A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex and me have been broken up for a while now but we still talked every so often. He recently got diagnosis with cancer. He lives a few hours away. I've tried to help him as much as possible because his family lives in a different state. here is the situation I've been with my new boyfriend have been together for a couple of months now. He doesn't know about the my ex. I've been scared of losing. My current b/f and I have a great relationship, we always talk about everything, but I haven't told him about my ex cause I don't want him to not understand or leave me. What should I do, Help my ex secretly or let my boyfriend know?
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female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (14 June 2013):
 If you want to have a happy and positive relationship with your current boyfriend then I seriously recommend that you be honest with him! Because if he ever found out that you were helping your ex behind his back ...trust will be out the window and that's not easily rebuilt!
In addition, the situation with your ex will not appear innocent if its done secretly! Your bf will always be suspicious that more went on because you did not tell him! Just talk to him. xx
A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (14 June 2013):
 I find nothing wrong with showing compassion towards your Ex-boyfriend or ex-whomever… It shows although that relationship didn’t work out for you both back then; I guess today there’s no great deal of ill-will felt between you?Now that he’s ailing you exercise compassion and help towards him as much as possible. I find that commendable and I’m sure he’s appreciative of you without formulating any strings attached as you have a new boyfriend. I believe this new bf should recognise the good nature and compassionate spirit in you for doing this for another human being.From experience in short, I had an old boyfriend who’d sporadically call before and after I meet my new partner – T. I told T straight up surprise, surprise, would you believe who just called? My Ex from… and proceeded to tell him the story. Naturally this news pressed his insecure buttons, but hey I wasn’t on an island before.However if you haven’t been straight up with your new boyfriend I can understand you having reservations in telling him now about an ailing ex-boyfriend you’ve been tending to. Yet it’s only been 2 months and even I’m not compelled to disclose every single detail until necessary. But now would be a good time for you because I think it’s necessary for all concerned.Take Care – CAA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2013): I'd be open and tell your current bf what the situation is. That way he knows exactly what's going on, and that you're not cheating. Even suggest him travelling with you or whatever if he wants to check that you're behaving (though it sounds like you guys have a good relationship :) )
Good luck!
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