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At the moment it's "tops only" but worried he'll want to venture further!

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 February 2007) 7 Answers - (Newest, 22 February 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

dear cupid

i am 16 and have a 17 year old bf. my problem is that he is asking for sex should i give in. i let him touch my breats but thats it. what should i do??????

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2007):

NOOOOOOO

you seem to be uncertain

and it's good that you haven't already let him

but ask yourself

do you really love him enough for him to take such a precious thing away?

your first time is meant to be special and with a person who cares about you

and even if you have said you love him

if he keeps pressuring you, ask him whether he loves you enough to wait until you're ready

good luck and all the best ashleigh =]

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007):

the simple fact that your asking us if you should do it shows you're not ready. Dont let him force you into doing anything you dont want to. in the meantime just stick to the things you feel comfortable doing until the time comes (which is when you don't have to ask yourself or anyone if you're ready because you know 100% you want to)

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A male reader, Dr. Reality Check United Kingdom +, writes (11 February 2007):

Dr. Reality Check agony auntYou are clearly not ready to have sex with him. He, being a teenage boy may say that you dont love him if you wont have sex with him. Don't give in to such ultimatums. If he truly loves you, he wont pressure you into anything you aren't ready to do.

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (11 February 2007):

cd206 agony auntIt sounds like you're not ready to take things further with your boyfriend and you should tell him that. I just want to warn you (and I'm not saying your boyfriend will definitely do this) that some guys your age use sex as an ultimatum, saying they will break up with you if you don't sleep with them. Don't be manipulated by him in this way. If you're not comfortable with doing something just don't do it okay? Hope this helps.

CD

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A female reader, Dawnie United Kingdom +, writes (11 February 2007):

Dawnie agony auntYour very young to be worrying about something like this. It sounds as though you really are not sure about going any further with your bf, and if that the case i would say wait a while. When it feels right you will know and then you can enjoy a more fulfilling relationship with him. Also explain how you feel to him and if he is understanding and patient then that will take the pressure off you.Do what feels right to you. Good luck.

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A female reader, Jendorset United Kingdom +, writes (11 February 2007):

Just because your the legal age doesnt mean you have to do anything furthur. Dont do anything you dont want to. If he trys it, just say NO. Firmly. Practise saying no really firmly. It might help lol. I had loads of chances when i was younger, but i waited untill i met someone i felt 100% cofortable, and I was the one to come onto him when we did it first. This guy might not even be the one you will loose your virginity to. You obviously are not ready to do it with this guy. So WAIT and MAKE him wait. And if you feel after a quite a while you are not ready, it could be that you dont want to do it with this guy. And you will find the person who will want to do it with. Message me at any time if you want to talk about it xxx

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A female reader, dragonette Sweden +, writes (11 February 2007):

dragonette agony auntFirst, have a talk with your boyfriend. Let him know that you don't feel ready to take off your pants, and that if he loves you, he shouldn't put any pressure on you.

Second, do you have a dog at home? You know the tone of voice you would use to tell it to not jump on you and dig it's paws into your 300$ knitted sweater? Practice that tone in front of the mirror and if you ever feel pressured by your boyfriend to go further than you want, say "No".

There are some people who think "no" means "yes", but if you straighten your back, look them in the eye, and say "no" like you mean it, then things won't go any further than you want them to go.

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