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When and how are you supposed to know when the end to a relationship is coming?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 June 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 10 June 2014)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I wonder , now my ex girlfriend, I thought every thing was going fantastic, then one day in the park she said it was over, out of the blue. So what am asking, when and how are you supposed to know, when it is coming, I treated her good, her ex beat her she's back with him, an she is drinking but for three months, I thought she wasn't drinking, she told me she is an alcoholic, but now I believe she probably was drinking, I do not drink.

View related questions: alcoholic, ex girlfriend, her ex, my ex

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A female reader, Caring Aunty A Australia +, writes (10 June 2014):

Caring Aunty A agony auntI think you missed the queue card; it was over before it began!?

This wasn’t out of the blue as you may think… It’s the devil she knows; the ex beating her, the comfort she obtains from drinking, being accepted in and around a familiar environment, acting without lying about her drinking, as to being totally worthy of being treated well and staying sober!? They’re tough challenges for a confessed alcoholic.

Here your two worlds collided for whatever reason and for how long it lasted… the reality is you’re looking at this through sober eyes; unless you are a recovered alcoholic yourself, it won’t make any sense or logic, ‘cause there is no rhyme or reason.

Let it be – CCA

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 June 2014):

Honeypie agony auntSometime it's clear as day, sometimes it's not.

Don't beat yourself up for not knowing, or for her choosing to go back to the dud of an ex.

I would date someone less complicated next time.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2014):

You don't always see it coming.

It's pretty obvious if you aren't getting along, or your partner keeps too many secrets.

Insecurity and jealousy always brings a relationship to a grinding halt. You can only take so much of it; until you just give-up in frustration.

People can have a change of heart out of nowhere and blindside you. Your girlfriend had problems that you pretty much ignored. How could you not know a she was drinking? The smell on her breath and intoxication are a dead giveaway. She has confessed to being an alcoholic.

When communication and trust has broken-down between you, it is almost inevitable that a relationship is on its last legs.

Sometimes you know it's coming, or wish it were over. Other times you don't know until it happens. That's life.

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A male reader, methuselah United Kingdom +, writes (7 June 2014):

Hi,

Being distant from the partner, disinterested, lack of wanting to meet up etc. Sex and all that.

However, let her go now. She seems the type that can't cope with a good guy. Heaven forbid! There are people out there that are unable to break their pattern of dating 'losers.'

Perhaps they are insecure, think they are victims or rescuers.

But for you, it is time to move on. She really is not your type. Honestly. Best wishes.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (7 June 2014):

The signs vary, and some may not be them wanting out but just the normal progression of a relationship.

Pulling away is a good one. Too many arguments. No, or only a little bit of sex.

What you need to know is that this girl is dysfunctional. You aren't here type and if you know what's good for you she isn't your type either.

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