I will miss some, he...

Rejection

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

21 October 2013: I just commented on a post by a guy who had a long history of rejection. The post tickled my memory all the way back to Junior High School (12 years of age). I was rejected a lot. I've got to say that out of the 15 or so girls in my class 10 ...

Wanted: Unattached Male

This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

22 October 2010: I stumbled onto a news article online that has got me thinking. It was so much like a question here on "Dear Cupid". The author had just been through a breakup and was Writing advice based on her experience. She entitled the article something ...

Confessions of an Agony Uncle

This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

13 April 2009: On the 4th of November 2008 I signed up for a name and posted my first answer on this site. It was some quiet advice on career choices. Last night I posted my 100th. Just a bit of general advice on sex. In between I've gotten my ire up about ...

< Prev1234567891011Next > [70 pages, 2749 answers]

What is proper?

Q.   Is it right to use love letter to approach a girl at first ?...

A.   19 April 2022: Nope, it's going to freak her out. Get to know her in a open social setting first before declaring love.... (read in full...)

Am getting social blowback admitting my virginity

Q.   For this anonymous letter I am Calvin and my girlfriend is Susie. Like the real Calvin and Susie from the Calvin and Hobbes cartoons, Susie and I have always lived in the same neighborhood. Unlike the cartoon Calvin, I have always liked girls and ...

A.   19 April 2022: Hi Calvin, having a good look at your relationship, I think you are doing very well. It is age and religion appropriate, with one exception. Suzie should not be hanging out at basketball practice. Your Coach is right there, you should be conc... (read in full...)

My girlfriend's brother is a problem

Q.   I have been seeing my partner for almost 2 years, and our conversation is now turning to moving in together. We both have our own houses and the plan is that I will move in hers and rent mine out. Decision based in part on her work commute, I work ...

A.   12 April 2022: I'm seriously worried about the coownership lie. It is a very good thing that your gF and his Fiancé' had that chat. It could leave him in a heap of trouble, but I have little sympathy. When ytou hang your hopes on a big lie, sooner or later the ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend's brother is a problem

Q.   I have been seeing my partner for almost 2 years, and our conversation is now turning to moving in together. We both have our own houses and the plan is that I will move in hers and rent mine out. Decision based in part on her work commute, I work ...

A.   5 April 2022: Your girlfriend of less than 2 years, wants to wait 1.5 years more to move in together. That sounds like she is not interested in moving in together. What you need to do is believe what she is showing you by her actions. When you have acce... (read in full...)

My boyfriend says he’s not bothered that I cheated, is he just playing mind games?

Q.   I told my boyfriend last week that I cheated on him and he didn’t get upset or angry, or even seem the slightest bit bothered at all. Ever since he’s just carried on as normal and says we should just forget about it and move on. Now I can’t tell if ...

A.   25 March 2022: At my age and stage of life I have mixed feelings about this. I'm going to throw out a few ideas and ask you a serious what if. 1. Cheating is everywhere and happens all the time. 2. If we want to be at peace in life we have to forgive. 3.... (read in full...)

Anxiety from someone else's energy

Q.   I am genuinely really struggling so please only supportive answers. Bit of background. So there is a public figure, kind of celebrity – small celebrity, up and coming type – that I admire. (They will be left unnamed, I will just Callthem D) This sta...

A.   18 March 2022: "please only supportive answers." "I already feel silly and ridiculous so please no nasty comments." What kind of nasty or unsupportive comment could we make about your story? Sure it's a bit unusual, but really many people suffer from generali... (read in full...)

How do I act in front of my crush?

Q.   Okay so I have a crush on this boy. He is very extremely cute and I can't stop thinking about him!!! And it's like love at first sight!!! I think having a boyfriend or a relationship at age 10-11 is not the right age (it might be). But he has a ...

A.   14 March 2022: I'm going to take the other Tack. I'm going to assume you are 10 - 11. There is a phenomenon that starts at that age and runs to about 13. We could call it he cootie / cutie dichotomy. In the beginning the girls start thinking the boys are ... (read in full...)

I am concerned about the big move to Chicago my husband wants to make

Q.   Me and my husband are retired, my husband retired in January 2020, pre-COVID, and I retired in February 2020. I'm 61 and he's 63. We have twin daughters who are 34. We live in Texas, one of the big cities there. He was a businessman who ...

A.   14 March 2022: Good theatre. Highest rate of gun crime in the US.... (read in full...)

Should we end it?

Q.   Hi all, I've been with my partner almost 2 years (2years in may) we are both 38. I have a 4 year old boy from a previous relationship. He has no kids. I've made it known to him that I would take our relationship to the next level. I.e living t...

A.   9 March 2022: You can't inspire a happy person to change. He likes where his life is. Shacking up does nothing for him. It gives him responsibility for another mans kid. It ties down his after work schedule 7 days a week. As you put it, it intertwines him ... (read in full...)

It's been so many years and this guy still continues to pursue me.

Q.   I met this guy in 2014 at an academic international conference. We were both representing our country in our respective disciplines. I was in a deadbeat relationship at that time and this guy was married. We hit it off really well and at time at ...

A.   8 March 2022: I want to go a bit further than Kenny, Kenny said, "in my opinion he has got some sort of problem." Let's talk about what that problem might be. He might have a substance problem. The first disturbing message sounded a lot like a drunk text. H... (read in full...)

How to be a good sport about ROTC hazing

Q.   Dear Sir or Ma'am: I need interpersonal relations advice about how to be a good sport and fit in with the Navy midshipmen in my ROTC program. They are hazing me in what I consider a mostly harmless and somewhat humorous way, but I secretly am sort ...

A.   8 March 2022: Hazing is never appropriate. Document and report. Working out with midshipmen will just make you soft. You need a better group.... (read in full...)

Foster Parents Nice But Awkward

Q.   Hello smart people. I need to have some advice. I understand not to use real names so I will use fake names that are close or maybe real but you don't know. LOL Me = Miguel. Foster Dad = Shawn. Foster Mom = Sarah. Foster Brother = Patrick. I have ...

A.   7 March 2022: Miguel you are one lucky kid. I come from an adopting family, and I really like what your foster parents are doing. They have loved and included you unconditionally. About the Latino cultural things, It would probably be best if you did talk to t... (read in full...)

He doesn't have a job. what should I do?

Q.   I need some relationship help? My fiancé and I have been together going on 6 years. He proposed to me when we were together only 6 months but I wanted to wait to get married to see how things would play out because I was in a previous relationsh...

A.   1 March 2022: I am still confused a bit about your post. I'm wondering about the total number of children you have, and who their father is. It seems that teenagers should be getting some child support . . . BUT It doesn't change the advice I would give you.... (read in full...)

Happily married but attracted to the Zumba instructor

Q.   Hi, so I'm in an uncomfortable situation because I'm married and I do love my husband very much, but I have developed a crush on someone else. My husband and I have been married for 7 years now and we still love each other so much. We have both ...

A.   24 February 2022: Personal trainers and fitness instructors make money by getting and keeping clients. In order to do that they have to be friendly, and interested in their clients. exercise creates feel good neuro transmitters in your body. you are wrongly asso... (read in full...)

The barmaid has accused me of harassment

Q.   I normally like to go down to a working mens club and play snooker with some of the members, sometimes they want to play other times they do not or can’t be bothered. anyway I’ll try not to make this long and try to make it sound as though it makes...

A.   18 February 2022: Time to find a new club. There is no way you can prove a negative. Her accusation will get respect with anyone, And, you don't really like the people there.... (read in full...)

Cheating at work, narcissist, manipulator gas lighter.

Q.   Met a guy at work, left my ex for him 5 years ago. guy at work had a reputation for being a womaniser. The whole time we were together never met his family, friends always hd separate christmases. End of 2018 he started another affair at work with ...

A.   15 February 2022: When you write his homework, do you use paragraphs?... (read in full...)

Frustrated at this friendship with no benefits

Q.   So there’s a guy I met through my cousin and we have been talking for a month but under the understanding that we would be FWB. I’m a 30 year old female and he is a 28 year old male. He has only had one partner and I’m a Virgin and tbh I just feel ...

A.   8 February 2022: 1, Please don't recycle your posts. We already read it. We already responded to it. You did a nice job of formatting and cleaning the original post. 2, You have an upside-down intimacy equation. I'm not sure equation is the right word. but you ... (read in full...)

How do I work through my dating anxiety?

Q.   I have been on several dates with a great guy. He is such a gentleman, thoughtful, kind, and I really feel like I can be myself around him and he truly likes me for me. I thought this is what I always wanted! The problem? I have a dating history o...

A.   6 February 2022: As a short man, The fact that the thought, "is he tall enough?" crossed your mind, is enough to send me packing. I don't need to be constantly questioned and doubted, and one thing is certain, I'm never going to grow taller. You need to get a gr... (read in full...)

Does my girlfriend have a crush on my friend?

Q.   Me n my gf was at family party at the weekend we was having fun drinking and dancing etc when i went to the bathroom and came back my gf and my friend had their arms around each other side cuddling in an intimate way his arm was over her shoulder ...

A.   6 February 2022: interpretation of events: It's probably not what it looks like, in fact it's probably a lot worse than it looks. Advice: At four months, Drop her like a hot potato. You can do way way better. Anyone could.... (read in full...)

What are the perks of moving in together?

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been dating for 11 months and has invited me to move in with her. I am thinking of it. We are both 26. Perhaps those who have moved in together can give some advice. What are the Perks of Moving in Together? Do most of you ...

A.   31 January 2022: One of the greatest "perks" of moving in is that you get to increase the intimacy of your relationship. For example you will never again wonder what her socks or her farts smell like. The second this is you get to have in depth conversations that ... (read in full...)

Should I let my teenaged daughter date?

Q.   I understand that girls will always be more mature than boys. Naturally, girls physically mature faster as they go through puberty earlier than their male counterparts. This brings me to my daughter who is a sophomore in high school. She is smart...

A.   31 January 2022: I like Youcannotbeserious' advice. I'll add a bit. Generally girls only think they are more mature, or rather they are really good at faking it. Next, This is not the boy she is going to marry. The odds are so far against it. But you don't ne... (read in full...)

Dont stay in troubled relationships

Q.   Hello, I was engaged, we were together until maybe 3 weeks ago. We were together about 5 years in total. It started out beautifully. He was charismatic, very sweet and loving. The last two years were terrible. Alot of emotional abu...

A.   31 January 2022: Good job creating and enforcing reasonable boundaries. It will be easier next time. The good news is that next time you need a boundary, you won't wait. And That is the key to happy relationships. ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my husband to have sex with other women?

Q.   Would it be stupid to let my husband have sex with other women because I never want it anymore? I’ve been through the menopause and it’s pretty much killed off my sex drive. For over 2 years I’ve had no sexual desires at all and to be honest the ...

A.   27 January 2022: It would be a much better idea to visit your doctor, and get some help. The second best option would be an amicable divorce. He is young enough to start over. The fact is Your husband is a stand up guy. And, Stand up guys don't sleep around on t... (read in full...)

Does my boyfriend need to set up boundaries with his ex?

Q.   Advice please Aunts and Uncles, I have being dating my older boyfriend for over 8 month. He has a 10 year old son who he sees every two weeks and all school holidays. His ex has now found out about me and now she’s demanding he has his son near...

A.   27 January 2022: Buy this book for your boyfriend. Hold On to Your N.U.T.s: The Relationship Manual for Men by Wayne M. Levine. It's available in paperback e book or audible. Tell him that if he want's to be a Man he needs to follow the advice in this book. T... (read in full...)

I want to experience first love in high school

Q.   high school is the time when I want to experience my first love. I want to feel these new feelings. Having my first kiss is something I want to experience with my bf in high school. I know it shouldn’t be rushed. I feel im ready and excited ...

A.   27 January 2022: " are there are some things i can do. . . ?" Continuous affirmative consent. Look it up and learn about it. Physical intimacy, is best when it is initiated in a solid relationship of emotional trust. This means talking, and sharing and talking ... (read in full...)

Is there anything my husband and I can do to help our sons?

Q.   I have two sons. John who is 39 years old and Rob who is 37 years old. I always thought that my sons were close. Rob is gay and has been officially together for 12 years (dating for five years, married for 7 years). But they have been friend...

A.   27 January 2022: Sounds a lot like making and enforcing healthy boundaries. We encourage people to do that.... (read in full...)

Does my boyfriend need to set up boundaries with his ex?

Q.   Advice please Aunts and Uncles, I have being dating my older boyfriend for over 8 month. He has a 10 year old son who he sees every two weeks and all school holidays. His ex has now found out about me and now she’s demanding he has his son near...

A.   20 January 2022: In short every relationship needs boundaries. I would suggest that the court appointed visitation schedule should be the first boundary. I'm assuming that in Canada there is one because your government seems very through. If the exceptions to ... (read in full...)

How do I fight what I feel when I set up boundaries towards others?

Q.   How do I fight the unpleasantness I feel when I need to: set boundaries, stand up for myself, say no... I've ALWAYS had this problem. I grew up with a single mother, who was a strong, smart and a funny woman. She was kind and loving and proud...

A.   20 January 2022: So it was her netting 1250 per month while living with you that finally put you over the edge. You are a generous person at heart. This is a good thing. You don't want to act as the judge of other people. This is also a good thing. I do ... (read in full...)

All his conversations revolve around money

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together about 6 months. He's obsessed with money. He believes he will be very rich and says it's in his DNA lol. However it disturbs me because that's all he thinks about. Most conversations revolve around money. ...

A.   20 January 2022: Apparently he doesn't understand how DNA works. Apparently he also doesn't understand how money works.... (read in full...)

I gave up my virginity long ago and have had guilt about it ever since

Q.   I lost my virginity a long time ago to someone I had only met that day. I have always blamed myself and been quite embarrassed about it but in no way felt victimised or assaulted. But recently it has been bothering me because I consented to a point ...

A.   19 January 2022: That sounds awful. I'm sorry you went through that. I agree things were blurred. A better person would have discussed birth control and your virginity before he took his pants off. Even if you were willing. But perhaps he was as inex... (read in full...)

Who is to blame for initiating the wife swap?

Q.   when a husband asks his wife if she would agree to a wife swap she then says no,then he asks again and she says she will think about it, and then decides she would do so knowing her yes would mean an almost certain swap would then happen. where ...

A.   18 January 2022: I don't know why I m back here it's kind of like a train wreck. Anyway You all haven't seen half of the story yet. I don't want to spoil the OP's chance to improve it with this telling. Who knows it may get even more bizarre. At the face of ... (read in full...)

Who is to blame for initiating the wife swap?

Q.   when a husband asks his wife if she would agree to a wife swap she then says no,then he asks again and she says she will think about it, and then decides she would do so knowing her yes would mean an almost certain swap would then happen. where ...

A.   18 January 2022: Dude, She faked it to get you off her back. You were completely set up. You are still an idiot. On both or more relationship forums. Learn how to capitalize, and put some space between sentences, and FFS change your name between sites.... (read in full...)

My SO upset that I look at my ex on social mediaa

Q.   Would you consider it a big issue if you’re significant other looked at their ex’s social media profile? My significant other is upset with me as he went through my phone and saw I searched an ex’s name on social media. I’m not in contact with them. ...

A.   16 January 2022: Honestly, what you are doing is how it starts. Yes, you did break trust. As a result he doesn't trust you. If you want the privacy to look up your ex, be single.... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend using me?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for about 4 years. First 2 years were very good. We got along most times a few disagreements, mostly over money. The last 2 years have been not good. He gets agitated, and annoyed easily with me. He asks for ...

A.   15 January 2022: What is your sexual frequency as a couple?... (read in full...)

Deep down I don't fancy him. Should I give him a chance anyway?

Q.   I’m torn as to whether or not I should go out with a guy who I don’t really fancy but I know holds a torch for me. He has always been really nice to me as a friend, though to be honest I have always kept him at arm’s length because of how much I ...

A.   15 January 2022: So the only thing this schmuck has ever done that impressed you, is to remember your Birthday? Not much of a start for a relationship. Let's look at the REAL question. You just turned 30. Your friends are a bunch of flakes. You don't have a r... (read in full...)

The woman I had an affair with is having a hard time with our official relationship. How do I ease her fears?

Q.   Hi. I am not used to seeking advice, especially on a public site but I am at a complete loss and I will try anything to get a handle on this. Please feel free to weigh in here. First a brief background. My girlfriend and I met by having an affair...

A.   15 January 2022: The problem most fiction writers have is that they simply are bad at math. Go back and start by writing out a timeline. Then structure your characters details based on that timeline. With that basis fill in the affair history based on the ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend wants to be friends with her ex

Q.   So I have been dating this girl for a little over two months. A few months prior to us starting to date she ended a 5 year relationship with another guy. She said it ended amicably and that they had taken breaks before but this was different. She ...

A.   15 January 2022: More red flags than a May day parade. She tried to change her last partner into something he wasn't. She is still trying. She has a strong emotional connection with her ex. Shared secrets and shared experience. They have shared custody of p... (read in full...)

Am I wrong for wanting the games to stop?

Q.   Have been having a few irritating games being carried out in our situationship. Just annoying. I felt I was being toyed with I said it must stop and now he is ignoring me and turning away when he comes near me. Am I being out of line expecting t...

A.   3 January 2022: situationship /?siCH?'waSH?nSHip/ noun a romantic or sexual relationship that is not considered to be formal or established. "I'm trying to turn our situationship into something more serious" New word for me, Thanks. It appears to me that h... (read in full...)

Is this the end of Dear Cupid?

Q.   Is this site reaching the end of its life? Not to say that I want it to be but are we actually providing a genuine service to anybody any more? Back in the "good old days" we'd have a couple of hundred questions posted every month. Now we do...

A.   20 December 2021: I'm still checking in. My frustration is with the posters who pop in, write a long story, and never return. I think they give up hope before their question is even released. I think there is some moderation going on because I see answers ... (read in full...)

I'm worries my younger boyfriend will lose interest

Q.   I'm a 33 year old female and my partner is a 24 year old male. We've been together for over 6 months. I've never been in a relationship with a younger man before but he's very mature for his age and treats me like a queen. I realise we are in th...

A.   10 December 2021: I really don't know how to advise you. Your problem is so common that it has become fodder for marriage jokes. You have a combination of body insecurity (reinforced by the commercial world) and sexual repression / shame (reinforced by the ... (read in full...)

My father in law is a narcissist and my husband doesn't see it

Q.   I've been in a relationship for about 6 years. We have 4 kids together. We're not married. I've decided I'm never going to marry him. I'd never take his name. So our relationship has its ups and downs, but for the last year it was going well. ...

A.   6 December 2021: Just running the math on this tells us a lot. You are between 30 an 35 years old. You have lived near his family for 3 years and near your family for 3 years. You have 4 children under the age of 6. Of course you are exhausted. 6 week ... (read in full...)

*atherly Advice's friends

These are mutual friends, so *atherly Advice has added them and they have added *atherly Advice!

Abella agony auntAbella
BettyBoup agony auntBettyBoup
Blod agony auntBlod
cute angel agony auntcute angel
DeadEyeDick agony auntDeadEyeDick
Emilly9322 agony auntEmilly9322
EnterOne91 agony auntEnterOne91
Fatherly Advice agony auntFatherly Advice
Forge agony auntForge
Frank B Kermit agony auntFrank B Kermit
Gauntlet agony auntGauntlet
justmen agony auntjustmen
lilmishap agony auntlilmishap
LivingWithBadDecisions agony auntLivingWithBadDecisions
masquerade711 agony auntmasquerade711
Memerlyn agony auntMemerlyn
Missy123 agony auntMissy123
mystiquek agony auntmystiquek
nervousme agony auntnervousme
no nonsense Aidan agony auntno nonsense Aidan
NORA B agony auntNORA B
princess precious  agony auntprincess precious
RoseLovex agony auntRoseLovex
shaashiie agony auntshaashiie
SomeoneLikeYou agony auntSomeoneLikeYou
StarryEyes101 agony auntStarryEyes101
tearsnfears agony aunttearsnfears
Tisha-1 agony auntTisha-1
YouWish agony auntYouWish

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.17186539999966!