| Latest articles: Gifts
No replies yet... 4 April 2018: This article is prompted by a question about take out soup. The OP felt slighted by her Boyfriend's offering. The subject is deeply symbolic, and crucial to a major love language and an important emotional need. The "Is the size of the take out ...
An old Uncle muses
No replies yet... 30 March 2017: My style of posting has been going through some changes and I thought I should share what's going on and why these changes. I'm rapidly moving into empty nest. I have 2 Daughters still living at home and they are both looking for their on place. ...
10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the cur10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the curbb
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
29 August 2014: Cindy wrote an excellent article:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ten-best-ways-for-a-woman-to-be.html I felt that the article needed a counterpoint for the guys. I've sure read about a lot of guys mistakes and while I'm sure I will miss some, he...
Rejection
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 October 2013: I just commented on a post by a guy who had a long history of rejection. The post tickled my memory all the way back to Junior High School (12 years of age). I was rejected a lot. I've got to say that out of the 15 or so girls in my class 10 ...
Wanted: Unattached Male
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 October 2010: I stumbled onto a news article online that has got me thinking. It was so much like a question here on "Dear Cupid". The author had just been through a breakup and was Writing advice based on her experience. She entitled the article something ...
Confessions of an Agony Uncle
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2009: On the 4th of November 2008 I signed up for a name and posted my first answer on this site. It was some quiet advice on career choices. Last night I posted my 100th. Just a bit of general advice on sex. In between I've gotten my ire up about ...
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My Baby Daddy never follows through on promises, how can I make him happy?
Q. I have been with my baby Daddy boyfriend for almost two years. I have stayed with him when he was unemployed for 6 months, quit jobs and been broke. I have worked full time even when I was pregnant. We split up for two weeks because I finally ...
A. 23 July 2019: You want a family.
You need security.
He has proven himself incapable of providing either.
I actually don't see any reason why your priority would be making him happy.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is repulsing me.
Q. This is going to sound really bad, but i am starting to get really repulsed by my bf. We broke up breifly this yr n got bk together for the kids but i still feel the same. I see him like a friend, no spark, nothing in common anymore and i honestly ...
A. 23 July 2019: "for the kids",
Is it good for kids to witness an unloving relationship filled with bickering, spats, and tiffs?
These problems were there from the start, but then they were cute now they are repulsive. He hasn't changed, your perception of him h... (read in full...)
I'm off to a spa weekend by myself, my boyfriend didn't want to come and he wants to stop me going too!
Q. I have booked myself a spa break in a classy hotel as a treat and my boyfriend is saying its a dodgy place to go in a hot tub with strangers in a bikini for a woman. He kept saying men could try and chat me up. I don't understand this Im going ...
A. 21 July 2019: I must be out of touch or something. Couples go on spa weekends???
He needs to relax and not worry about you. A bunch of women pampering themselves is not going to attract any men.
but I'm supposed to give you some advice or interpre... (read in full...)
A Male Coworker/Friend is Confiding in Me About His Marital Problems. How Should I Handle This?
Q. I've been at my current employer for two years. I enjoy what I do as a paralegal, but most importantly, I've collaborated with a great group of smart, distinguished professionals at my company. Everyone is helpful, friendly, brilliant. We work hard ...
A. 17 July 2019: "Am I overreacting or is there something more happening that I'm not aware of?"
Yes you are growing an emotional attachment to a married co-worker. Dangerous waters.... (read in full...)
If I could see into the future and see that our marriage would be the same for the next 20 years, then that is not what I want for my life.
Q. Hi, I need help with something. I am a 23 year old Christian man, I have been married for two years and the last year has been sexless. My wife and I got married two years ago and initially I could tell that she was nervous about sexual intimacy (we ...
A. 17 July 2019: Well I can look into your future, because I and many others have been there. Sexuall intimacy in the relationship will continue to decline. Weight will continue to increase. Your frustration will be tested well beyond what you think your limits ... (read in full...)
I guess he's cheating? Pantyliner found in boyfriend's bathroom trash
Q. I found a panty liner in the trash can in boyfriend's bathroom in his room. Mind you, it was on the top of the trash and there are 2 other bathrooms in his house before you get to his bedroom bathroom. He said he didn't know how it got there and ...
A. 16 July 2019: There is not enough information here to give you any kind of guidance.
Some interesting questions might be:
Who else lives in your boyfriends house?
.....
ummmmm
well I guess without an answer to that I haven't got any questions.
Here is ... (read in full...)
Can you make yourself love someone?
Q. Well. Where do I start? Six years ago I met my husband and he inspired me to stop doing the party girl thing. Overtime i realized I had been shallow and never given men like him a chance before. (He is not physically what I was use to dating) I ...
A. 10 July 2019: "Do not know where "pity" and "cheater" are coming from but sexual attraction is not love."
To quote "iam still sexting an ex from hs" You weren't faithful to this man for a single day. No one does that to a person they Love. They do do it to a... (read in full...)
She's married we had an affair ended things but is it really over?
Q. The girl I feel in love with is 6 years younger than me. We were best friends before anything. i had been in two different relationships and we would discuss and vent to one another. She also had a bf at the time. We were best friends. ...
A. 10 July 2019: And that folks is yet another steaming example on the pile of proof, that there is no such thing as other sex friends.
Thanks for the illustration Side piece. To answer your question there is one very sure way to end your trouble. Go talk to her ... (read in full...)
Can you make yourself love someone?
Q. Well. Where do I start? Six years ago I met my husband and he inspired me to stop doing the party girl thing. Overtime i realized I had been shallow and never given men like him a chance before. (He is not physically what I was use to dating) I ...
A. 9 July 2019: You really should not have married a person with only pity as a motivation.
This is the first time I have met a cheater who really never did love her spouse.... (read in full...)
I want some excitement in the bedroom. How do I nudge my b/f in that direction?
Q. My partner and I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years and our sex life was great the first year and the second year it has been pretty rough. Lately, I’ve been hinting at my bf to do some things differently in the bedroom but it seems he ...
A. 8 July 2019: My very serious advice to you is to COMMUNICATE. Not hint. Not nudge. What you are doing is as likely to harm a long term relationship as open honest communication of your sexual interests.
The best time to talk about sex is not when you or h... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend’s sexual behavior normal?
Q. Hello, I don’t know how to bring this up, but I am curious about my boyfriend’s behavior. If anyone would like to explain it. I’ve been with my boyfriend for seven years. We are both in our 20s. Anyway, my boyfriend is a sensitive guy no...
A. 6 July 2019: Normal is a weird word that doesn't apply to your question. A better answer to your question is it is certainly common to want sex after being upset or angry. Scared is also common.
It is common for people to be more or less dominant sexu... (read in full...)
My boyfriend expects me to cut his family's hair for free since I will soon be a hairdresser
Q. I'm about to qualify as a hairdresser and my bf if expects me to cut his families hair for free otherwise he says it will be awkward? He has a large family and I've spent nearly a year and half working for apprenticeship wage. Am I right to be ...
A. 24 June 2019: It all depends on how well they tip. you know it is fun to have friends and family. And when you hang out your shingle it is great for a relative to pop in to be your first customer, and to support you in your new endeavor.
I've never rece... (read in full...)
Ten years together and yet I still don't feel like part of my boyfriend's family.
Q. My boyfriend and I are close to being in our 10 years of being together. I love him deeply and I am happy to marry him. There is just one thing that bothers me. His mother and brothers do not care about me at all. I understand that family means ...
A. 19 June 2019: My advice will be somewhat different if you started this long term relationship at age 12. Age 15 is Different. But the relative early onset of this relationship leads me to strongly suspect that your entire romantic history is wrapped around one ... (read in full...)
How can I shake off the pressure to be married ?
Q. How can I shake this pressure to get married and settle down off? I am a single 33 year old female and everyone around me is married and already at kid number 2. I will only use example of friends and family that I know and say that these marriages ...
A. 19 June 2019: Your perception of the world is based on the people you have chosen to observe, seen through the lens of your attitude.
You don't need to be married to settle. Settle down. Settle for. You can choose a life that doesn't include partner and chil... (read in full...)
Ten years together and yet I still don't feel like part of my boyfriend's family.
Q. My boyfriend and I are close to being in our 10 years of being together. I love him deeply and I am happy to marry him. There is just one thing that bothers me. His mother and brothers do not care about me at all. I understand that family means ...
A. 17 June 2019: Age Check.... (read in full...)
Do you think it was his phone call? Was he too shy to speak?
Q. Ok - one for the guys:- I left my number with a guy I'm quite keen on. I told him he must keep in touch with me and text me to let me know how he's getting on (as we are both on separate vacations for the next month or two), I think he's fairly s...
A. 11 June 2019: 95% chance of telemarketing.
3% chance of accidental dial.
1% chance ghost in the machine.
less than one percent chance of wishful thinking coming true.
Advice: Don't dial back to unknown numbers. Unless you get your entertainment ha... (read in full...)
Why did I panic in the middle of our BDSM thing?
Q. My husband and I are new to BDSM and have been experimenting a lot the last couple months. Last night after he did his thing he was pushing to try and get me to finish (which hasn't happened yet). I was liking what he was doing but started getting a ...
A. 10 June 2019: Was something done wrong? Yes. You gave him the yellow word and he increased the intensity. Perhaps you agreed to that, perhaps you really wanted to finish. But you were close to the limit, and your partner pushed you over.
I see it as an enth... (read in full...)
Should I delete my email account altogether so that he can't get in touch with me?
Q. Hello my ex- fiancé and I broke up 7 months ago. We’re together for about two years! He moved to another country because he is in the military. Anyway to make things easier I blocked him off of all social media, phone etc. Today he emailed me! All ...
A. 9 June 2019: If you are that upset by that email then you should go ahead and delete the account. He can make a new email account 7 times a tay if he wants too.
If it was me, I'd wait a month. with no replies to any communication from him. See if he gets... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has no interest in sex. How can I ignite a sexual spark in her? ...
Q. So me and my girlfriend have been going out for about four months. We're both virgins but she isn't interested in sex at all. She says she feels no sexual desires at all which is frustrating because she's always leaving me with blue balls. She says ...
A. 5 June 2019: Honestly, When a person has no interest in sex OR no interest in sex with a particular person, OR is not ready to have sex, And when that person invites the undesired person to bed, and kissing in bed, then there is some kind of deceit going on. Is ... (read in full...)
I'm moving to a new city and would like some dating advice
Q. I am moving to a new city soon and would like some tips about possibly finding a partner. I am 51. I have been a single Mum to one daughter since 19 years old. I was married originally but abandoned by my husband / her father. He never supported ...
A. 4 June 2019: Well with divorce rampant there is a pretty good availability of all kinds of people out there. I suspect that the greatest difficulty you will find is finding the combination of a man looking for romance and fun AND also interested in a sexless ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has no interest in sex. How can I ignite a sexual spark in her? ...
Q. So me and my girlfriend have been going out for about four months. We're both virgins but she isn't interested in sex at all. She says she feels no sexual desires at all which is frustrating because she's always leaving me with blue balls. She says ...
A. 4 June 2019: She feels (according to her words) "no sexual desires at all". But she exhibits quite a bit of sexual jealousy. see: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-girlfriend-cant-see-my-point-of-view.html
Pauly is exhibiting some impatience and head... (read in full...)
I'd like to talk to this older man but I'm unsure of how to go about it
Q. There is someone I went to speak to, but I'm no sure what to say and whether he find the fact I want to talk to him strange as there is as 17 year ago different, he's older, I always wouldn't know how to phrase my message to him so that he doesn't ...
A. 3 June 2019: So he is around 40.
So you met. He messaged you. You just didn't reply.
Now you are afraid to message him because he might just not reply?
Here is the deal. He is in that age range commonly known as Creepy old guy. Because of that he coul... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has no interest in sex. How can I ignite a sexual spark in her? ...
Q. So me and my girlfriend have been going out for about four months. We're both virgins but she isn't interested in sex at all. She says she feels no sexual desires at all which is frustrating because she's always leaving me with blue balls. She says ...
A. 3 June 2019: Pauly 2000,
I'm going to make a couple of very serious suggestions. First Please reply to every on of your subject threads so we can look up your posts.
When reviewing your prior post about this particular girlfriend - http://w... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has no interest in sex. How can I ignite a sexual spark in her? ...
Q. So me and my girlfriend have been going out for about four months. We're both virgins but she isn't interested in sex at all. She says she feels no sexual desires at all which is frustrating because she's always leaving me with blue balls. She says ...
A. 3 June 2019: This is very normal for an asexual person. Asexual persons are not very common. Probably around 1% of the population.
If she really is asexual, which is exactly how she is describing her sexual interest, then there is likely nothing you can do t... (read in full...)
I'm married and am infatuated with a man who is also in a relationship
Q. I am a married woman and I have developed an infatuation with another man. He is in a relationship too. I don’t know a great deal about him but I know he too fancies me. He has made it clear and has asked me out. I have never been unfaithful ...
A. 29 May 2019: "and I also want him to have respect for me."
That's going to be a tall order, he doesn't have any respect for his current partner, why would he respect a side piece?... (read in full...)
We've never met I'm in the US she's in France. Is there any point in continuing this?
Q. So a couple months ago I noticed a beautiful woman followed me on Twitter. I followed her back and we started exchanging DM's on twitter. Turns out she lives in France. I live in Nevada. But we did click. Our interests lined up in many ways (it...
A. 28 May 2019: Being a fan of word play I always get a kick out of people in online relationships saying that they "click". Because, well, that's all they will ever do, click.
Sure you share interests and friendship. It's a lovely thing. But it is taking your... (read in full...)
I think I really insulted my bf....how should I fix this?
Q. A few days ago my bf came home from work and he came into our bedroom where I was reading/studying and to get my attention he took his penis out and wanted me to play with it....I told him to go away bc I was busy. When he came back to bed a few ...
A. 28 May 2019: The first thing you need to do is to stop leading him on. He is finally discovering that you aren't sexually attracted to him. You may as well confess and be honest about the relationship. Then he can decide for himself if he wants to be ... (read in full...)
What is the average age for first time sex for a girl?
Q. how old is the average age when a girl has sex for the first time?? ...
A. 28 May 2019: This seems like a google kind of question, but the best answer I could find was "it depends". It depends on how you define "has sex".
The more useful answer was in the US 17.2. of course the mode may be more important to you than the mean. See ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend cant see my point of view and issued an ultimatum
Q. I'm in a bit of a dilemma as I've just started a relationship with a girl who I really thought was the one. We've been going out for about four months now and I really do love her and she loves me. She's just been on a massive rant to me today ...
A. 24 May 2019: Was that you Pauly 2000? I won't get off on a tangent with an anonymous poster on someone else's thread. I do reply to private messages.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend cant see my point of view and issued an ultimatum
Q. I'm in a bit of a dilemma as I've just started a relationship with a girl who I really thought was the one. We've been going out for about four months now and I really do love her and she loves me. She's just been on a massive rant to me today ...
A. 24 May 2019: I agree with your girlfriend, Hanging out with other women when you are in a relationship is disrespectful.
I also agree that your Girlfriend is over controlling, and insanely jealous. Some people make the mistake of thinking jealousy is love... (read in full...)
My boyfriend goes too quickly during sex. How do I talk to him about it?
Q. I don’t know how to talk to my boyfriend about this without him saying i dont like out s*x life or making him feel bad. I love what wr have but he tends to finish too quickly, 2 days ago it was probably 30 seconds, and it has happened before but it ...
A. 21 May 2019: I meant to type "30 seconds"... (read in full...)
My boyfriend goes too quickly during sex. How do I talk to him about it?
Q. I don’t know how to talk to my boyfriend about this without him saying i dont like out s*x life or making him feel bad. I love what wr have but he tends to finish too quickly, 2 days ago it was probably 30 seconds, and it has happened before but it ...
A. 21 May 2019: You really need to talk about this because:
His technique stinks.
You resent him.
He needs to get educated.
You don't want to talk to him because:
He might get embarrassed.
He might be insecure.
I see that there are some things that you jus... (read in full...)
Do we change our views in regards to relationships as we get older?
Q. Silly question maybe but in terms of how you are as a person do we change all that much from the ages of twenty to forty when it comes to how we view relationships? My partner says he didn't know what love was, had nothing to compare it to, looks ...
A. 17 May 2019: without retracting any of my previous comment . . .
When I was 20 - 30
I only thought I knew What love was. Now that I've passed 50, I wonder if I will ever know again. Life's like that.... (read in full...)
Do we change our views in regards to relationships as we get older?
Q. Silly question maybe but in terms of how you are as a person do we change all that much from the ages of twenty to forty when it comes to how we view relationships? My partner says he didn't know what love was, had nothing to compare it to, looks ...
A. 16 May 2019: Your question is so short and the answer so big that I would really like to narrow down the topic before answering.
You haven't chosen a name and opened an account so you may never bother to read or reply to anything I guess at. But, I'll give you ... (read in full...)
I have feelings for the old flame who's come back into my life but I have a really great boyfriend now. What do I do?
Q. I’ve been dating a guy for the last 6 months and things have been going reasonably well between us. He is a really great guy and he is really good to me. He is thoughtful, supportive and everyone I know thinks he is really great. I really like him ...
A. 13 May 2019: And another good guy gets the ole heave ho, when bad boy rolls back into town. ... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend deserve a second chance because she didn't 'go all the way'?
Q. I can’t forgive my girlfriend for cheating on me even though she didn’t ‘go all the way’ with the other guy. I’ve told her what she did was unforgivable but my friends and family all think she deserves a second chance and that I’m being too harsh on ...
A. 13 May 2019: Planned in advance. Followed up with lies and trickle truth. Betrayed you and he best friend. And that is just the parts that she has confessed to so far. I think you have more than many people who break up. I think it is enough.
Here is some... (read in full...)
When he wants to initiate sex, I'm never in the mood. Is there something wrong with me?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend 3 1/2 years and I feel like we have a normal sex life. We have sex at least once a week, sometimes more if we're not busy and stressed and so on. But the other night we were watching tv together and he started trying to ...
A. 12 May 2019: OK thanks for the follow up. I don't mind being called silly. He has some problems, but I would like to concentrate on things you can do.
1) He doesn't "feel" rejected. He is Rejected. You are under 30, live together, have sex weekly like a 60 y... (read in full...)
When he wants to initiate sex, I'm never in the mood. Is there something wrong with me?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend 3 1/2 years and I feel like we have a normal sex life. We have sex at least once a week, sometimes more if we're not busy and stressed and so on. But the other night we were watching tv together and he started trying to ...
A. 11 May 2019: You are not ready to share power in the relationship equitably. Don't worry you haven't got more than four weeks before he stops calling. When you get to a point in your life that you are willing to to be an equal partner, your relationships will ... (read in full...)
I've been a mistress for a long time and am starting to get bored with it all.
Q. Hi guys. I've been a mistress for a long time. I can't really talk to people about this. But I'd like to know if it's normal to grow tired of being in a "relationship" which never grows or evolves? I am feeling tired of being a sex toy. Tired of ...
A. 10 May 2019: I think you are putting a bit of a glamor on the wife role.
possibly because it is what you desire. But the truth is not so nice as you think. Husbands and wives have to work to maintain a relationship as well. There is no guarantee that a marr... (read in full...)
I've been a mistress for a long time and am starting to get bored with it all.
Q. Hi guys. I've been a mistress for a long time. I can't really talk to people about this. But I'd like to know if it's normal to grow tired of being in a "relationship" which never grows or evolves? I am feeling tired of being a sex toy. Tired of ...
A. 9 May 2019: Surprisingly a lot of women get tired of being the wife and decide to take up being a mistress part time. Really when you think about it for very long, the real surprise is that there are couples that pass the 20 year mark. There is so much to get ... (read in full...)
My husband loves looking at other women
Q. My husband loves looking at other women. He used to go online and ask them to send him pictures. I asked him to stop. He stopped now that we got married 8 months ago.he has posters all over his garage and playboy and looks at pictures on facebook. I ...
A. 25 April 2019: To introduce an alternative view point.
No relationship exists in a vacuum. There are always other people on the beach. There will always be pin up girls and Bare chested hunks on romance novel covers. A wise and mature person doesn't invite thes... (read in full...)
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