A
female
age
41-50,
*ess80
writes:Ok, here goes. It might be a log one, bear with me it's the first time that I have ever said the whole story. I'm a married 29 year old mother of 3.My husband of 7 years, has always had an erection issues. I thought it was me, but I figured out it's not. He has different fantasy's and I have always been one to help those turn into reality. Let me say he is FREAKY!!!! Well he came to me one day about a year ago, with one of these fantasy's, it was a BIG one. I never really thought of myself as a Dominating person. That is what he wanted. He wanted me to Dominate him, Humiliate him, lock him up in a Chastasy device, cockold him, he LOVES creampies He wanted to be OWNED. I didn't know what half this shit was until he said something. WOW!!! is Right!! So I looked into it and decided that i would try it for him. He had some conditions of course, our marrage was to come first always. I couldn't fuck anyone that he knew. I had to tell him what happened in detail, (I think that was cause it got him off.) If there were any feelings that developed between myself and another person it was done. It was a little bit scary at first. I have fucked four different men since. He knows about all of them. The last guy (we'll call him B) was just WWWWWOOOOWWWW!!!!!! Holy SHIT!!!! I have know him for about 15 years, and nothing has ever happened between us in all that time. This last month I have been talking back and forth with this person, and he tells me all the things that as a woman you wait your whole life to hear. But he also says he loves me. My husband knows that I've been talking to a friend. We have had a lot of little and big things wrong in our marriage, The last one was a money issue. We sat in the same room and for 2 weeks and said maybe ten words to each other. It didn't get much better. He pretty much told me that the only reason that people talk to me is because they want to have sex with me. Isn't he nice. After he he said this , he apoligized, and acted like nothing happened. I left the other night to give my sister a ride somewhere, and saw B there. There is always so much passion between us, Crazy passion! Well I was only supposed to give my sister a ride not stop and have drinks with people and that's what happened that night. My husband texted me asking me what was taking so long my sister was texted him back and told him she needed sister time. He told her he was packing his shit ans leaving. So I stayed out longer and I was planning on because of that. I didn't want to argue anymore. I ended up giving B a ride home, then went home. In the morning he packed his clothes and left. My husband has never romantic with me, 'I've used to be that way, but I got hurt.' is what he thinks. He has become very crictical about everything, and I'm at the point where I don't want to care anymore. I have so many thoughts in my head that i don't know how to tell him. It's like we forgot how to communicate. It sucks.He asked me today if he caused this, and was it his sex problem. It's part of the problem. He wants to work things out. He wants my list of conditions on us staying together. But I don't know what those conditions should be. Help!!
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (5 November 2010):
 I see the problems in your marriage. Everything seems to have its own conditions. Conditions for sex, conditions to love and stay together. Love, real love should be completely unconditional. What makes matters worse is the fact that your husband has never been romantic with you. It sounds as though this whole relationship is beginning to rot. His sexual fantasies are not so disturbing. What IS disturbing is the fact that he spoke to you with the intent of demeaning you by saying that the only reason a man would want to be with you is for sex. I suppose 'B' proved him wrong.
I am not going to tell you to get a divorce but, at this point, with the way things are starting to die between you, I would strongly suggest that you consider it. Perhaps 'B' will show better respect and romance.
I hope that helps.
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