New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244969 questions, 1084319 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

I'm hurting, in our 3 years he's cheated on me more than 5 times! How to prevent him from cheating again?

Tagged as: Crushes, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 June 2013) 13 Answers - (Newest, 3 June 2013)
A female South Africa age 26-29, *uting t33 writes:

im currently in a relationship of 3 years and since we have been together my boy friend has cheated on me more than 5 time, and he just repeated now so I just don't know what to do! and he keeps on saying he loves me when I dump him... so how do I deal with this problem? what might be the prevention for him to cheat?

View related questions: cheated on me

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2013):

The best and the most affective way to stop this man from cheating on you is to break up with him. Move on and don't look back.

He is not going to change and he is not going to ever be a man you can trust. If he truly loved you, he would not be cheating on you. He is scum, he knows what he is doing and he is far from a man actually. He's a self-centered pig. You continue to be a doormat, he will continue to walk all over you. Repeatedly.

You need to be strong and you need to stand up for yourself and believe you are worthy of a man who will love you and honor you. You deserve a man who will not cheat in your relationship if that is what you expect. Start requiring more from a man and don't accept anything less. Then, you will find who the real men are from the losers.

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (3 June 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntThere is NOTHING you can do to make him stop cheating.

he's not a very good boyfriend and he does NOT love you.

he will ALWAYS cheat on you.

you have two choices:

1. accept that he's a liar and a cheater and he puts you at risk and say nothing. (NOT what I would want for you

2. end the relationship and walk away... he says he loves you but he does not show you.... he lies, he cheats, he puts you at risk.

WALK away as soon as you can and do not look back.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, GrYmsin United States +, writes (3 June 2013):

Ok, the only way to stop him from cheating on you is. . .to dump his psthetic ass. THAT'S the only way you can ensure he'll never fool around on you again. Or you could pick Door #2 and stay with him, continuing to suffer. Your call.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (3 June 2013):

He'll never quit because you'll never leave him for it. He just has to apologize and tell you he's sorry and it'll never happen again and you'll take him back.

Prevent him from cheating by having an open relationship. You can have sex with whomever you want, as can he. See how he likes it. Or break up with him, then he'll never cheat on you.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (3 June 2013):

oldbag agony auntHi

Dump his sorry ass if he really loved you he would never cheat.

He is not going to change, ever.

There are plenty others out there for you to date and meet who will treat you as you should be, with respect.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2013):

Being in a relationship with someone unfaithful is like paddling on a river that winds into the direction away from your destination. You continue on hoping that the river will somehow wind back to the right path but sadly the river takes you further & further away from your destination & you end up being hopelessly lost. You cannot change the course of the river, so make sure you know what kind of river will get you to the destination you desire.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, shrodingerscat United States +, writes (3 June 2013):

shrodingerscat agony auntThe only person on this planet that you can control is you.

Take that information and do with it what you think is best for your long-term happiness.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, chrissy911 Canada +, writes (3 June 2013):

He will never change - once a cheater - always a cheater - period!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (3 June 2013):

person12345 agony auntYou can't prevent him cheating, you just have to dump him and leave for good. He will never ever change, no matter what he says.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Caring Aunty A Australia +, writes (3 June 2013):

Caring Aunty A agony auntAfter MORE THAN 5 TIMES…! I honestly do not think you should do anything about him cheating, but ask why you allow yourself to stay and put up with this behaviour!?

The prevention for him to cheat would be for his penis to be surgically removed or wait till it drops off with a disease… Meanwhile you’ve given him the blueprint – permission to continue and repeat with that same behaviour over and over again.

The other prevention would be; if he didn’t have a girlfriend in his life then he wouldn’t be cheating! He’d just be playing around looking for whatever is loose on the scene?

Take Care – CAA

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2013):

"and he keeps on saying he loves me when I dump him..."

Translation: He keeps lying shamelessly to weasel his way back into your affections when you catch him cheating on you, and you are dumb and/or desperate enough to keep believing him because he's telling you exactly what you want to hear.

If he really loved you, then he wouldn't be treating you with such contempt and if you had any self-esteem, then you'd realize that he really doesn't love you at all.

"so how do I deal with this problem? what might be the prevention for him to cheat?"

The prevention for cheating is not tolerating it. He will continue cheating on you as long as you keep letting him get away with it, which is what you're doing every time you take him back, which is why he'll keep cheating.

Don't believe what he says, believe what he does. Men can disrespect women who respect themselves. For once muster up the strength, smarts, self-respect, pride and dignity to dump him for good.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Tantivy United Kingdom +, writes (3 June 2013):

The only way to prevent him from cheating on you is to break up with him. Nobody who loves you would ever cheat on you.

Find yourself somebody better who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. And, next time, if anyone ever cheats dump them the first them and then move on.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2013):

You can't stop him from cheating. He's just manipulating you every time he tells you he loves you - which is complete BS because if he respected and cherished you, he wouldn't have cheated on you in the first place, let alone on multiple occasions.

Dump this guy and don't let his cheap words sway you. He doesn't care about you and you shouldn't care about him. Move on and find someone better.

Don't cook up excuses and lie to yourself. Don't convince yourself he's a good guy because he's not. Don't think it's because you've done something wrong either.

JUST DUMP HIM. Three years might seem like a waste, but you've got years ahead of you.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "I'm hurting, in our 3 years he's cheated on me more than 5 times! How to prevent him from cheating again?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0468743999990693!