A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello I've been with my boyfriend of two years. We have a great relationship until summer comes around. Every summer My boyfriend loves to salt water fish and his summers are filled with tropical trips to the islands and lots and lots of fishing. I would love to go with him because I fish also but he is very determined to only keep it between the men. This leaves me at home most of the time by myself on the weekends. This summer in particular he is away on a business trip in the middle of the country where obviously there is not an ocean. Instead of coming back and spending time with me all he wants to do is fish. I have gone two months without seeing him. He recently just came home and instead of spending time with me he planned a trip to go fishing. Therefore I will go the whole summer (three months total) without seeing him until he comes back. I've gotten hobbies and hung out with friends in the meantime but Id just rather be with my boyfriend. Am I being too clingy? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (25 May 2014):
 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fever_Pitch_(2005_film)
This reminds of the Movie – Fever Pitch with Drew Barrymore (Lindsey a work-alcoholic Executive) and Jimmy Fallon (Ben a diehard Red Sox fan); except your boyfriend is a diehard fishing fanatic and you’d like him to be just a little more attentive to you than his fishing buddies etc... I believe that’s fair as you’re not asking him to choose or give his hobby away completely.
As in that Movie plot there’s a happy ending… Although in reality the only happy ending is by you going fishing for another sort of boyfriend.
Now after 2 years of this; men only and summer week-ends spent alone it’s getting rather ridiculous and neglectful.
I believe when you play together, you stay together. Meanwhile he’s off fishing in your 2nd year together… now you’ll have to wait another year to see if he’s prepared to forego a little of his fishing time and put a plan into action to take you somewhere.
What’s the bet he’ll be all promises and by next summer he cancels out and goes fishing with his buddies?
Take Care – CAA
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2014): Yeah, it's not fishing that's his hobby - YOU are his seasonal hobby.
Get rid. Now.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 May 2014):
 Your boyfriend is better suited to date a sole or a halibut, since he enjoys their company more than that of a human female.
I can understand being consumed by a passion, whether it be fishing or art or music etc.etc.
But, I think at some point people have to make a choice, either to give themselves totally, fully to their passion ( not coincidentally many artists are loners ), or to make adjustments and sacrifices in order to let partners into their life.
I would not call you clongy, since you'd be fine with just a modest part of his free time, i.e. you would not want him to spend all summer with you, you'd be content with the occasional weekend. Si, you are flexible- and he is not.
It does not sound very promising. Some times I am sick and tired myself to always advise " dump him, ditch him " and I regret not coming up with more brilliant solitions, but... you tell me,people, what can you do with a man who loves fish more than women ?!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (25 May 2014):
 He certainly seems quite comfortable with the idea of only having a part time girlfriend and its lovely that your relationship with him is great .... for part of the year, and what a shame his selfish nature wont allow him to let you impinge on his time and indulge in an activity you both enjoy and indulge in it together.
My question to you is this: why are you sitting around for three months not in a relationship, yet not quite single, while he goes off and does whatever he bloody well likes?
Why are you accepting that? Why are you accepting him choosing to spend time with his friends over you ... its not really choosing fishing over you is it, because he could quite easily spend one weekend in that three month period fishing with you!
Are you being clingy? Are doormats usually clingy?
You are throwing away the years you should be enjoying while he is living the life of Riley. Don't put up with it! You do not have to accept this treatment and you damn well shouldn't be accepting this treatment.
Imagine what sort of life you'll have if you stick with him and 5 or 10 years down the track you have a couple of kids. It does not bear thinking about.
Its time you gave some serious thought to what you want out of the rest of your life .... you've still got 60 to go. Do you want to be living for all those 60 years or only for some of them while you sit around waiting with your kids and your hobbies.
Get some gumption and throw this one back, there are plenty of better fish waiting for you!
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