Why do guys always read into things too much?
Q. I have got some guy friends.I see most of them in a strict platonic way.I'm always friendly to them but NOT flirty.We talk,hang out and laugh together. However,when I start talking to them more often(especially if we're good friends/close fr...
A. 3 October 2012: Quote "To CandidCally,
I give my close male friends a lot of time and attention because they're my close friends.They're fun to be around and I enjoy their company.I wouldn't give them any attention or time if they were not my friends...I think this... (read in full...)
What can I do so that he wont know I am not a virgin?
Q. Hi, m 21yr old indian girl..had been in a relationship wid a guy approx for 1yr,bt he ditched nd left me,as i trusted on him...i was in physical relationship wid him...but before 1 nd a half year... Nd now m going to marry wid anothr guy......
A. 16 September 2012: There is a cosmetic surgery procedure available in your country that can restore your hymen. Additionally, you can request blood capsules that are put inside you. This procedure and the capsules make it seem like your wedding night is your first ... (read in full...)
Masturbating hurts
Q. Hi to all, First a little intro:About a year ago I decided to lose my virginity just so I could see what the fuss was about(I was 19).Before that I was masturbating for years so I wasn't concerned about hurting or stuff like that.(Never with...
A. 15 September 2012: Are you lubricated when you are beginning to use the dildo? If not, it can catch on the delicate tissue inside you and cause irritation and abrasions.... (read in full...)
Why did she do this to me, and how do I get over it?
Q. Dear Cupid, Back around the start of this year, I 'met' this 21-year old American girl* on Twitter. She was already following me and a number of other people I follow who were already following her, and so I ended up following her back. She p...
A. 15 September 2012: Because you have contemplated suicide and are depressed, i urge you to make an appointment to speak with a counselor immediately.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's jealousy and paranoia are getting to me
Q. hey need abit of help in a situation i have found myself in Gf saw me flirt with a girl online , this convo only lasted about 10 min, but she got very upset and i told her it meant nothing its jut facebook and i would never EVER cross the line a...
A. 15 September 2012: Flirting with another girl online definately 'crossed the line.' you might not consider it cheating, but SHE DOES.
I think you should sincerely apologize to her and take things from there.... (read in full...)
My fiancee's ex called her out of the blue and it has left me feeling worried, am I being irrational?
Q. Okay, a few nights ago my fiance's ex boyfriend called her out of the blue crying that his dad left his mom and everything. She talked for about 30 minutes trying to comfort him. This really bothered me. I've been known to have trust issues ...
A. 15 September 2012: If you do not respect her feelings, you will risk driving her away.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wakes me up and wants sex, then falls back asleep. Does this mean he is cheating on me?
Q. For the past week or so my boyfriend of 2 years will wake up and then start kissing my neck telling me how much he wants sex.then he turns around and falls back asleep ..i don't understand why ....is it he is cheating on me and thinking i am that ...
A. 14 September 2012: It sounds like he is still asleep. If he sleepwalks, or sleep talks, he is more likely to engage in sexual advances or behavior while still asleep.
After he wakes up in the morning, why not ask if he remembers the kissing.... (read in full...)
After a year of trying we still haven't conceived. Are there any tests doctors can do to find if I am ovulating?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been trying fir a baby for a year now. I am worrying im not ovulating. Because i know you can still have periods and not actually ovulate. My periods are pretty much like clockwork and i am monitoring my mucus. Does havi...
A. 14 September 2012: In the United States, our pharmacies and grocery stores sell a product that looks like a pregnancy test, but it checks for ovulation. The stores here sell this product next to the pregnancy tests.
One brand of ovulation test that seems to be av... (read in full...)
I am told I need to make a move on a woman early on, but how can I do this when I haven't developed feelings yet?
Q. I'm a guy in my mid-thirties. And so far I didn't manage to get into a relation. Part of this has been self-esteem issues. (Thank you very much bullies). Now i'm slowly getting over that. But the problem is. I don't fall in love easily. I ha...
A. 14 September 2012: I think perhaps you should try online dating.
Another thing, i've known people who were bullied at children who were pretty late to the dating game. One particular guy was still a virgin in his mid-twenties who was 'friend-zoned' by the girl he ... (read in full...)
My husband took pictures of women without their consent. Should I send him packing or report him?
Q. My husband is in his late 50's. The other day we were both at the mall shopping and he had his cell phone with him. I was in another area of the store shopping and we set a designated time and place to meet to allow us each enough time to s...
A. 14 September 2012: While he took semi-innapropriate pictures without consent, there is a good possibility that the police will not be able to do anything because it happened in a public place. As long as he was not photographing underage girls and teens...they ... (read in full...)
My fiancee's ex called her out of the blue and it has left me feeling worried, am I being irrational?
Q. Okay, a few nights ago my fiance's ex boyfriend called her out of the blue crying that his dad left his mom and everything. She talked for about 30 minutes trying to comfort him. This really bothered me. I've been known to have trust issues ...
A. 14 September 2012: Most likely, he called your fiance (his ex) because she was familiar with his family situation. If it had been a female friend of hers calling about the same issue, or even a male friend that she had never had a romantic relationship with...would ... (read in full...)
Is my self medical abortion unsuccessful?
Q. Dear cupids, Help!!!. I recently had a strip test and found a slight second red line. By my calculation, I was 32 days pregnant. So I used the misoprostol alone procedure to terminate it for I have been taught on how to take the medicine in a two ...
A. 14 September 2012: According to some information I've read there was a second medication you should have taken BEFORE the misoprosol.
Take another pregnancy test.
See a doctor.
... (read in full...)
I'm back and in need of some more tough love. I do everything for her and she constantly curses at me and says I do nothing. I need help getting away.
Q. Well agony aunts... It's me. The one that moved to Tennessee to be with a woman I love, that turned out to be a rough ride with 3 kids... Bring back memories now. I wanted to provide an update and get more brutality thrown my way because it helps me ...
A. 14 September 2012: It is time to put your foot down and tell her that you aren't going to do anything more for her. No more money for rent, no more buying things for her business, no more buying food, no more buying her love, and no more flying to her to have ... (read in full...)
We had a threesome and my husband completely ignored me! I feel our marriage is over...
Q. I am married for 5 1/2 yrs. My husband and I have useId talking about a 3some several times during sex for excitement. Me being bi. But he has always said he doesn't really wanna do it. But the opportunity presented itself. And he asked and asked if ...
A. 14 September 2012: There is a columnist elsewhere on the internet named Dan Savage who has answered questions similar to yours before. He writes a column named "Savage Love."
This is a link to a question similar to yours and includes his reply: http://w... (read in full...)
I have a girlfriend but I think I want to be with this guy! Does this mean I am gay and what do I do about it?
Q. I’m 18 years old guy and I’m having a trouble with my orientation. I think I’m in love with a male. It seems so crazy to me, yet it’s true. My father owns a small firm and there’s one worker there who’s driving me crazy. Almost every day I come to ...
A. 14 September 2012: When I was in high school, I had a crush on this beautiful, feminine, intelligent girl. I felt more longing for her than i've ever felt for any other person. My heart ached knowing we could never ever be together. She had thick chestnut brown ... (read in full...)
I need information on how to deal with my mom who has OCD/ADD and treats me like a worthless bum.
Q. Hello, Sorry for the length and thanks in advance for any help! Just putting it plainly, my mother makes me feel like I'm the worst. First off, I'll admit I'm lazy and that has caused me to be a little behind in my progression to adulthoo...
A. 14 September 2012: When was the last time your mother had a physical with bloodwork done? A hormonal imbalance (a thyroid problem for example) can cause a person to act angry and irrational.
Are you certain she is not prescribed any stimulant medication for her ... (read in full...)
We have been hooking up for months, do you think he is starting to develop feelings for me?
Q. I've been hooking up with a guy friend for about 3 months. We've become so close and I like it a lot. I've started to develope feelings if you couldn't tell and I'm not sure if he has also. He seems to care more; we work together and he's always ...
A. 14 September 2012: I think you two just need to have an honest talk about the future. If he is asking if you will be there for him when he leaves for college it would seem he is possibly considering you as a part of his future. It is very possible he is only holding ... (read in full...)
I can't believe cocaine had such an effect on our relationship, how do I move past this?
Q. i beeen with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years, he is on cocaine, but trying very hard to hold hide it, anyway he was living with me, and it was a nightmare from hell, finally he left in jan 2012, been gone since, we still saw each other, but it was ...
A. 13 September 2012: Ten years ago, I was introduced to cocaine. It quickly became a crutch as I tried to work 2 part time jobs while attending college full time. In a matter of weeks, I went from using on the weekends to using regularly. Then, I needed it just to ... (read in full...)
Is it my insecurity or is my boyfriend being mean to me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for one year. Usually, the relationship is pretty great. But I'm having a problem with him right now, and I don't know who is to blame- him or me. He just started back at school which takes up his entire day, ...
A. 13 September 2012: My fiance and i were recently in a similar situation. I have pretty severe anxiety and am prone to having panic attacks. He doesn't empathize well with others at all.
He finally understood why I was so upset when I broke down and asked him how ... (read in full...)
Need some suggestions on toys/lube. Help!
Q. What is the best brand of silicone based lube to buy? Opinions? Also what is the best/most reputable brand of vibrators or toys to buy and what should i look for when buying one? I have a hard time acheiving orgasm and have never rly bought good ...
A. 13 September 2012: Why not use a search engine and search for a local 'adult' themed store. This store should have information about the items you are researching AND they should be able to answer questions about the products they have available.... (read in full...)
My Co-worker has a Gf but keeps on winking at me. I'm interested, but how should I indicate that? Or could I be mistaking his intentions?
Q. I have a coworker that has been winking at me for sometime. I didnt really pay it any attention at first because I thought that he was just friendly. However,I really noticed it this last time when he winked really slow and pointed his finger at me ...
A. 13 September 2012: I don't think it is a good idea to pursue any kind of relationship with a work colleague. Is he aware of your orientation? If not, there is a very good possibility that approaching him will make your work relationship very uncomfortable in the ... (read in full...)
Reconnected with my high school sweetheart, we have unresolved feelings, what do I do? PS We are married to other people...
Q. Hi,Iam married and happly so but the girl that was my high school sweetheat went her way due to her wanting us to be friends, we have since reconnected via social media and we find that we both still have unresolved feelings for each, she is also ...
A. 13 September 2012: If you are happily married and wish to remain so, you will tell your old flame that your feelings for one another are innapropriate and stop speaking with her. Please, use some good judgement and self-control!... (read in full...)
I'm sleeping with a guy who has a girlfriend. I want a bit more but not a relationship, I don't know how to tell him without scaring him off. What do I do?
Q. I just got out an 8 year relationship about 6 months ago and I cant separate my feelings from sex. Ive always considered myself to have a high sex drive, but majority of the time I was in relationships, so I didnt have to have casual sex but I have ...
A. 11 September 2012: If you cannot 'seperate (your) feelings from sex' then any kind of friends with benefits relationship is going to be problematic for you.
The fact that he has a girlfriend will likely cause problems for you in the near future. You already ... (read in full...)
I am having a serious clash with my boyfriend and I'm looking for some advice please.
Q. I am having a serious clash with my boyfriend and I'm looking for some advice please. I was raped about 7 years ago. It was very brutal (the guy was on a lot of drugs and had a knife) and it took me a long time to get myself back on track and ...
A. 11 September 2012: Do you think he would agree to attend a joint counseling session with you?
It is possible that going to the counselor together will help him understand how detrimental his smoking is to your mental health. If you can convince him to attend, ... (read in full...)
Why do guys always read into things too much?
Q. I have got some guy friends.I see most of them in a strict platonic way.I'm always friendly to them but NOT flirty.We talk,hang out and laugh together. However,when I start talking to them more often(especially if we're good friends/close fr...
A. 11 September 2012: You asked a question here previously: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/do-you-think-i-overreactedshould-i-just-stop.html
Guys think you are interested in something more because you are giving them a lot of your time and attention like you are ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is hanging out with his ex tomorrow and I know he still has feelings for her
Q. Today my boyfriend picked me up from work and he seen his friend driving around they also dated in the past but agreed to be friends. That is fine with me, the problem I have is when they pulled over to talk I was going to sign my time out sheet at ...
A. 11 September 2012: Tell him you will only be comfortable with them hanging out if you are there.... (read in full...)
Is he cheating or is it all in my head?
Q. Ok so my boyfriend of one year got caught talking and seeing his ex girlfriend about a month ago I talked to Both I them and their just friends nothing happen, I told him that's fine but no more spending time with her. I should come first! But sense ...
A. 11 September 2012: But the present counts as much as the future.
If he sees a future with you, he needs to be willing to work with you on the problems you are having NOW. Please make sure he knows this.... (read in full...)
Does she not like me?
Q. I like this girl. I sent her flowers. I don't see her because we are not close or have any friends in common, but we are friends so I have her phone number. I left her a message with my phone number saying that the flowers are from me. She did n...
A. 10 September 2012: How did you get her phone number? Did she gice it to you or did you get it some other way?
Could she be in class or at work and not able to reply?
Does she have a boyfriend?
Have you spent any time with her getting to know her, or have you... (read in full...)
We both had a similar bad dream on the same night, does anyone have any ideas what this was all about?
Q. Hey guys, I need some advice, or I'm not sure what I need, maybe some clue as to what this means... Alright, so last night, me and my fiance both had bad dreams, a little about us first; We've known one another for four or so years, it's been ...
A. 7 September 2012: I'm sorry. I had a longer response written, but something appears to have gone wrong.
Most likely, it was a coincidence. After spending an intimate and emotionally charged week together, proposing and having her accept, you parted ways. This co... (read in full...)
Will my mindset be a problem for me in the future? I want to be happy.
Q. I am scared of marriage and children. I love children but when I see them I do not know how to even ask for their name. I sound mean most of the time and this scares them away. I and my twin sister, brother moved out of my fathers house when I was...
A. 7 September 2012: Anomena...i have read all of your questions.
My heart goes out to you. Your life has been extraordinarily difficult. I am happy to read elsewhere that you are working on a college degree and will be pursuing a masters degree as well. An educatio... (read in full...)
My Bf only wants to play video games. It upsets me. What can I do?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years. I do love him but our relationship has took a serious turn for the worse ever since he lost his part-time job about 4 months ago. We starting dating when we met at 18 and as always the first...
A. 7 September 2012: If you do not want to have sex with him, then don't.
The next time he tells you to just "break up with" him, please do it. He will never realize what he could lose until you are gone.
Finally, you breaking up with him could easily be the ki... (read in full...)
I gave him a warning. Is this time to walk away?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now but he's always been abusive to me. He is bipolar has anxiety attacks, clinical depression, and just a whole book full of problems that I dealt with because in the end he's always there for me and ...
A. 7 September 2012: A mental illness (or three) is no reason or excuse for treating your significant other like he treats you. Officially, i've been diagnosed with adhd, anxiety, and cyclothymia (more depression than anything else.) i am thankful for my fiance and ... (read in full...)
I've been so upset because of my boyfriend's relationship when we were on a break that I ended up cheating on him! How do I come clean about this?
Q. Hey everyone, I did something 10 days ago and I regret it sooo much,its killing me inside..I know people will judge me here but its ok I have to learn to deal with it.. I have been seeing my boyfriend for the past 7 years,he is very caring,lovi...
A. 7 September 2012: Are you happy with your boyfriend or has your relationship been clouded with stress and problems?
Seven years is a long time to try and make a relationship work. Are you two ever intimate in any way? Do you show one another affection? Or are y... (read in full...)
Thinking about her sleeping with guys who have bigger penises than me is driving me mad!
Q. Ok so my fiancé and I had takin a break for 3 weeks about a year ago. During that she was hanging out with a guy she had texted when we had broke up for couple days a few months prior. The text were about how they wanted to hook up. But when we got ...
A. 7 September 2012: Um...most women cannot accommodate a penis 10 inches long. I'm 5'9" tall and can't accommodate one that is any longer than yours.
Here's the deal: it is about how you use what you have AND the emotional connection she has with you that makes yo... (read in full...)
Is he cheating or is it all in my head?
Q. Ok so my boyfriend of one year got caught talking and seeing his ex girlfriend about a month ago I talked to Both I them and their just friends nothing happen, I told him that's fine but no more spending time with her. I should come first! But sense ...
A. 7 September 2012: Have you asked him why does not seem interested in sex?
Why not ask him to show you his phone the next time he says that he wants you to trust him. If there is nothing in his phone that proves he is or was cheating, then you can slowly work on ... (read in full...)
We both had a similar bad dream on the same night, does anyone have any ideas what this was all about?
Q. Hey guys, I need some advice, or I'm not sure what I need, maybe some clue as to what this means... Alright, so last night, me and my fiance both had bad dreams, a little about us first; We've known one another for four or so years, it's been ...
A. 7 September 2012: I T... (read in full...)
When will it be safe again to have sex without extra precautions?
Q. just over two weeks ago i was taking my pill, with the only drink i could get hold of, coke, and i am unsure whether i swallowed it, bear in mind it was a can of coke and i could not see inside. so just incase how long should i take extra ...
A. 7 September 2012: Please read ALL of the instructions that come with your birth control packet. The information you need to read will either be a booklet or leaflet. This booklet or leaflet will contain instructions, it will tell you what to do if you miss one or ... (read in full...)
I cant get over the fact that my girlfriend wasn't a virgin when we got together and that she lost her virginity to her ugly ex!
Q. Hi.. My problem is that when i start my realation with my gf i wasnt vey serious and she told me that she isnt a virgin... I minded that but i thought iys ok.. But now am getting so close to her and atracted but i feel bad that she is not a ...
A. 5 September 2012: How can you feel bad that she isn't a virgin when you are "having so much sex?" Were you a virgin when you met her?
At this point, she wouldn't be a virgin anyway. It doesn't matter who she lost it to, it matters that she is with you.
... (read in full...)
15 year old pupil is hitting on me - her teacher. Should I report this?
Q. I am in a terribly difficult situation. I have been teaching for 20 years and this is the first I’ve ever had this particular problem. There is a girl in one of my classes; she is very young, 14/15 years old, a child. Now I have had students have ...
A. 5 September 2012: You need to report her behavior to the guidance counselor and your school's resource officer (if you have one).
This girl's behavior is a sign that she has probably been sexually ABUSED. Do something before you become an abuser yourself.... (read in full...)
Is he flirting or just very friendly?
Q. I work at a position where my university hires their students to work.. Well, this 36 year old undergrad (went back to school) befriended me and he's married for about 4 years with a baby. He's extremely friendly and always asking for hugs (one time ...
A. 5 September 2012: If his behavior is making you uncomfortable, then it is innapropriate. If you want to know about his wife, why not ask how she is doing?... (read in full...)
This internet conflict went too far, and I don't know what to do.
Q. I'm 15, and i frequently use the website tumblr. i am a sophomore. i made a post with advice for freshman, and at the end i said (jokingly) "if you scream when you see your friends, i'll hit you". this girl messaged me anonymously saying things like ...
A. 5 September 2012: Is there any way that you notate to indicate that you are 'joking' online? If you don't indicate that you are joking or being sarcastic, people will assume you are serious and you have no way to prove that you were joking.
My fiance uses /s.
A... (read in full...)
I'm worried about the age difference!
Q. My long distance boyfriend is 18, and im 15. Im still nervous about meeting him and how he will react when seeing me, but not as much now. My mom sorta aproved so far. And i have not told my dad because he dont like me even thinking about boys :/ ...
A. 2 September 2012: Why not tell your long distance boyfriend about your father's occupation and let him decide if he wants to risk getting in trouble. If your boyfriend is from another state and you are below the age of consent and the two of you do anything sexual, ... (read in full...)
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