A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What do you do when you and your boyfriend have this crazy, intense, over the top physical, sexual chemistry that neither of you has ever experienced with anyone else? And it seems to sometimes take on a life of its own?I find it gets in the way of the relationship sometimes. I get really jealous and go off on him. He gets jealous and does the same. I get mad over something small. He might too. Then we always have this intense make up sex that almost always follows a disagreement! I will be honest. It is almost like I get off on it. And he knows I do so he might push my buttons just a little...It feels like we are ADDICTED to each other. I mean truly ADDICTED. I am really floored by this. Sometimes a bit overwhelmed!It is one of those where you have a connection and have a good time and laughs with each other and feel at ease with each other. And the icing is that the sex is the best we have ever had, both of us. So we stay with each other enjoying mostly the physical connection but having fun with one another. We have some great conversations and many common interests. But on the other hand, we are also very different.We are exclusive and were from the start but neither of us wants to get "serious" or married anytime soon. We both got out of long term marriages within the last 2 years. And to be honest, we never expected to find this kind of a connection as neither of us were looking this soon. But it found us!So, my question is how do we both stay with each other in this relationship, enjoying what we do have and are happy with without all THE FIREWORKS that come along with the FIREWORKS so to speak? Some days I feel it just can't be TAMED!!! LOLI think we are lucky to have this as the excitement phase and attraction never seems to die down.... even over a year in.But we aren't necessarily compatible other than compatible sexually. We have things in common but we are so different from each other.Should we just let it ride for however long it lasts or see where it goes?Has anyone ever stayed in a relationship BECAUSE OF THE INCREDIBLE SEX???? Even though it might have been VOLATILE???
View related questions:
jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (12 January 2015):
 Having the ability to endure powerful sex is important for both women and men. Also think part of what makes the sex good, is that you never know what's going to happen with the relationship. You never know if something small is going to break up the relationship. It's the unpredictability that makes it exciting. In a good relationship there needs to be a good balance of security and passion. Yours is just leaning too much towards passion. I don't find different hobbies and personality to be necessarily a hindrance to long term sustainability. Providing that the basic commonality is that you want to be in a relationship together and won't break up no matter what. A marriage license can sort of guarantee that but for some, marriage and living together is also optional. If both of you are find with separate living arrangements it shouldn't be a problem. It's only a problem when you purposefully say or do things to provoke jealousy and insecurity. When one person does that too much, he/she cares more about the ego, avoiding boredom, more than making the other happy. I would say a commitment phobe would be doing this a lot.
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (12 January 2015):
Dear OP,
Reading your post I got a bit jealous and asked myself if you really have a problem.. or if you're just bragging? Anyway, congrats my dear, I really enjoy to hear any lady that's having a good time ;) Especially after a divorce - good on you!
Would I stay in a relationship because of the incredible sex, even if it was volatile? Hell YES - as long as it doesn't interfere with an even more important concern of mine. For instance, if I desperately wanted to start a family with someone.
Great sex can be time-and energy consuming, and if you have some other, very important life project that you don't get done, because you're too sexed up, that would be a problem. I mean, any kind of addiction can be destructive if you're missing out on too many other things. But other than that..
I think that today, we measure the success of the relationship by the time it lasts. But if we adopt a more flexible perspective, we could say that a good relationship is one that adds something to your life, teaches you something, makes you develop and discover a new part of yourself that you couldn't have developed without that person. Maybe it will be over after 1 year or 2 years, but who says this is less valuable than being together with someone for 20 years? The point is that it's a living, stimulating and interesting form of relationship, so I believe it's a good thing it came in your life.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 January 2015):
 Yupp. I have, twice. The sex was mindblowing, our bodies just melted together, no words needed to be said, he read my body perfectly and I read his as my own.
Did we stay together despite not being compatible? Oh yes. Do I regret it? Not really. You need some good sex in your life too, me thinks. Although it will not last forever, at some point it must end, because the bad beats the good in the end. But I say, enjoy it while it lasts. What's the rush with leaving?
I even ended up having these exes of mine as lovers for some time after the relationship ended (two different relationships at two different times, mind you), and the sex was even BETTER then. So break up with him and keep him as a lover, might be the best sex you've ever had.
...............................
|
