I have to have surgery and I'm afraid
Q. im really really really scared about my scoliosis surgery i have the feeling im going to die or something will go wrong, or i will be paralysed forever. what is the chance something will go wrong? is it as bad as i think it is? i don't like the i...
A. 25 October 2012: I didn't see that the surgery was for scoliosis. I know two girls that I went to middle school with has scoliosis surgery and both came out perfectly fine.
I also have one friend who wasn't diagnosed with scoliosis until her late 20s. She was ... (read in full...)
Ladies: Is it a deal breaker if a guy is bald?
Q. I have a crush on this kinda shy younger girl I work with. She's very cool, shy, friendly and I happen to think she's beautiful. The problem is I'm 10 years older than her and I'm bald. We wear hats where we work so she probably doesn't know thi...
A. 25 October 2012: Patrick Stewart (the bald Captian Picard from Star Trek the Next Generation) was voted sexiest man alive in 1992. Additionally, he has placed very high in other 'sexiest man' features for different publications.
You, sir, are in good company ... (read in full...)
With our different bodies, what positions would work the best?
Q. I have a question about my boyfriend and I with sex. He is 5'5 with a long torso and short legs while I am 5'4 with a short torso and long legs. The sex is amazing, but I want to know what positions can we do for me to get more penetration and to ...
A. 25 October 2012: You on top should work as well.... (read in full...)
I shouldn’t feel like an outcast in a house I’m paying to stay in.
Q. I live with this girl and her mum and two other students while I go to college as its closer to the college rather than commuting for 2 hours daily. Last year we got on great together, e.g. going out on nights out etc. this year since she has ...
A. 25 October 2012: It sounds like your getting on well and joking around with her boyfriend has been interpreted as flirting with him.
Have you tried sitting down with her when you two are alone so you can ask her what is wrong? Have you tried calmly asking h... (read in full...)
It's beyond me. What kind of help does my wife need about her fetish? She seems to want to get sick. I'm at a loss. Does she need help?
Q. I'm 31, my wife's 28, and recently she's developed a new fetish. She's become hooked on getting a stomach-ache having read webforums and sites about 'stomachache fetishes', and eats a lot of rich food in order to get it. She keeps going on a...
A. 25 October 2012: Most likely it is the act of stuffing herself with food that is the turn on. (the stomach, when very full, can sit on the sexual organs in the pelvis and cause the person to feel aroused.) likely, She just associates the stomach pain with her ... (read in full...)
Would a guy choose a physical attraction over an emotional attachment?
Q. I am interested in hearing male and female opinions on my question. If a guy liked two girls, which one would win out in the end, the one he has a physical connection to or the one he has an emotional connection to? Both women are attractive and h...
A. 25 October 2012: Personally, I've watched more than one guy string along two women for extended periods of time by telling both of them that he 'wasn't interested in anything serious' and 'lets just say we're friends with benefits for now.'
If a woman is already ... (read in full...)
What's his game? Is he trying to use me as a booty call?
Q. I met this guy at a club. He had dinner and we went his place but I refused to have sex. Two days later he invited me to come to his brother's birthday party. I went there but we didn't had sex. then he invited me to come over his place to...
A. 23 October 2012: It is time to stop worrying about this guy and whether he thought you were a booty call or not. This is the fourth time you have asked this question since June and you have been worrying about this one thing for FOUR months now.
Please see answ... (read in full...)
I have to have surgery and I'm afraid
Q. im really really really scared about my scoliosis surgery i have the feeling im going to die or something will go wrong, or i will be paralysed forever. what is the chance something will go wrong? is it as bad as i think it is? i don't like the i...
A. 23 October 2012: When I was 13, I noticed a bulge in my right groin area. It turned out to be a hernia and I had surgery scheduled to repair it. I was also given the option to have exploratory surgery on the left side (10% of children/teens who have a hernia have ... (read in full...)
Why suddenly can my husband not keep an erection?
Q. My husband has recently done the unthinkable in the bedroom, and I don't know why. The reason I say "Unthinkable" casue to me, its out of character for him. We are two very sexual people and enjoy eachother. I seem to think that its myself, however, ...
A. 23 October 2012: I think he needs to see a doctor to rule out a medical problem. If he is completely healthy, the doctor can prescribe medication tht can help your husband maintain an erection.... (read in full...)
IPhone addict? Sending a picture of himself in some of my clothing? What can I do about his addiction to his phone?
Q. My husband has recently become obsessed, and I mean obsessed with his iPhone. The iPhone isn't new, he's had it since January, so it's not like a kid with a new toy at Christmas, but he spends hours on social networking sites with it, and spends m...
A. 23 October 2012: I often spend hours every day online on my ipod touch; however, I don't visit social networking sites any more (i don't like the level of integration between apps and how easy it is to accidentially 'like' a tragic news story when I'm simply trying ... (read in full...)
A friend of my Bf keeps offering him smokes. My Bf knows I don't like this. Do I have the right to ask him to refuse to smoke?
Q. My boyfriend of 6 months very occasionally smokes ~ I've only seen him do it a couple of times, and every time this has been when he has been with his one friend who I'll call 'C'. I'm not completely sure what it is that C smokes, but I think it's ...
A. 23 October 2012: "sweet smelling herbal thing" sounds like either herbal cigarettes (many don't contain tobacco) or clove/kretek cigarettes or cigars. Marijuana has a very distinct odor that is usually very pungent and not sweet.
Personally, I think you should s... (read in full...)
I'm so good looking, its annoying! How can I approach a guy for sex without getting into anything serious?
Q. I am good looking to the limit of annoyance, it caused me a great deal of trouble looking the way I do. I had major psychological issues because of my looks, I isolated my self thinking everyone interested in me because I am pretty I felt li...
A. 23 October 2012: Why not pursue a man who is as attractive as you are?... (read in full...)
Just lost my virginity, what can I expect?
Q. Hey guys, soo me and my boyfriend had sex like less then a week ago. It was my first time. I was just wondering if their are any post-sex like "symptoms" I should know about. I've been pretty sore and I don't know if that is normal I also heard ...
A. 23 October 2012: I was very sore for a few days after losing my virginity and also sore after having sex at least half a dozen times after I lost my virginity. It is normal.
If you are having pain and burning during urination, you may have developed a UTI due ... (read in full...)
She doesn't like vibrators what else can she do?
Q. My girlfriend likes to masturbate by rubbing her clit through her panties. I was wondering if any women who also like to orgasm like that have any suggestions on other things she might like? BTW she doesn't really like vibrators. Oh yeah, ...
A. 23 October 2012: Is her method causing her pain in her neck/shoulder or numbness in her fingers or forearms? If so, she could be overusing the muscles and damaging the soft tissue in her joints...essentially, she could be developing a repetetive stress injury from ... (read in full...)
I am not in a relationship and too ashamed to tell my father. I bought a doll as comfort
Q. I am 21 years old. I never had a boyfriend, never been on a date, none of that. It's not like I never wanted it. I've tried looking for a boyfriend since I was 13 to no avail. I heard many people telling me that you find one when you're not looking. ...
A. 16 October 2012: Young women who engage in self-harming behaviors (bulimia is as much self-harm as cutting) usually have deep-seated issues that need to be addressed by a counselor. Having a relationship will not fix you or make you feel happy.
You need professi... (read in full...)
Family Guest arriving soon. Is it okay to put a rubber(?) mattress cover on the double bed where they will be sleeping alone?
Q. Okay, this is an odd question and probably doesn't belong here, but... We have some guests coming soon. One of them is a bit mentally challenged. The last time we saw this person, they smelled terribly of urine. Is it okay to put a rubber(?) ...
A. 16 October 2012: My parents had rubber mattress covers on all of the beds...not because everyone was prone to accidents, but because it cut down substantially on our allergies. It was also helpful the last time I sick, still living at home, and had an unfortunately ... (read in full...)
Sexless relationship going nowhere...
Q. Dear dearcupid aunts and uncles, I would like to get some advice on my relationship with my girlfriend. We are together for almost 3 years now (living together for 1.5 years), but where once was hope and happiness shining bright I feel darkness ne...
A. 8 October 2012: She probably doesn't like psychiatrists because she hasn't had one that she felt listened to her. Depression and anxiety together pose a unique challenge for a medical professional to treat and for the individual to overcome. Is she employed at ... (read in full...)
People find me intense and intimidating. How can I can get them to relax around me?
Q. This is kind of an odd post...for me anyway... But I have a tough time getting people to get comfortable around me. Everytime I meet someone for the 1st time, they are so cagey and quiet and stiff. They have a hard time making eye contact with ...
A. 8 October 2012: Making excessive eye contact along with a dry, cynical, and/or sarcastic sense of humor will make most people uncomfortable. I'm not sure if they feel uncomfortable because they prefer light humor, or maybe they feel like you are deliberately ... (read in full...)
How can I safely cut my addiction to (well known brand) coffee and become healthier?
Q. I attend university classes 4 days a week. On those days I wake up at about 8:30am. I always grab a tall cup of X Brand Coffee. I have always limited myself to the "tall" size and I only drink latte, mocha, frappuccino, or black tea latte, all of w...
A. 6 October 2012: Coffee isn't really bad for you as long as you use it in moderation and don't drink it late in the day. If you need it to enhance alertness and use it as a study aid You could buy a coffee maker (most cost $10-$15) and brew your own coffee at ... (read in full...)
I no longer know if I want to get married. So how do I bring up the subject to him?
Q. I found out my boyfriend has been looking up engagement rings lately. Im happy and flattered. We talked about marriage before and i used to be excited about it. I love him very much and i know he loves me. We have had our trials but we have gott...
A. 4 October 2012: Your state laws determine whether his debt will become yours.... (read in full...)
This guy calls me a lesbian. He says he does it for a joke. What should I do?
Q. I have this friend who likes to joke around and call me a lesbian. I have asked a numbers of times not to call me a lesbian and he keeps saying, "oh lighten up i am only Joking". I have told him please stop it. he always says "I am Joking". Ye...
A. 3 October 2012: If I were you, the next time he called me a lesbian, I would say, "F*** you, B****!" (just like he said to you when you tried to turn the tables.)
Then, I would ignore him, block him, and not talk to him again unless he apologized for being a ... (read in full...)
Why do guys always read into things too much?
Q. I have got some guy friends.I see most of them in a strict platonic way.I'm always friendly to them but NOT flirty.We talk,hang out and laugh together. However,when I start talking to them more often(especially if we're good friends/close fr...
A. 3 October 2012: Quote "To CandidCally,
I give my close male friends a lot of time and attention because they're my close friends.They're fun to be around and I enjoy their company.I wouldn't give them any attention or time if they were not my friends...I think this... (read in full...)
Will I be taken seriously in a business professional environment or in interviews because of my less-than ultra-femme appearance?
Q. okay, this isn't actually a specific relationship question, so much as it's just a general question i really need advice about. it's something that is really stressing me a great deal. i am a 28-year-old college grad with great interpersonal re...
A. 3 October 2012: You may have an advantage by not being ultrafemme.
Women are usually paid less than men who do the same same jobs. This is an unfortunate, but factual statement. By wearing more gender neutral clothing (business suits) and having short hair you... (read in full...)
Please listen up! my crush ignores me. what could this mean . . . . . .
Q. i love my crush, more than anything in the world and would be happy to marry him any day. me and my crush don't see each other anymore because we went to different secondary schools. im in year 9 and so is he. we only keep in contact (but rairly ...
A. 2 October 2012: There are so many possible reasons for why he could be ignoring you, and also many reasons for why he may not be ignoring you.
The thing about friendships from primary school is that they tend to hold up pretty well so long as you continue... (read in full...)
How can I get my girlfriend to show anger like a normal person?
Q. My girlfriend never gets mad. She just never gets impatient or annoyed or frazzled or frustrated. It's come to the point when I just want to instigate fights to get a reaction out of her. I push her, and push and push, but she nevers gets angry. W...
A. 2 October 2012: Do you love her, or are you just with her because you love a challenge? If you aren't going to treat her like you care about her, then, guess what?
It really isn't worth it.... (read in full...)
Because of an open relationship I may lose my gf
Q. a year ago, i asked my gf for an open relationship. i really wanted to experience more sexually from different types of women. We had been together for three years before i asked her, and after five months she told me she would give a try, though s...
A. 2 October 2012: I'm sorry, but I don't think there is anything you can do to change her mind.
You were the one who wanted the open relationship, not her. You were the one who told her you wanted to experience different women sexually...to a woman that says, 's... (read in full...)
Afraid of commitment and really unsure of just about everything in my life right now
Q. This is a long post but I really want to ask a lot of deep questions from the very wise agony aunts. For those that haven't followed my previous posts, I'll give a very quick intro to my situation. I met my wife three years ago. I had just finishe...
A. 2 October 2012: Nowhere do you say that you love her or she loves you.
Your marriage is a business arrangement with your wife calling all of the shots. The arrangement is: as long as you do what she wants and says you will have a wife and marriage.
Are you... (read in full...)
What are recommended lubes people have used. And What works best for the painful morning after stomach aches and muscle cramps?
Q. I'm newly wed of 2 months now and so I've been exploring many new things lately as new couples do. I was wondering what the best lube is that feels warm and maybe adds to your sensitivity? One other question... What works best for the painful ...
A. 2 October 2012: You need to have a pelvic exam.
To help alleviate the pain and cramps, you can use an over the counter pain relief product.... (read in full...)
I found a lot of disturbing things on his pc and I'm worried about my children
Q. Hello i really need help with this its killing me. Ive just moved my boyfriend in and he bought his pc wellni looked at it and found loads of lolicon on it. It was horrible and my head is so messed up, we have been friend years then i started dating ...
A. 2 October 2012: I was once engaged to a man who told me he had sick pornography on his computer because he liked the thrill of having the 'taboo' material, but didn't like what the material was. I was not even 18, incredibly naive, and I believed him. We broke up ... (read in full...)
Can a women get really tight from doing kegel exercises?
Q. My wife says she does the kegel exercise all the time but I can barely feel it when she squeezes. So I was wondering how strong a woman's vagina can actually get. Are there some woman that can squeeze so hard that it hurts him? Can some women ...
A. 2 October 2012: Yes, there are women who can hurt a man using just her pelvic floor muscles. NO it is NOT pleasant for either the man or the woman.
There are devices on the market that can help her strengthen her muscles. I do not know if they work. I've nev... (read in full...)
Should I tell my Fiance I made-out with another women?
Q. Hello, feeling like a piece of crap and could use some advice. I've been with my fiance for 10yrs and we are planning our marriage here soon, and actually just had our engagement party with our friends last week. I love her dearly, we are m...
A. 2 October 2012: I don't understand how this woman could be a part of a large group of mutual friends and your fiance doesn't know her. I don't understand why you wouldn't put some effort into making sure you don't hang out with her again. This woman has a ... (read in full...)
Can blood tests detect an eating disorder?
Q. I haven't been eating properly and have been making myself sick for a few years now. I've recently had a blood test done at my doctors and i'm worried the blood test can detect eating disorders. I'd be way too embarrassed to discuss this with my ...
A. 1 October 2012: No, a blood test can not detect an eating disorder.
Depending on the blood test, it may show that you are anemic, hypoglycemic, have an electrolyte imbalance, or some level of malnutrition or vitamin/mineral deficiency. These are all things t... (read in full...)
Pimples by my vagina?
Q. is it normal to have pimples by my vagina? i have shaved ever since high school so i know it's not those kinds of bumps. do i pop them? seems painful...
A. 1 October 2012: See a doctor. Throw out your razor and do NOT shave again until all of the pimples have cleared up.
It may be an STI, but it could also be a bacterial infection in your hair follicles. Whenever you pop one with a razor, you can spread it aroun... (read in full...)
Should I tell my Fiance I made-out with another women?
Q. Hello, feeling like a piece of crap and could use some advice. I've been with my fiance for 10yrs and we are planning our marriage here soon, and actually just had our engagement party with our friends last week. I love her dearly, we are m...
A. 1 October 2012: Is your fiance aware of your drug use? If she is and she has used these substances herself she might be more willing to forgive you depending on your level of inebriation, seeing as this woman came on to you AND she has done it before to other ... (read in full...)
I want to enjoy sex like my B/f does but I can't seem to because it hurts too much
Q. I want I know why sex still hurts for me. My first time with my boyfriend on June 8, it hurt a lot. On June 31st we did it again and it hurt a lot. On September 7th we did it again and it still hurt. Is there something wrong with me? I want to enjoy ...
A. 1 October 2012: If you had sex on June 31st, then I had sex on February 30th. ;-) (i'm kidding)
When you are young and inexperienced, sex can hurt alot. The first few dozen times I had sex, I could barely walk after. Some of this had to do with not being tu... (read in full...)
Crush on former teacher is coming back?
Q. So recently my friend shared a video of our former middle school teacher on his facebook and my friend is a few years older than me so he doesn't know about the crush I had on that teacher because he graduated two years before me. Anyway... it's ...
A. 1 October 2012: Crushes on older men are a normal part of psychosexual development while going through puberty and growing up. Usually, we develop a crush on someone because they have certain traits that we find attractive and would ultimately like our mate to ... (read in full...)
My g/f has been away for 6 days and I sexted another girl. Do I tell my g/f?
Q. Hi guys, This website is really great and I hope i can get some decent advice from you :) So first off I am going to admit I am a douche regarding what I did, and I feel terrible. My current gf who I have been seeing for five months now is...
A. 30 September 2012: First, you can break up with someone and sleep with them 3 months later. You don't have to be in a relationship with a person to have sex with them, or sext them for that matter. I think your girlfriend told you the truth, but you are too much of ... (read in full...)
What do you think she's up to?
Q. So I dated my ex for 5 months, and everything was great except for a few really bad arguments. I wasnt committing to her, because i thought it was too early and wanted us to take our time, and she wound up breaking up with me. I realized i really w...
A. 30 September 2012: Ok...you talked, DRANK WINE, then the kissing began.
Alcohol lowers a person's inhibitions. I doubt she would have kissed you if she had been sober.... (read in full...)
Will the man get the yeast infection too?
Q. if a female has a yeast infection and has intercourse with a man, does the man gets it?!...
A. 30 September 2012: He can, but usually it will only be his skin that is infected. He would have something like jock itch or 'crotch rot' (as some men call it.) When men develop a yeast infection, it can damage the skin and allow bacteria to cause a secondary ... (read in full...)
He is against gay marriage?
Q. Hi, I met this guy who is confused about what he wants. He was with a guy and they broke up now he is with a girl. Lately we stated talking and I am getting the vibe that he likes me. He likes to touch me a lot when he is talking to me. ...
A. 30 September 2012: You could ask him in private why he doesn't support Obama. It could be that he is fiscally conservative, but a little more liberal in his political views when it comes to specific social issues like gay marriage and equality.
If he knows you are ... (read in full...)
Is he trying to get back at me because I told him I won't cheat with him?
Q. There is this guy friend I have that's been doing his best to lead me on. He has a girlfriend but he was always acting like he was single. We were involved in an emotional affair you could say and nothing physical ever happened but not because he ...
A. 29 September 2012: Honestly, changing a facebook status to get revenge on another person is something a woman would do out of anger. Not something a man would do.
I honestly believe that the timing of you confronting him and his change to his relationship status o... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting to my boyfriend spending so much time taking care of his parents?
Q. Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and half. We are both adults. We both love each other and he has given me a ring. I have not met his parents yet, but I have met two of his siblings and his family is aware of our relation...
A. 29 September 2012: I agree that you are in a terrible position here. I am assuming that you are working so much because you need the money to pay bills and you are basically living paycheck to paycheck is this correct?
Does your boyfriend understand that you need... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting to my boyfriend spending so much time taking care of his parents?
Q. Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and half. We are both adults. We both love each other and he has given me a ring. I have not met his parents yet, but I have met two of his siblings and his family is aware of our relation...
A. 29 September 2012: Does your boyfriend work, or are you and/or his parents supporting him?
Is there any way you could arrange your schedule or trade shifts so that you have two days off at the end of one work week and the first two days off on the next work week so ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting to my boyfriend spending so much time taking care of his parents?
Q. Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and half. We are both adults. We both love each other and he has given me a ring. I have not met his parents yet, but I have met two of his siblings and his family is aware of our relation...
A. 28 September 2012: If his parents are approaching 80 years old, there is a good possibility that they are 'old fashioned.' They may not believe in living/sleeping together before marriage. They may be concerned that their youngest son and caretaker will abandon them ... (read in full...)
Why do guys always read into things too much?
Q. I have got some guy friends.I see most of them in a strict platonic way.I'm always friendly to them but NOT flirty.We talk,hang out and laugh together. However,when I start talking to them more often(especially if we're good friends/close fr...
A. 11 September 2012: You asked a question here previously: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/do-you-think-i-overreactedshould-i-just-stop.html
Guys think you are interested in something more because you are giving them a lot of your time and attention like you are ... (read in full...)
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