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What does it mean?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 May 2014) 10 Answers - (Newest, 17 May 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

What does it mean when a guy does these things? What does it mean?

So my boyfriend of 9 months (we didn't have sex) started acting distant and irritated with me and I couldn't stop hurting:(

He'd ignore me for days when we argue and get really rude if I ask him questions.

He was moaning one day about his life and I'd gotten sick of him so I said I had problems too and that he should stop moaning.

He didn't ring me for 2weeks I tried ringing him but he kept ignoring me and he got really rude to me and I said I'm gunna go find a guy who will love me and he said I can go ahead.

We haven't spoke for 4weeks and last night he sent me a video of sexual tips. and he told me to take some tips and have fun with my new boyfriend. (I'm not seeing anyone)

Why would he send me that when he hasn't tried contacting me in 4weeks?

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (17 May 2014):

Dionee' agony auntHonestly, he was tired of you. Plain down. He sent you that video because you said you'd replace him so he was being mean by sending it as if to say "i hope your new man you said you'd replace me with atleast gets some". Yeah it was mean, blah blah but now its time to forget the jerk and move on.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (15 May 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntOP why do you care what his reasoning is? Figuring out WHY you care at all about how this man feels or why he is doing something will help you get past it and move on.

That's the part that's bugging you, you wonder what he's up to when in truth you should not care at all. He's old news, water under the bridge.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (15 May 2014):

Honeypie agony auntYea, I am on the bandwagon with the trying to hurt you by sending the video.

YOU dumped him with a "I'm going to REPLACE YOU" statement and he took 4 weeks.... to think up how to retaliate in a way that he felt would hurt you the most.

You were both acting like brats (sorry, that is my conclusion after your brief description of your relationship) and now it's over.

I kind of want to break out in song... LET IT GO.. LET IT GO.

There is no point in speculations about WHY he did it. He is your ex.

All you can do is learn from that relationship so you don't repeat your mistakes.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2014):

Everyone saying he's an asshole, in his defence he has a gf of 9 months who won't have sex with him. He's obviously fed up.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2014):

That is below the belt and nasty. He is showing you how childish and immature he is. There are ways of talking to people but to have no contact and then send this shows you he has no idea how to treat a woman. You had a lucky escape.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (15 May 2014):

llifton agony auntHe was being an asshole. You said you were going to find someone else and so he sent you the video, implying you need tips on how to be better in bed (or sexually, in general) with your "new boyfriend" you claimed you were going to get.

He was mocking youband saying you need sexual tips.

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A male reader, DorianGrayN9ne United Kingdom +, writes (15 May 2014):

DorianGrayN9ne agony auntThere's is a lot that is at work here. It seems to me, and I don't mean to be rude, both of you have said and done some immature things in this relationship.

On the one hand, soveryLCDx is right - sending you that video was meant to hurt you and that is not a nice thing to do - but, to be fair, you had left with the threat of leaving him to find someone else. In your defense, you only said that because he had ignored you for two weeks,but then again that was probably a reaction to the fact that, when he was telling you about his problems (or 'moaning'), you simply told him to stop.

This relationship was bound to fail because you were working against each other the whole time, not together. Learn from that

D.G.N9ne.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (15 May 2014):

I don't think anyone hear can read his mind except to know that you guys are done with. So if I was you I'd block him and move on.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2014):

Out of the three reasons tisha gave, whichever one it was, sending a video like that after letting you stew for a whole MONTH was designed to HURT you.

That's NOT a nice way to treat someone. Everyone has issues, arguments in a relationship. WHATEVER it is, the ADULT, decent thing to do is to not bottle things up and then send you spiteful videos to hurt you...

It's well known that good communication in relationships is the most important thing, that can make/ break it.

WHATVERs on your mind, you should feel comfortable and able to share deep thoughts/ feelings with your partner.

Honestly... Please realise this is NOT ON in a relationship, he's not who you want be with... He needs to go away and sort out his screwed little mind.

It may not seem like it but by cutting him off and moving on, you'll be doing yourself a big favour. Hopefully he'll even learn from this. Either way it's the BEST course of action, have no doubt.

Good luck x

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (14 May 2014):

Tisha-1 agony auntDoes he get drunk often and send messages he will regret later? You said he sent it last night. Maybe he was feeling annoyed at what he considers to be an unhappy breakup and just sent you that video out of spite. Your last comment to him was that you were "gunna go find a guy" who will love you and he said you "can go ahead."

So, he either assumes you had a guy ready to step into the boyfriend role or he's mocking you for saying that he was essentially replaceable. Another take on it is that as you said you never had sex with him, he's resenting that you didn't and is trying to make you feel bad by sending you sexual tips you don't really need.

I would take this as he is your *EX* boyfriend now and block him on the phone, email, social media, etc.

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