My wife wants a separation. How can make her love me again?
Q. Been married for 28 years - have two teenage children. My wife has said she has no feelings for me any longer and wants to separate. I am so hurt and upset. She has admitted the separation is purely selfish on her part but does not want to thin...
A. 30 May 2014: I agree that this limbo is now way to live. I know you wanted this year to "fix" things, but it's clear that she is not interested in that right now, and being close to you is pushing her away.
All hope is not lost however. Being truly separate... (read in full...)
My wife wants a separation. How can make her love me again?
Q. Been married for 28 years - have two teenage children. My wife has said she has no feelings for me any longer and wants to separate. I am so hurt and upset. She has admitted the separation is purely selfish on her part but does not want to thin...
A. 21 May 2014: I would have been there for her verbally, but obviously intimacy with you at this point is not on her wish list, so you should avoid it. Right now it's more likely to push her away then bring her back.
If it's appropriate again you will probably... (read in full...)
Why is my mother so cruel?
Q. Having just turned 21, I'm still having trouble with my mom. We can never have a mother daughter conversation Whenever she calls me she says I'm a big burden in her life and when she doesn't want me, I'm a waste of money and time. I'm currently ...
A. 21 May 2014: Yea there's an explanation; your mom is a mean person. It had nothing to do with you.
However, it seems like you need a wake up call too. Your mom is paying for you to go to school and you're complaining that she's not paying for enough? Many oth... (read in full...)
Should I tell her how I feel before she goes back home to the other side of the planet?
Q. Hi guys Basically, I met a girl who is 5 years older than me, she is 28 and I am 23. She is studying here and will leave in a few months time. I knew her from an online language exchange and I went to visit her and saw her during 3 days. During t...
A. 21 May 2014: I think that you should keep in touch with her after she leaves, but confessing your feelings and attempting to pursue something romantic is just setting yourself up for a little bit of heartbreak.
What's the best case scenario? She has no boyfr... (read in full...)
How do I move on and stay sane after finding out that he cheated?
Q. About two weeks ago I had an email from a guy saying that his girlfriend has been having sex with someone and he thinks it's with my fiance. I confronted my fiance about it and after a few minutes of him denying it he finally admitted it. He said ...
A. 21 May 2014: She's not the one who wronged you, he is because he's who you had the commitment with.
The thing about cheating is that unless you find out why it happened and address the problem, not only will you most likely never get over it, but it will pro... (read in full...)
Who pays when the guys invite the girls?
Q. We went out with 2 guys yesterday, my friend and I. The whole discussion with her started after I noticed ( I think) that when It was time to pay, the guys were kind of hesitant ( may be I am mistaken). I was ready to offer to pay for my drinks, ...
A. 20 May 2014: It really depends on the guys' motives. If it's a friendly "we should catch a drink" then you should pay. If they were hoping for sex or another date then they should pay. ... (read in full...)
Is he pushing too soon to have a relationship with me?
Q. Dear Cupid Member I have a question? Do you think a guy is pushing a relationship with you too soon if after exchanging emails and just talking once on the Phone he already told me that He wants to be my Boyfriend? I met him online in one of...
A. 20 May 2014: The situation is fishy, he probably does want you for your citizenship. But, even if he doesn't I would tell him that coming on so strong so soon was a major turn off and you'll be looking elsewhere for love. Maybe he'll learn a lesson. ... (read in full...)
My wife gave her phone number to a former lover and says I am over reacting!
Q. Through the wonders of Facebook my wife was contacted by one of her former lovers. I don't know why but she gave him her cell phone number and he started calling her. I discovered one of these voicemail messages when she asked me to check somethin...
A. 19 May 2014: "It frustrates me that I cannot convey to her how much this hurts me."
Maybe that has something to do with her thinking that you're overreacting? I'm sure she realizes how hurt/upset you are, but she just doesn't agree that you have a good rea... (read in full...)
We've drifted apart and I've met someone else
Q. I have been with my current partner for several years now and we have two beautiful children together. We got together quite young and fell with the first after only 6months of being together . We haven't been unhappy but we have drifted apart over ...
A. 19 May 2014: I totally understand how you feel regarding staying for the kids. I wish there was an easy solution here, but there really isn't.
You could cheat and possibly be happy until your gf finds out. Then you'll break her heart and scorn the mother o... (read in full...)
Even though we've broken up he still tries to control me
Q. Hi and thanks My ex boyfriend and I had a roller coaster relationship. Our first time around he was on a dating site our whole 8 month relationship plus admitted to having feelings for his ex plus cheated so many times I can't count that high....
A. 18 May 2014: Block/delete. Easy.
If he comes by your house or employment, tell him you're done and he needs to leave. If he doesn't, call the cops. ... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend but does he really want to be with her?
Q. myself and my ex boyfriend broke up 2 years ago when he went abroad. I was suppose to go out after him but decided I wasnt ready for the commitment. He has done alot of the chasing for the last two years and was always the one to contact me. He ...
A. 18 May 2014: I agree with honeypie. Where were you when he was chasing you and he didn't have a girlfriend?
He probably told you those things about her because he didn't want to hurt you. I'm sure in an ideal world he'd chose you, but I've been in his situ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to fall in love with someone else while you're in a relationship?
Q. This is going to sound depressing but... Is it normal to fall in love with someone else when you're in a relationship? I see it happen ALL the time...Where one partner stops loving their partner and falls in love with another person. In fact,...
A. 18 May 2014: I think one of the things they don't tell you in a long term relationship is how much things change and how hard it can be to stay in love.
But what you're describing is short term relationships. Once the lust wears of you have love, compatib... (read in full...)
My wife wants a separation. How can make her love me again?
Q. Been married for 28 years - have two teenage children. My wife has said she has no feelings for me any longer and wants to separate. I am so hurt and upset. She has admitted the separation is purely selfish on her part but does not want to thin...
A. 18 May 2014: I think at this stage your judgment is probably clouded, so it's hard to say if there was anything going on. I know that when things were rough between my wife and I every time her phone twitched I got paranoid.
One thing you need to realize ... (read in full...)
How do I know how much to worry during this first pregnancy?
Q. Hi. Looking for some advice. Im a first time mum...so naturally everything is new to me. Im 30 weeks pregnant today. The past 4/5 days my baby hasnt been moving alot at all ... not i know babys movements do change but things just dont feel right ...
A. 18 May 2014: Some women just worry a ton when they're pregnant. Some don't worry about a thing. There's no way to know exactly what is worth going to the doctor about unless you are a Dr. So just use your best instincts and go when you feel it's needed.
... (read in full...)
Does this mean it's over?
Q. My boyfriend (of 2 years) and I had an argument last week. The argument was mainly because i started noticing that my boyfriend has been ignoring me lately, reading my texts and not responding, he even ignored me for a whole day. Throughout our ...
A. 17 May 2014: This reminds me of a girl I dated who occasionally suffered from depression. It eventually ruined the relationship because I didn't understand what was going on and I, like you, was thinking about how it affected me more than how it affected her.
D... (read in full...)
Found out I was pregnant after we broke up
Q. I have a lot to deal with right now. Some days I'm fine just going about my day, then everything comes back to me and i feel overwhelmed and depressed again. I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my ex's baby. We broke up before i even knew i was pregnant. I...
A. 17 May 2014: Even if things were ideal you still may be reluctant to spill the beans to everyone. Take your time.
But you seem to be to worried about what other people will think. Who gives a shit if your ex gets mad? He is just as responsible for this as ... (read in full...)
Does this mean it's over?
Q. My boyfriend (of 2 years) and I had an argument last week. The argument was mainly because i started noticing that my boyfriend has been ignoring me lately, reading my texts and not responding, he even ignored me for a whole day. Throughout our ...
A. 17 May 2014: Luckily for both of you it sounds like it is. This is obviously not a good relationship, so even if he does contact you again you should move on. ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to cope with these feelings of being too small!
Q. I need to know who feels the same and how to get rid of these feelings. I feel below women who are more attractive than me (pornstars, glamour models) I feel like they have more power over men, it hurts me. I feel small. I want a boob job. I'm ...
A. 17 May 2014: I think women think men only want big boobs, etc, but the truth is that those are easiest to see with clothes on so they get more attention.
Naked, I don't think most guys give a shit. I know I don't. My wife has nice boobs but they're b's, so ... (read in full...)
27 year old female and have never had a boyfriend....advice?
Q. I'm 27 year old female and have never had a boyfriend. I have had sex only once, when I was 22 with a friend who I trusted (so I knew i felt comfortable even though I only did it to "get it over with". I don't regret this but for the most part being ...
A. 16 May 2014: Why not try counseling? ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend showers with his friend?
Q. My boyfriend was telling me about a drunken night the other weekend, and told me he ended up showering with his (guy) friend. Then he told me that he'd also showered with a different (guy) friend on a couple occasions. I was confused, and as...
A. 15 May 2014: I don't know about his sexuality, and honestly that part is kind of irrelevant if he's with you and you're happy.
The thing I find odd is that everyone think this is common. Guys shower together in the gym, as in multiple showers with or without ... (read in full...)
He spends most of his time on the phone to her when I am with him
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly two years, I found out he'd cheated on me 3 times during the first 10 months of our relationship both physical and emotional cheating. He 'realised his mistake' and I took him back. Our relationship ...
A. 15 May 2014: "should attention from another female that makes his girlfriend uncomfortable be worth it to him?"
No it shouldn't be but he doesn't seem to care about your feelings enough to stop. As I said before you're with someone who will probably always c... (read in full...)
What does it mean?
Q. What does it mean when a guy does these things? What does it mean? So my boyfriend of 9 months (we didn't have sex) started acting distant and irritated with me and I couldn't stop hurting:( He'd ignore me for days when we argue and get ...
A. 15 May 2014: I don't think anyone hear can read his mind except to know that you guys are done with. So if I was you I'd block him and move on. ... (read in full...)
Is she losing interest already?
Q. So I went on a date with a girl I met online last week. I thought it was great, we just walked and talked for like a few hours, although I thought that I might've been a bit more awkward than I normally am, but in general I thought we hit it off. At ...
A. 14 May 2014: Yeah worrying about that stuff is undermining your confidence, and that can be a real turn off. ... (read in full...)
He spends most of his time on the phone to her when I am with him
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly two years, I found out he'd cheated on me 3 times during the first 10 months of our relationship both physical and emotional cheating. He 'realised his mistake' and I took him back. Our relationship ...
A. 14 May 2014: If someone cheats on you more than once and you forgive them, you either dump them if it happens again or you learn to live with it. ... (read in full...)
BF won't show me his phone
Q. Here is a brief bit of background to shed some light frist. My current boyfriend once lied to me and I forgave him but I am finding it incredibly hard to forget in the way that he wants me to. This is most difficult when it comes to his behaviuor...
A. 14 May 2014: I agree with him. You're trying to be controlling and he's putting his foot down.
Now if he's hiding his phone all the time that's different. But not wanting you to search it looking for clues is incredibly understandable. ... (read in full...)
He found a smudge on the wall .........
Q. I have been living with my partner for 10 years. We have 2 kids. My name is not on anything because I am trying to up my credit score (bad credit). He is an ocd neat freak. I am messy. The house isn't a nightmare, but it's not pristine either. He ...
A. 14 May 2014: I don't see why you'd want to salvage this "relationship".
If you are home all day I don't blame him for expecting you to clean, but he's crossed a line. If you can't live up to his unrealistic standards, then you either need to leave him or f... (read in full...)
It seems like my sex-drive is out of control
Q. I have an embarrassing question and cold really use some help For as long as I can remember I have been natural wet down there. To the point in high school I had to wear panty liners because my panties would get so wet. I have always had an extre...
A. 13 May 2014: You need to work on your self control a little. While the image of you masturbating at work is pretty hot, it's generally not a good idea.
I'm sure this is a phase that you will grow out of within a couple of years.
Regarding wetness. It's a ... (read in full...)
Does her Skype fling mean it's over for us?
Q. My wife and I regularly share digital gadgets so when I used her iPad I was surprised to discover it open on a Skype chat with a young guy half her age (we're both early 40s, busy professionals, married 15 years with 2 kids). He'd sent a photo of ...
A. 13 May 2014: I buy what she says, it all seems perfectly logical, and reasonable for that matter.
Instead of breaking up, you need to work on your relationship and intimacy. Weekends away, date night, learn new things together, little gifts, etc.
That's ... (read in full...)
How do I react to my daughter dating a non-Jew?
Q. I have a daughter who is in a relationship with an atheist man. In order to be with him and out of our disapproving sight she moved far away. Now she wants to reconcile with us and come back home. We are willing to reconcile with her, but not if she ...
A. 13 May 2014: Things change, laws were made thousands of years ago for people that lived thousands of years ago.
I'm not religious, but here's the bottom line.
She's not going to dump him for you because she doesn't believe what you believe.
So ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend won't fully commit and now ex is around. Should I be worried?
Q. I am very torn right now as to whether to break up with my boyfriend of a year and a half. Almost all of my friends now are very vocal that I should. He is selfish at times, has drank too much and most recently said he can see a future with me ...
A. 13 May 2014: So, your biological clock is ticking... Does that automatically make him the right guy for you?
It sounds reasonable to me that you wouldn't be happy with him in the long run. I know a few people who settled down because they wanted to start a ... (read in full...)
He and I have a mutual friend who is a girl he once had a crush on. Should I allow what our mutual friend said to so unsettle me?
Q. I'm in a curious problem and don't really know what to make of it. As it goes, I've been besties with a guy over the internet for nearly four years now. We've spent hours talking to each other about practically everything, fighting, arguing,...
A. 13 May 2014: Maybe it's a simple case of feeling validation because someone really likes you, then having it yanked from under you.
I'm not sure if that's enough answer for you, but I'm not sure what else needs to be said. You'll get over it in a few days. ... (read in full...)
LDR and suddenly he's harder to contact. Am I overreacting?
Q. My bf works for UPS and goes in work at either 3, 4, or 5am and gets off no later than 11. He always text me after he's done which he did today at 10 am "goodmorning sleepy head :)" I text him back about 5 mins later and never got a text back. ...
A. 13 May 2014: This is a good way to push him away from you. Just take it easy, he's not a little boy, so you don't need to be over protective. I'm sure by now you've heard from him and won't read these replies so I'm done. ... (read in full...)
My Bf says that talking to this other girl is "different" and he's not going to stop talking to her. What can I do?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 7 years lived together for 6 and half years. For a long time now he has been ignoring me and i have felt pushed away and unloved. he has said he feels that i dont love him anymore and says i am pushing him away bec...
A. 13 May 2014: It sounds to me too like this relationship is over. If things are truly innocent, I don't really blame him for refusing to stop talking with her. However, considering the state of your relationship, it's probably not totally innocent.
Honey... (read in full...)
How can I get my husband to step up in the personal hygiene department?
Q. Hello. I have a problem that I really need advice for. Thing is, it's kind of gross, and I don't mean to offend anyone. My question is, how can I get my husband to step up in the personal hygiene department? I'll give you some back story. He i...
A. 13 May 2014: I wouldn't mince words here. Just tell him that a number of times when you have gone down on him you've noticed that he wasn't as clean as he should be down there, considering you're putting your mouth on it. Tell him if he wants anymore BJ's he ... (read in full...)
We were friends only earlier, as I was in a relationship. How can I now let him know I'm single?
Q. While I was dating my old boyfriend, I became friends with a guy who I later realized was interested in me. I informed him I had a boyfriend, and our relationship remained platonic. I have since broken up with my boyfriend, but don't know how to ...
A. 13 May 2014: You didn't give a lot of information about the situation. Do you see him frequently? How do you contact him? Under what situation do you contact him? ... (read in full...)
I can't connect emotionally.
Q. Hey everyone, I have started dating again after a small break and here I am stumbling again on my biggest problem: creating an emotional connection. Emotional connection is necessary in order to escalate things. Yet, I am unable to push things f...
A. 12 May 2014: You can only have so much small talk. Maybe you need to do things that don't center around "topical conversation", that way you won't feel the fear of running out of topics.
Do something together that creates new conversation, like a hike, a ... (read in full...)
I want to move on from a girl I fell for. Is it OK to ignore her if she texts me?
Q. Last year a girl joined my college course and straight away I fell for her. We became friends and then I asked her out at the end of the year and she turned me down. After that nothing changed, we were still friends although she did move into the ...
A. 12 May 2014: Ignore her as she has done to you. Whatever you wanted is over, and she doesn't even want friendship. ... (read in full...)
The passion has left the marriage. What more can I do?
Q. So my wife and I have been married for 18 months. We have lived together for 4 years. Best way to put this is I am basically the woman of the relationship. I do about 90% of the house work, cooking cleaning ect. I was just raised that way to be very...
A. 12 May 2014: I see two obvious problems here: her body image and you "being the woman of the relationship". That's not exactly going to make her moist with anticipation.
I think you need to start expecting her to contribute more around the house. Don't pl... (read in full...)
I feel disgusted he saved an inappropriate picture of his daughter's friend!
Q. Hi There, Agh, I am actually a embarrassed to write about this. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to any of my friend about it in the last 3 days. I have this habit of going through my boyfriend's email, phone, etc. It's a bad habit, I ...
A. 12 May 2014: I didn't excuse anything, I'm simply stating that her age doesn't make her invisible. It's just reality and we can pretend it's not if that makes you more comfortable.
I also believe that knowing her age should have prevented him from staring,... (read in full...)
How can I stop my bf messing me around?
Q. Dear all.please advise.My bf of three years .has a nasty habit of messing me around .e.g I ask him what he is doing later on this evening.He says he doesn't know.I text him a bit later saying I thought he might like to come over.He texts back saying ...
A. 12 May 2014: Good luck, you made the right decision. It will get easier with time. If you haven't let him know that you don't want to have anything to do with him any more, you should. Tell him that you're going to block his phone number, etc and do it. That way ... (read in full...)
I feel disgusted he saved an inappropriate picture of his daughter's friend!
Q. Hi There, Agh, I am actually a embarrassed to write about this. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to any of my friend about it in the last 3 days. I have this habit of going through my boyfriend's email, phone, etc. It's a bad habit, I ...
A. 12 May 2014: Let me tell you all a little secret that guys don't want to get out:
When a female has the body of a woman, you still visualize them as a woman even if they're underage. In no way does it mean we want to sleep with them.
It hasn't been long... (read in full...)
I feel disgusted he saved an inappropriate picture of his daughter's friend!
Q. Hi There, Agh, I am actually a embarrassed to write about this. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to any of my friend about it in the last 3 days. I have this habit of going through my boyfriend's email, phone, etc. It's a bad habit, I ...
A. 12 May 2014: No your behavior us not normal, and you know it, so stop.
I think you have an accusatory mind, so that you literally are looking for reasons to get upset with your boyfriend. Literally!
What you found is a picture he'd taken before that he o... (read in full...)
I can't connect emotionally.
Q. Hey everyone, I have started dating again after a small break and here I am stumbling again on my biggest problem: creating an emotional connection. Emotional connection is necessary in order to escalate things. Yet, I am unable to push things f...
A. 12 May 2014: Maybe the problem is with your perception of the situation and not the situation itself.
For example you said, "There is something missing, even I feel it. The conversation is going nowhere, flirting seems inappropriate as it does not match th... (read in full...)
How can I stop my bf messing me around?
Q. Dear all.please advise.My bf of three years .has a nasty habit of messing me around .e.g I ask him what he is doing later on this evening.He says he doesn't know.I text him a bit later saying I thought he might like to come over.He texts back saying ...
A. 11 May 2014: Either dump him or be miserable, it's your choice but it seems pretty obvious to me. There are plenty of guys out there.
When being with someone is worse than not being with them it's time to go. ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my bf messing me around?
Q. Dear all.please advise.My bf of three years .has a nasty habit of messing me around .e.g I ask him what he is doing later on this evening.He says he doesn't know.I text him a bit later saying I thought he might like to come over.He texts back saying ...
A. 10 May 2014: You need a new boyfriend. You talked about it, he didn't care, what more can be said? He's not the right guy for you. ... (read in full...)
My wife wants a separation. How can make her love me again?
Q. Been married for 28 years - have two teenage children. My wife has said she has no feelings for me any longer and wants to separate. I am so hurt and upset. She has admitted the separation is purely selfish on her part but does not want to thin...
A. 10 May 2014: That situation is both good and bad. At least being away from each other could give her time to miss and appreciate you. Without a little space she may start resenting you. So I'd definitely give her room.
My wife and I went through a similar ... (read in full...)
My wife wants a separation. How can make her love me again?
Q. Been married for 28 years - have two teenage children. My wife has said she has no feelings for me any longer and wants to separate. I am so hurt and upset. She has admitted the separation is purely selfish on her part but does not want to thin...
A. 1 May 2014: I wouldn't start wondering about cheating. So many people keep their phones close by at all times. It's only a sign of cheating when you're looking for that kind of thing. And going out with her friends on Wednesday sounds reasonable for a woman who ... (read in full...)
My wife wants a separation. How can make her love me again?
Q. Been married for 28 years - have two teenage children. My wife has said she has no feelings for me any longer and wants to separate. I am so hurt and upset. She has admitted the separation is purely selfish on her part but does not want to thin...
A. 26 April 2014: The more you try to force things at this point, the more likely it is she'll never want to hear from you again. Be a man and go along with the separation 110%.
Enjoy your freedom. There's a possibility that seeing this will cause her to second g... (read in full...)
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