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female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes: So im a lesbian and i happen to be in love with my lesbian cousin. Our relationship is going fine, and neither of our parents are homophobic, but we're wondering how they will react to incest. where i live incest has certain rules: sisters or direct relations? Nope. Cousins or anyone who is seperated by one or two sets of parents? Perfectly legal. This is because the seperation degrees reduce defect probability. We're not sure how to break it though. Both of us are virgins and neither of our parents had any blood diseases or stds so we went into my room once and shared blood on a vow... kinda stubid of us. Now that we have each other's blood flowing in our veins, it's inevitable that we need to tell them..... i need advice ASAP. Thanks!
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female
reader, Midnight Shadow  +, writes (5 January 2015):
 Legal or not, there's another reason people don't date people who are consistent in their lives: the break up. It is VERY unlikely you will be with your cousin for the rest of your life and, if (or more likely when) you break up, it will be incredibly awkward for the next several years. It's not really "in love" when you're so young, more of an infatuation. Being infatuated with someone is normal for everyone, but I don't think you should act on it because you sound like you've still got a lot to learn, like how being lesbians mean there's be no chance of kids being biologically both of yours, meaning there would be no chance of incestuous defects, and the fact that you are unaware that a little bit of blood mixing (be careful with that, infections or deep cuts can be quite dangerous!) doesn't make it course through your veins or hers.
Be your age, don't rush things :)
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (4 January 2015):
Dear OP,
Your blood doesnt' flow in each others veins - unless you had a blood donation where one of you injected blood directly into the veins of the other.
Anyway, your post sounds young and confused.
I'm a bisexual woman myself, so I hate it when people say "maybe it's just a phase". I'm sure that a lot of people already figure out in their teens what their sexual preferences are.
But I also find it weird that nowadays, teenagers think they already know their sexual orientation, when they didn't even have sex yet, or a serious relationship. I assume this is because of the massive media attention that homo/bisexuality has gotten recently. There's some sort of idea that every homosexual feeling, which seems to occur in a lot of teenagers, will make you a homosexual person for life. Which is wrong. When I was in my teens, many of my classmates experimented with the same sex, as it was more easy for them than to approach a boy/girl. But later, they picked partners of the opposite sex (there are also people where it was the other way around).
Your sexual/erotic/romantic taste WILL develop throughout your life, no matter if you stay lesbian, become bisexual or heterosexual later. Your taste will grow and change.
At 13-15 years, there's no need to put a label on yourself yet. Sexuality is a fluid thing that you are just about to discover.
Personally, I'd advise you to try finding another first girlfriend than your cousin. It could be a hell of emotional complications if you discover sexuality/love under those circumstances. You know, I also find my cousin to be a very attractive woman.. but it would be a mindf**k for me to make out with someone who is so similar to me. Sure, technically it wouldn't be incest.. but it would feel "wrong" for me. Maybe it's exactly the "forbidden fruit" thing that is attractive to you? But imagine that one day you two will break up. Even after 20 years, you're still going to see each other on family reunions, always remembering what you did together when you were young. Could be embarrassing.
And also, it could be too much for either of your parents to process. It's enough to come out as a lesbian, for some parents. But lesbian and in love with a relative.. difficult. In many families, loving a relative is an even bigger taboo than homosexuality.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (4 January 2015):
 You are fine, she is fine. chill.
You do not have each other's blood flowing in your veins other then the "kind" of shared blood you have GENETICALLY because you are related.
You don't have to tell your parents that you made a little blood pact.
What you DO need to do, is NOT have sex. Til you are old enough to understand fully what you are doing.
You may BE gay. She MAY be gay and honey, THAT IS OK! Doesn't mean you have to "come out" to your parents JUST yet. I mean STRAIGHT kids don't come out to their parents either, do they?
If you two want to be a couple, I'd advice you to not do it. Not yet. You can still be friends, but hold off on the sex part. There REALLY is no hurry.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 January 2015):
 You don't have each others blood flowing in your veins.. Relax. That's not how your body works.
Need help breaking it to your parents that you are a couple? There's no easy way to do this, you just got to tell them. Blurt it out, that's often easier than trying to find the perfect moment.
Anyways, as you are lesbians there will be no kids, so the entire incest thing is really not relevant. The law against incest is to prevent defects in the fetus/children. Cousins are usually not included by this law, and as you are lesbians you can not have children together biologically, so the entire point is irrelevant.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (4 January 2015):
 I think most of us have at some stage made a little cut and rubbed wounds together to share blood ....... guess what!! It is highly doubtful the blood of the other person entered our blood vessels, highly doubtful indeed, so you can relax, the only blood, unless you have had a transfusion at some time, flowing in your veins, and the veins of your cousin, is the blood you were born with.
I am glad to hear you are both still virgins, and would urge you to stay that way for another year or so, and maybe hold off declaring your love to your parents for a while as well.
I am concerned that you are not mature enough to decide your sexuality, not because I have a problem with homosexuality, but more because this sentence of yours "because the seperation degrees reduce defect probability" suggests you haven't quite grasped the concept that if you are in a lesbian relationship it will be impossible for you to have any babies born with defects.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2015): You are not in danger of having defective children because non of you have semen. You both are girs and this blood sharing what you did doesn't mean you have each other blood now. It kind of goes away, lol....
I think you are experimenting now with your sexuality and the insest what you are so worried about doesn't hold place here as you both of the same sex.
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