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*andid Cally

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Friendships, like all relationships, begin when like-minded people meet on common ground.

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I'm obsessed with the married man I had an affair with, and he told me that he wishes I were dead! How could he say such hateful things to me?

Q.   I had an affair with a married man, he broke it off and it was not pretty. I told his wife...to make a long story short...I would send him cards every once in a while..I think I'm obsessed with him. We ride motorcycles and he is a member of a MC ...

A.   7 August 2012: Your hurt is completely justified. What he did was nasty and unfair to both you and his wife. All you can do now is learn from this negative experience to ensure that no man ever takes advantage of you like this again. If there is a potentia... (read in full...)

I "trapped" her, she fell for it, now she wants me to give her another chance. Should I?

Q.   Hello to all Aunts and Uncles! Really need your help here! I will try to be as detailed as possible as I want to try and give both sides of the story so apologies for what might be quite a lengthy story. I had been single for about 2 y...

A.   5 August 2012: You two need to sit down and have an in depth, honest and open conversation about what you are looking for in a relationship, religion or lack thereof, political views, pets/allergies, whether you want children and if so how many, whether you are ... (read in full...)

I'm obsessed with the married man I had an affair with, and he told me that he wishes I were dead! How could he say such hateful things to me?

Q.   I had an affair with a married man, he broke it off and it was not pretty. I told his wife...to make a long story short...I would send him cards every once in a while..I think I'm obsessed with him. We ride motorcycles and he is a member of a MC ...

A.   5 August 2012: By sending him cards, do you mean mailing them to his house where he lives with his wife? If the answer is yes, he said those nasty things to you because you are STILL causing problems for him and his wife. Did you ever think about how his wife... (read in full...)

Everything he told me is a lie!

Q.   I met a guy 7 months ago on a social networking site. He's younger than me by 5 years. We talk all the time, we have times where we lose contact. Which is usually when make plans to meet up and he flakes and leaves me hanging. Despite him doing ...

A.   4 August 2012: Most likely, he does not want to meet up with you because he is not the person he is pretending to be. Most likely, he is someone who copied pictured of the rapper from google and is using them. Some people use the internet to deceive others. ... (read in full...)

Did my ex-girlfriend cheat on my birthday with her other lover?

Q.   My ex of four years and I just had a nasty break up. I outed her of her cheating ways and hyper-sexuality due to bi polar and other mental illnesses. Months ago, I found out about an affair that she had with someone that she met on craigslist, last ...

A.   4 August 2012: Your red flags don't make sense. Unless you have concrete PROOF she cheated, everything can be explained by coincidence. Also, are you certain she even remembered it was your birthday? Did you remind her? Were you planning on celebrating it on a ... (read in full...)

I'm in a bad situation with my husband and really need some advice!

Q.   Okay so I'm legally married, my husband in the past has hit me before and is extremely verabally abusive. We have an 2 year child together, I decided I wanted out of the marriage for my daughters sake because she can already tell how he treats me ...

A.   3 August 2012: You need to call up lawyers in your area that specialize in family law and divorces. You need to find a lawyer who will fight for you AND will file the necessary paperwork to make your husband pay for the lawyer's services. (yes, a good lawyer can ... (read in full...)

Struggling to maintain an erection....

Q.   Ill bring this to the board I guess... Im strugglin maintaining and sometimes even getting wood in the bedroom. It doesnt matter if its a woman who desires me or not I fave the issue. My thing is this I feel that if I do not look a certain way and ...

A.   3 August 2012: Are you looking for a long term relationship with a woman, or are you just looking for women to hook up with? What are your goals when it comes to the type of relationship you desire with a woman? Finally, i think sex therapy didn't work for ... (read in full...)

I'm in a bad situation with my husband and really need some advice!

Q.   Okay so I'm legally married, my husband in the past has hit me before and is extremely verabally abusive. We have an 2 year child together, I decided I wanted out of the marriage for my daughters sake because she can already tell how he treats me ...

A.   27 July 2012: Right now you need to focus on only yourself and your daughter. If you are still married and not divorced, you are technically having an affair with the boyfriend. This is infidelity and does not look good to a judge. It would be a good idea to ... (read in full...)

Is she cheating on me?

Q.   I have been with my gf for almost 9 years. Like everyone else we have ups and down but I caught her in a lie several months ago and have been suspicious ever since.she signed up for a website and I just happened to find it. I confronted her and she ...

A.   26 July 2012: You need to ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly: How do you treat her? Are you controlling? Do you find it amusing to say or do things that make her uncomfortable in front of friends and family? (hint: it isn't a 'joke... (read in full...)

How do you bring up mental illness in a delicate way?

Q.   I always thought something was off with my BF until recently when I found out for sure there's something very off. I found tiny, secret cameras hidden in small holes all over our apartment, my mail was opened by him, and I think he records my ...

A.   26 July 2012: If you have written this from a home computer, or a phone he has access to it is possible he knows you have written this and does not trust you. Next, if you rent the house, it is possible that the landlord is a voyeur and is taping everythi... (read in full...)

Working so hard during term time means I always get ill during the holidays! How do I stop this?

Q.   I'm at college and need some advice. I work really hard all year to try and get the best grades that I can. At the moment I am working at grades A and B however whenever the holidays come around I always get ill. I usually stay behind at college ...

A.   15 February 2012: Avoid sitting near people who are sick. Wash your hands with soap and water frequently and especially before eating. Wash your hands after using the bathroom at school. Do NOT touch the handle to turn the water off with your bare hands (use ... (read in full...)

Female hygiene question....

Q.   hi a question for the ladies on dc. This is a question on female hygiene. How uncomfortable is it for you the day after a night of sex if you dont have time for a shower in the morning. I bring this up as my partner said she didnt want sex after she ...

A.   15 February 2012: It can be unpleasant and if the guy isn't wearing a condom there is definitely a bit of a mess and a lingering odor if a girl doesn't wash up afterwards. Some women are also more likely to develop bladder or urinary tract infections if they do ... (read in full...)

This was a bit vulgar to say to me on Valentines day, should I be offended?

Q.   So I've been dating this guy for a few months. Everything has been going pretty good for the most part. Then yesterday, he kind of threw me for a loop. He sent me a text that said "Blow jobs are like flowers for guys on Valentine's Day". I was ...

A.   15 February 2012: Guys like blow jobs. He was trying to be 'cute' so you would consider giving him one later in the evening. If he had known it would have offended or upset you, he probably wouldn't have said it. If my fiancé hadn't been exhausted from working ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is angry with me for wanting to go on a diet

Q.   ive been thinking about going on celebrity slim diet, my friend went on it and she lost loads of weight, so i asked her about it, and she mentioned it to my boyfriend at work and he went mad at me.. Its nice to know he likes me how i am, but this is ...

A.   30 January 2012: Diets that cause someone to lose quite a bit of weight very fast almost always have repercussions once the diet is stopped. Usually, the individual puts the weight back on (sometimes even more), and it can start a long-term cycle of engaging in fad ... (read in full...)

How do I tell my parents I'm going to date the boy who used to bully me?

Q.   hey, i like this guy, and i am going to try it out with him. except a month ago this boy was bullying me only because he was with this new girl who did not like me, he was only doing it cause he was under peer pressure. he has loved me for lik...

A.   30 January 2012: First, because he has bullied you, you need to be absolutely certain that his intention to date you is pure. When I was younger, I too was bullied by guys in my class. There was a dance coming up, and a couple of the boys who had been bullying... (read in full...)

Can someone love you if you don't love yourself?

Q.   hey i was wonderweing, can someone love you if you dont love yourself? or how can you love yourself?...

A.   8 January 2012: I used to have low self esteem, an eating disorder, and would self-harm...all of this and my hate toward myself has completely faded in the almost eight years I have been with my fiance. He loved the good aspects of my personality, and I loved hi... (read in full...)

How can I become my husband's best friend?

Q.   i have been married 14 year and the first couple of years were good but then i got insecure and snooped and as he says i was controlling him for a long time. I have been going to counseling but haven't quite been there the last couple months b...

A.   8 January 2012: This has nothing to do with you. He is a rat...controlling you... It looks like you snooped BECAUSE you didn't trust him. He is being the manipulator, not you. He is using your illness as an excuse to not confide in you. The truth is, if he ha... (read in full...)

The elephant in the room wont go away

Q.   I wrote several months ago about my husband's old secret destroying both a marraige and friendship. Friend turned out to be an uknown to me old lover who was trying to destroy my marraige over the years by saying nasty things. I was so called ...

A.   8 January 2012: I do not understand why avoiding one woman would cost your husband his group of friends. Is there any way that you, your husband, this woman, and a skilled mediator could sit down for a session to clear the air and restore some civility... (read in full...)

Why do most girls prefer to let hell freeze before speaking up and telling a guy they like them? Rejection isn't a good enough excuse.

Q.   Hello! My name is Scott and I have a question about women. "Why is it that most women would let hell freeze before they tell a guy they like them?" I'm pretty sick and tired of asking girls this and the only thing they can think of is not w...

A.   8 January 2012: For me it was the way I was raised. I had a conservative catholic upbringing, so what I am about to write may seem almost archaic but...i was told that a man should always ask a woman and any woman who pursued a man and made her intentions known ... (read in full...)

My mom will not help. How old do I need to be to get birth control without a parents permission and without prescription?

Q.   I was just curious about how old i have to be to get birth control without a parents permission or without prescription. I'm 14 now, and i know i shouldn't be on it now, but it's not what you think. I have horrible cramps to the point that i stay ...

A.   7 January 2012: If you have painful irregular periods, a doctor may prescribe a hormone medication to help regulate them. You can NOT get the pill without a prescription. The best thing you can do, of you aren't already is keep track of your menstrual cycle on... (read in full...)

My girlfriend manipulates me into feeling guilty!

Q.   I recently broke up with my girlfriend. We seem to get into arguments that I believe are over small stupid things, but she doesn't see it that. I rarely stand up for myself, but after this last one I have just had enough. This is what happened:...

A.   7 January 2012: I would like to point out that you attempted to KISS her, while probably Infected with STREP THROAT which is highly CONTAGEOUS. Honestly, I have pushed my fiancé away for trying to kiss me when he had it last. You have to try to see that episode ... (read in full...)

Why has he changed again? His excuse is he's afraid of me getting pregnant but I'm not so sure....

Q.   Why has he changed again? I dated this guy 2 years ago now for a year, it eventually ended because i wanted more and told him i loved him and he stated he was 'fond' of me! I missed him terribly and we eventually got back together 5 months ago after ...

A.   13 December 2011: Explain to him that you are taking effective precautions to avoid becoming pregnant. If you do not want any more children, tell him this as well. Explain to him that he needs to get over this exaggerated fear of you becoming pregnant for the sake... (read in full...)

Self conscious about my eye, how do I deal with people who make fun of me for this?

Q.   So first of all, im blind in 1 eye. I don't feel like going into detail about it but I can say ive have a lot problems that have come along with it. If I look even the slightest bit upwards my blind eye goes completely crosseyed and it has been very ...

A.   13 December 2011: What they was childish and cruel. You could always ask them nicely what is so funny or what the joke is. If that doesn't guilt them into behaving immediately and they so much as mention 'your eye' in response, you can then retort, "really, you ... (read in full...)

Have any girls on here gone to a bar alone?

Q.   I have been on my own for a long time now. It has been bothering me for a while but it has only become a problem recently. I don't have particularly great coping skills and feelings of loneliness have become overwhelming. I really need to make some ...

A.   13 December 2011: Like you mentioned, going to the bar as a female alone and without any friends is dangerous. Women who have done this have unfortunately been taken advantage of and have even become victims of violent crime. There are other, much safer ways to ... (read in full...)

How can I stay positive, if I feel that my life is ruined by bad fate or bad luck?

Q.   How can you keep positive attitude, if all what happens in your life , makes you miserable? I tried my best in life, but I got really bad cards to play with. So things will not turn around any time soon, also some of the bad things caused perm...

A.   12 December 2011: I've found that the more positive I was especially when things felt like they were kind of in my control, the worse I felt when something happened completely out of my control that took it all away. My mother gave me some good advice when I was at... (read in full...)

Discovered his secret phone and dating site registrations...but he has managed to turn it around on me for violating his privacy!

Q.   I discovered that my boyfriend of 4 years has been registered on several dating sites and texting off a secret cell phone. I asked him what he thought he was doing and he went very serious and asked me why I have violated his privacy. He has offered ...

A.   12 December 2011: You ask him why he felt the need to violate your trust and the integrity of your relationship by having dating profiles while he was supposed to be in an exclusive relationship with you and a secret phone used to text others. You wouldn't have fel... (read in full...)

Have I lost my virginity and could I be pregnant?

Q.   Hi...I'm a 21year old and I'm still a virgin so I'm really clueless about sex. My boyfriend and I were making out so things got heated, we both ended with just our underwear on. I don't know if this is regarded dry sex or not but I was laying flat ...

A.   12 December 2011: Have you missed your period?... (read in full...)

Other women don't get on with my fiance, help!

Q.   Hi i just wonder if theres anyone out their who can give me some advice. I have been with my fiance for coming on 9 years, she is a beautiful, caring although sometimes hotheaded woman lol but all in all she is a good girl with great morals. We have ...

A.   12 December 2011: I can tell you why they are behaving like they are, but I do not know how to fix their behavior. Women, especially younger women, often feel threatened by women who have had friendships with and known their boyfriends longer than they have bee... (read in full...)

My ex dumped me because of my body hair and now I am so insecure over this!

Q.   so I have a bit of an insecurity and a recent boyfriend who dumped me over it has made me feel so much worse about it. I am asian and I do have some excess body hair. my back and stomach are quite hairy. I pretty much have some hair all over my...

A.   12 December 2011: If you haven't already, you NEED to speak with a doctor. Having body hair is natural for women who are from certain ethnic backgrounds. (I'm half Italian, and I'm covered in hair. It isn't extremely noticeable to others because it is blonde, but ... (read in full...)

I worry about my stomach rumbles in class. How can I shake this off and get this worried stress out my brain?

Q.   It's my senior year in high school and I can't enjoy it because I have my mind set on worrying about something stupid. I can't help but to think about my stomach making funny noises. I can't focus on paying attention and doing my work because when...

A.   12 December 2011: Most people around you cannot hear your stomach making noises and even if they can, they probably understand. Some kinds of noises that our bodies make SEEM louder to us when we experience them, while other people around us can't hear them all... (read in full...)

I feel trapped within my marriage..

Q.   when we were living together , he acted generous, he paid whenever we went out to eat, but now that we're married and have a baby, he's been bickering with me that I should be the one working while he stays at home and watch the baby; he said women ...

A.   12 December 2011: You should not stay in the marriage. Your child will grow up knowing mommy and daddy don't love each other and will think this sort of thing is normal. You need to get out. You need to do it safely and as soon as possible. If you are writ... (read in full...)

My partner refuses to acknowledge that alcohol affects his performance and always blames me or tiredness or stress for his brewer's droop

Q.   I am so angry with my partner right now. He got back from a 4 week business trip and he was telling me how much he missed me and was looking forward to coming home and when he got home that night he started having a few drinks which turned in to ...

A.   11 December 2011: There are many songs written and sung by men that include the phrase "Too drunk to f***" Perhaps you could play a few (even though they are crass) for your partner to let him know there is a point where a man is just too drunk to get an erection... (read in full...)

I feel trapped within my marriage..

Q.   when we were living together , he acted generous, he paid whenever we went out to eat, but now that we're married and have a baby, he's been bickering with me that I should be the one working while he stays at home and watch the baby; he said women ...

A.   10 December 2011: He is not telling you the truth. He knows that you are not an attorney and would not know certain things. You need to talk to a lawyer. While he may be able to represent himself (although that will not be a great idea for him if he himself ... (read in full...)

I feel trapped within my marriage..

Q.   when we were living together , he acted generous, he paid whenever we went out to eat, but now that we're married and have a baby, he's been bickering with me that I should be the one working while he stays at home and watch the baby; he said women ...

A.   10 December 2011: You need to talk to a lawyer who specializes in family law. The sooner you do this, the sooner you can begin to take the necessary steps for you and your infant to move forward in life. You may want to consider locating a shelter for women. ... (read in full...)

He has cut me out of his life but he was the liar!

Q.   im sure theres something wrong with me because this keeps playing on my mind and i cant shake it off. i was very good friends with a guy until i discovered he had been lying to me since day 1 -found out through various means and i was very hurt as i ...

A.   8 December 2011: He is manipulative. You must have had some suspicions if you decided to discover his true nature using various means. Was this relationship only a friendship, or was it something more to you? Did he seem to give you attention and affectio... (read in full...)

Pill question?

Q.   Hi, I've tried finding out about this but nowhere seems to give me a concrete answer so thought I'd ask here! I take the contraceptive pill, I finished my pack on Sunday so this week is meant to be my period. Problem is, I'm meant to be staying over ...

A.   8 December 2011: Xlaurenx is correct. The only thing I would like to add is that you may want to speak with your doctor at your next appointment just to make sure that taking packs of birth control pills consecutively without taking the inactive pills, is medica... (read in full...)

Tips for easing a very bad back!!

Q.   Hello again everyone. My bf has a very bad back, he broke it in a car crash back in 2006, he crushed one the vertebrae at the base of his spine. Now he's sort of learned to live with it, but there are times when it is very painful for him, ...

A.   7 December 2011: Either a hot pack or a cold pack should help. (it will depend on his personal preference, and how his muscles are feeling at the time.). Both my fiancée and I seem to prefer a hot pack applied to the area for at least 15 minutes before a massage. ... (read in full...)

Would you be willing to be friends with a transgender?

Q.   I suppose this is more a question than seeking advise but as a person that is transgender I am curious to know how people really view someone like me. I'm female born in a male body. I've never known anyone els like me and friends from my youth put ...

A.   7 December 2011: Whether someone is transgender (passable or not) has absolutely nothing to do with whether I would or wouldn't consider a person a friend. I'm willing to be friends with anyone as long as they are a good, honest, easygoing person who genuinel... (read in full...)

The big question ... What do girls think when ....

Q.   What do girls think when they see a decent-looking guy with a fat, ugly girlfriend? What do they assume about him? I'm pretty sure that if a guy is seen with a hot girl, people think he must be something special. So is it the opposite if he's...

A.   4 December 2011: Honestly, I wouldn't be bothered by either scenario as long as they appear happy with one another. Some people like their partner to be heavier than average. Others genuinely love the person inside and aren't put off by an enterior that do... (read in full...)

What does "seeing someone" mean to you?

Q.   I have been seeing this guy for around a month now and still in the seeing each other stage though not sure exactly what this means are we exclusive or not, does it mean we one step away from bf and gf? What does seeing someone mean to you?...

A.   4 December 2011: To me it means exclusivity, but I'm a bit old-fashioned. What is important, is what it means to you and whether it means the same thing to your man. Why not ask him what he feels your relationship is?... (read in full...)

Does he want me to move on?

Q.   i don't know how to take this. recently the man i've been involved with for a better part of 5 yrs responded to an email i sent him wishing him and his family a Happy Thanksgiving. Mind you this was the first time i attempted to write to him...

A.   4 December 2011: Do you want to make yourself available to sex with a man who only wants you for that purpose? If you had moved on completely from this man and were seein another you were compatible with not only sexually, but also emotionally, would you even con... (read in full...)

My husband is a true conflict phobic, is never assertive and its causing a lot of problems for us

Q.   My husband is a very gentle guy, and does not like to argue with anybody. He hates conflicts, and whenever he can ,he trying to avoid them. He is a true conflict phobic. I love him, and it makes him a very kind father, and husband. But sadly it ...

A.   4 December 2011: Take photos of the damage and document when they were paid, your attempts to contact them, and any conversations you have had with them regarding the damage. Keep track of people you spoke to, and the dates you spoke with them. If the contract... (read in full...)

Does he want me to move on?

Q.   i don't know how to take this. recently the man i've been involved with for a better part of 5 yrs responded to an email i sent him wishing him and his family a Happy Thanksgiving. Mind you this was the first time i attempted to write to him...

A.   4 December 2011: Something else is going on here that you are unaware of. He told you he had hoped you would move on while he was gone. Likely, your moving on to someone else would make you sexually unavailable to him. This is just a guess, but it seems like he ... (read in full...)

Does he want me to move on?

Q.   i don't know how to take this. recently the man i've been involved with for a better part of 5 yrs responded to an email i sent him wishing him and his family a Happy Thanksgiving. Mind you this was the first time i attempted to write to him...

A.   4 December 2011: Something else is going on here that you are unaware of. He told you he had hoped you would move on while he was gone. Likely, your moving on to someone else would make you sexually unavailable to him. This is just a guess, but it seems like he ... (read in full...)

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