A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So my ex broke up with me 3 months ago after I broke her heart by writing a goodbye message to her and ignoring her for two weeks, then showing up like nothing happened. (I was angry at her for a number of reasons, which I should have talked to her about instead of doing this).After that she didn't even tell me it was "over", but instead started a silent treatment that has lasted to this day. Sometimes she sends me stuff like "Don't bother writing to me" even though I'm sure she reads everything I write to her from start to finish, because when I tell her to do something she always does the exact opposite of what I ask of her, just to mess with my head. She goes to great lengths to do these things to get back at me, even at the cost of her job. I don't understand what she is doing. I'm sure she still cares about me because she isn't willing to block or delete my number or fb.I suspect she has put up some kind of emotional barriers just to push me away, out of fear of being hurt again, but deep down I think she still loves me very much. I've tried to explain and apologize for everything a million times, tried giving her space too. Nothing seems to work. What should I do?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 December 2012):
 What you suspect is what you want to believe.
you have apologized.
you have left her alone
she may not have blocked you on phone and facebook because she does not need to block you for her healing... I have not blocked my ex husband but for him to think that is a sign that I want him back is ludicrous...
you need to accept she is done with you and move on.
A
male
reader, Guruburu  +, writes (22 December 2012):
Leave your ex alone. You've already broken up with her. You ended it. It's over. Quit harassing her and move on and grow up some.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2012): You have breached her trust, understand that you deserve what you are getting. Tell her calmly and in one instance that you know what you did was wrong and it happened because you were distraught, but still love her and repent for your actions. But give her some space, don't harass her.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (22 December 2012):
Apologizing a million times only makes it worse because you are continuously reminding her that you screwed up. It seems obvious that the relationship is over, but if you can't accept that you at least need to back off for a little. You probably blew it, hopefully you learned your lesson
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (22 December 2012):
Please just leave her alone. You broke up with her and didn't bother to contact her for 2 weeks. She doesn't have to tell you the relationship is over because you already broke up with her.
It is over. Please be an adult. Stop being spiteful and stop harassing her.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2012): I do have the same problem with my girlfriend. In terms of that all I can say to you is to give her time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2012): It seems to me that she is doing a tit for tat. You did start all of this. You're old enough to express your feelings without pulling this passive aggressive
stunt. Not trying to be rude, but you asked for it. She wants you to hurt in the same manner that you hurt her. Its all very immature to me. You have sons serious growing up to do. Leave her be and learn from this and don't repeat this behavior in the future.
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A
female
reader, janetenneshehan  +, writes (22 December 2012):
 I would give her a bit of space, but then gift her her favorite flowers or something. Do something nice out of the blue to show her how sorry you are and that you're still thinking of her. Let her know that you want to work things out and everything can be worked out! Good Luck!
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