A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Iv'e been really good friends with someone for about three years, theres quite a big age gap in our friendship but thats never been a problem. I was really close to her and we shared alot of things. She has helped me through some really bad times and ive been there for her as well. shes been like a mum to me.all of a sudden out of no where shes just stopped talking to me but i cannot think of a reason why?any help? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 Tigerlily has some very valid points. I was in a similar situation last year with a friend of nearly 20 years and I started to avoid her because her drama was overwhelming my life. I couldn't attend to my own business because I was always listening to her problems and there was really no reciprocity in support.
As a friend who had to cut off contact, I thing your best course of action is to call her and leave a message saying "Hey, how are you? Haven't heard from you in a while and I hope everything is okay. Give me a call when you get a chance. Let me know if you need anything; you know I'm here for you. Love ya!" Don't send email after email asking why she stopped talking to you because all that does is make her feel like the entire relationship is based on you and your needs.
If she chooses not to respond, you have to move on. All friendships are not supposed to last a lifetime.
A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (17 April 2010):
Well I have two thoughts here. You said you have been trying to contact her through email and have had no response. Is this the ONLY way you have tried, or have you tried calling or seeing her? Because if there is something wrong with her email perhaps she has not gotten your messages and has no idea. I know some of my friends are fond of changing their email addresses (some of my guy friends will do this if they are ducking a stalker) and then forget to forward the new address on to their actual friends.
My other thought is you said "we shared alot of things. She has helped me through some really bad times". Please don't be offended by this, but at your age life can be a lot of drama, because everything that happens is so new to you. If she's older she may have a different perspective - things that are a major crisis when you are 18 just aren't when you are 28 or 38. You say she's like a mum to you, but she's not your mum and it can get old if our friends are always leaning on us in a crisis. You may want to consider if this is a possibility... have you perhaps worn out your welcome?
and third I support exploring Emily's idea... if she is dealing with her own crisis she won't be thinking of you.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 Give it just one more try. Write a nice good old fashioned hand written letter,if you have no other ways to contact her. Then don't pressure her - let her choose if she wants to resume yr. friendship as it was, or not. At least you'll know you have tried anything possible. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (17 April 2010):
Have you spoken to her to see if she is ok?
If something bad has happened in her life then keeping up with friends may have slipped off her priorities list.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice, forgot to add that i've been trying to get an email reply for ages and had no luck... i hope she still cares about me because i care about her so much
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (17 April 2010):
Why don't you simply e-mail her telling her what you just told us ? That you consider her like a mom , that you are grateful for her support in bad times, that you miss your closeness and can't think of a reason why she has stopped talking to you. I would add that you want to know it because, in case you may unadvertently have done something to hurt her or displeased her, you want to know what is it exactly so that you can apologize or give explanations or anyway avoid repeating the mistake.
If your friend cares about your friendship, she may only be glad to have the chance to clear any possible misunderstanding between you.
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