A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I find that my husband watches porn every day even though he knows I don't like it. It makes me jealous because I now feel that he is looking for someone with bigger tits and better looking. It hurts my feelings but he says I am just a crazy catholic girl. He dont realize that my self esteem is very low right now because of this. He does love me and he would never cheat on me and we make love almost every night but it seems like that is still not enough for him. What should I do?
View related questions:
addicted to porn, jealous, porn, self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Orange_Blossom +, writes (24 September 2007):
 The bodies of Men and woman are very different. Try to be a little open minded. Now, not every man is the same as the next. They do need the release more often than woman. It sounds as if he may be going through his sexual peak. It's ok that it's happening at this age. He needs your support just as much as you need his. I agree with te confidence factor. Confidence is very attractive. He may temporarily lose his sexual drive toward you if he notices a confidence drop. The first thing you could do is compliment him. This will start a chain reaction of compliments. Tip-Be patient. This is key. If there is no patience, there will be less positive feed back and you'll be right back where you started. I actaully have had the same problem. Something to try.... When alone pull out one of his movies and take a sneak peek at what he watches. Make sure you know what he's watching and what he likes. Try getting into it yourself when you're alone.I guarantee, if you do this continually, you'll feel a lot better about yourself. Maybe you can take pointers from the porn. Surprise him one day when he comes home from work. If he really wanted to be with someone else, he would be. Try not to think poorly of yourself. Embrace his sexual growth with growth of your own. If he chose you, then he knows you're sexy, beautiful and he loves you. Just remember to be patient, open-minded, and don't forget -- you're his #1 woman.
A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (24 September 2007):
 I have found a website which showes some sobering statistics. Perhaps your husband should read them.
Go to the site and look under "Shaping of attitudes and relationships."
Hope this helps. Doc
http://www.filterguide.com/harmful.htm
...............................
A
female
reader, penta +, writes (24 September 2007):
 If he really wanted someone with bigger tits, he'd leave you for someone who had bigger tits. Watching some fake-tits woman on the screen isn't any commentary on you, or his feelings for you. Guys like to look. That's all it is.
That said, every day seems a bit much to me. And calling you a "crazy catholic girl" isn't really a way to convince you of anything except that he doesn't care about your feelings.
Is there any way you can compromise? You need to know that he's not with you by default; he's there because he chooses you. Your self-esteem shouldn't have anything to do with him. You need it to be strong because you feel comfortable in your own skin (confidence is sexy, by the way).
Ask him to go through this site with you: http://www.no-porn.com/ . Check to make sure he's not addicted. If he is, the two of you can work on it. If he's not, it's possible that there are some ways that the two of you can come to an agreement.
One way or another you two need to be able to talk about this rationally. If he feels nagged he'll ignore you, then you'll feel abandoned. It's not a good combination. A counselor or some other mediator may be a good idea.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (24 September 2007):
 This seems to be a problem that many people have. While it may seem like he is looking for something better he is not. Many men like watching porn - not for the women but just for the sex, the hard core sex. Alot of them dont actually find the women attractive but like wat they do.Why not suggest watching it with him in bed? This can be a huge turn on for both you and him and can also make you both more confident in bed. I have tried it with my b'f and its great!! If you not comfortable with this idea then try and talk to him, maybe ask him to reduce the time he spends watching it and spend more time with you - actually doing!! Email me cos i have alot more things to say to you to help but it will take too long!! like i said email me and well talk!
...............................
|
