A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:iv been n a relationship for about 6yrs, i know im inlove with him but feel completely unloved by him. we still havent moved in together but he stays every night he doesnt pay towards anything excpt half on the electric bill. he never wants me to go to the pub wit him because hes paranoid about me been round his friends. spends most his weekends gamblin.hes nice as pie during the week but once the weekend comes he doesnt care one bit about me and he says it. how do i get the courage to leave or shud i just stay because i really feel like hes the only one for me and im so in love..or is there any chance he'll change back to the sweetheart he once was?????
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lahainaKat  +, writes (12 February 2007):
 Well this is just up my alley. This sounds just like the relationship I had for 8 years. He live with me though. and besides paying for 1/2 the elce bill he would buy toilet paper now and then. We did nothing together. He came a went whenever he wanted. One day I got sick of being treated like this so I told him to get out. I thought he would get scared and change for the good and come back to me and be the great guy I wanted...But instead he met some girl at the bar and moved in with her JUST LIKE THAT!. He told me a month later that he just had to find some where to live... my heart was broke in half. I couldn't figure out why he would pick some trash out of a bar over me. It is 3 yrs later and that man still comes to me saying that he loves me and that he made a big mistake. I still love him but I will never live with him again. Don't waste your time like I have..... life is to short. Take care of yourself...aloha Kat
A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (12 February 2007):
 It doesn't sound to me like he has any intention of reverting back to what he once was.
I presume you have a sexual relationship with him or why would he be staying overnights.
He has all he could ask for. You are satisfying him without him having to take on all of the responsibilities of a marriage.
It will be a difficult thing but I would drop him like a hot potato. You sound like a nice person who cares about the feelings of others but it is time you care about yourself.
As I have said to others, there are lots of guys who will treat you like a queen, you just need to find him.
So go find your Prince Charming. Doc.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (11 February 2007):
 He's told you he doesn't care one bit about you??? And you're asking me should you stay????? Do you really need a loser like this in your life? Think about it, he stays with you, eats your food, sleeps in your bed, gambles at weekends, goes out with his mates and doesn't want you there! Is THIS really what you want to settle for?????
Wake up and smell the coffee love! This guy is happy using you and your home, having sex with you, taking on no responsibilities whatsoever (except of course for half the electric bill - sheeeesh!) then going out with his mates at weekends. He's not NEARLY ready to settle down and be responsible.
He'll never change! Drop him and have a little self respect. There are lots of men out there who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.!
Eve
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (11 February 2007):
 6 years is a long time to be together, so you would be the one to know if there's any chance of him ever changing back into the sweetheart he once was.
The fact that he's gambling, won't let you meet his friends, and doesn't care about you on the weekends don't sound very heart-warming though.
Perhaps you should put the breaks on this whole thing, before you move in with him or he moves in with you.
If I was in your shoes, I would give him a choice: Either he shapes up or walks out.
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